Vocabulary Turn-offs

[DireAfterglow]

Have you ever been reading a fanfic that was rather good, and just as you were getting into a really hot sex scene, you read one word that hits you like a brick wall?

I'm not sure how many times it's happened to me, but plenty enough that I get hella frustrated.

Some examples I can think of:

Penis

Vagina

Anus

Rectum

Meat-stick

Love-lump

Rod

Juices

Moist

Pussy (I can deal with it rarely...)

Weiner

Man-meat

(And I kid you not, I have seen these and many more that I can't even think of written into a serious sex scene. Most of mine seem to be either ridiculous or very clinical, neither of which I would want to think of describing something sexy or sensual...)

So what words do it for you? Or, well...don't do it for you?

[Becca Star]

Yeah... I've come across some fics that need a little better vocab when it comes to the smut scenes but for the most part it doesn't bother me though it does interrupt the flow of the story...

What really gets me is when there's just TOO many grammar and spelling problems.. It's to the point where if it's saved on my computer to read later on I start editing it as I read...

When it's that bad no matter how much I try to continue on I just press the back button and forget about the story completely...

These of course are the reasons why I look into an editor/beta of some kind... With my Boyfriend even though he too has problems with spelling and grammar, when we read it out loud together we'll find the problems with wording and grammar and so forth, correct it and thus making the fic just a little bit better. I really wish others would take the time to do the same! They'd get more reviews, hits, and ratings if they did!

[Guest yramjb]

Have you ever been reading a fanfic that was rather good, and just as you were getting into a really hot sex scene, you read one word that hits you like a brick wall?

I'm not sure how many times it's happened to me, but plenty enough that I get hella frustrated.

So what words do it for you? Or, well...don't do it for you?

Throbbing member

Dripping

Impaled

Love box

Nectar

Juices

Slammed

"Bit down" -- all I think is "OUCH!"

"Grinned against her fill-in-the-blank"

Cum (I so vastly prefer "come")

Spunk (as a synonym for semen)

Jizzim

"Tongues battled"

Tail -- sometimes I'm reading a sex fic with no warning that the person is in fact half-cat and I go...whoa!

Edited February 6, 2008 by yramjb

[cu-kid9]

Schlong

Twat

Tits

Melons (why compare breasts to fruit? I just don't get it)

Those are all I can think of right now without repeating previous lists.

Tail -- sometimes I'm reading a sex fic with no warning that the person is in fact half-cat and I go...whoa!

That happened to me once and I just stared at the screen for a minute, trying to figure out what was going on, and then said, "OH NO!" and closed the tab on my browser.

[EveKnight75]

I don't think I have a trigger word in that respect.

I do get irked if a certain word is overused. When I read a sex-fic, I don't want to read the word "cock" 15 times in one paragraph. I don't care if you're referring to rooster sex. Vocabulary moderation is important.

I think my trigger word in fanfiction is "defiantly". There are way too many instances of "defiantly" being used in place of "definitely" and I can neither understand nor tolerate this.

[Tricia1224]

I don't really have any trigger words. Grammar and spelling are two of the things I pay the most attention to. Using "defiantly" when the word is supposed to be "definitely" irks me as well. Spell check is my best friend when I am writing.

[Pokeprof]

Concidering my own sexual vocabularaly is kinda small, I don't have that much against certain words. As long as they're spelt correctly and aren't putting the same word in every sentance to describe a persons' parts, then I'm happy.

[Keith Inc.]

A reader complained that i used member and manhood in my Noah's Ark story. Overused euphemisms.

I suppose i could have copied one fic i read that used 'penis' four times in one paragraph (with two different spellings).

Or invented an antediluvian version of 'Heat-seeking moisture-missile.' Lordly staff of divinely mandated repopulation? Or referred to his tent pole?

Feh.

I try to keep from too much repetition. Too much repetition seems to kill a story by repetition, at least is seems to me too much of the time.

