magusfang Posted May 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 LOL, so its all my fault huh? Ok, I get the message, write faster before someone gets seriously injured! Well I have over half the rewrite done and with any luck should be posting tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest. It's a mushy chapter so be warned, no blood letting this time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 LOL, so its all my fault huh? Ok, I get the message, write faster before someone gets seriously injured! Well I have over half the rewrite done and with any luck should be posting tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest. It's a mushy chapter so be warned, no blood letting this time Not saying its your fault (your own injury is though) but we all need to find better pass times lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Better pastimes? but this is fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Better pastimes? but this is fun! Your only saying that cuz you get the magic button again lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Damn, this place is turning into the walking wounded! Is that walking or talking?? B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazychickhull Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hey magus how do you manage to get your chapters so long? My brain is exploding and only wrote 4 pages this time. I know you all wanted more sorry 🙏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Not sure, I do tend to be a bit verbose, using twenty words to say what I could have in five, but I think it's more that I hunt for a perfect spot to drop a cliffhanger and that can take a while. Also I do switch scenes in chapters so they tend to actually be a collection of little chapters; if I ended a chapter at each scene end, I'd have like 200 1000 word or so chapters in each book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazychickhull Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Ok thanks I'll try that for chapter four I did manage to get in two flash backs and four scenes in this one. Hope you all like it. It's a bit rough though. I've posted it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Not sure, I do tend to be a bit verbose, using twenty words to say what I could have in five, but I think it's more that I hunt for a perfect spot to drop a cliffhanger and that can take a while. Also I do switch scenes in chapters so they tend to actually be a collection of little chapters; if I ended a chapter at each scene end, I'd have like 200 1000 word or so chapters in each book. Keep on keeping on. If anything make them a bit longer. Cliffhangers OK to a point - just don't make the cliffs too high. The fact that you have started using a visual break between scenes helps immensely. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Yeah, my writing is confusing enough to have to figure out when everything suddenly changed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ok thanks I'll try that for chapter four I did manage to get in two flash backs and four scenes in this one. Hope you all like it. It's a bit rough though. I've posted it anyway. Quote from my review. OK Length a LITTLE better. I really think 1,2 & 3 could have been 1 chapter. Do you know where you are going with this story? Maybe planning out the course of the story would help putting more meat in each chapter. When "we" get going on a story hate to stop all of a sudden. Just a suggestion. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Yeah, my writing is confusing enough to have to figure out when everything suddenly changed Don't think it's confusing but until you started using the breaks I did have to go back and try to figure out what was going on . Do wish you could post more more often. Your stories are like dark chocolate - VERY ADDICTIVE!!. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Sorry, but I just haven't been able to get more than a page or two done at a time, just not flowing well. Evidently moriphine is not as conducive to bouts a fancy as vicoden... Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Lol come on sitting in a hospital bed is bad for the creative juices lol who would of thought Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Ok, finally got chapter 3 posted...that was almost painful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazychickhull Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Holy lovemaking batman that was beautiful what a chapter! And another cliffhanger aarrgh. But please don't start singing kylie Minogue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 I really got to stop reading these before school, have to reread it to make sure I didn't miss anything lol Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Holy lovemaking batman that was beautiful what a chapter! And another cliffhanger aarrgh. But please don't start singing kylie Minogue Guess I was a little horny . But I did warn you guys it was a mushy chapter and I even toned it down a bit in the rewrite I really got to stop reading these before school, have to reread it to make sure I didn't miss anything lol Not much went on, it was a feel good, lovey dovey chapter. Tried something a bit different in the sex scene, thought it was kinda funny COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 Guess I was a little horny . But I did warn you guys it was a mushy chapter and I even toned it down a bit in the rewrite Not much went on, it was a feel good, lovey dovey chapter. Tried something a bit different in the sex scene, thought it was kinda funny The whole disappearing/reappearing act? Yeah I laughed way to hard at that. Drugged up Magus had some good ideas lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 well the sheets were wet so at least they had fun first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rescue25 Posted May 22, 2015 Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 OK Now we have Nadi disappearing during an orgasm and popping up in Max's head but still able to show up in the V/W and legion getting WORRIED? Head man in black ops taking charge after getting brutal with a woman. Sounds like he needs to be captured when they try another capture of Max;s family and be taught what interrogation is all about in Max's world. We still haven't heard about the 4 captures and the new captain also being questioned. The sex scenes were a bit more detailed than usual. Glad you are back home. Suggest you behave before the monkey takes you to task. As always next chapter soon please. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2015 yeah Nadi and Max are merged and she was using his com chip, when he shut it down, she was pulled from the VW and back into his headm bo poor Legion is worried he won't be able to seperate them. as for the sex scenes...i've been on the sideline a while...bout a week! what can i say, i'm a man slut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorMarioc Posted May 23, 2015 Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 Great chapter was good to have a lovey dovey chapter but you need to get alittle moor backto the teck show off sp,e of the inprovements of the spiders to the swat team as they get use to there partners also show the kids not alot of course would be hundreds of chapters just to introduce them but ypu need to show the alittle you have ovr 100 kids liveing under the same roof and the master ws in a coma you need to show him reasure the scared abused kids that the one indestructible master is ok and no longer in a comma the kidsare why he is pulled so thin showit a little On a persinal note i mannaged to run 2 blocks today saying goodbye to the cane walking with a limp and can run a little Grandfather and fellow soldure is helping alot been spending alot of time with him planning on spending memorial day with him morning my other grandfather who survived a bullet to the spine in Korea and the loss of his legs to loose the war with cancer while i was god knows wear getting shot in the head not even knowing he was sick this monday is a day of rememberance and we will be remembering all soldures who gave there life's in one way or another god bless all of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magusfang Posted May 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2015 I was thinking a dinner scene or maybe a scene in the pool house with all the friends and family...a pool party/ bbq would be good...roll out the twins new armor soon too (still doing a little research on powered armor though) In fact I haven't written much in the last few days...getting settled back home taking a little time Oh, and I need a scene in public with Nadi in his head, that could be fun COJimmyV 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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