She is the One

[Mr_Fairplay]

is 37 the end of Summer, and then 38 will begin The Fracture?

Seems like it, Joe left a pretty big teaser at the end, it's killing me.

[Joe Long]

I'm working my way thru it now

...she pulled out a sandwich she’d gotten from some sandwich place I hadn’t been to yet (sorry, don’t remember the name)

Oh Joe, you're trolling me so bad, you F'er...it's Sheetz! Sheetz! (in case you didn't hear me the first time)

[Mr_Fairplay]

I'm working my way thru it now

...she pulled out a sandwich she’d gotten from some sandwich place I hadn’t been to yet (sorry, don’t remember the name)

Oh Joe, you're trolling me so bad, you F'er...it's Sheetz! Sheetz! (in case you didn't hear me the first time)

BTW, sent you a PM regarding my story.

[thismy]

Thatand the prostitution ring.

shiiiiiit. This should be... Interesting.

My thoughts: chapter was fairly light, but there was underlying tension in that picnic scene.

The "heh heh" and the upfront teaser were very intriguing, hence how I started this post. "The Fracture". It's the most ambiguous title we've gotten. From the end-of-chapter hints, I'm banking on a split in the group. Ie, a couple (besides Jack and Kayla) split, and some sort of argument happens between some of the girls or the guys. I see Jack v Joe as the most likely. Why? I don't know. They've been butting heads all summer, seemingly more than just friendly play.

Oh, and the prostitution ring. Don't get me started. There's about a thousand and one ways that could go, and it'll probably be the worst way.

I have a few theories, and I may present them here soon.

[Guest anduril38]

Really hope Jack and Joe don't clash, I love Joe

[Guest No_One]

Ugggh I have so many theories and I'm rushing to the end before I say any of them. This chapter is definitely very suspenseful.

First theory: Rhona says something via text to Kayla and greatly upsets her. Rhona vs. Kayla showdown. I'd love to see that.

Theory two: Jessica keeps pushing to get alone with Jack. Kayla tries out for Alice in revenge. Gets the role. Jessica vs. Kayla showdown.

Theory 2.0: Jessica vs. Kayla showdown BUT Rhona and Kayla have actually become very good friends and it ends up being a massive chick fight with Kayla and Rhona against Jessica.

Theory three: Brad is back and that's why Jessica is trying so hard to get Jack alone. If no one knows where Jack is or if there's no one to save his @$$ he'll leave her alone (not sure what he'd have over her this time).

Not sure how any of these theories fit into the new saga title.

Loving this chapter Joe! Another amazing addition

[thismy]

Theroy 1: this might be a tad heavy, mind you.

----------------------

I always thought life could be so roundabout. That things were never clear. I was wrong. I don't know exactly why it happened. I've never been able to figure it out. But what down that night, like many events in my life, this one particularly so, are what made me who I am. It was awful. I won't tell you that I wouldn't change a thing, because, well, that's plain bullshit. I would have done everything to avoid it.

Tom. I never thought about Tom. No one did, really. He was unassuming, nice, quiet. He didn't make a show. But yet here we were. Now, I won't regale you with all the bloody details, for this is not the time, nor the place. However, I'll reveal the climax.

*******************

There he stood, alone in the amidst the smoke. Tom. I was crouched low, holding Kayla.

"Where is he!" Tom roared.

I moved. "No, Jack! Please!" Kayla pleaded.

"Kayla," I said, grasping her hand. "I owe them."

"No! You don't owe anyone anything. He'll kill you." She was groveling now. A sob escaped her.

"I hear you, Jack Jack!" Tom taunted.

"Kayla, he's going to take them out." I said, standing.

"Please." Kayla's voice was broken. "Don't. Don't be so selfish."

"Selfish?" I asked, still stunned. "I'm not being selfish. I'm helping everyone."

"Not me!" Kayla burst through. "What would I do without you? If you leave, you leave me!" She moved to sit up, but gasped in pain. I tore a strip from my jacket and pressed it against her wound.

"I have to. I love you." I said quickly, planting one kiss on her lips before letting go of her hand.

"No!" She gasped. "Please." She pleaded fleetingly.

Tom was standing over something, or someone. "Look!" He shouted. "Jack doesn't even defend his friends!" He looked at the heap on the ground. "Craig, is it? The douche gone good?" He kicked at Craig. A small yelp escaped. "Your errors still haunt people. I will justify those people. Vindicate them!" Tom smiled sadistically. He raised the black object in his hand.