So somewhere between 'swagger stick' and 'mirthful mouthful' i'll probably use penis a time or two. Just to keep it from too much repetition, you konw?

[DodgeSuperBee]

I've never minded the clinical terms at the top of the list in the OP, but too goofy or flowery and I'm thrown off. Most of those that refer to food or flowers make me laugh. If you can't type "meat stick" or "love lump" without giggling or cringing, your readers won't be able to get past that term either.

I get more annoyed reading the same term every sentence. IMHO, I think a writer in doubt would do better to omit the term altogether and let the reader fill in the action in his or her mind with his or her own acceptable vocabulary words.

More awful by far is describing in detail or actual measurement units the guy's size. Few characters would take a ruler into the bedroom, so how about describing how the thing does its job rather than its dimensions?

[DemonGoddess]

Or invented an antediluvian version of 'Heat-seeking moisture-missile.' Lordly staff of divinely mandated repopulation? Or referred to his tent pole?

[PretentiousArtWhore]

I think bad writing in general turns me off rather than any particular word. I usually finish the fics, though, (I must have a masochistic streak somewhere) no matter how Godsawful they are, just to learn from them.

[AmberRose]

If I have to read about one more "weeping member" or tongues "battling for dominance" I'm going to lose it. Not so much that it's a turn off it's just SO overdone. Once or twice in a fic is fine but six times in one chapter is a bit much.

Other un-sexy words that need to be used sparingly:

Anus

Hole

Folds

Cunt

[Calanthee]

I thought the correct spelling was cum... not come... for that activity, but of course in the past tense... it is still... He came. Come now what's wrong with the word "IMPALED" I personally think it is a perfectly damn good word, especially if the sexual act takes place in a seated position. So I confess I have used it .... so shoot me! Here is a little poetic ditty just for you:

She was coming around the mountain, when she came

When the chains of her bicycle broke

She was caught in grass with the fender up her ass

And her tits going around in the spokes

A Large throbbing member of AFFnet, Evil Cal

Throbbing member

Dripping

Impaled

Love box

Nectar

Juices

Slammed

"Bit down" -- all I think is "OUCH!"

"Grinned against her fill-in-the-blank"

Cum (I so vastly prefer "come")

Spunk (as a synonym for semen)

Jizzim

"Tongues battled"

Tail -- sometimes I'm reading a sex fic with no warning that the person is in fact half-cat and I go...whoa!

[Ginevra]

I can't recall being turned of on a fic because of a single word or phrase...But I do hate overly florid euphemisms like "purple headed warrior," "love pudding," or "throbbing manhood." Blech!

I actually prefer the terms "cock" and "cum" if I'm reading or writing something graphic. I have an aversion to the word "cunt" but it would take more than one instance to make me drop a fic on that basis alone. "Pussy" I can deal with in moderation, it doesn't have the same negative impact. "Dick" is all right in moderation too, though it strikes me as a little wimpy compared to cock.

If it's hardcore sex, I like to see or use the hardcore terms. Clinical terms are OK in moderation. For tender love scenes, I prefer avoidance or milder terms.

More words I don't care for: Jizm, spunk, love juice, and many other rather disgusting or cheesy terms for semen that I just can't remember right now.

But as I've written a fair bit of smut now, I do see and understand how difficult it can be to come up with new ways to describe these things. I do try to vary my language when I write and prefer to see others do the same.

[Calanthee]

Did you and Dick have a nice time???

Once I had to stop reading because of:

fuck

dick

...

[JayDee]

I enjoy and indeed use manu of the words listed.

I guess if there's any word that would stop me reading a story, it would usually be through a contextual use that indicated I wasn't going to especially enjoy a fetish of the writers. Take foot, for example. In any normal story it is not an issue. A foot or even feet may be referred to many times over and simply be part of the plot or characterisations or narrative or what have you. No problem there. But on realising that a seemingly worthwhile fanfiction is going to devolve into three thousand words of foot worship I'll read something else instead with no disrespect to the writer. I recently found an example where this also applied to Garlic Bread of all things.

