clmustafic review reply and discussion

[CL Mustafic]

I hope that I do this right, this is my first post here in the forums so bear with me.

This is a thread for me to reply to my reviews, obviously but also for anyone that would like to holler at me for whatever reason.

If you wandered in here accidentally feel free to check out my stories, I have two posted right now. They are Loving Sarajevo which you can check out here >> http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107541 and Falling for Him which you can check out here http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107606 . Then you can come back and tell me what you thought.

Anyway, I'll probably be sitting here by myself so feel free to drop me a line.

[CL Mustafic]

Reviews for Loving Sarajevo:

Thanks to everyone that gave me their input on what you thought about the ending. I've been toying with the idea of a couple more chapters since I finished the story a month ago and began editing the last chapters. I just wasn't sure if readers would be interested in what happened next.

I could write forever about Gage and Nikola but at what point does it become annoying rather than entertaining? I guess that depends on the person but the general consensus is that there needs to be a little more so I think that I'll be posting the extra chapters that I have instead of the epilogue. They need some editing so it will be a few days before the next chapter is up.

And Lola, you'll be happy to know that I'm currently writing Garrett's story also so there's that to look forward to.

Thanks again for all of your encouragement, I'm glad that you're enjoying reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

[CL Mustafic]

Reviews for Falling for Him:

First let me say that I suck at this kind of thing so I'm just going to wing it. If you have questions or comments feel free to send them my way and I'll do my best to get back to you.

Second I'd like to thank you all for taking the time to read, rate and review this story. This one hasn't been planned out so it's just coming out the way it wants and I have no idea where it's going. I've got eighteen chapters so far and I'm still not sure how it's going to end.

To peabody, CyArsonix, Angel, Rui, Sephla, A, and Oo, thanks for the encouragement, glad you all are enjoying the story so far and hope you continue to do so.

To Lisa, Jo, Housewolf, Tnels, Tahn, FortunateM, and Lola, thanks for the ongoing support. I love reading your reactions to each chapter. I get a chuckle out of some of them.

I'd also like to say a special thanks to Lisa and Jo. I just read through my reviews from yesterday and noticed that you two smacked down the negative reviewer (who I'm choosing not to address here) for me. I can't tell you how that makes me feel, like all warm and fuzzy lol.

Though I love to hear about what people think I can improve and I don't even mind if someone just states that they don't really enjoy the story, it's a little disheartening to have someone say mean things with nothing to back them up. It's fine if you want to say my story is poorly written but then you should tell me where the problem areas are so that I can fix them, you know be constructive and all that jazz. So anyway, if you do find problems in the story please don't be afraid to point them out, I really do appreciate any feedback that is helpful and improves my work.

Thanks again all

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Reviews for Falling for Him Chapters 11 &12:

Okay this is gonna take a little bit because apparently I have some 'splaining to do...

First to Psy-Girl, Jo, peabody, Tnels and Tahn: Thanks again for you reviews, I really enjoy hearing from people who are invested in the story and are enjoying it. I didn't go into detail with all the threesomes because some people get squicked out when they have to read m/f/m in a m/m story. Maybe later I will edit and add a few since I've had requests for them. In my mind Lex and even Gavin are actually bisexual and they were originally part of another m/m/f story but i had a huge back story for them so I decided to write their story after I'd written half of the original story.

To MadamandRobin: Thank you for reading my story and leaving a review, I have read all of your stuff and I love it. I was totally squeeing when I saw that you read my story because it's really cool. I think yours was one of the first I ever read on AFF.

To Lisa: Thank you for your continued support, I love how enthusiastic your reviews are and look forward to reading them. To answer a couple of your questions: Lex and Gavin have only been in bed so far with a woman there, the threesomes were with a mix women that Lex knows that are in what he thinks of as the 'scene', Gavin's inability to say no to Tara is a confusing topic for him and you'll get more information on it in later chapters, hopefully I'll be able to convey those reasons clearly enough so that you'll understand why he is the way he is.

To EngagedTadpole: You hit the nail on the head. That was exactly how I felt when I wrote it, he felt he didn't have a choice. We know that he did obviously but why he didn't just use the fact that he was physically stronger to leave the situation was due to the fact that he a) was feeling pressured because he felt as a man confronted with the opportunity to have sex with a desirable woman it was what was expected of him (Riley made it clear what he thought would happen once they entered the house) and b) his previous relationship with Cassie (we'll see more of this later on in the story) had conditioned him to respond to a woman who is the aggressor when it comes to sex. Thank you for getting it, I know that I probably leave somethings up to my readers to infer and maybe I'll have to go back and edit it so that it's clearer to everyone that Gavin has suffered some sort of abuse in the past that makes him lack self confidence making it easy to take advantage of him.

To Housewolf: I love your flailing fangirl reviews, it makes my day to know that you really like the story but thanks for your more indepth review too. I also feel like my female characters aren't just the mold and press type, I try to give even my bit players a little bit of personality. Could I do a better job at that? Of course I could but I'm just an amateur at this whole writing thing (I never wrote more than a paper for college until October of 2014) and am learning as I go. Thank you also for understanding that I was trying not to be too heavy handed while writing about a sensitive subject. I feel like my readers are smart enough that I don't need to beat them over the head for them to get what's going on but on the other hand maybe I do need to make certain things more clear. I too believe that abuse against men by women is often ignored or the men in the situation are made to feel it's their fault because they are physically stronger and shouldn't be in that situation in the first place but just like blaming a woman's clothing for her getting raped, it's just plain wrong to assume that a man can't be victimized by a woman even if she uses no force to do it. The double standard is frankly frightening.

Now since the next review is gonna take some space go to the next post please...

