Writing a pregnancy TBBT story and need advice from mothers!

[kagome26isawsome]

basically i have no idea how the process goes from 2 1/2 weeks (where my character is atm) to the birthing process. I hope all the mothers out there could give me advice on how to write the process of her pregnancy, what foods are good for her and ect to sites where i can find this all out. I already know that she cant drink/smoke now that she is pregnant but that is about it. So any mothers out there please help me and i will credit you in each chapter!

Thanks in advance!!

[RogueMudblood]

http://www.pregnancy.com/

http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy-week-by-week.aspx

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-week-by-week/MY00331

http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/

Now, I had a Cesarean. So I didn't experience the joys :sarcasm: of pushing the child through the birth canal. However, something my mother said to me when I was about nine years old has always stuck with me.

I was preparing for a role in the school play and the character was pregnant and had to give birth. So I was practicing birthing noises. My mother asked me what I was doing, and when I informed her, I was promptly advised, "Oh, no, honey. There's a lot more screaming than that. You sound like you're trying to pass a big turd."

Point is, when you get to the birthing part of your story, if you have the mother proceeding with "regular" labor (in the sense of in a hospital, drugs have been administered, and there's a doc poised between her legs telling her to push while she's glaring), you might want to watch some birthing videos. A lot of teaching hospitals will have them viewable on their websites (just type "teaching hospital" into Google).

No need to credit my Google-fu, though. I just typed in 'pregnancy week by week' and got numerous results.

[DemonGoddess]

At 2 1/2 weeks, you don't even know you're pregnant yet. That's the first thing.

Secondly, if the woman's period is regular, she'll find out in short order by missing a period, and doing a test. If the woman has irregular cycles, she could go for a few MONTHS before thinking to test.

The tenderness and breast swelling doesn't really start to happen until around 2 1/2 months. Most women don't even show until the 4th month, and depending on her personal physiology, she may not show until well in to the pregnancy. I've known women who didn't start to show until the 6th month.

Pregnancy varies with each woman, depending upon her body type, inherited factors and a few other things besides.

Not all women get morning sickness in the first trimester. For example, I didn't have anything remotely resembling morning sickness until around 7 months. That was actually caused by eating too much at one time, with the stomach being squished by the baby. So I learned to eat much smaller portions, and more frequently (think hobbit with 7 or 8 meals a day).

Depending upon the individual woman's temperament, is also how she will emotionally handle being pregnant in the first place. I know I hated the last 5 months. But then again, I'm one of those women who don't understand how anyone could possibly be happy with having physical abilities limited because of this. Never did get that, the "I love being pregnant" deal.

Depending upon how large the child is in the last trimester, and how quickly it grows, also affects how you feel physically during that time frame. The last trimester is the period of the most growth for a fetus, particularly the last month.

And then you get to labor and delivery. Each pregnancy is different. For example, I was in labor with the first one for 18 hours, the second for 8, the third for 22, the 4th one for only four, and the last one for 14 hours. Again, depending upon the size and position of the child (barring no complications) one can have a variety of issues with the actual birth. First babies are honestly the toughest to deal with for the birth itself, as the woman has NO idea what she's getting in to. I don't care how many classes you go to beforehand, there is nothing like the actual experience to really teach you what is going to happen, and prepare you for future deliveries.

All five of mine were natural deliveries. Meaning no epidural, no spinal block, none of that. Just enough pain killer to try and take the edge off the pain of the labor itself. So then you have that to look at. Depending upon what kind of drugs one is given, whether or not the birth is c-section or natural, all play in to how much it actually hurts when the time comes.

[BronxWench]

I'm in total agreement with all that DG and Rogue have said. You really don't know until you've missed your first period, and even then, it's not like you'd rush out and buy a test if you were a day late. I was extremely regular for the most part, but was late once or twice when I was trying for children without being pregnant.

I've had both a Cesarean delivery and what they call a VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Delivery. The Cesarean was not scheduled, but Teengirl was having deceleration of her heart beat with each contraction, and since I was "older" my OB wanted to err on the side of caution. You feel nothing past the pinch of the spinal, and since you;re generally draped, you see nothing until they hold up the baby, which is surprisingly quick.

