BashfulScribe's Written Works

[Joe Long]

May wants attention she will blame who ever to get it even hurting her friends that's my opinion but he was zipping uP his pants in front of them so it's hard to see who is at fault here

It's not a question of them doing something, it's whether May said 'Yes'. She's had a history of changing the story, while Phil's had a history of not taking 'No' for an answer.

[magusfang]

Adam got a bj, why is he at fault, it was consensual...

[Joe Long]

Adam got a bj, why is he at fault, it was consensual...

because the next day, when May was sober, she said Adam forced her (also forced her to accept cunnilingus)

Edited July 7, 2015 by Joe Long

[magusfang]

Still...poor guy, he needs to find someone a little less crazy cause so far he's pulled the lunatic trifecta

[Samara]

Still...poor guy, he needs to find someone a little less crazy cause so far he's pulled the lunatic trifecta

yeah I agree with you. all three girls of Adam are kind of lunatic in their own way. lol

[Joe Long]

yeah I agree with you. all three girls of Adam are kind of lunatic in their own way. lol

I think that was bashful's point in writing the story, to compare & contrast different types of lunatic girls (present company excepted, of course)

[Ishmael]

It's good to see you finally got a forum thread, Bashful! You have posed an interesting question.

I meant more along the lines of "May says Phil did it. Phil said he didn't. Who's lying?"

It makes more sense in the story if May is lying. We know she's a liar, and that she has no qualms about lying about serious things like rape. She said she wanted to make Adam jealous, but I think she just wanted to win him over by uniting with him against a common enemy: Phil. While Phil certainly would have a stronger motive to lie (not getting arrested for rape), I think he's confident enough in himself that he thinks he can turn the situation in his favor no matter what May says. He'll likely try to pass it off as a misunderstanding again, which will get the support of the people, but not of Adam and Nicole, causing further tension between the three of them.

Just a theory, though. Can't wait to see what actually happens.

[Joe Long]

The brilliance of it is that both Phil and May stand accused of things they've each been guilty of in the past, making it a 'He Said, She Said'. The other characters as well as the readers are free to make whatever conclusions they wish. It seems like a big cluster fuck, where everyone will be pissed at everyone else.

PHIL Nicole, why are you with him? you trying to steal my girlfriend, twerp?

NICOLE Phil, no one owns me. If I was trying to hurt you, I would have fucked Adam in your bed, not your parents!

PHIL You what? This ninth grader?

ADAM what do you care? you were too busy attacking May!

NICOLE why are you defending that ho?

PHIL huh? You know the bitch lied about you!

NICOLE That's right, she did!

MAY I'm not fucking lying - I said no!

PHIL what are you going to do May, drag a mattress around school?

NICOLE Phil, I don't care what really happened, you're still a douche. Whoever named this family 'Love' was pulling a sick joke

[BashfulScribe]

Joe Long is approaching a theme of my story, but only a part of it. A major theme of my story was that you thought you were a good person in high school when in reality, you were a lot more of a jerk than you thought you were. I tried to explore the hypocrisies in many characters. The confident moving-ahead type (May) thinks a lot higher than herself than she actually is, and has little self-awareness. There's the narcissist with low self-esteem (Adam) who dislikes himself, but only the parts of him that are easy to dislike. He likes to see past his own faults too, and his world still revolves around him no matter how altruistic he gets. There's the smug holier-than-thou type who believes he knows a lot more than he does (Paul), your standard douchey bros (K.I.T.), a guy who believes forgiveness is inherent (Pierce) and someone who believes they have a right to control another's life as long as they think that they're steering them in the right direction (Nicole). One of the reasons my favorite character is Megan is because I had to think up a character who is kind and innocent in nature and turn them into a jerk, which led to every event involving Megan getting the short end of the stick building up her desire for comeuppence, and eventually getting her way. At this point, I find her and her unexpected nature more interesting and joyous to write than Nicole's, and that's saying something.

