DirtyAngel Posted December 4, 2015 Report Posted December 4, 2015 ewwww, nope, not saving, just start over... ChrissyQuinn 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted December 6, 2015 Report Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) Chapter 12 I suppose I should begin by saying that you certainly know how to draw out the suspense of a thing. If Valentina doesn't get through the ritual next chapter, you WILL find me camped on your doorstep. ::huffs a little:: Now, on to the actual review part for a bit. It certainly feels like Valentina's stepping into a place she might not want to be. Granted, this ritual is her only chance to reclaim Aneurin, but what a cast of characters. Islwyn hates her for being Aneurin's and for taking Aneurin from him. Aneurin gambled that his love would be stronger than the curse, and he lost. Yorwrath both loves Valentina and hates her for reawakening his ability to love, something he had thought dead with his wife. And Caoilfionn still doesn't tell all he knows, does he? The unicorn is as duplicitous as the druid. I'm almost dreading what's to come. I don't think any of them will get what they want from this ritual, and it might possibly make everything worse by destroying any vestiges of hope for a future without grief and pain. Wicked, wicked woman... Edited December 6, 2015 by BronxWench Quote
ChrissyQuinn Posted December 6, 2015 Author Report Posted December 6, 2015 Chapter 12 I suppose I should begin by saying that you certainly know how to draw out the suspense of a thing. If Valentina doesn't get through the ritual next chapter, you WILL find me camped on your doorstep. ::huffs a little:: Now, on to the actual review part for a bit. It certainly feels like Valentina's stepping into a place she might not want to be. Granted, this ritual is her only chance to reclaim Aneurin, but what a cast of characters. Islwyn hates her for being Aneurin's and for taking Aneurin from him. Aneurin gambled that his love would be stronger than the curse, and he lost. Yorwrath both loves Valentina and hates her for reawakening his ability to love, something he had thought dead with his wife. And Caoilfionn still doesn't tell all he knows, does he? The unicorn is as duplicitous as the druid. I'm almost dreading what's to come. I don't think any of them will get what they want from this ritual, and it might possibly make everything worse by destroying any vestiges of hope for a future without grief and pain. Wicked, wicked woman... As wicked as I am, you know you're enjoying this wild and crazy ride BronxWench 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted December 6, 2015 Report Posted December 6, 2015 Well, yes, but that's because I'm an awful person who largely sucks at happy endings, and letting my own characters find love and joy. Which reminds me, I have to finish a synopsis for a submission... Quote
KoKoa_B Posted December 9, 2015 Report Posted December 9, 2015 Alright! I've finally caught up with the reading and I'll have to agree with BW: I'm a bit let down that you ended the last chapter like that! The one thing that I have a question about is what Islwyn mentioned to Val: someone inside doesn't like the fact that they've slept with one another. But yet and still, Aneurin remembers Islwyn and still beds him. And the way he called her a Dy'ne; it seems that although something inside of him doesn't agree with having sex with male elves, he would rather do that than to love Val as he once did. All because she's human. If that makes sense... The unicorn and the druid are definitely hiding something but as much as it pains me to admit, I will put my money on the fact that Islwyn has more to hide than Caoilfionn. The unicorn speaks about prophesies, pretty much talking around everything. But Islwyn is a bit off. He halfway admitted that he was jealous all because he saw her first and felt that she should be his. But in the same breath, he tells her that she doesn't know her place. Which I guess, according to these elves, any and all dy'ne, no matter how loyal or pretty, are only worth being sex slaves to them. At least Yorwrath is honest with his intentions, albeit blunt. You can now tell that he does have feelings for Val. And I have a gut feeling that Yorwarth is going to try to hide them until either his death or if somehow he can claim her as his. As the others pointed out: he doesn't want to get hurt again by loving a human like he did before. I believe that he may have felt that she was just some dy'ne before but now... he only calls her that now to mask his true feelings. I don't know how I feel about the sex scene. Of course, it was beyond hot! And we can tell that the tension between the two had been building for quite some time. It still felt that it came out of nowhere. Almost like a "you're hurt, I'm hurt; let's have sex to make things tolerable"! LOL! But now that Aneurin has lost his memory, I can see Val and Yorwarth as a couple more than Val and Aneurin. BronxWench 1 Quote
Tahn Posted December 9, 2015 Report Posted December 9, 2015 What she said ^ KoKoa_B and BronxWench 2 Quote
ChrissyQuinn Posted December 11, 2015 Author Report Posted December 11, 2015 The one thing that I have a question about is what Islwyn mentioned to Val: someone inside doesn't like the fact that they've slept with one another. But yet and still, Aneurin remembers Islwyn and still beds him. And the way he called her a Dy'ne; it seems that although something inside of him doesn't agree with having sex with male elves, he would rather do that than to love Val as he once did. All because she's human. It's not just because she's human. I think Caolfionn says something about it, that their love gave Aneurin too much power, and the blood curse didn't like that so it nipped it in the bud if that makes any sense. True love is power, (as cheesy as that sounds) it was the same reason why Baba Yaga couldn't bother them, Baba Yaga is powerless to effect those who are truly in love according to legend BronxWench 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted December 11, 2015 Report Posted December 11, 2015 And now I have Peter Cook's voice in my head... "Twu wuv..." ChrissyQuinn 1 Quote