There was a shriek, as Becca launched herself at Tom. Tom whirled, smashing his pistol into her face. She crumpled to the ground. It looked like Craig struggled to get up. "Aww, Crawaigs wittle girly friend has to potect him!" Tom mocked, as one would talk to a baby. "Prepare for the end."

"Stop!" I said. My voice was surprisingly loud. Tom looked up.

"Ahh, the main event." Tom grinned wolfishly. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Stop what you're doing, Tom, please. You can turn back." I pleaded. "You have the power to end this."

"And our hero makes his appeal!" Tom shouted grandly, opening his arms and spinning in the plaza. "And you're right. I do have the power. Why would I stop?" He asked.

"These people, Tom, they're innocent. You want me." I offered.

"Hmm, what do you suggest, Jack?" Tom let loose another maniacal grin.

"If you take me," I said, stepping towards him and offering my hands, "will you leave the rest? I give my self freely." I heard Kayla sob again. I fought against the tears.

"How magnanimous." Tom laughed. "You're a saint, Jack. I can agree to your offer."

I sighed, and stepped closer, ruble cracking beneath my feet. "Take me." I offered my hands.

Tom smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid I'm not taking prisoners. But I'll acknowledge your will." He leveled his pistol at my head.

I thought of Walburn, of what happened. I closed my eyes, wondering if it would be quick. I waited for the embrace.

"Good bye, Jack!" Tom sang.

"BANG!"

Edited August 18, 2015 by thismy

[Mr_Fairplay]

Theroy 1: this might be a tad heavy, mind you.

----------------------

I always thought life could be so roundabout. That things were never clear. I was wrong. I don't know exactly why it happened. I've never been able to figure it out. But what down that night, like many events in my life, this one particularly so, are what made me who I am. It was awful. I won't tell you that I wouldn't change a thing, because, well, that's plain bullshit. I would have done everything to avoid it.

Tom. I never thought about Tom. No one did, really. He was unassuming, nice, quiet. He didn't make a show. But yet here we were. Now, I won't regale you with all the bloody details, for this is not the time, nor the place. However, I'll reveal the climax.

*******************

There he stood, alone in the amidst the smoke. Tom. I was crouched low, holding Kayla.

"Where is he!" Tom roared.

I moved. "No, Jack! Please!" Kayla pleaded.

"Kayla," I said, grasping her hand. "I owe them."

"No! You don't owe anyone anything. He'll kill you." She was groveling now. A sob escaped her.

"I hear you, Jack Jack!" Tom taunted.

"Kayla, he's going to take them out." I said, standing.

"Please." Kayla's voice was broken. "Don't. Don't be so selfish."

"Selfish?" I asked, still stunned. "I'm not being selfish. I'm helping everyone."

"Not me!" Kayla burst through. "What would I do without you? If you leave, you leave me!" She moved to sit up, but gasped in pain. I tore a strip from my jacket and pressed it against her wound.

"I have to. I love you." I said quickly, planting one kiss on her lips before letting go of her hand.

"No!" She gasped. "Please." She pleaded fleetingly.

Tom was standing over something, or someone. "Look!" He shouted. "Jack doesn't even defend his friends!" He looked at the heap on the ground. "Craig, is it? The douche gone good?" He kicked at Craig. A small yelp escaped. "Your errors still haunt people. I will justify those people. Vindicate them!" Tom smiled sadistically. He raised the black object in his hand.

There was a shriek, as Becca launched herself at Tom. Tom whirled, smashing his pistol into her face. She crumpled to the ground. It looked like Craig struggled to get up. "Aww, Crawaigs wittle girly friend has to potect him!" Tom mocked, as one would talk to a baby. "Prepare for the end."

"Stop!" I said. My voice was surprisingly loud. Tom looked up.

"Ahh, the main event." Tom grinned wolfishly. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Stop what you're doing, Tom, please. You can turn back." I pleaded. "You have the power to end this."

"And our hero makes his appeal!" Tom shouted grandly, opening his arms and spinning in the plaza. "And you're right. I do have the power. Why would I stop?" He asked.

"These people, Tom, they're innocent. You want me." I offered.

"Hmm, what do you suggest, Jack?" Tom let loose another maniacal grin.

"If you take me," I said, stepping towards him and offering my hands, "will you leave the rest? I give my self freely." I heard Kayla sob again. I fought against the tears.

"How magnanimous." Tom laughed. "You're a saint, Jack. I can agree to your offer."

I sighed, and stepped closer, ruble cracking beneath my feet. "Take me." I offered my hands.

Tom smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid I'm not taking prisoners. But I'll acknowledge your will." He leveled his pistol at my head.