Vaginal birth for me was fairly uneventful. I was in actual labor intermittently. I began in the late afternoon, it stopped at around midnight, and resumed at about three am with a vengeance, and Teenboy arrived a little more than six hours later. I had a late epidural (9.5cm dilation because my OB for that birth was an idiot and waited until shift change to call for the epi). But he was still an easy enough birth as things go. Yes, I yelled, because I focused on pushing better when I yelled. (My OB frowned at me and I asked him if he wanted to give it a go.) Yes, until the epidural, there was pain, but it never hit unendurable for me.

As far as the physical experiences of pregnancy, again, it varies with every woman you talk to. I had no morning sickness with Teengirl, gained around thirty pounds, and was not ungainly. With Teenboy, I had morning sickness from about 2 months to 4 months along, and I was fecking huge, although I still didn't gain more than thirty-five pounds. It was ALL belly, to the point where people were asking me if I was having twins. But I was fairly energetic through both pregnancies, and can't say that it was terrible, although I could have done without the awkwardness in the last trimester of Teenboy's gestation.

Edited July 1, 2013 by BronxWench

[DemonGoddess]

hahaha, the only one that was smallish was my first, but the firstborn is usually the smallest. My two largest were 24.5 and 23.5 inches long at birth. Consider that the average length is 19.5 inches, that's quite a bit more baby to have to push out.

[Dean_Wax]

Every mother related to me in my generation has been overcome by some kind of furious determination at 38-39 weeks when they haven't gone into labour yet, going for walks up and down the beach etc. to try to trigger their water breaking because they were so fed up of being pregnant.

Based on this, I can only assume the state of being heavily pregnant is very uncomfortable and/or unpleasant.

[kagome26isawsome]

Thank you ladies for your help. Hm i guess i shouldnt have had her find out she was pregnant at 2 1/2 weeks. Hm...well i got a lot to think about (after Spanish midterm of course) and i will credit each of you as i go along!

[BronxWench]

Every mother related to me in my generation has been overcome by some kind of furious determination at 38-39 weeks when they haven't gone into labour yet, going for walks up and down the beach etc. to try to trigger their water breaking because they were so fed up of being pregnant.

Based on this, I can only assume the state of being heavily pregnant is very uncomfortable and/or unpleasant.

I walked up and down hills, and drove over bumpy roads. Teenboy was a week late, too, the little darling. LMAO!

[Danyealle]

I'm gonna add mine here. Like Rogue, I did C-Section because I couldn't go into labor. As in no labor pains at all, whatsoever, for 24 hours after the water broke and they tried everything they could to induce it with nothing working. However, unlike what most here are describing, I was friggin' miserable for the whole term, all nine plus months of it (yeah, mini-me was two weeks late). I had morning sickness (read that all day long, every day) the whole time and i couldn't be around cooking hamburger unless I wanted to spend time in the bathroom. For the last two months, i couldn't wear shoes because my feet were so swollen. And I was huge though I gained no more than BW talked about. That had to do with the way I carried her. However, in contrast, my sisters can pop the lil buggers out quickly with no issue. My next youngest, she said the longest she was in labor with all hers was five hours. The first? She was in hard labor for about an hour, it. My other sister was the same way. They had no problems and no major complications when it came to their pregnancies. I was the exception. And, passed that exception onto the daughter because she had the same issues I did when she gave birth by C-Section as well And, yeah, she was it for me! We ain't doing that bit again, no way, no how, forget it!

[DemonGoddess]

Dean_Wax brought up an interesting point as well. The burst of activity isn't just to persuade your passenger to get on with it and come out, but because we all get a nesting urge the last couple weeks. Meaning there is a burst of activity DIRECTLY related to ensuring you've got all your ducks in a row, so to speak, for the arrival.

I had 2 that went late (2 and 2 1/2 weeks, and yes, they were the large ones), and the other three were all early. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that they were. Considering how big the overdue ones were, I shudder to think of how large the others would've been had they not been early. Considering that my middle girl was the earliest (she was 5 weeks early) and 8 pounds, 20 inches long at birth, she'd've been HUGE if I'd gone to term.