DirtyAngel Posted December 12, 2015 Report Posted December 12, 2015 true bluv...he said true bluv! BronxWench 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted December 12, 2015 Report Posted December 12, 2015 No, no, that's "To blave..." Quote
DirtyAngel Posted December 12, 2015 Report Posted December 12, 2015 oh yeah...billy crystal cracks me up BronxWench 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted December 12, 2015 Report Posted December 12, 2015 "Have fun storming the castle!" Quote
DirtyAngel Posted December 12, 2015 Report Posted December 12, 2015 Yep, Yowli is smitten, he doesn't want to do the ceremony because he no longer wants to share Val. Gonna have to kill Izzy and Anurysm and make off with Val ChrissyQuinn 1 Quote
DirtyAngel Posted December 15, 2015 Report Posted December 15, 2015 remember when Val goes all bad ass queen of the elves girl, no bikini armor Quote
ChrissyQuinn Posted December 16, 2015 Author Report Posted December 16, 2015 remember when Val goes all bad ass queen of the elves girl, no bikini armor But... I like bikini armor... >.> granted if you're going to wear that shit you better have magic is all I'm going to say lol Quote
Tahn Posted December 16, 2015 Report Posted December 16, 2015 Yeah, metal bikinis would be a bad idea at this point. Quote
BronxWench Posted January 4, 2016 Report Posted January 4, 2016 Chapter 13 Well, I suppose I was right. After a dreadfully long wait to find out what's happened, it seems that it'g going to be a case of no one getting what they wanted or needed from the ritual. That oh-so-brief chance to find her beloved Aneurin was perhaps even more painful than Yorwrath's realization that no matter how much he loves Valentina, she will never love him as much as the memory of his little brother. Islwyn deserves a slow and very painful death, preferably one that takes at least a month before he finally succumbs. And Caoilfionn is truly the only pure one, which may be the saddest thing of all. The cruelest thing was the Swynyr confessing to remembering what Aneurin and Valentina had, and then telling her she would be dead long before Aneurin was strong enough to take control. Such exquisite cruelty deserves an equally exquisite punishment, and I do hope that Baba Yaga has something in her bag of revolting tricks. I have this terrible lump in my throat, and my eyes are blurry, you evil, evil woman. Quote
ChrissyQuinn Posted February 22, 2016 Author Report Posted February 22, 2016 And now for the chapter 14 responses so far Bronxie says:Augh!All this time, and it's another wicked cliffhanger. Damn you, woman! Well, Baba Yaga is certainly up to the usual nonsense. All words and trickery, but Red Sun sounds yummy. Very yummy. And I still want to bitchslap Islwyn through the forest and back again. The Druid needs a serious beating, he does. Aneurin isn't even trying to pretend, and Yorwrath, well. I hadn't expected him to be madly in love, or to even attempt to behave in a civil manner. He'd be defenseless then, and I don't expect he'd do that, not even for Valentina.But surprise, surprise... Grwn. Now there's a good one. He's worth keeping, him and the silly unicorn, who just might be actually on Valentina's side.Now to see what mischief the Pixies have brought. ::taps foot:: What are you waiting for? Write!Oh Bronxie, how I love your reviews... let me count the ways. I think its a consensus that we all want to bitch slap Aneurin and Islwyn like a hobbit... there and back again. Haha, see my horrible joke there? And Islwyn has some pain coming his way, I will say that much. The sad part of everything is... Yorwrath is actually madly in love with Valentina, maybe even as much as original flavor Aneurin was/is. But he's not going to let that show because he's the king of the asshats of what happened last time he fell in love with a human girl. Also he knows he has to step up back into his leadership role with the Red Caps. And, admittedly, Valentina's focus on Aneurin after the failed ritual has a lot to do with it too, As for the Pixies and Grwn.... That is all I'm willing to say And Tahn says: Trying to review this on my phone, so please excuse any mistakes. Why is everyone ignoring her like that? I mean really. I hope she does leave, if only for everyone to realize what they've lost. She is an amazing woman and doesn't deserve that. Oh, Tahn! You managed to type that review more dexterously on your phone than I was able to write this post at my PC. No apologies necessary! She's being ignored because Yorwrath is being an asshole his version of sulky, which means hostile and pre-occupied(primarily with taking Dryslwyn Tanllyd-- the big ass capital city of the Elves in Ersland). Grwn is busy getting ready to set out again and prepare for a "siege" which everyone is taking way too lightly if you ask me *cough*! Aneurin and Islwyn are busy entertaining the Pixie Queen and her mate, and Caoilfionn is more or less just there. So people are ignoring her because she's not part of their plans for taking the city. Valentina isn't a warrior, she can fight when pressed to; but there is a difference between sacking a city and fighting a toothless bandit; or even sneakily dispatching guards. She's also in an odd spot, and they more or less don't know how to deal with her. She's a human (kind of) and back in the middle of a society that doesn't care much for humans. So at the core of it, she's more or less being ignored because they don't know what to do with her. She's