Edited March 15, 2015 by CL Mustafic

[CL Mustafic]

Jane Doe 2015-03-13 id # 3000225279 Meh, I had a bit of a hard time reading these last chapters. At first I liked the pacing between Lex and Gavin, which is slow and relaxed with the right amount of tension. But along the way Gavin became an annoying little douche. He's like complete doormat who can't say no; that's why he lets his ex-wife, Tara, and even Lex and Riley walk all over him.

I also began to highly dislike the way the women are portrayed in this story. It's like all of them are either psycho b!tches, hoes (or god forbid - both!!), or overly opinionated and and unable to keep their nose out of other people's business. The sad thing is that this sort of misogyny happens much too often in gay fiction, and even sadder is that 50% of the time the author of such misogynistic crap is a woman herself. I wonder, is it really so difficult to portray women?

Lastly, despite that you attempted to demonize Tara by making her a clingy hoe type, who supposedly sexually assaulted Gavin, I can't really fault her, because Gavin hadn't said 'no' nor made any attempt to push her away or otherwise let her know he was unwilling. Of course, some people don't say 'no' because they are afraid, but Gavin showed no indication of being scared of Tara at all during the entire act, he only seemed bored of her. Sexual assault happens in situations of power imbalance; one character is physically stronger, has social or financial power over the other, or is emotionally manipulative over the other. Tara is none of that. As an ordinary woman she isn't physically stronger than a tall man like Gavin. She has no social or financial power over Gavin as a mere colleague, and in fact, I think Gavin has a stronger social position than she does as a doctor. Since she is hardly close enough to Gavin to be described as a friend (she comes off more as an acquaintance), there's no way she is able to emotionally manipulate Gavin to any extend like his ex-wife did. In short, Gavin has no reason to fear her, and he wasn't afraid of her, he just has this inability to say 'no' and that's really his own fault.

I'll continue to read this story, because I did like the start; and I hope Gavin will 'grow some balls' as the saying goes and defend himself, and that Lex will 'man up' and be more honest to Gavin about his feelings too.

Jane Doe: I'm not going to try to defend myself in this case because I think that you have some valid points here but I would like to explain how people's perception of certain things can color how they perceive what they read.

First let me address the accusation of misogyny, I really try to make the characters in my stories feel like real people and as we all know there are many different types of women in the world. The ones we tend to notice are usually not the quiet, going about her business types and to that end those are not the type of women that get commented upon. I think Sheila is the perfect example of what I would like in a friend, yes she's opinionated but hell who has a best friend that isn't? She's fun to be around and she's there for Gavin when he needs her. I'm having a hard time figuring out how she is being portrayed in a misogynistic light. Again I also don't get it with Lex's mom, she's a mom and from an older generation so her views on female sexuality are of course more conservative than those of younger generations but what I've tried to do with her is convey her love and acceptance of her son and I feel like that comes through to some degree. As for Becca and Rachel, they are strong women who know what they want, if them wanting two men in their bed and not being ashamed of the fact that they feel free to act on that is misogynistic then I guess there's really no way that you can write a character like that without being accused of a crime. It was never my intention for them to come across as anything other than what they were, yes they were just there for sex but at no point were they called or made to feel like they were 'slutty hoes' or 'psycho bitches'.

Cassie is another story and maybe I was too subtle about some of the things she did to Gavin but I really didn't want to beat the readers over the head by coming out and saying that she emotionally and occasionally verbally abused Gavin throughout their marriage. You'll get to see more of her personality and also hear a bit more about their marriage in later chapters so I'm hoping that you'll understand why Gavin is the way he is and how Cassie helped to make him that way. I understand that spousal abuse against the male partner isn't as prevalent as it is against the weaker female partner but it does happen and it is just as detrimental to an abused man as it is to his female counterpart. I have a feeling that if this story had a female lead you wouldn't be feeling that she was 'an annoying little douche' because she had issues that stemmed from an abusive marriage and her abusive and psycho ex-husband would get none of your concern about how he was portrayed. To me that's just sad because we should be outraged at any type of abuse no matter what the sex of the person because we're all human beings and as such deserve to be treated accordingly.

So Tara, I apoligise for Tara really I do. I just want to point out a couple of things before I get into the whole 'sexual assault' in Tara's part of the story. I never described her as a bimbo just for the record. What you are getting is other characters thoughts of her. Now tell me the truth, you've never been at a party or bar and saw a girl that was acting overly flirtatious or maybe a little slutty in your opinion and you never said to someone something derogatory about that person? Come on we've all done it, it doesn't make it right but it's a fact of life and that's why I let Karen comment on it. Lex's thoughts on Tara stem from the fact that she's after the man he wants, to him any woman or man for that matter, that takes an interest in Gavin is not going to be thought of kindly by him. I already mentioned why Lex's mom would be put off by Tara's antics.

As for Tara's part in the 'sexual assault', I really didn't expect this type of backlash. I didn't mean to demonize her at all. I feel like Tara really didn't know that she had stepped over that line, she was drunk and probably thinks, like a lot of women, that it's pretty much impossible to force a man to have sex. I'm not going to put the blame on Gavin and it's probably a gray area to some people but again I think it's all in the person's perception of the events. I do have to say that just because he didn't tell her no, it doesn't mean he agreed and as to your last review about nobody actually asks their partner if they want to have sex: if the person you were with wasn't responding to you wouldn't you at least pull back and ask if something was wrong? To Tara, she did nothing wrong but for Gavin it was something that he didn't want but because his previous experience colored the scene, he had no choice in the matter. It's really complicated because he felt pressure to be a man and do what was expected of him but also he has these feelings for Lex that he hasn't really been able to figure out. Afterwards he just knows that he needs something from Lex but he's unsure of what it is and is unable to express that need. I don't think that Gavin even grasps that he was taken advantage of, he just knows that he doesn't feel right about the whole thing.

