Vocabulary Turn-offs

[Miss_Lizbet]

(I've seen the following in various fics: Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Kami-sama... but no one mentioned Cthulhu. Yet.)

I am totally inspired to write about a violently intense orgasm, during which the one coming shouts, "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!"

That would be the most hilarious, and amazing, invocation of a deity's name during a money shot EVER WRITTEN.

[jlori10]

That's the way screaming fangirls are. I can't even try to imagine squeezing a HUMAN baby out my piss hole and I'm female. Just no. If he didn't die from the pain, blood lose or trauma then he won't even have a dick.

In the fic the baby CAME out of his penis. It Came out. And some how, just some how in the magical world it worked. I was too busy scrubbing my brain with Industrial Strength Brain Bleach to even consider reading more.

I see nothing cute or erotic about giving birth to a screaming, wet, pink blood covered thing out a hole the size of a lemon, or in the case of MPREG, much smaller.

Maybe the girls that write that stuff have issues with wanting a baby or something

There's also a good chance that the ones writing the Mpreg have already had babies and just thoroughly enjoy the very idea of seeing men suffer through it as well. Bwhahahaha! As an admitted 'screaming fangirl', who is currently in the process of writing an Mpreg story, I must say that this is a distinct possibility. Of course, I wasn't nearly so generous as many of the others. I didn't give my character a vagina because... Well, that's just kind of gross. I decided to let my character's baby rip right through his abdominal cavity. That said, he'd better hope to hell that there's a doctor around when that baby's ready to come out! Woohoo! Hurray for Mpreg! BTW I noticed that you guys didn't even begin to discuss the intricasies of breastfeeding. Hmmm. What's with that?

[Satai Delenn]

I was told once that a lot of naughty words, came from German, could 'schlong' be one of them?

Well, since Yiddish is a direct combination of Hebrew and German, then... yes.

B. His hard serpant cock struck hard and viscious like a viper, penetrating his partner's innocent channel like a predator. If you dress it up it works.

So some one is being fucked by a staff with a snake head on it ?

Dear lord, I now have an image of Lucius Malfoy in my head! lol.

OK, wow. I cannot believe I just spent the past hour reading through this whole thread. Well, this confirms my desire for a beta. Unfortunately, no one seems to want to be my beta, and since I'm now more extremely insecure with my writing than I was before, I guess it will be a long time coming before I post any of my fanfic stories. *sigh*

As for spelling/grammar? I'm a spelling/grammar Nazi. I cannot stand seeing words grammatically misspelled. For example: Loose when it should be LOSE. Yes, you read right! It should be LOSE! or taunt when it should be taut, as in "her TAUT nipples." I cannot tell you how many times I have screamed in frustration and wanted to break down in tears upon reading that in fics. I wanted to write to the author and say, "So, what? Was the guy taunting her nipples? 'nanny nanny boo-boo! Your nipples are too small and red!'"

I have to say though, that I'm American, yet I find that I'm incorporating more British terms into my vocabulary for everyday use. Maybe it's because I focus my writing in the British realm (i.e. "Harry Potter" as well as my original novels). So, I find that I prefer "arse" to "ass" any day of the week.

As for words to use in place of "penis," well, when I stumbled across "schlong" in here it also made me think of "schmuck." Though, tecnichally you can't use "schmuck" because of the meaning of it. Yes, it means "prick" but more in the sense of, "Johnny is being such a schmuck" rather than, "Johnny's schmuck..." see? Can't be used.

[Clockwork_Knight]

opened an umbrella up his ass

jets of cum

Mighty cannon

sweet seed

like golf balls shooting through a garden hose

moisture pouring out between her legs

rock hard, throbbing cock

steaming slit

teacup-sized breasts( How do you find out if some one has tea cup sized breasts ? Stuff them into a cup ?)

drip with juices

She washed over him ( Is she giving him a bath or is she a water elemental ? I can't tell )

slick and salty as an oyster. ( Eating raw oysters is like eating salty snot. Not sexy)

cosmic eye-fuck

cockrub warriors

deep, dark, tight black hole of delight

I am going to go scrub my brain now with Industrial Brain Bleach and write good non con porn

[mgcypher]

Omg this thread is fucking WIN. I've been laughing non-stop for the last half hour. Also, reading through the archives I found this one:

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103058

I rofl'd thoroughly. I don't even know why. It wasn't hot at all and I ended up getting too pissed at the guy anyway. Also, for those who claim cum is sweet, they've obviously been living in their own dreamworld and never tasted it.

[kagome26isawsome]

I try not to use those words too often. Yes they do throw me off sometimes but what really makes me move on to another story is when they misspelled words! There are times that they are soo bad that i have to stop and try to figure out what they are before i continue and if i dont figure it out, i just shake my head and move on to another story.

[KerantliDreamer]

My main vocabulary turn off has to be ANY slang for condom. I'm sorry, but its not a johnny, or a rubber, or raincoat or anything like that its a condom!