[Joe Long]

Now what am I going to say? LOL

I am fascinated by analyzing characters, here and on TV. It's become increasingly easier for me to visualize even someone else's characters interacting in a new scene, as I posted above. And that, of course, has made it easier to write my own story, which being based on me is very introspective.

I'd have to say I was closest to being like Adam. I started writing last year at the other site which shall not be named, and now with the intervening time to read the continuing works of bashful and jashley, and read up on the craft of writing, I've gone back to the beginning of my story (which I will re-release very soon here at AFF.)

My story doesn't change. There's new dialogue and scenes to better show the characters and their back stories, but I'm really concentrating on effectively expressing the emotions and the inner struggles of my main character. He has to face up to his short comings and deal with them, not run away.

These stories are not about sex, they're about teenagers struggling to grow the hell up.

I'm hoping, that as an old guy, I can be an example to at least one reader who may be going through the same issues that I did, that it gets better. In the process, I've learned even more about myself (in a good way.)

[BashfulScribe]

Enh. It's really difficult to truly capture and visualize another's characters. I don't think a lot of writers can pull it off. I certainly can't and that's why I'll never bother publishing a fan fiction here. Your exchange could be heavily critiqued by me given I have the unfair position of knowing the characters inside out. For example, Nicole wouldn't call May a 'ho' or fall for Phil's ploy to shift the focus to May. Adam would be too overwhelmed to give an angry outburst - I believe you yourself agreed that even the insult to Isaiah was out of character. Phil himself wouldn't use the mattress line. And this criticism is practically unfair to you - I control the characters. So imagining another's control over their characters, I wouldn't be able to do it justice. Hence why in my references to SiTO, I never included Jashley's actual characters - just references to them. Hell, I've voiced to Jashley's himself that I wasn't 100% on how Carson sounded when he put him in his story, and that was more my nitpicky self than his fault.

I'm sure the characters I made were inspired by something or another, and in loose ways I can pick up on some of them, but for the most part in my conscious imagination, these characters are my own, and I wouldn't dare try to write for someone else because I know how specific my characters are in my mind. I'm not saying you shouldn't, of course - it's just my two cents on the topic of writing with another person's characters.

[Joe Long]

The exchange was something that popped into my head as an example of everybody being pissed at everyone, not that it was something you would have written, so I apologize if I gave that impression. Meant it more as something humorous.

[Joe Long]

I love you man! I'm sorry

What I really appreciate from you guys' writing is the ability to convey the emotions and struggles of the characters, and you have a large stable of characters that get meaty roles.

I've always liked Nicole because she was so, deep, mysterious and complex. My heart goes out to her. She reminds me of an acquaintance who also is proudly sexually active (as a recent college graduate) but on the other hand does want commitment, and has been suffering lately for her inability to keep guys.

May has also reminded me of a girl or two that I pined for without success. I know what Adam was feeling.

Megan, however, I never made much of a connection to. Maybe that's just me, as in I can't think of anyone like that, or if I did know someone I might not like them personally - but she is still an interesting concept as a character. Maybe also I would spent more time with her if she wasn't sharing the stage with Nicole and May.

Edited July 8, 2015 by Joe Long

[BashfulScribe]

Again, no reason to be sorry! It was just my two cents. I wasn't offended or telling you not to do what you do or anything.

[BashfulScribe]

I've finished a first draft of a new series, chapter one. It'll have shorter but hopefully more frequent updates than BMS once I decide I'm content enough to release it. Once I do release it, it'll probably be after chapter 13 (which I'm working on) and it'll be on several websites, including the original website I left. Just figured I'd leave an update here. Chapter 13 is going slowly, as usual. Sorry for being so infrequent in updates.

[Joe Long]

If it's on the Site Which Shall Not Be Named, that means the new series has sex in it too? (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

[BashfulScribe]

Oh yes. Pretty much anything I write and publish under this name will be erotic, I think. Games excluded, just because my partner really wanted to use my name and 'fame' (because I'm clearly a big shot) to push demand.

