GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

[GrayNeko]

Jackal 2014-11-01 id#3000069826

Reading these reviews make me smile, nobody know that this had been on HF for years before the new policy. Nice that people like the story though.

Yeah, only a few seem to be aware of HF and my works from there. You're right that it is nice that people like the story, wished they commented a little more, even if they didn't like it. Thanks for stopping by.

[Guest Edward]

I am very happy with that last chapter.

I was afraid Ben and Charmcaster would not end together but I am happy with that ending.

During the first chapters I was expecting the island to be technology-based, maybe with Ben and Charm finding some old, secret base like the ending of the movie The Maze Runner.

Thank you for your work and I wait your futuro works.

[GrayNeko]

I'm glad you liked the story. Originally this piece wasn't going to be story oriented at all, just a smutfic where Charmcaster was raped by each of his alien forms because something on the island would drive each of them crazy, but as I was trying to write the scene where Wildmutt pinned her down and ripped her clothing off I realized it just wouldn't be in character for Charmcaster to continuously be a victim and not just kill Ben in his sleep. Week after next we'll get to the sequel to this piece and everybody will get to see how things change for the two of them once they're home.

[GrayNeko]

Aysha 2014-11-05 id#3000069838

I just read the whole thing from beginning to end and I'll tell you that this is a great story, it had a great plot, great sex and a good ending, now if Charmcaster brought some of those seeds back with her she could share them with Ben and Gwen and have an awesome threesome! by the way just so you know Ben and Gwen are both 10 years old in the original Ben 10 story.

Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It would have been tricky for Charmcaster to smuggle some seeds back with no real pockets to speak of but don't worry, the three of them will still get up to some wild stuff in the sequel. As for their age, I'm assuming Ben and Gwen are 10 at the start of summer and then there's the episode where Wildvine is introduced and the topic of their shared birthday comes up, with, I believe, said birthday taking place at the end of the episode, which would make the two of them 11 at that point. I was trying to remain as true to the canon of the setting as possible, as my story timeline wise takes place near the end of summer.

[Guest Edward]

IT BEGINS.jpg.

So the first chapter of A Charmed Life was really hot.

And Gwen totally was spying on Ben and Charmscaster near the end.

[GrayNeko]

Glad you like it Edward and we will be seeing how Gwen deals with this situation in the next chapter.

Aysha 2014-11-15 id#3000069872

aw esome! It's great to see that you are continuing this story-line, so far Oh so good! I can't wait for the next chapter! Hope you post it soon! Very soon!

Yeah once I finished Island Misadventures I found the story still going in my head so I kept with it. Next chapter will be up next Friday/Saturday.

SailorNemesis 2014-11-15 id#3000069874

Nice start.

Hope the story continues to please.

[GrayNeko]

Daneasaur 2014-11-16 id#3000069881

Wow, this kicked off impressively. I've read the first story and this is an excellent continuation. I'm glad you stuck to human Ben.

Many thanks. I have to say I'm surprised at the number of people who don't seem to care for alien on girl action, one would think with aliens being one of the focuses of the show it would be more popular. Still, for the most part this story is human on human, though there is a rather intense alien scene many chapters later.

[GrayNeko]

Belfry 2014-11-16 id#3000069891

I completely understand why Charmcaster does not want to 'be a secret'. The sneaking around I could do, but having to hide my feelings when others were present was heartbreaking. You are continuing a great story!

I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's interesting to see which parts of the story resonate with readers, I never know what to expect.

[Guest Edward]

Aww, man, not Hex.

Not when everything was happiness and sugar.

Poor Charmcaster can't catch a break.

[GrayNeko]

Man Ed, you don't even know.

[Guest Edward]

The lesbian action of the last chapter was short but sweet. Hopefully Ben will join them soon.

And hopefully Charmcaster will use that orgasm magic in Ben too.

The ending was very suspenseful. I really hope Hex don't rape her.

[GrayNeko]

Ed, I just want you to know that I appreciate all your comments. People were excited for the potential of a threesome when I first posted this on HF and it will happen but since this is also story driven, it will be some chapters later.

[Guest Edward]

A chapter of action but I like it. The rescue of Max of the fire was very similar to a scene of the original show.

Yeah, I don't know what else to say except that I wait the next part.

[Guest Guest]

I'm really liken the store so far hope to see more soon

[GrayNeko]

A chapter of action but I like it. The rescue of Max of the fire was very similar to a scene of the original show.

Yeah, I don't know what else to say except that I wait the next part.