I think it's pretty telling that even Lex, who's trained to spot abuse, takes a while to figure out what had happened. He even admits that it's because Gavin is a guy that he hadn't seen the signs earlier. Though it's sad these things do happen and men are usually too ashamed to admit that the sex wasn't 100% consensual so they lie even to themselves because they don't want to feel like they are less of a man. That's on us, because as a society as much as we tell women that it's their right to say no and that once they say it it's rape if the guy continues, we tell boys and young men that they should want to have sex whenever the opportunity presents itself and if they don't then obviously there's something wrong with them. As the mother of four boys, two being teenagers, I have confronted this problem. I have made sure that my boys know that no means no but also that they have a choice too and if they don't choose to have sex it doesn't make them any less of a man.

Anyway, I'm sorry if you hated the last few chapters and I totally get that because they were not my favorite chapters to write. I'll tell you this though, I don't plan out my stories, I sit down and start typing and what comes out is sometimes a total surprise to me too. Maybe I need a beta to read through so that they can tell me when I'm totally off the rails. Thanks for your review, if it had been worded a little different I'd have taken it as constructive criticism at it's finest but I guess I was left feeling like you just thought I'm some kind of stupid chick that hates womankind which is totally off base. I hope that you start enjoying the story again in the next few chapters.

[Guest Housewolf]

I don't feel like I have too much more to add to this conversation, but a few thoughts have crossed my mind:

• Prior to Tara, there were at least two highly-sexed and forward female characters, and they weren't described in a negative light. The difference is that Tara wasn't listening to the social and physical clues that her behaviour was out-of-place and unwanted. She was trophy-hunting rather than looking for mutual physical pleasure. She was at a relatively quiet gathering of family, friends, and colleagues, rather than at a bar. She's not a demon, but she did a Bad Thing.
• I really thought that Gavin's history of abuse was laid out well. Lots of clues, not an info-dump, etc. I've been wondering why other people might not have figured it out, and here's what I came up:
  • Gavin is not very introspective, so he doesn't spend a lot of time analyzing his feelings and thinking about how people treat him/have treated him in the past.
  • Gavin is very resilient! His ability to bounce back could seem like he's just brushing everything off and things don't bother him.
  • Gavin is male. Unfortunately, it's harder for many people to pick up clues about a man being abused, especially by a woman.
  • Maybe it doesn't really matter. It's impossible to guarantee that all your readers will reach the same conclusions at the same time. You lay out the clues, some people see it, some don't. Some people will be surprised later, some won't. If anybody goes back looking for foreshadowing, they'll find it.

So, yep. It's fascinating how different people can interpret a single piece of writing. I didn't feel like clues were lacking, but that's just me. If you do go back and edit in more, please let us know! I wouldn't mind doing a reread to see the additions.

-Housewolf

P.S. I'm glad you enjoy reviews! I figure reviewing is the least I can do, since you write these kind of amazing stories and then post them for FREE? Like, whoa, how did we get so lucky?!

[Guest Guest]

@ CL Mustafic: I would first like to correct what I find a faulty perception here; writing women who are dislikeable does NOT automatically make the story misogynistic, and positive portrayals of women does NOT equate to a feminist writing. It may help a bit, but the only way you can really write about female characters is by simply writing about them; that is to say, devote more pages to them and flesh out their characters.

I think the main reason the story came off as misogynistic to me is because all female characters come off as one note characters. Sheila is the overly opinionated best friend, who may be likable, but what else is she? What is her relationships with Gavin normally like? Perhaps you could try to devote an entire page to one-on-one interaction between Sheila and Gavin without interruption from other characters; it will help to flesh BOTH of them out more.

Same goes for mom, she is only "Lex's mom", but what else is she? And as you said, Becca and Rachel are only there for sex, so that automatically makes them come off as flat sex doll characters, who the reader knows very little about. Tara is the same; we don't knoiw anything except that she has sex with Gavin, but he didn't really want it.

Perhaps the character most guilty of this is Cassie. She comes off as psycho bitch and cheating hoe, but she could've been a so much more interesting and round character. You say she was abusive during the relationship, but WHY was she abusive? Did she have parents who abused her first, or did they abuse each other and she learned by copying them? Maybe she had a prior abusive relationship and is retaliating? Maybe she has PTSD and is lashing out? Some traumatic past? And what about her cheating; why did she do that? All questions that get no answer in this fic, and the main reason she comes off as a very misogynistic portrayal of women.

You say that Tara did nothing wrong, but considering the tone of your story thus far, I felt that the blame WAS put on her shoulders and defended her accordingly. The way I see the situation between her and Gavin, they were both equally as guilty. She for being too drunk to see or care about Gavin's extreme lack of enthusiasm, and he for not expressing himself well enough (or at all). The result was tragic, if we're going to put blame, then let's do it honestly or else not at all, mmmhkay?

I know that men being raped or sexually assaulted is a poorly lit subject, but speaking as a minority myself, who knows well what it's like to be overlooked or discriminated against, I have to say that curling up into a ball and crying over it has never helped before. What Gavin sorely needs to learn is to stand up for himself, because others (even Lex) can't always be there to save him/help him out.

[Guest Jane Doe]

Addendum: By the way, I applaud you for teaching your sons that they can say 'no' if they don't want sex, that's great! Respect for the other starts by knowledge and respecting for the self first!

[CL Mustafic]

@Jane Doe, I respect your opinions on fleshing out the female characters, I have a hard time with doing too much of that because then the story would lose it's focus. The story is not about poor Cassie and why she turned out the way she did. People may not like that but it's the way it is. I'm sure that if you read other stories where abuse has taken place you'll find that very little mention is made of the abuser and the reasons why they abuse and I'm talking through all genres not just this one. The only exception being when the main focus is actually on the abuse, which I was not trying to do here.

I guess I'm not sure what you expect. The story has two MCs and therefore it revolves around them, I don't devote extra time to fleshing out Riley so I'm not sure why I should do it for Sheila because she's a woman. Riley gets more time because he has more interactions with Gavin than Sheila does. If I was writing a story about Gavin's friendships with the people around him then I guess I could see making his friends more well rounded. Also as I stated above, I'm new to writing and maybe when I've got a little more experience under my belt I'll feel differently about it and look back and go WTF was I thinking.