[mgcypher]

I prefer the technical terms. Otherwise, I will dwell on the word.

Of course, I read/write slash to avoid the 'vagina' word altogether... is there no nice-sounding word for that part of a woman's anatomy?

I don't think there is...at least nothing that doesn't sound too...ambiguous. Like "flower."

"He thrust his erect penis into her soft, moist daisy, pulling in and out."

[Calanthee]

I don't think there is...at least nothing that doesn't sound too...ambiguous. Like "flower."

"He thrust his erect penis into her soft, moist daisy, pulling in and out."

"He inserted his hardness between the soft petals of her moist warm core and slide it slowly in and out with careful enthusiasm!"

What do you people have against poetic metaphors? Already? Accept for Hard Meat Stick, which is just nasty! Cal

[mgcypher]

"He inserted his hardness between the soft petals of her moist warm core and slide it slowly in and out with careful enthusiasm!"

What do you people have against poetic metaphors? Already? Accept for Hard Meat Stick, which is just nasty! Cal

I guess it just seems a little too...weird when you write it as another object. I'm not a fan of using something like "rock-hard dick" either though because that just sounds painful, hah.

[Calanthee]

Since most adult-oriented writers on AFF main aim is to write or verbalize something shockingly hot and sexy in their story, with all you sensitive reader/critics being so bazaarly particular and fussy about the words actually used. I don't see how any of these authors can ever truly succeed.... but alas yet they do, and thats because these more experienced writers... write what they feel is sexy to them personally and that's the only thing they can go by and that is the only thing that matters in the end, for you can't please everyone in the end.

Words are like colorful paints on a artist's pallet the more you work and use them the better you get at adjusting hues, shades, and shadows. But still there is alway someone out there who enjoys being a critic just because he or she can. Don't let the critics discourage you, just do the best you can and remember some of these same cowardly critics probabley never put a pen to paper to write anything like a story.

As for the critics that actually write and endeavor to teach or make suggestions... listen to what they have to say, don't be insulted by their thoughts and imppressions, but know in the end you are still the master of your own story or tale, so please and satisfy yourself first.

Just know the difference between a proper choice of words and something that is utterly completely doppy, silly and certainly not sexy, it completely breaks the particular mood your trying to create.

Don't be discouraged by anything or anyone. Keep writing, afterall, Calanthee needs NEW dirty stories to read!!!

Edited January 30, 2011 by Calanthee

[LockedBox]

I'm sorry about reviving an old thread but I have to vent. I hate it when people use the word "sex" as a noun. I've seen it a lot in some of the older fandoms like sherlock holmes, more specifically the stories that deal with an older, conservative and refined character or society. I get where they are coming from, its difficult to find a word that doesn't sound silly and yet it does sound like something a refined and sophisticated person would say, but still, "sex"? It is clearly a verb, not a noun. Using it as a noun just doesn't sound right. Just have a read,

"he pulled his pants away, revealing his sex, which was rigid and moist"

It doesn't sound right does it? At least it doesn't sound right to me. I mean, if your character is a very uptight and sophisticated person then why not just call it a penis, or erection or what ever common name applies. If I was an uptight socialite I would call it by a "soft" nickname when in public (manhood, for instance) and when in private I would just call it by it's name.

Just my personal opinion, but I doubt I'm the only one.

[sumeragichan]

I don't know.... Sex does have its noun meanings in reference to gender really. I can see how that would work more so than not, but each to their own. Then again, I call a spade a god-damned spade if it's proper name. So I would be more offended by ridiculously fluffy veiled references than a rather bland, almost generically scientific or medical way of calling something myself. At least it's not too far fetched. Although metaphor has it's place... Just no dirty pillows please!

Just my two cents really. Again, each to their own.

Edited March 28, 2012 by Hopebringer Jem

[Hairyhaggis]

interesting, I don't think any word is particularly a turn off but rather the way it is used in the story. If the story is about a couple MDs I'd half expect the sexual act to be described technically but if it was a couple randy men or m/f who'd been, out got sloshed and then ended up having sex I'd expect pussy, anus, dick etc if that suddenly went bollywood I would be O.O so I guess words like flower to describe a womans bits would be a turn off in that situation.

What i can't stand are scenes that say he put his penis in her vagina and moving rhythmically they began to copulate. Reminds me of the 80s sex ed vids you got at school eww no thanks.

Edited April 8, 2012 by Hairyhaggis

[ArceusAlpha493]

I am not usually bothered by some terms but these that are overused annoy me:

pussy

fuck

cock

and many others are complete turn offs and I leave the story after that.

It does rub me the wrong way when some sex slang is the only words they can think of which is sad. Now I don't mind those like womanhood/femalehood, malehood, flower in a poetic way, love making, sex fluids, heat(mostly when a female legendary pokemon, female pokemon, or any other female human or pokemon to refer to their heat cycle or estrus.), and length, and seed

[ShadowsPale]

As a reader, I shudder at stumbling across these words:

Love muffin

Man rod

Tuna taco (Yes, I have read about a lover slurping a tuna taco)

Furry clam

Oddly, the stories were otherwise decently written.