not a concubine, and she's not the typical dy'ne slave. Currently Valentina is that weird shaped screw that comes with Ikea furniture. You don't know what to do with it when you take it out the box so you set it to the side and pretend it doesn't exist until the instructions need it. In Yorwrath's defense, she's been kind of a dick to him. While she's had these blinders on, hyper focused on bringing her Aneurin back there's Yorwrath; quietly enduring for a week or so. So after watching the woman he loves obsess over what he considers a dead man, he decides to go back to giving zero fucks. This is mainly because to him it's better to be an asshole than admit you are capable of feeling anything other than rage and annoyance--in short he'll probably be fine after he kills a few people. Things are about to get better though... there will be a happy ending if I have to breakout that special hammer that makes square pegs fit into round holes Quote
Tahn Posted February 22, 2016 Report Posted February 22, 2016 Aww, poor Yorwrath. I know he's an asshat, but the longer this story goes on, the more I like him. Quote
BronxWench Posted February 22, 2016 Report Posted February 22, 2016 Wait, did Chrissy just defend Yorwrath?? ::squeezes Yorwrath plushie in surprise:: "Currently Valentina is that weird shaped screw that comes with Ikea furniture. You don't know what to do with it when you take it out the box so you set it to the side and pretend it doesn't exist until the instructions need it." ::dies laughing:: Quote
Tahn Posted February 22, 2016 Report Posted February 22, 2016 Hehe. I do sense that Yorwrath is in a lot of pain when it comes to Val's rejection/ignoring of him. he's just to proud to admit it. This whole Yorwrath and the dragon blood thing is KILLING me, I've gotta know what happens with that! Quote
ChrissyQuinn Posted February 27, 2016 Author Report Posted February 27, 2016 It's that time again boys and girls! It's Chrissy Responds to Reviews time Today we have two first time reviewers! Yay! DarkAlley_Rambler says :Whelp, caught up in one night. You definitely know how to hold the readers attention. The whole True King/original self conflict will definitely have me coming back for more. I love dread beings, particularly their fall. -crosses fingers- Yorwrath... honestly I either want to put his head on a spike or get him a reeaaaly good psychiatrist. Hm, too bad I can't do both. Or either really, it's your story. Val herself seems like a really solid character. As are her trains of thought, no where as stilted as many characters are in similar situations. I do like how she is aware how she might sort be just a tad lacking in the feeling guilty department when she poisons that whole camp or causes a town to burn down... then just moves on. I don't think it's a particularly health character trait, but then if characters where all 100% postive traits they'd be pretty boring. XD I think my biggest takeaway is actually from the prologue with the father collecting his son. I really like it when writers/actor portray that assholes aren't -just- assholes. Dumb, misguided, just infuriating ox still cared for his kid. Kudos for that, I actually wanted to smash in the back of his head when Val spotted him in the mob. But then I'm the lecturing type when it comes to jackasses. -snicker- Honestly hopes she goes with Grwn. I swear that hasn't anything to do with him actually being my favorite character. What can I say, I have a soft spot for poor, overworked side characters. Well, hopefully my reading into the wee hours of normal people time hasn't made this review too confusing... Yeah, keep up the good work. Your story is amazing and again has me following another set of characters, elves of all things, with apt attention. psst, dwarves still rule! My response:Thank you I'm glad you took the time to respond and that you're enjoying the story so far! Yorwrath needs therapy, that's a given. Anyone one who has been through everything he's been through is going to come out the end a little off--or a lot off in his case. I feel like I say this a lot, but Yorwrath cares more than people looking in realize. Yes, he's feral and broken in many ways but under many layers of horrible aweful things he does have a gooey center--it may be rancid mayo... but it's still a gooey center.Also, brace yourself because Grwn will play a larger part coming up the last chapter ( Chapter 16) and the Epilogue will have a lot of him as well. I will admit that dwarves can be rather neat, but elves! And Pippy Chick reviewed the Prologue so I won't put it in a spoiler, Pippy Chick said: Prologue I - Really good, interesting set up. I really like you main character, although I suspect trouble of some kind or another lies ahead. Great writing! Prologue II: I am rewarding myself for writing by reading bits of yours, and this is fabulous. It just gets better and better. Really great! Maybe I shouldn't, but I loved it when she killed all of those nasty knights. Though I don't think that's going to go unnoticed somehow... My Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! And I hope you continue reading! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how much horribleness I heap upon my characters Well I hope you guys enjoy this week's installment. We only have one chapter left in the story and then the Epilogue which will probably be as long as the Prologue And then there will be the Sequel... Eyes of Fire (guess who is going to be the focus in that one?... seriously.. guess! ) Quote
CL Mustafic Posted February 27, 2016 Report Posted February 27, 2016 OMG Are you writing the sequel from Yowler's pov? if so I'm totally excited!!! Quote
BronxWench Posted February 27, 2016 Report Posted February 27, 2016 So am I! ::pets Yorwrath plushie happily:: Quote
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