As for Cassie, she actually does play more of a part in the story, you haven't seen the last of her. The events that led up to the divorce will come to light eventually but you'll never get an explanation of why she abused Gavin because that would be her story not his.

I'd really like to thank you for reading and actually having thought about what I've written. Even if your opinion isn't an altogether good one(I'm not saying your opinion sucks I mean that your opinion of the story, that it sucks, uggh no that's not right either, I mean that the story sucks? whatever, I hope you get what I mean), it's nice to know that it at least provoked some sort of emotion in people, hell even anger is better than apathy.

[Guest Jane Doe]

Lol, I suppose I'm expecting too much from an online romance fic, as you're obviously not aiming to be the next literary break through, but I was simply voicing my opinion on what caught my attention. I personally felt that Riley was also a lacking character, but because it appeared to me that the overtone of your story is not of misandry but misogyny, I called attention to that, and left Riley to the side.

I understand that the main characters are Gavin and Lex, and they should be the main focus, but that doesn't necessarily have to be to the exclusion of fleshing out the side characters.

Consider, for example, a completely different kind of story: Harry Potter. The main character is Harry and the main story is Harry beats Voldemort in a battle of good and evil. But this does not mean that all focus is on Harry Potter to the exclusion of all else. Side characters like Snape, Draco, Dumbledore and Hagrid get a good amount of attention. Even evil characters like Voldemort and Bellatrix get to spend adequate amount of time on the pages to become more than one note characters, and thereby memorable.

Even Game of Thrones does this right. Some of the things in that story are so misogynistic, it makes you want to puke. However, despite that, it still has some really awesome and memorable female characters that make a reader willing to look beyond it.

Of course, you're not J. K. Rowling or G. R. R. Martin and not writing fantasy, nor are you likely going to churn out seven books in the near future. Still, I think a romance novel can equally benefit from memorable side characters and antagonists, but the only way to accomplish that is to flesh them out.

[Guest Jane Doe]

I'd really like to thank you for reading and actually having thought about what I've written. Even if your opinion isn't an altogether good one(I'm not saying your opinion sucks I mean that your opinion of the story, that it sucks, uggh no that's not right either, I mean that the story sucks? whatever, I hope you get what I mean), it's nice to know that it at least provoked some sort of emotion in people, hell even anger is better than apathy.

Lol, maybe you mean "not an altogether positive one"?

By the way, don't take my words too closely to heart. I'm not telling you to quit writing; in fact, I encourage you to write more and improve! The main reason I told you about what I felt was not so good about the story was so that it will help you write even better. You know what they say about the harshest critics; they want you to excel!

[CL Mustafic]

I just have to say quickly that even though I know I'm going to get trounced, I hated Harry Potter (I like the Percy Jackson series much better btw) and quit reading after the first book. I do have to hand it to J K Rowling for getting kids excited about reading even if I didn't find them all that great. I've also never read or watched Game of Thorns. Most fantasy books just are not my cup of tea though I did read the Lord of the Rings trilogy and loved it for reasons that are beyond me.

Also yeah, free online romance can be like a roll of the dice, some are fantastic, some are good and some are utter crap, I'm just aiming for not being totally craptastic. So far I think that the story isn't so bad that it would want to make someone rip their eyes out rather than read it, I may be wrong about that but I haven't had any reports of my readers maiming themselves yet. Keeping my fingers crossed as always on that one.

Anywhoo...So on to reviews. Once again I'd like to thank everyone that rated and reviewed because it really does help with motivation.

Lisa: Seriously, I <3 your reviews. I'm glad that you like Jean, I was worried that people would think I included too much of her in the story but I really wanted to show where Lex gets some of his finer characteristics and also how he's always been a caretaker type, which makes him good for Gavin because let's face it; Gavin needs someone that can help him lift himself up instead of holding him down.

FortunateM: Thanks for you review, Lex is one of those guys that just can't give up and yes he had people pushing him to finally get everything out in the open.

Jo, peabody, Angel, Anon, Sabrina, Azisa, itsme, Tahn, and Fiona: Thanks, I'm glad you all are enjoying it. Also you were warned at the beginning that this was going to be a slow burner but buck up the next couple of chapters are going to change everything.

Housewolf: Thanks again for your kind words and great reviews. Lex was really trying to have a normal friendship with Gavin. He introduced him to his friends because he wanted to make him apart of his circle (of course the fact that they acted as a buffer didn't hurt either) so he did have good intentions. As for his little disappearance act, he was truly busy for the first three weeks and you'll find out later what he was doing. As for fishing, everyone in Minnesota fishes geesh but don't worry, I won't make him go hunting, that would really be out of character for him I think.

Lynz: Thanks for your review, I'm so glad you enjoy the characters in the story. I once had someone tell me, not as a compliment, that they were too self aware and that it was hard to remember that they were just characters and not real people. As for the story being cliche, oh well sometimes you can take a cliche and make it work, sometimes not. I guess that's up to the readers to decide. Hope you continue to like what you read.

So that's it for review replies, I know you all have been very patiently waiting for those two boneheads to figure it out and start jumping each other's bones and I'm happy to say you don't have to wait much longer. Chapter 14 is up if you haven't found it already and Chapter 15 should go up sometime tomorrow...until then happy reading.

[CL Mustafic]

*should be Game of Thrones, uggh forget one little letter and people will think you're an idiot. (which I am because I can't figure out how to edit my post either)

[CL Mustafic]

Review replies for Falling for Him Chapter 15

Psy-girl: I think this is probably a review I missed for chap 14 but I didn’t want to leave it out. Sorry, I’m not trying to tease you, check out chap 15

Rukia Isaioi: Also from chap 14, Yes, Lex is going really slow with Gavin because he can tell that the doc is skittish. Read chap 15 for the reply to the rest of your review.