Do you remember which scene that was? I'd hate to have inadvertently plagiarized from the show.

[Guest Edawrd]

Do you remember which scene that was? I'd hate to have inadvertently plagiarized from the show.

Oh, I meant it was very similar in the sense that it could be a scene from the show. Sorry about my wording.

[GrayNeko]

Aysha 2014-12-09 id#3000069944

wanted to let you know I read the last three chapters. I think your story is really good so far can't wait to read more.

I also checked out that episode where they were talking about their birthday and they were talking about who would get to celebrate their birthday on the actual day after summer was over so they didn't turn 11 until after the show had ended.

Well balls, sorry about that. I figured the birthday was sooner because that was around the time they started introducing more aliens, you know, Ben 10 becomes Ben 11 and gets more aliens accordingly. I actually changed it from when I posted it on HF because I figured since the summer was almost over when my story took place the birthday would have come and gone. Appreciate you checking and I'm glad you enjoy the story.

Sorry about the misunderstanding Ed, and thanks for the compliment, others have said similar things and I'm always glad to hear it.

[Guest Edward]

Well, Hex is living the dream of Fluttershy (from MLP): he is a tree.

Honestly I was expecting Ben to kill him. I was not sure how he could defeat a magic user. But I like the way he resolved the situation.

Now I hope Ben apologizes to Gwen and everyone can get in the Sex Train to OrgyVille.

GrayNeko, have you seen the Palcomix comics about Ben, Gwen and Charmscaster in parole? They remind me of your stories a little bit.

[GrayNeko]

OrgyVille is still several towns over with a couple of stops between here and there, but don't worry, this ol' sex locomotive will carry us there faithfully. And now that I'm done beating that analogy like a dead horse, no I haven't read the Palcomix comics about the three of them but links are always appreciated. In truth I always hoped my stories might inspire some art of the pornographic variety.

[Aysha c.c.]

I don't know if the mods will allow an offsite link like that especially considering that what Palcomix does is blatant copyright infringement! that being said I really like that issue too

HokuhotsuNeko I really enjoyed that last chapter I thought it was very well done and quite clever: I too am looking forward to the Fuckamotive hoping there is a LAYover in Incetopolis! now if that analogy has been beaten like a redheaded stepchild... aaa forget I said that.

Edited December 15, 2014 by Aysha c.c.

[GrayNeko]

Thanks Aysha, the way I had originally intended to end this arc of the story was using Ben's Eon form but it was very Dues Ex Machina and I'm glad I went another way. As for the pics, I don't want to get anyone in trouble, just curious is all.

[Aysha c.c.]

sorry that was supposed to be palcomix my cell phones voice recognition software screwed that one up.

I thought the way you ended the last chapter was a good way to go because in one of the later shows I believe it was gray matter who deciphered some magical runes so it stayed in keeping with canon.

Edited December 15, 2014 by Aysha c.c.

[GrayNeko]

hayden 2014-12-20 id#3000069978

Omg i am loving the new direction this is taking great stories both of them the plot between is great and i hope you continue the work

Glad you like both of them, and don't worry there is still plenty of story.

Hey Aysha, if Palcomix is breaking the law then let's break the law right back at them! Some one get me a link!

[Guest Edward]

Well, you can go to the Palcomix site, search the Comics section and look for the Ben 10 comics in the long list at the bottom. The comic I was talking about is called "Early Parole".

I liked the newest chapter. It seems that Ben and Gwen need to work some things out. I guess making the change from just cousins to "lovers in a 3 way relationship" requires some adjustments.

I specially liked how they shared the pain with that spell. Very sweet.

I am sorry but I am not a fan of Charmscaster's attitude. She is kind of rude and blunt with the people that are her new family and lovers.

I was not expecting her to be all sweet and nice so soon but it's just... no one is calling her out. She is bossing Gwen around so easily. I feel that the Gwen of the show would be more tough. I don't know...

Anyway, the sex parts were awesome. Not many writers can amke oral sex interesting for me anymore, but those scenes were HOT.

Happy Holidays, Gray.

[GrayNeko]

Thanks Ed, always thought Palcomix was a pay-to-access site so I thought I needed a way around that, and also that it might be virus central, also glad to see that wasn't the case. Early Parole wasn't bad but I think I'm spoiled by deviantArt and Hentai Foundry, but hey it was free so who am I to complain? Anyway, I'm glad you like the latest chapter and I appreciate your feedback. You have to understand that there's a method to my madness in how the characters interact that will, hopefully, become more apparent in future chapters.