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Posted (edited)

shhhhhh, i read the chapter,,,it pretty good, lots of twists and turns

its all finished except proofing it, like every other word is misspelled :P i've never seen so many squiggly lines.

don't worry, i'll keep bugging him

shhhh, i was never here ;)

holy crap, i'm a virgin! when the hell did that happen...oh, i'm so mad too, the nuns in catholic school said you couldn't go back!

Edited by DirtyAngel
Posted

shhhhhh, i read the chapter,,,it pretty good, lots of twists and turns

its all finished except proofing it, like every other word is misspelled :P i've never seen so many squiggly lines.

don't worry, i'll keep bugging him

shhhh, i was never here ;)

holy crap, i'm a virgin! when the hell did that happen...oh, i'm so mad too, the nuns in catholic school said you couldn't go back!

i'll keep bugging him - PLEASE DO !!

holy crap, i'm a virgin! when the hell did that happen...oh, i'm so mad too, the nuns in catholic school said you couldn't go back!

So much fun to retrace those steps !!!

B

Posted

Oh my god, she found the thread...is nothing sacred any more?

get her an account they said...it'll be fun they said...sigh

so just need to spell check it and its done...gonna take a quick shower first though...should be up sometime soon

Posted

Crazyc cleaned it up. Thank you DA for getting him on track AGAIN ! Mangus you left us wanting more as usual, At least it wasn't as bad a habger as the last chapter. I do see the possibility of a little comic relief when Max attracts the attention of various local and state agencies with the speed of the truck and they all fall in behind him only to get shut down when he goes down his road and the FBI says go away and you saw nothing here. Maybe backed up by a spider ord one of the twins in armor. Alice should regain consciousness and be able to deal with the boat crew then summon help to get her back.

Legion has shown himself to be worthy. Evidently "grey hair" was rouge BUT was he being handled? Since Legion got involved everything that was in his head is now available to legion. Should be interesting. Another thought what about the other nonconus teams mentioned earlier. Do they just disappear? Waiting for the next installment.

B

Posted

I like this version of legion... He does seem a bit overpowered though. At least with the war spiders they could fire missiles at them. Maybe an EMP would work...

I am surprised that he let Legion miss Alice in the RHI. But that would have made the rescue scenes harder to do.

B

Posted

I like this version of legion... He does seem a bit overpowered though. At least with the war spiders they could fire missiles at them. Maybe an EMP would work...

Well obviously DA let the cat out of the bag...so yes while he seems to be a mechanical Marty Sue now, his flaws will be revealed, and his weaknesses

Posted

Damn Magus, you are good! One important piece I missed, I think. How does Legion make the transition from hologram to something that can be touched and how can the nanities get into a person's body if there are no wounds, and Max, Alice or Cat don't inject the individuals? Legion is a more extreme version of Max. The nanities are not invisible because the show up on X-rays but the SG guys holding the hostages AND those outside doesn't seem to see them. They only see Legion. You really went to town in this chapter. So, where is Alice and where is the major taking her? I thought he reported to the guy in the sub.

Posted

Appears nanites can go in thru pores in the skin OR can be injected. Legion has conjured up an avatar that can change at will. He is formed of nanites in the millions or billions. He is now self aware and is evidencing some human traits. Many things are invisable to the naked eye until there is a mass of them. In addition to having a nice "sex story" this is also sci-fi.

Mangus - where did I miss the boat?

B

Posted

Well obviously DA let the cat out of the bag...so yes while he seems to be a mechanical Marty Sue now, his flaws will be revealed, and his weaknesses

Killing "bad guys" is NOT a flaw or weakness.

B

Posted

Max and legion designed him a body composed entirely of nanites

of legions design so smaller and can be absorbed through the skin

The boat, and I forgot to put this in, was put together by the two men the major left behindoh and yes Alice is with the major heading for a small island off the coast and we still don't know how bad the taser damaged her...da da da

Guest SYELDARB
Posted

Magus! gosh darn it, now i need the next chapter.... Great job, I have been waiting for this battle and the aftermath from when they first noticed the war spiders...

Posted

I finally get to say "I told you so". Legion is filled with grief and hatred right now. That could be a problem, in the future, he could go of the deep end. thank Punisher or Electra. he could start killing everybody he thanks deserves it. Great chapter I can't wait for the next one.

Guest
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