Kew: Ahh thanks, you’re awesome for leaving such a nice review! I’m glad you’re enjoying the story.

Jo (1^st review): I did but only because you asked so nicely.

Than: Yes it was about time for them to stop being boneheads, I agree wholeheartedly!

FortunateM: Thanks for your review. I’m always happy when people get the dynamic I’m going for in the relationships. Gavin will hopefully prove that he is in fact not a ‘shrinking violet’ at some point. Some people just need the love of a good man to help them flourish. Thanks for your continued support.

Peabody: Glad you thought it was sweet, sorry about the lack of sex but I’m trying for something a little bit more than porn. (Ah who am I kidding check out the next chapter)

Housewolf: Yes they did finally figure out they were on the same page. Obviously there will be bumps along the way to their happily ever after. Thanks for your continued support.

Hazel: I’m glad you’re enjoying both my stories and never fear, I never abandon my stories. Your review did kick my butt in gear and I’ve almost got the next chap of Loving Sarajevo ready too!

Lisa: Chap 14 review: I love your reviews they’re always enthusiastic and a joy to read. Stop booing poor Gavin, he is just misunderstood.

Jo (2^nd review): Yay, thank you for reading the review replies…of course I appreciate my readers, I love you guys! Without all of you letting me know that you’re actually reading the story and enjoying it (mostly) there would be no reason for me to write it. When I posted my first story I almost gave up because it didn’t seem like anyone was enjoying it enough to tell me except of course FortunateM and Zas, they were what kept me posting because even writing for one person’s enjoyment is enough for me. I’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter and I’m considering posting a couple of the threesomes that I cut…stay tuned.

Aduial: I’m glad you like the story and the characters, like I said before I’m really trying to make the story interesting and have a plot, not just porn…so good to know that it’s somewhat engaging.

Lisa: Yes they are and it’s about time.

So that’s about it. Thanks so much to everyone that rates and reviews and also to the people that just read but are too shy to review, I’ve been there myself but I know you’re there and I appreciate you too.

Chapter 16 is going up now!

[CL Mustafic]

Review replies for Loving Sarajevo Chapter 22

Thanks everyone for the great response Ive gotten for this story so far. I havent done replies for this up until now so just know that I appreciate all the reviews and also all of the opinions on my thoughts about ending it where Id thought to at first. Im hoping the additional chapters will make the story feel more complete. Though I get that its my story and I can do what I want with it, I really hate the thought of leaving my readers feeling dissatisfied with the ending.

Hazel: Like I said it was your prodding that spurred me to finally get to editing this chapter so thanks for that little kick in the butt I needed. Im glad youre enjoying the story, I always love hearing that.

Kew: Glad I could make you happy. Im going to try not to take so long to update again.

Peabody: Thanks, glad you liked it. The other stories are still being edited and I dont want to overrun the site with my jabbering too much. Maybe when I finish one of the ones Im posting now Ill add one of the others.

FortunateM: Great review as always. Im glad that you still enjoy the story.

Than: I know right Hana is the bomb. I think his family will have to come around eventually

Housewolf: Im so glad you like them, I know that some people cant get over the fact that theyre both manly men but I think its hot. LOL Youre so gonna hate Lucas when you see what he does next. Gages family well youll see

Alasdair-you: Thanks for your review. I know that most people have a love for that dynamic and I have my theories on that but I wont bore you with them. Im glad that you took the time to read this even though its not your cup of tea and are enjoying it. Its nice to know that sometimes things work out better than you hoped for.

Jo: Im sorry you didnt like the last chapter, it was kind of a transitional chapter from Gage and Nikolas first brush with love to back out in the real world so thats always a hard pivotal point to write. I dont get some peoples parents either. Its hard for me to write because my parents are excepting to a fault and I as a parent try to be. I cant imagine turning my child away for simply loving someone. But youre right, Nikola will make the right decision because he knows that love is precious and not something you let go of easily.

Vidalhbea: Thanks for giving my story a chance even though its not what you usually read, Im glad you enjoyed it.

Well thats it for now. Chapter 23 is going up now so I look forward to hearing from you all again and happy reading.

CL

Edited March 24, 2015 by CL Mustafic

[CL Mustafic]

Review Replies for Falling for Him Chapter 16

Well hello there again shall we just get started then…

Housewolf: You’re right he is a cute drunk, for some reason he just struck me as the type that would be fun to be around when he was a little tipsy. Plus he needed a little liquid courage to get what he wanted. And no you don’t have to wait a year, I’m not sure Lex will ever need to announce it quite so bluntly but yeah if it takes me a year to get to that point then kick me please!

Lavi1443: Thanks, I’m really glad you like it and think it’s both realistic and hot, that’s sorta what I was going for.

Rukia Isaioi: I know, fluffy cuddles rock, right? Glad you like it.

CloverReef: I know your review was for chapts 1 & 2 but well, you know how it is. I’m glad you like the characters, I’m trying to put characters out there that actually could be real people you know? Oh well it’s harder than it sounds as I’m sure you know. And yes, Gavin’s ex is a piece of work… Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Azsia: Awww, I’m so happy it made you happy. The road ahead will be bumpy but you know what they say love will find a way. (I <3 cliches by the way)

Lisa: Well I guess Lex is a little like Rabbit in some ways, where Gavin is more like Tigger you know. Rabbit has to worry and fuss and Tigger just bounces along no matter what happens to him (or he causes). LOL I love me some Winnie the Pooh. I really like a drunk Gavin too, makes me want to make him an alcoholic but that would be mean. The love yous will come in time, even if they both think it you know how guys are I think Riley and Sheila already have an inkling of what’s going on Thanks for sticking with me and I still get a kick out of your reviews every time I read them.