I thought of Walburn, of what happened. I closed my eyes, wondering if it would be quick. I waited for the embrace.

"Good bye, Jack!" Tom sang.

"BANG!"

NICE!!!! Great work as usual man, though i don't possess the skill to put my theories into story format (yet!...woking on it), i have one, judging by the mention of "The Prostitution Ring", i'd say someone within the group or outside but close has contact with the ring. My guesses are Craig, because he has a bar/club where prostitutes disguised as normal girls can mingle, or Jessica....Wait! I got another one! Nick Tallorn, back when Kayla gets free after the play/musical, Nick approaches her with an intent to hit on her and maybe get to see her, what if she's not wanting to date her but to recruit her, what if Nick is involved with the ring, and Jessica knows, now either she's involved and also wants Kayla on board, or she wants to warn Jack by getting, or it could be Sam and the whole thing with Amanda and the baseball thingy could be a cover, and the feeling that Alan got was more than jealousy what if that feeling was his gut feeling of danger nearby.

Joe mentioned Rhona is based on a really good friend of his, and he asked us to give her time, if the fracture with in the group happens then Rhona might be a comforting force. Even during their interactions i can see her taking on a comforting role.

Anyway, that's what i have so far, i'd really like if this saga features Jack and Kayla as a team instead of being split up and Jack has to deal with that on top of other problems with in the group. The Fracture could also mean a fracture between Kack/Jayla, but i don't think that's gonna happen (at least i hope not).

[Joe Long]

Joe mentioned Rhona is based on a really good friend of his, and he asked us to give her time, if the fracture with in the group happens then Rhona might be a comforting force. Even during their interactions i can see her taking on a comforting role.

But characters can also be a combination of multiple real people.

Rhona exudes sexiness, needs money for her own place, and was immediately drawn to the 'gorgeous' Kayla. Maybe Rhona gets it started and tries to pull some of the girls in to her organization.

PS I will get back to you, lot of things going on!

[Mr_Fairplay]

But characters can also be a combination of multiple real people.

Rhona exudes sexiness, needs money for her own place, and was immediately drawn to the 'gorgeous' Kayla. Maybe Rhona gets it started and tries to pull some of the girls in to her organization.

PS I will get back to you, lot of things going on!

Hmm, maybe, but Joe wouldn't have told us about her otherwise, even if your theory is true Rhona is still based in majority on his friend, i bet she's one of the good guys, and might become a good friend of the couple. She could be bi-sexual like Joe in the story. I still got my money on Craig, Joe, Sam, Jessica or Nick.

It's OK, just give it a read and reply when you get time. I'll start writing further when you give me the go-ahead, luckily my college is reopening one week after it's previously decided date, so i got and extra week of vacations, YIPEEEEEE

[Joe Long]

I still got my money on Craig, Joe, Sam, Jessica or Nick.

Craig has the means, and has a history of douchery. The ring leader could approach Craig to ask for material assistance, but he's the richest of the gang and as far as I know suburban girls turned prostitutes are more likely to be looking for a way to make more money.

Those others are all still in school, much younger. If it's Rhona, she doesn't have to be the ring leader, but got caught up in something when trying to find some extra bucks to get her own place. Once in, she could be pressured to supply names of some friends who might also be interested in 'making a little extra cash.' Maybe she is successful with one of the girls, and if Jack's the one who introduced Rhona to the gang, he might caught some of the shit being blown back.

Edited August 18, 2015 by Joe Long

[Mr_Fairplay]

Craig has the means, and has a history of douchery. The ring leader could approach Craig to ask for material assistance, but he's the richest of the gang and as far as I know suburban girls turned prostitutes are more likely to be looking for a way to make more money.

Yes, you got that right, that seems like a possible event. The most likely way anyone who is a member of the gang could get involved is owing someone money that's involved with the ring. Apart from Craig; Sam, Jessica and Nick have the next best chances. Sam's the new guy and like i mentioned about him being an undercover agent type thingy for the ring, think Dave Franco in 21 Jump Street. I'll have to think more about Jessica and Nick.

OR, could be someone from the new guys? I mean the freshman are gonna come and could be someone from there?

P.S. UNDEROATH ARE BACK!!!!! MY FAVORITE BAND IS BACK!!!!

[Joe Long]

Tom smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid I'm not taking prisoners. But I'll acknowledge your will." He leveled his pistol at my head.

I thought of Walburn, of what happened. I closed my eyes, wondering if it would be quick. I waited for the embrace.

"Good bye, Jack!" Tom sang.

"BANG!"