[Melrick]

I can't contribute to this discussion, except to say I was 11 lbs 5 1/2 oz! *Looks around smugly*

[BronxWench]

Now mind you, my water never broke on its own. Both times, my OB had to break my water. In fact, Teenboy's was broken right as they told me to push. It would have been nicer had they told me what it was, but that particular OB was vying for a spontaneous orchidectomy.

I still get teased because my Teengirl, the C-section baby, was 5 lbs 9 ounces. Teenboy, the VBAC, was 7 lbs 13 ounces. Yeah, I do things backward.

I can't contribute to this discussion, except to say I was 11 lbs 5/12 oz! *Looks around smugly*

Holy fecking shite! I hope you're VERY kind to your mum!

[DemonGoddess]

yer poor mother.

[Melrick]

All 4 of us were over 10 lbs, AND she's not a big woman. None of your half-baked runts for us, thank you very much.

AND we were all natural births.

[pittwitch]

My OB very pointedly asked me NOT to discuss my labor/delivery experience with the uninitiated. He was afraid I'd scare the women in the waiting room.

I did not realize I was pregnant with #1 until I was nearly four months - the joys of irregularity and other issues masking it. I knew instantly with #2 - to the day. No one believed me but as I was working retail at Christmas at the time, there was only one window of opportunity that month, lol.

I was not a screamer. The woman in the room across the hall was. I'm not sure what they gave her to shut her up but I was infinitely grateful for it. I did have the OB by the tie whispering very real threats at one point.

Mel - go hug your mama.

[RogueMudblood]

Like Rogue, I did C-Section because I couldn't go into labor. As in no labor pains at all, whatsoever, for 24 hours after the water broke and they tried everything they could to induce it with nothing working.

Just to give you a bit of background on mine, I don't think we'll ever know if I could have gone into labor. Though he was born premie, my child weighed over eight pounds and was over twenty inches long. There were several reasons for the C-section, though.

Where Dany couldn't be induced and Bronx's was unscheduled, my OB never tried to induce, and I was scheduled.

I had gestational diabetes, and one of the things that this will cause for the carried infant is elongated limbs. What this meant for him was that he ran out of room quicker than he should have. The doc had wanted to do the C-section in September and I told him no, not until he did an amniocentesis test. I insisted on it, because I needed to be sure my baby would be able to breathe once he was born. The first one came back negative, and at that time, he still had enough room inside that the OB judged he'd have another month. I went to the doc weekly for stress tests at minimum - others if he felt they were warranted.

They did ultrasounds about every 10 days. When it finally appeared he was completely out of room, the doc said I needed to go ahead and go across the street to the hospital and get prepped for surgery. I told him he was doing another amnio before he was putting me under the knife. He tried. The needle went in, and came back with blood. My child has a scar on his leg that he was born with because of that, actually. It's a very small nick on his shin, which he finds amusing because it nearly matches the one on my own left leg.

He called over to the hospital and they scheduled me for the next day. (I won't go into the nightmare about the hospital at this point. If you want to get those details when you get closer to writing about your character's delivery, I can share them then. )

At this point, my baby was still breach.

There are moments in your life where terror grasps your heart and time seems to stop. The entire experience that day was one of those moments. But I will tell you that the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my entire life was the sound of my baby crying that day. Because that meant he could breathe.

We ain't doing that bit again, no way, no how, forget it!

LMAO - and I for one don't blame you at all!

Melrick, I hope your mum gets good dinners from you lot every year.

[Kurahieiritr]

Pregnancy food cravings: To be honest even I do not understand the twisted foods I was eating, or why I could not do the reasonable swap outs over the course of the day. I was driven batty until I ate these really revolting combinations. My now ex hubby would be the one running most often to the bathroom with the fits of nausea over the bizarre foods I was chowing down on incessantly. I've been told by other moms that I craved really strange food combinations, and I am not talking the often mentioned pickles and ice cream status quot. I did have the morning sickness, usually after the sun went down which tapered off around 3 am most nights.