Psy-girl: Oh poo, how can you think that about Lex. Well I’m sure that there’s gonna be something he does at some point that maybe….I’m not telling! Thanks for the review.

Tnels: I’m glad you’re still enjoying it. Everyone says that the ending is so ominous…I didn’t mean for it to be but maybe a little, but not right away. They do get to be happy for a little bit, I promise.

FortunateM: I like that you get it. I think it’s funny that Lex letting Gavin guide them when he is so obviously lost is hilariously sad. I think it tells a lot about Lex’s own insecurities and also his fear of losing those he loves. If he just took the reins things would go much smoother in some ways. Thanks again for your insightful review.

Cecilia: Wow thanks so much, it means a lot when people let me know they’re there and liking what they’re reading. Don’t be shy every writer likes to hear from their readers and I’m glad to know that you felt strongly enough about the story to pop in and let me know.

Vidalhbea: Yay, glad you’re liking it so much. I know real life meh… Thanks for reviewing.

Tahn: I’m glad you found it! Yes…trouble uggh I hate drama, don’t you? (just kidding what good would a love story be without drama!)

Fiona: You’re welcome very much and thank you very much for letting me know you like the story.

CloverReef: Once again you’re behind the crowd LOL. I’m glad you’re still reading and thanks for the props on the style, what did you call it minimalistic? LOL whatever. I think the world cringed at that threesome, it should go in the books as the world’s most awkward, glad it came off the way I wanted it too. Thanks for taking the time to review, I’ve done them on my kindle too and yeah, autocorrect can make you sound like an idiot sometimes, damn machines!

Okay so that’s all for now, thanks for reading, rating and reviewing, you guys are the best! Going to go post Chapter 17 dun dun dun….

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Reviews for Loving Sarajevo Chapter 23

Once again thanks to everyone that read the chapter and those of you that rated and reviewed. I know I keep saying this but since I don’t get paid for writing, your reviews and rates are what keeps me doing it. So thank you all so much for taking the time to do it.

Okay so review replies for Chapter 23 (23 chapters OMG can you believe there’s that many already, yikes!)

Kew: I know, the anticipation is killing me too. Glad I have the inside scoop. Thanks for reviewing.

Hideandgoseek: I saw that you found me, it was the most notifications I’ve gotten since I first started posting Falling for Him. It’s funny that you didn’t put two and two together sooner but I’m glad that you were enjoying all the stories even without knowing that they were all mine. Pay more attention in class from now on, you only get one chance to get a good education…my mommy side sorry.

Alasdair-you: Aww, I’m glad you like Hana, I’m trying to keep her from being too cute because that can get annoying. Lucas, what the heck can I say, he is sort of a brat but I don’t think he’s trying to be a jerk…

Vidalhbea: I’m really glad you liked the chapter. Gage’s parents are good people and Nikola is good for their son, they’ll figure it out sooner or later.

Tahn: I took the advice of my readers, the story was sort of abrupt at the end. I just hope I can come to a satisfying conclusion without over staying my welcome. I’m glad your liking the characters and the story.

FortunateM: Nikola is just tasty, I live in a country of dark haired, dark eyed, manly men, he is what I see every morning when I wake up so I just had to share him with the rest of the world Lucas has issues, let’s just leave it at that. I don’t want to spoil the next chapter… Thanks again for reviewing, I love reading your reviews.

Okay so that’s all for now, Chapter 24 is going up now so check it out and let me know what you think.

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Review Replies for Falling For Him Chapter 17

Okay, so this story is rolling right along…I hope everyone is still enjoying it and I’m really trying not to put too much drama in there but damn Cassie just had to pop her head back in to say HELLO! (insert evil laugh here)

So thanks to everyone that reads, rates and reviews. I love to read the reactions some of you have after the chapters come out. I’ll keep trying to keep you guessing. On to the replies…

Peabody: Of course she’s back, she’s like a bad rash. I’m glad you like Riley, he’s one of my favorite characters to write. Too bad he’s straight or I would give him his own story.

Tahn: I know right, Lex is right she doesn’t deserve crap from the doc but you know how the doc is…

Rukia Isaioi: I know there’s a lot of drama but Lex kind of knew what he was getting into when he got involved with the doc so, well I can’t feel too bad for him.

Vidalhbea: Um, yep Cassie is…I can’t tell you, it’ll ruin the next chapter. Sorry

FortunateM: I’m glad you like Lex and Gavin, they’re almost too sweet sometimes for me and when I get done with a chapter I’m like really guys do you gotta be so cute? Urrgh bugs me how they insist on the things they do. I think Gavin really just doesn’t know how to lie, it’s not his nature to be deceitful so that’s a plus for him and yeah it’s probably refreshing for Lex to not have to deal with it at home as well as at work. The thing with Cassie will be resolved in the next chapter

Aduial: They are cute, maybe, possibly too cute sometimes Like I said the Cassie situation will come to a head in the next chapter…for now. That’s all I’m saying.

CloverReef: Thanks for the review, I know that reviewing on the kindle can be a pain, done it myself and been bit in the butt, no worries. I’m glad the characters come across the way I intend for them too. People are not always nice or perfect and Grady is actually somewhat like a cop friend I once had, he was so immature I wondered how anyone would let him carry a gun. LOL

Lisa: Aww thanks, I like Riley too, he’s kind of the comic relief. Everything is always so serious for Gavin, he needs someone to lighten the mood and Riley takes that job seriously. Yeah, I’m not sure if Gavin remembers Cassie exactly as she was, he’s a bit of a bonehead when it comes to her.

Fiona: You’re welcome again. I’m glad you’re still enjoying the story. Thanks for the review to let me know you’re there!

Housewolf: Yes it is and I’m glad that Gavin is that kind of guy and I’m sure Lex appreciates it too even if it wasn’t something he wants to hear. I know which half of your brain is right…so will you in the next chapter Thanks for the review.