[Joe Long]

Oh yes. Pretty much anything I write and publish under this name will be erotic, I think. Games excluded, just because my partner really wanted to use my name and 'fame' (because I'm clearly a big shot) to push demand.

so the game will be published under bashfulscribe?

Edited July 12, 2015 by Joe Long

[BashfulScribe]

Most likely not. I'll be credited as the lead writer though. The other guy is taking care of a lot of the other stuff.

[Guest Byakkou]

Hey!

One more guy following you here BS.

I'll start by saying that I loved your serie so far and I like to re-read it from the top once in a while.

I have a question for you guys, I didn't realized that Adam was so young... 14? I always thought he was like 16 or more. Anyway i'm not familiar with the US educational system so that explain that.

Hope to see more of your stories in the near future! And can't wait to see more of the Tsundere Nicole ;p

Bye

[BashfulScribe]

I don't claim to know much of anything about the American educational system. It seems I've gotten away with what I've written so far. I'm Canadian and don't know how much it really differs, but according to my story's canon, Adam is 14 when he enters high school. Just 14, in fact - I never said this in the story so far but his birthday is during the summer. I believe in the USA in grade 9 you'll either be 14 for the year if your birthday is in summer, 13 and 14 if your birthday is from September to December, or 14 and 15 if your birthday is from January to June.

As for the classes, I took a shot in the dark. I dunno what classes a grade 9 has to take in the USA and Google isn't a help. So I did science, math, English and drama for the first semester and geography/social studies, Spanish, history and gym for the second. Is it correct? No clue. I don't even know if you guys do eight courses like I did or if they alternate daily or something. Alternating daily would have also been confusing to monitor, so when in doubt, screw it. A district in MA liked Canada's education system and decided to mimic it. There. It's canon. I'm the author, I get to do that. (In all seriousness it may not be canon if I realize that this fucks up some stuff later on).

Hope this more-than-adequately answers your question!

[Joe Long]

I don't claim to know much of anything about the American educational system. It seems I've gotten away with what I've written so far. I'm Canadian and don't know how much it really differs, but according to my story's canon, Adam is 14 when he enters high school. Just 14, in fact - I never said this in the story so far but his birthday is during the summer. I believe in the USA in grade 9 you'll either be 14 for the year if your birthday is in summer, 13 and 14 if your birthday is from September to December, or 14 and 15 if your birthday is from January to June.

I think you've done fine. Some stories, IMO, tend to make the characters too old for their grade.

In Pennsylvania, I believe that each district can set their own age cut-offs, but AFAIK most every place use's September 1. If a student has already turned 14 on Sept. 1, they are on schedule to start 9th grade. At the start of the school year, near 100% of the 9th graders would be 14. By the end of 9th, roughly 75% would have already turned 15 during the 9 month school year. I was born in August and had just turned 17 as a HS senior, and 18 as a college freshman.

As BMS is nearing the end of the school year, Adam should be having his 15th birthday sometime soon, before the beginning of September.

Then's it's 15 to start 10th, 16 for 11th, and 17 for 12th. Some may have been held back a year at some point, and a very handful may be young for their age, especially if they transferred from a district with a different cut-off. A girl I knew in college didn't turn 18 until January of her freshman year.

[Guest Bill]

Bashful,I'm glad you have continued your story here. As for fault between Phil and May,I blame Phil. May maybe becoming a slut, but the difference between this encounter and the last party was May was involved with someone and didn't want to be labeled a cheater. Her boyfriend (baseball guy) broke up with her prior to the party. I don't see why she would lie. Phil doesn't know when to stop. He's the one to blame in my opinion. Mangfungus, dude really. Stab them in the eye? Like they say,"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye".

[Joe Long]

Mangfungus, dude really. Stab them in the eye? Like they say,"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye".

It was a gag!

magusfang is a special operator with a heart of gold. He'd kill you while smiling.

[Guest Bll]

Sorry Magusfang. AUTOCORRECT butchered my attempt to spell your name correctly. Joe, so you're saying Magusfang is just like Dexter. Bad deeds are justified if the person's intentions were good. End justifying the means. (I know he was only kidding). Right.......