I've read a few fan fics on this site, two which involved young attractive TV characters being held against their will and then raped. The sense of danger to characters we know, and even of degradation and injury, can be entertaining, but I'm rooting for my people to respond, to get the upper hand and live to tell the story. Then they die - what a bummer!

[thismy]

I've read a few fan fics on this site, two which involved young attractive TV characters being held against their will and then raped. The sense of danger to characters we know, and even of degradation and injury, can be entertaining, but I'm rooting for my people to respond, to get the upper hand and live to tell the story. Then they die - what a bummer!

How do you know who died? Or if anyone died? I'd figure if it was told from first person, past tense, that the teller may have survived.

That whole thing was the fault of Harry Potter. I've been watching all the movies, so there was some influence.

If you'd like closure, I can provide it.

[Joe Long]

How do you know who died? Or if anyone died? I'd figure if it was told from first person, past tense, that the teller may have survived.

It was triggering!

In two stories, the young lady was in serious peril, and of course I was rooting for her to escape and/or exact revenge for her deprivations. Then the violence went up a notch, and I got queezy reading about what seemed a permanent and/or disabling injury. And then they died. I wasn't interested in trying the genre again.

However, death of a prominent character can be done well. Ron Moore killed dozens of people off of Battlestar Galactica, and it provided good drama. He told a story on his podcast of the actress who played the Viper pilot "Kat." She was traveling and received an email of the next script. Her friend was reading through it, and excitedly told her, "You're going to be the star of this episode!" "What's it about?" "You escort the ships through a dangerous nebula - oh, and then you die" "Shit." Moore forget to tell her ahead of time that they were terminating her character (and thus her employment) - but Moore thought it would make a great story.

[Chester57]

Yes, you got that right, that seems like a possible event. The most likely way anyone who is a member of the gang could get involved is owing someone money that's involved with the ring. Apart from Craig; Sam, Jessica and Nick have the next best chances. Sam's the new guy and like i mentioned about him being an undercover agent type thingy for the ring, think Dave Franco in 21 Jump Street. I'll have to think more about Jessica and Nick.

OR, could be someone from the new guys? I mean the freshman are gonna come and could be someone from there?

I like Jessica and Nick as the two pawns fronting the prostitution ring. Remember that Jessica is the Queen Bee with an entourage of popular girls at her beck and call-- there's your stable of harlots right there. So who's running this show? How about Brad and some of his juvie buddies? Maybe a long shot, but Brad is the most ruthless character in the story-- kind of like Zod returning from the Phantom Zone, if you'll forgive the analogy. If so, this will be interesting. I think we may at last see that pipe bomb detonated.

Edited August 19, 2015 by Chester57

[Guest Delta4]

i think Rohana is crusing on Jack. No matter how mature she is but some times we find some one in our life who just clicks the righ buttons and we cant help but fall for them hard. She finds him cute and after seeing other talents and faithfulness to his girlfriend she is attracted to him more.She have commented "cute" on jack many times now. And her character has gotten so real.man i was reading their dialogue and was thinking how the heck one person write this,well done Joe.i like Rhona now.hope she and kyla are on good terms.

Game con is also due

i liked the double meaning dialogue B/W Jessica and Jack.had many LOLS

(“Why don’t you wanna do it with me?”

I assumed, and prayed, that the ‘it’ she was referring to was the line-readings. “I mean, I will. ")

Stop the teasing Joe

Well the sexual content may be loosing its thrill becuase characters are just same. i know Jack~Kyla relationship has already seen so many ups and downs and so Jack being guilty of doing anything with other girls will torn their relationship beyond repair,but he likes to help others so much, and i think he will do anything to save his friend in a dire situation.and by the hints in chapters i think he will get in a troubled situation once and will oblige the wish of some one but than will be blackmailed to oblige many wishes..

he he he perverted evil me (poor Jack).

and Joe we are ready for some serious drama.enough enetrtainment already

[COJimmyV]

Great theories all. I'll add one more although it's a bit out there. Kayla's mom is actually a madam and all her "trips" and political affiliations have to do with her lining up girls for politicians and lobbyists. Kayla's dad finds out but can't say anything so that's what their problems are all about.

Yeah, definitely not likely but would make for a big twist.

Edited August 19, 2015 by COJimmyV

[Mr_Fairplay]

I agree with being a little out there, lol

An interesting theory, i have to admit, but you see my friend everybody has a tell, one thing, a crack at their outer walls that give us a glimpse of what the person really is, if Mrs Hannigan was a madam then we would have had a little bit of hinting pointing to it, still a solid theory.