Okay that’s all for now, Chapter 18 is going up today…pretty soon.

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Reviews for Loving Sarajevo Chapter 24

It’s once again that time. I just want to thank everyone that reads, rates and reviews. I guess unless you’ve written and posted something yourselves you can’t really imagine how great it is to know that there are people out there reading what you’ve written. The fact that you guys are enjoying the story is just icing on the cake.

So any way here’s an update on how the story is coming along. I’m posting chapter 25 today and that leaves only one more chapter and then the epilogue. I have both written and am just doing some fine tuning on them. I hope that this will be a satisfying ending for all of those that have been following this story.

On a related note, I’ve started writing Garrett’s story and Nikola and Gage will play a pivotal role in his finding happiness. So you’ll get to see them again…

On another note not quite so related, after I’m done posting Loving Sarajevo I’ll start posting another story I’ve been working on. It’s one of my favorites and I hope it will be as well received as the others I’ve posted.

So without further ado, the replies:

Kew: I’m sorry for the wait, I’m trying really I am…glad you liked the last chapter.

Vidalbea: OMG I know, never would I have guessed that JJ was getting some on the down low. Yes, I think Gage was justified in punching him too. Thanks for the review.

Housewolf: I told you! Can you imagine poor Vicky, she needs to kick JJ in the balls, too bad his dad picked him up off the floor before she got there. (I’m not advocating violence and Vicky is much more understanding than I am, just saying). I think without the snake speaking directly in their ears they can be more objective and Gage’s parents really do love him. I love, love, love Payne his and Matt’s story was actually the first one I ever wrote but it’s so bad that it needs a major rewrite to be fit for public consumption. I’ll shut up now, I could go on forever. Thanks for the review, loved it as always!

FortunateM: It sort of surprised me too. I thought he was pissed because his cousin was with Lucas and Gage, no matter what he says to the contrary, had some sort of deep feelings for him. But really what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend his lover, who’s far more important to him than either Lucas or JJ.

Tahn: I know Gage is a sweetheart and his family loves him. It will work out in the end…

Magusfang: OMG what are you doing reading a M/M story. Are your eyes okay? At least there wasn’t any naughty bits in the first chapter. And how exactly is anything I said about guys who drive pick em up trucks offensive? You should try out my other story, there’s no guy on guy action for most of it but there are a couple of m/f/m threesomes Thanks, it’s Minimalistic, that’s what I’m calling my writing style! I’m on chapter 19 of Boy in the Grass, it’s interesting so far…

Alasdair-you: Nope, Gage is a hothead most of the times and nobody talks to his man like that apparently. Bet his family is careful of what they say in the future. I’m the same way with my kids, if they don’t like you then, well then there must be something wrong with you. LOL Thanks for the review.

South wind: Well hello there, you’re new here aren’t you? Welcome, to the place where I ramble on about fictional characters as if they were real people. So if you knew why didn’t you tell me?? I was freaking surprised when the door swung open and there they were, I wanted to kick both of them. Uggh sometimes I wish they’d tell me what they were up to, oh well keeps life interesting. Thanks for the review!

Alrighty then, that’s all for that chapter. Chapter 25 is going up…

Edited March 31, 2015 by CL Mustafic

[CL Mustafic]

This isn't a review reply but a request for a kind of beta reader, I only need one or two so the first couple people who are interested will get the job. LOL

So here's what I'm looking for:

I have an original story that I'm 10 chapters into that has three MCs. I've been considering splitting it into three sections each from a different one of the MC's pov.

I need someone to read the first 10 chapters-in one character's pov and then the first one, possibly a second one, that I have written in the second character's pov and tell me if it flows okay or if I should just stick to the first MC's pov throughout. (Chapters run between 4k-5k)

I'm not looking for someone to edit or proofread the story so please if that's not your forte don't worry.

I would like someone that is familiar with the genre and that will give me an honest opinion on what they think, so if you enjoy m/m slash all the better.

Here's a brief description of the story:

Shane's pretty sure he's straight which is why he's kinda freaked out when his new teammate, Zeb, catches his attention with more than just his dives. Justin is Shane's best friend, he's got a secret that he's kept for a long time he thinks maybe Shane's finally ready to hear it. Zeb's past keeps him from forming attachments to anyone. What happens when the three come together?

Warnings: Obviously it will contain man on man action, though it's not too bad in the chapters that I'd like read and those scenes are pretty vanilla. There's a sexual assault, also not graphic and mentions of abuse to one of the main characters but no actual depiction of the abuse. I can't think of anything else that would be objectionable.

Any other questions feel free to ask here or PM me, also my email address is bangbangramallama@gmail.com anyone can drop me a line there also.

Thanks

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Review Replies for Falling For Him Chapter 18

Once again thanks to everyone who’s reading along with me. A big extra special thanks to those that rate and review, I appreciate everyone of them.

Still a little way to go on this story but building up to some big drama so hope you all don’t mind too much.

So on with the replies :

Tahn: I’m so glad you were happy to see the update but I’m sure that everyone was happy you didn’t wake them up. Yeah I’m not sure how people can have normal families and still turn out crazy and yes she will probably hurt someone eventually…

ForutnateM: Yes, Cassie is a manipulative person to be sure and I think Lex’s acceptance of Gavin’s quirks is just what Gavin needs to get his confidence back. Gavin is talented in many ways

Rukia Isaioi: I’m sure if your friend Cassie was like this Cassie she wouldn’t be your friend so don’t feel too conflicted about it. I don’t think Gavin’s secret is that bad either, you know him he’s a little bit of a drama queen sometimes and I think Cassie exploits that too. Explanation upcoming…

Psy-girl: Can’t agree more, she still is.

Housewolf: Thanks, glad you liked the chapter. Yes it’s about time that Gavin steps it up a little but he’s not too confident in himself you know? Yeah Cassie is not my favorite person either and she can get worse believe it or not…

Kew: I’m glad I can make you happy every few day. Thanks for the review.