However, as a reader/writer I prefer cock instead of penis. The use of the word penis sends me back to sex ed in school. I can still hear the teacher saying paynis and va geyena. I now snicker everytime I hear or read those words.

The use of dick, prick or pussy makes me think of the teen males in the area I grew up. They were always telling each other to suck their dick, how big their pricks were or how the bitch they had banged the night before had a tight pussy.

The word pussy makes me snicker as well as my neighbor would stand in her yard calling all seven of hers.

Edited June 11, 2012 by ShadowsPale

[Lisbet_Adair]

I'm a fan of using "cock" as my primary description for male genitalia. Even though some people around me say dick, it's just not in common parlance enough for me to think "my English characters would be comfortable with this. And "cock" is pretty countrywide in its usage.

Fortunately, no female characters have been involved in my sex scenes, otherwise it might be a bit of a dilemma. "Fanny" is the most common word used around me, and I know that's potentially confusing for American readers.

[Shadowknight12]

I like the word "cunt" myself, mainly because I butcher a British accent something fierce and saying "You can't!" makes me giggle. Reminds me of the old wordplay "you can't say cunt in Canada" where the hilarity was that they pronounced "can't" and "cunt" exactly the same.

[Shinju]

As a reader, I shudder at stumbling across these words:

Love muffin

Man rod

Tuna taco (Yes, I have read about a lover slurping a tuna taco)

Furry clam

If you are going down on a girl and her taco smells like tuna, it's time to call her a cab. I was about to have mexican food after this and now it's ruined . . . .

[ShadowsPale]

I have to agree to that. I found the term so revolting I didn't finish reading. Furry clam is just bad. I keep seeing a clam that needs to be shaved which put me off clam chowder for months.

[reves_damour]

I'm more interested in how accurately the words describe the situation than in what words are used. A description of a '15-inch penis' can be perfectly okay in a story about dinosaur sex, it's really stretching it if they're human adults, and it just isn't imaginable when they're minors (and yes, I have seen stories of the last category). People really should learn basic anatomy. A six inch penis is pretty decently sized for an adult, especially considering the size of what it needs to fit into.

The aforementioned 'fuzzy clam' meaning vagina is pretty good example of bad use of non-concrete language. The author was probably combining the tightness of a clam and the pubic hair, but it came off to me and the previous poster as a clam (the bivalve) with hair on/in it. A good description or descriptive word either has only one reasonable way of being interpreted, or is a double entendre.

Units of measure can be very good in that they can be far more precise than descriptives (though I would stay away from dick measurements - it's way overused). The problem is that preciseness puts an additional burden on the author. Exaggeration with units is usually not okay (unless _so_ farfetched as to be obvious, eg., "I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant."). On the other hand, a good measurement can be very useful. "They hiked 15 kilometres" or "they hiked until midday" will give the reader a better idea of how much effort was involved than "they hiked a long time" or "they hiked and were tired."

Just be careful that the numbers you choose make sense and that they convey what you want to mean. If a character in your story is described as being 8ft6in, then you're going to need to be very careful in what sex acts they partake in. Some of them might be very awkward, especially if the woman is 4ft3in (half the height and 1/8th the weight assuming equal proportions). Likewise, that guy with the 21-inch dick (probably the longest length I've ever seen in an actual story) is going to have some serious fainting issues trying to supply enough blood to fill it (the volume is comparable to the blood in an average body), and I sure hope that the woman has a vagina extending well into her chest cavity (or the guy a very accomodating large intestine).

[Ajwf]

I loved that post... Made me tear up a bit laughing.

[GuardianSoulBlade]

I don't really have any word turn offs, sex slang works in PWP, but I actually prefer stories I read to have an actual plot and then there just happens to be a love scene in there. On FF.net there's a good Teen Titans author who writes sex scenes, but she's also married and has kids so she actually knows what she's writing about, and has lots of interesting author's notes regarding the subject. Her scens are what peopel would call "hot" but they don't use a whole lot of sex slang.

[DirtyHaven]

Furry clam sounds more funny than sexy, if I used it, I'd use it in humorous context.

Rather than vocabulary, what kinda puts me off in an erotic story is a first person narrator who's telling the stuff in present tense. For some reason, I just prefer past tense and a third person view.

[cowgirl65]

I find it interesting to read how some people's turn offs are what turn others on. For example, the 'cum/come' comment. If I read a sex scene and one character says, "Come for me", or uses the spelling 'come' to describe semen, I think of someone calling their dog, not of someone achieving orgasm. It cools the scene down for me and I'm several decades from being a teenager.

Just goes to show the wonderful diversity that abounds, everyone can find something to their own taste.

Edited November 13, 2012 by cowgirl65