I have another one, Kelly, the girl Alan is seeing, she's the prostitute or directly involved with the ring, it just came to me while i was typing out this reply, i'll have o think further on it to get the details as to how would it be possible.

[that-one-guy]

So so far we're expecting: prostitutes, Chinese water torture and a pipe bomb. This is starting to sound like one of magusfangs stories!

[Mr_Fairplay]

So so far we're expecting: prostitutes, Chinese water torture and a pipe bomb. This is starting to sound like one of magusfangs stories!

hahahahaha, but the main question that i'm concerned with is what this means of Kack/Jayla. If the group splits up, i see the couple or Jack seeking comfort with Rhona, she may be filrty and outspoken but i see a good heart underneath (though most people seem pretty adamant she has a romantic interest in Jack, personally i would like to see some Kayla and Rhona lesbian action. ).

Man, i miss the good old days when it was Jack vs. Craig and Jack vs. Brad. This time it could be Jack vs. Nick, or if we're having catfights, Kayla vs. Amanda (when and if Kayla finds out about the handcuffs) or Kayla vs. Jessica.

[Chester57]

Great theories all. I'll add one more although it's a bit out there. Kayla's mom is actually a madam and all her "trips" and political affiliations have to do with her lining up girls for politicians and lobbyists. Kayla's dad finds out but can't say anything so that's what their problems are all about.

Yeah, definitely not likely but would make for a big twist.

I like it, especially when you think about Mary Hannigan working in her flower beds or painting in the house! It would be a big twist, but it would pale by comparison to our actual political scene ever since Bill Clintons' days in office. Truth IS stranger than fiction-- and that's because fiction has to make sense.

[Guest Delta4]

another wierd perverted idea,while jack is being blackmailed into doing some thing,the evil girl demands he kiss her.He already afraid she will demand something like this but still thinks its just a kiss to save his love ones.so he obliges unwillingly,but she is not impressed.she says ' kiss me like you kiss her" jack control his urges of hate but brings his best acting ability and puts some effort into kiss,while kissing he is thinking"oh God plz let her stop here" but as we know jack has not much luck to his side. Next thing he hears is like death bells ringing..... " make love to me like you love her"

Silence..

she has devilish seductive smile on her red wet lips

Jack has no other choice.he requests one condition,he can only do it if he is blingfolded or room is pitch dark but she is hell bend on tormenting him for not giving into her wishes while he had chance.now she has control over him.she demands he will do it while looking into her eyes.but ironically Jack is unable to have an errection because he is emotionally tormented (bumer their for sex carvers ) ,so she agrees to do it in dark.

[Joe Long]

It would be a big twist, but it would pale by comparison to our actual political scene ever since Bill Clintons' days in office. Truth IS stranger than fiction-- and that's because fiction has to make sense.

Clinton didn't start those kinds of things - well, maybe in the Oval Office.

Look up a book "Silent Coup". I read it in the early 80's, maybe 10 years after Watergate.

It alleges that John Dean, who got immunity for testifying before Congress about everyone else in the White House, was actually deeply involved in the planning, and it had more to do with prostitution.

Both sides looked for dirty tricks to be pulled on the opposition, especially in the run-up to a presidential election. Nixon's people had word that a secretary in the DNC headquarters in the Watergate office complex was in charge of booking 'escorts' for out of town politicians and donors who came to DC for visits. That's because the madam's roommate was Dean's girlfriend, and later wife, Maureen.

The popular story was that the bugs planted in the DNC offices were to gather political intelligence, with Liddy and the others caught when trying to remove them. The book alleges that the bug was on the phone of the secretary arranging the escorts, so that Nixon's men would know which Democrat had been with which hooker, to be used later as blackmail. Once a guy associated with the madam was busted for transporting a girl across state lines, they closed up shop to avoid being implicated in the police investigation of the prostitutes.

So, to tie two story lines together, Mr. Hanigan found out his wife was arranging escorts, acting as the liasion between her 'clients' and the madam. Although I still like the idea than Chester was caught fapping to Tara's Facebook page (the problems between Kayla's parents was first noticed when Tara's family was moving in).

Why not both? Make them both guilty!

Edited August 19, 2015 by Joe Long

[Mr_Fairplay]

(the problems between Kayla's parents was first noticed when Tara's family was moving in).

Why not both? Make them both guilty!

Yes, that was rather odd timing. Wait, could it be that Kayla's parents had a threesome (or similar encounter) with Tara's parents and when Tara moves in the memories resurface causing a rift between the two parents. This way what happened with Jack, Kayla and Tara was history repeating itself. Just something that came to me, though the odds of this happening are low.