Tnels: I know, Gavin can get his freak on when he wants to. Ah Cassie, yep she’s something. I think his secret isn’t going to be that bad…

Aduial: Yep you know what they say and a leopard and it’s spots. Poor doc, everyone wants to know his secret, geez can’t a guy get any privacy…No he can’t.

Jo: I think you hit the nail on the head with him. Emotional abuse can be hard to spot especially by the person suffering it. They perceive how they are treated as normal or something they think they deserve. I think if you asked Gavin he wouldn’t say he was in an abusive relationship. I love Lex too.

Lisa: Oh yeah you were the one that said the leopard thing and you were right. Gavin’s parents will make an appearance soon.

Okay so that’s all for today…on to Chapter 19

Thanks again!

CL

[magusfang]

So gonna leave my reviews here, since I basically read them in one sitting, was sick of writing.

LS

I liked your MC, thought Gage folded a little quick but it really wasn't dom/sub since you see his alpha side all through the story. Actually liked the story it was well written and a good amount of humor so the angst din't drag it into a teen age weepfest. But I gotta tell ya, it quickly turned into the Hana show, I found myself looking forward to her next appearance, she totally stole the story...but in a good way.

FFH

Ok first a loy of Gavin haters out there. If you didn't see him as a weak personality from the start, you weren't paying attention; and as for oblivious, I think its more that he can't read people. I see his character as a mild Asperger's Syndrome persona; very smart but with poor interpersonal skill and very low self esteem and confidence. Add to that he is just realizing his own sexual orientation; yeah he's gonne freak easily, question himself constantly, and be unable to defend him self

eh, just my two cents

oh, and i found the ikea porn LOL

Edited April 3, 2015 by magusfang

[CL Mustafic]

@magusfang: Thanks for your two cents, now I have exactly...two cents LOL. I know Hana is adorable and that's why I had to limit her involvement in the story because she just takes over...you know what they say, never work with animals or children.

Thank you, you nailed Gavin's (well not really cuz Lex would beat you down) character. I guess I thought it was pretty evident from the beginning that he was not the most confident man in the world.

Feel free to put in your two cents whenever you like.

I wrote that before you came up with IKEA porn by the way so I'm totally taking credit for it.

Review Replies for Loving Sarajevo Chapter 25

Thanks once again to everyone that reads, rates and reviews.

I'm a little short on time today so we're just going to get right to the review replies so I can post chapter 26. Only the epilogue left after that.

Tahn: I’m glad you like them together, I think they’re good for each other. Yes, it’s been an interesting journey but all good things must come to an end, but don’t worry Nikola and Gage will show up in some of my other stories so they’re not gone forever.

FortunateM: I’m glad you approve of these final chapters. I’m hoping that with the last chapter and the epilogue everyone will be satisfied that the outcome is clear. You’re welcome thank you for reading.

Kew: Thanks and always happy to hear from you too!

Mafusfang: Nope, one more and then an epilogue (gotta set up my next story). Yep gotta say that I know a few men that would have put JJ six feet under too.

So on to the next chapter…

[CL Mustafic]

Review Replies for Falling For Him Chapter 19

Hello! So thanks again for reading, rating and reviewing. A few things have happened in the last couple of chapters I’ve written that make me wonder what the heck is going on with this story so as of right now I’m not sure where it’s leading. Guess we’ll find out together.

So onto the replies:

Tahn: I warned about the drama, I’m sorry just a little more and then maybe one more and oh who am I kidding I have no idea how much more there will be until they get their HEA but they will. It’s a little creepy that I know when you’re about to go to bed don’t you think…

Psy-girl: I’m not sure it will ruin the relationship besides Gavin owes it to Lex to be the understanding one for a change right? Anyway Lex won’t get a chance to tell the doc his secret in the next chapter, too much going on for that…

Aduil: Aww thanks I’m glad you like it. I think sometimes you need lemony fluffy stuff too. Yep more drama, sigh, but that’s life. Thanks for the compliment it means a lot that even one person thinks it’s good and don’t worry I won’t give it up if the updates end it means either someone broke all my fingers or I’m dead…morbid.

Lisa: Yes we haven’t seen the last of Cassie and of course Gavin blew everything out of proportion it’s how he is, in his mind things always seem bigger than they are. Yep, Lex has a secret but it’s not so bad really and unfortunately we don’t get to hear it for a couple of chapters…sorry.

Well that’s it next chapter is up.

CL

[CL Mustafic]

Review Replies for Loving Sarajevo Chapter 26

Okay so this was the last chapter but I have an epilogue so that’s going up today.

I want to thank everyone that took the time to read Loving Sarajevo. To everyone that left me a review to let me know what you thought: I appreciate it really I do. Like I said, I almost pulled the story at the start but the couple of reviewers that let me know they were there kept me posting so an extra thanks to FortunateM and Zas for your early reviews.

So on to the replies:

Alasdair-you: Thanks I’m glad you liked the end and yes I’d be exactly like that if someone bought me a house! I love HEAs so I always make sure my guys get one. Thanks for reviewing.

Tahn: I’m glad you loved the story, thanks for sticking with me and letting me know that you were enjoying it.

Sephla: Oh man you’re making me blush. Thanks for the compliment! I’m glad you’re satisfied with how it all worked out and thanks to you and all the reviewers that gave me feedback when I needed it. I agree that the extra chapters helped to make the story feel more complete. Hope you enjoy the rest of Falling for Him.

Well that’s all for now. Thanks again for sticking with me through my first attempt at writing. I know it needs some editing but thanks for overlooking my mistakes.

I’m going to post the epilogue and also the first chapter of a new story I’m working on so if you’d all be so kind as to keep an eye out for The Heart Wants and feel free to let me know what you think.

CL