magusfang Posted July 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 No monkey this week...just me and the wifeys...been sooooo much fun Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Christian1040 Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I believe that I should think about some things other than raining vengeance on the SG. Max, Legion, Amy and the rest of the family are coming! This is a suggestion for a few chapters down de road. When Max discover how Alice and May can make a baby, and the genius will, let the babies father be Rick. Max can't want to hog up everything. Plus he will have earned it with getting shot up and all and the family need some new blood!! Just a thought. Magus, now that the appetiser is consumed I am ready with my knife and fork, well sharpened, for the main course. ETA? No problem with Rick having a baby with either Suzy or Tataina, but a MAJOR one with him having one with Alice or May. Okay, May? Maybe, she has drifted towards Rick once before but eventually came back to Max. So that's a possibility, but she didn't say she wanted just a baby, she wanted MAX'S baby. But with Alice a definite NO. She doesn't love Rick the way she loves Max and Max is the only man she has ever loved in that way. So making Rick the father of her potential baby is just absurd and would not make any sense. And I apologize in advance if you take this post the wrong way, but Magus isn't afraid to take suggestions to heart and put them in his stories, so I just wanted to say why that wouldn't work....RIP Mia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 oh no, they both have already expressed that they want Max to be the father and just as soon as i can figure out a plausible scenario max will make it happen Rescue25 and Flexy68 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) a nanite infused legion baby grown like a clone with combonation of bolth june and max dna but for alice moor strey cinthia dna from her old brush amy saved grown in an incubation chamber inside may and alice Edited July 8, 2015 by MajorMarioc Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) I just had surgury on drugs sorry the legion baby means part nanite Oh and all nanites right now will be atempting to get to mika everyone will feel the heartbreak and imediate panicked worry and overwelming rage of legion All self aware spiders all machines all the warbots and flyers can be simultanipusly overriden and controled with the hive mind of legion Edited July 8, 2015 by MajorMarioc Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I just had surgury on drugs sorry the legion baby means part nanite Oh and all nanites right now will be atempting to get to mika everyone will feel the heartbreak and imediate panicked worry and overwelming rage of legion All self aware spiders all machines all the warbots and flyers can be simultanipusly overriden and controled with the hive mind of legion that would be scary but sadly no Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthel0101 Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 So thanks for all the replies and sowwy I killed the dogs (not really) I didn't know Mia had so many fans But that's the way it goes; hope everyone liked the chapter other than the deceased canines I mean Milo was a spider. Of course he is gonna attack. Unfortunately, his only weapons are his teeth and he is a lot more vulnerable as a canine. Then, when Milo gets caught in the fray, Mia gets involved and she has even less protection. Scratch two four-legged kids. Other than that drop off there at the end, it was good. Ya couldn't cut us some slack with the cliffs, could ya? LOL, of course not. Ya wouldn't be Magusfang if ya did. Still hanging on every chapter. Rescue25 and Flexy68 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelad Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Does anyone know if Mika had a chip? if she did then she just downloaded. Legion is in shock but after that passes I don't think the bad guys will have to think about the future. I am sorta worried for Alice because Legion has never felt grief and lose so I can't wait to see what he does. Max might not have to deal with the SG's at all. Rescue25 and Flexy68 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 A cliff hanger with an actual cliff COJimmyV, Rescue25 and Flexy68 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Cliffface is a great insergant position noone ever expects the cliff even if max and co were not kids cliff would most likely not be covered only expirienced and skillfull striketeam takes a cliffface it ads its own chalanges but also the benefits of an unpredictible side are unbelevable advantage I find myself relateing to the major... Idk why lol Edited July 8, 2015 by MajorMarioc Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I haven't commented on this point yet but I like how grey hair is being, nice, to the major. I feel like that would be a real stinging point for him if max killed the major, all out war would happen. Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Maybe major is captured and gives up location of grey hair. No more war/attacks. B Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 No more fucking sex scenes lovey crap, I know you want to drag this thing out but what your readers want is just all out war is what is needed. Evan & Gerald feel responsible for taking Max away when he was needed most & worry will Max cast them & Johanna adrift. The group is shaken to it's core realising that it has dropped the ball once again. Max does some leadership shake-ups and points out that as Rick Et al were special forces trained ta take cliffside advantages should have known better and that their thinking can no longer be trusted. He puts The House on full time alert and has the wor bots upgrade all defensive forces and has Mainframe to start building more and better aggressive offensive devices just shy of being self aware but capable of making decisions on updated info of battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 No more fucking sex scenes lovey crap, I know you want to drag this thing out but what your readers want is just all out war is what is needed. Evan & Gerald feel responsible for taking Max away when he was needed most & worry will Max cast them & Johanna adrift. The group is shaken to it's core realising that it has dropped the ball once again. Max does some leadership shake-ups and points out that as Rick Et al were special forces trained ta take cliffside advantages should have known better and that their thinking can no longer be trusted. He puts The House on full time alert and has the wor bots upgrade all defensive forces and has Mainframe to start building more and better aggressive offensive devices just shy of being self aware but capable of making decisions on updated info of battle. Hey now, I happen to like the sex scenes and "lovely crap". They're important to the overall story. That said, I'm sure Max will make some changes but I don't think they'll be THAT extreme. Rescue25, darthel0101 and Flexy68 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 He just walks in, shoots everyone and builds a new robot family Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthel0101 Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) He just walks in, shoots everyone and builds a new robot family To quote a great actor, "Ha, Ha. It is to laugh."Of course you need Mel's aptitude with voices to get the sputters right, but ... Edited July 9, 2015 by darthel0101 Flexy68 and Rescue25 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 over half done and the bodies are piling up Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthel0101 Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 over half done and the bodies are piling up Hopefully most of them are shadows. It would be nice to take some prisoners, tho', and turn them against the group. Flexy68 and Rescue25 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Mmmmm, the family is a bit angry, especially the machines...I don't think there will be any living prisoners... And it doesn't look good for either side :shakes head sadly: Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthel0101 Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) I wonder what an angry nanobot could do if it got inside of an enemy. Edited July 9, 2015 by darthel0101 Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 he he he...its awesome so writing the second half of the battle scene...blood gore and the odd explosion! Flexy68 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Need next chapter need to know if legion takes the one who shot mel apart like a blender or how manny of them downloaded if they hit tge kids or if any strey kids died the pool was hit after all and adults were there dose the major shread the yellow spider or dose another member of the strike team just before the body of the mechanical matinencebot pushes him off the cliff as they bolth fall the major hrabbing a rope last second lol need to know Flexy68 and darthel0101 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Okay have to jump on the band wagon about the dogs, at least somewhat. It is a sad thing to lose a pet, especially the first pet ever in the family. She was also evolved to a degree, as she could speak albeit through the com chips, but she still spoke beyond the normal canine barking. Now that evolution is gone as well, unless, and this is totally possible, I missed Max figuring out how it was done. this loss and the taking of Alice, if she remains a hostage, is a major blow to Amy. Although it wasn't often shown but she loved that dog, she was a gift from Max after all. I did say somewhat. All that being said, Mia and Milo were seldom used characters. this however could be one of the events that smacks a few of them in the head and reminds them the bad guys are out there and they don't care who they kill to get to what they want. As real as they know it is, sometimes this is the thing that really strikes the fear and realization of just how real it is. I have seen complaints that there hasn't been and deaths in the family that they have always come out of it with injuries or whatever. Well now there has been. Yeah she was a dog, but she was family. Although the chances are slim she would survive the barrage of explosives that was used for Mika, Mia was felled with rifle fire. there is no mention of how many rounds hit her. All there is is Mika holding the "dead dog's broken body". Perhaps in the confusion and the gunfire and explosions she didn't notice she was still alive or barely alive. She just thought she was. Legion is swooping in to gather around his "seemingly dead" girlfriend. Mika is holding mia. Whatever Legion does to Mika there is potential there to include Mia. Maybe Mia and Milo upload to the virtual world and