I was strangely obsessed with BBQ potato chips, licorice candy, and spaghetti sauce on ice cream. (yes at the same exact time as toppings for Butter pecan ice cream no less-Revolted yet?) I ate garlic pickles with berry flavored yogurt and peperchinis and funions brand chips (SP?) when not cramming the other down my throat as if my life depended upon it. The two biggest and weirdest food combo's never coincided for which I remain very grateful to this day. Another strange food combo I ate often was kippered snacks with mustard and orange marmalade on rye bread. Just typing that out is making me shudder.

To this day, after my second son was born, I can not stomach BBQ flavored Potato Chips, and rarely can handle more than a coupe bites of BBQ smothered meat before I gag. Same goes with Butter pecan ice cream. Even spaghetti sauce is a very rare edible because I ate so much of it when I was pregnant both times. I had to switch out ice cream favorites and a lot of other items after my second son. ROFL. Both of my living children were discovered before I had any clue I was pregnant. I went in for regular medical check ups because I was on birth control. I have had seven miscarriages because of not having a medical check up. My second was discovered at 5 weeks, so I had to have medications changed. Luckily I was on a drug that required blood tests to make sure levels were fine.

Like everyone else that has ever given birth is saying, each birth is a unique process. Some of us have nightmare labors, yet we do it all over again because we love our children so much that the temporary downsides can't possibly overcome the joys of watching our little ones grow, learn and change into remarkable human beings.

The pregnancy & birth ordeal: I was completely bed ridden for seven months with my second child. He was mercifully smaller than the first. My first was 10 pounds 11 and 1/2 oz and a C section because my right hip was pinned together a year before, after a riding accident where the 1900 pound horse fell on top of me. The horse went down so fast I could not escape the saddle so his weight falling on top of me crushed a big chunk of my body.

Both times I gave birth, I was over 4 weeks late for delivery, and had aged placenta break away before the actual births happened. One son was 10 and 1/2 months, the other a week shy of 11 months. My water never broke because the embryonic fluid bag was way too thick also. It was miserable being in active labor so long and the water not breaking to allow for the birthing process to progress. My second son was 6 pounds and 12 oz, so he was reasonable for natural birth once they managed to get my water bag busted and the birth progressed over many hours. Both labors wiped me out because I was in active for an insane number of hours. My first was 3 days of harder level labor pains without result, the second was 39 hours which ended with a baby in my arms. I had an epidural because they assumed I would need a second c section, but the hip had healed enough that it unlocked so I could have natural birth the second time around. I was one of those who showed nothing at all, not even a missed period until the 5th month with either pregnancy. I carried against my spine though. Having the babies against the spine can be difficult when they start kicking. If they are in the wrong position, you find yourself on the ground cause the spine gets hit and that can make a mess of your stride as I found out the hard way. Both my sons were football and soccer stars before birth. They kept me from sleeping for 4 months. I would sit in a rocking chair to get relief since the motion soothed them enough that they would sleep, even if I could not.

I hear folks say that I am lucky to have survived either birth, and they are probably correct. However, I would not change anything I went through when I look at both my grown sons. Despite their flaws, they remain my greatest pride, joy, and heart break because they are both my precious babies. They grew up to be strong men. It was all worth it even if I do still have moments where I wonder how nuts I was to go through it twice. Chukles@myself.

Edited July 2, 2013 by Kurahieiritr

[kagome26isawsome]

i dont know if this was answered or not but when you have your first doctor appointment at a month (or 2) of pregnancy, dont you get a ultrasound and what can you see from that ultrasound?

[DemonGoddess]

When I was still bearing, if the doctor opted for ultrasound, it was usually second trimester and later.

[pittwitch]

Unless there's issues, the normal US is 2nd Trimester (4 months or more.) They now do 3-D US that are COOLio! Depending on the baby's position - you can see everything.

[kagome26isawsome]

okay thanks! Also i totally forgot about this last night but if you need to fly somewhere, when can the doctor or the airport people tell you its not possible being pregnant and all? I heard by the end of your second trimester that you no longer can fly....

[BronxWench]

Honestly, the only prohibition I ever heard on flying was the common sense provision that you don't fly when you're about two weeks from your due date. Babies pay no attention to due dates, and arrive on their own schedules. My first was a week early and my second a week late.