spend eternity together in blissful happiness. I love dogs, and I am sorry to see Mia killed that way. I would have liked it more if she and Milo were killed defending one of the children or one of Max's babies. Would have been harder to set up the Mika scene but think it would have been a more emotional event in the end. On the Mika matter. It does sound as if she's coming back in some shape or form with the help of legion, perhaps as another nanite created body such as Legion's. It could be the break through max needs to help with May and Alice's baby desires. But she was/is a tiny little woman. With all the other larger and more menacing things trying to kill them, trained men of combat found her a greater threat to the point of mowing her down with explosive rounds. Now I am uncertain as to what the referenced orange beasts are pertaining to. I'm guessing spiders since Mia I though was a yellow lab right? Now if it is spiders, and they are that close to tell the color, it's night out, wouldn't men that had all conscious thought leave them as terror took complete control of their minds be more concerned about the spiders than the girl? they pose the greater threat right? Now I have never been nor ever want to be in combat. I don't even care for paintball games. For what it is worth my respect and I salute all those who have, may you never again need to. Just as an outsider to that world looking in, I would have thought they would have not wasted limited ammo on a single little girl, possible unarmed, with clearly armed spiders close by. The situation between Stella, Carol and Samantha seemed to come out of left field. There was no build up to it. Admittedly I do tend to skip over some paragraphs so maybe I missed something. The last I remember the three's "relationship" being a part of the story was back when they were sequestered at Max's. Even then it didn't strike as something that could become a permanent thing once she had Gerald. Did I miss the dreamy flash backs they all had of their coming together in the bed? I don't think that this section fit the chapter. As I read this I had one of those random thought moments. Is it me or are Jenna and Evan getting more story time than Mike and Leia? And what happen to the former mean girls that turned friends to max and crew and new lesbian lovers to each other ummm...Stacy and Kara? Weren't they at the prom and see Nadi and Emma go into labor? Now as to the possibly captured Alice. I was surprised to see her taken down by a Taser. guess thinking she is a machine despite things, she be more able to withstand the affect of the electrical charge. With that in mind, thinking Miss Alice is not out at all, but putting up a show. She maybe giving the major a surprise of his life soon. Maybe she starts fighting back as he carries her down the cliff. He losses his hold and they fall to the beach. her body is strong could she survive such a fall? if she is actually brought to the gray haired head of the shadow group, that can be a big problem is she is not awake. he comes across as a pullout your finger nails as you sleep type. We all know what is seen under Alice's nails. This guy has gone this nuts for a war spider, what would he do for the secret to humanized robots? he's killed how many? sent how many to the death? How power mad would he become with thoughts of androids at his control? Perhaps Alice comes around once they are down and near a zodiac, taking out the major, dead maybe but knocked out works. Seeing they are at the ocean she calls the lotus and perhaps Max's new underwater spiders get their debut. The sub is found attacked but it manages to get away so gray hair can continue to cause issues later. Nah that don't sound good at all, forget it. last thing out to all the gripers about the mushy stuff. I seem to recall not long ago people were complaining there wasn't enough of it. that there was to much fighting and not enough Max and Emma time. People just read the dam story. Skip over the kissing and sex if you don't want to read about it. No one forces you to. I'm sure Magus appreciates the inputs but come on already enough is enough. Just read and enjoy the story. But it is his story, let him write it. Offer ideas and thoughts but stop the dam broken record. Sometimes I wish some of you put your own stories up and see how well you do. think you could get as much of a following? Apologies. First for the soap box in the last paragraph. second for if I have ever said anything along those lines. Lastly for this overly long post. Not sure how it got so big. Again, it's just my two cents and I know its not even worth that much. As always looking forward to the next chapter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyAngel Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 I told him not to kill the dogs! He's so mean! COJimmyV, Rescue25 and Flexy68 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted July 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 :rolls eyes: at DA Ok, the reason they shot Mika was they were terrified, remember the house floodlights are on so they are partially blinded and being cut down, they would shoot at anything that moved As for Alice getting tazed, well military tazers pack a punch so what happened next would be telling, though some of you are pretty close... Rescue25 and Flexy68 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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