[ChibiUkon]

I HATE the word shit... I wish we could just do AWAY with that word all together!

Also Dick and Twat... you could easily just call is penis or vagina or something more poetic like lenght or warmth.

Edited February 11, 2008 by ChibiUkon

[Solaris]

How about calling the breasts pillows?

Now that turned me off as I was reading a good smut and then the character reached up and gently squeezed her ample sized pillows. I was like uh, he squeezed her pillow? and it took me a while before I realized that they meant breasts!

But by the time I realized that, I had already left the story and went for another one. It just chased me off.

Beth

[DireAfterglow]

Sometimes I don't think people even bother to run it through a basic spell check...*shakes head* I mean I'm no grammar nazi and I make plenty of mistakes myself and quite often, but I think if you're going to publish something online you should at least have the common decency to use a spell/grammar check...

...*spell and grammar checked the above just in case*

Yeah... I've come across some fics that need a little better vocab when it comes to the smut scenes but for the most part it doesn't bother me though it does interrupt the flow of the story...

What really gets me is when there's just TOO many grammar and spelling problems.. It's to the point where if it's saved on my computer to read later on I start editing it as I read...

When it's that bad no matter how much I try to continue on I just press the back button and forget about the story completely...

These of course are the reasons why I look into an editor/beta of some kind... With my Boyfriend even though he too has problems with spelling and grammar, when we read it out loud together we'll find the problems with wording and grammar and so forth, correct it and thus making the fic just a little bit better. I really wish others would take the time to do the same! They'd get more reviews, hits, and ratings if they did!

[DireAfterglow]

Wow, that’s unattractive…I don’t know what’s so pillow-like about boobs anyhow…*shrug* That and all it makes me do is think of Carrie and ‘dirty pillows‘, which uber-crazy-religious mammas isn‘t necessarily what I want to think about when I‘m reading something sexy…XD

How about calling the breasts pillows?

Now that turned me off as I was reading a good smut and then the character reached up and gently squeezed her ample sized pillows. I was like uh, he squeezed her pillow? and it took me a while before I realized that they meant breasts!

But by the time I realized that, I had already left the story and went for another one. It just chased me off.

Beth

[Kanashii]

Wow!

You guys are a tough crowd!

No using the words....

Pussy

vagina

twat

folds

nether lips

moisture

cunt

or...

impaled

fucked

cum

or...

dick

penis

rod

member

Well drats.....What the hell is left?

"Tom grabbed Susies _______ as he twisted her________ then inserted his finger roughly into her______

she moaned in passion as she ground her _________ against him and then began to guide his________

into her_______,________. "

Well now THAT kind of story would make me quit reading real fast. It would be like that "Mad libs" game.

Maybe I oughta write a smut piece just like the above and leave the blanks for all verbs, nouns and adjectives and let the readers insert their own according to their turn-offs or ons.

See, I'm a very EASY to please reader. All I ask is you have some decent grammar (no I'm not a grammar policewoman, and I don't mind the occasional typos) If someone wants to describe MALE anatomy as "Dick, penis, rod, member, throbbing, etc" I'm not going to have a hissy about it and quit reading their story...

Personally, as a woman, I don't get the big aversion to the word cunt, either....(Unless someone is CALLING someone that name to be rude) nor do I have an aversion to calling it a twat, pussy, vagina, etc.

Sometimes I think people are just waaaaaaaaaaaay to overly offended in todays world. But that is just my humble opinion.

Warmly,

[Lost_Soul]

How about calling the breasts pillows?

Now that turned me off as I was reading a good smut and then the character reached up and gently squeezed her ample sized pillows. I was like uh, he squeezed her pillow? and it took me a while before I realized that they meant breasts!

But by the time I realized that, I had already left the story and went for another one. It just chased me off.

Beth

Yeah, I'm like that too when it comes to these weird phrases/slang people come up with for sexual ministrations and sexual body parts! Though... I do agree with most on what words are turn offs. And I also don't like the same words to be used repetitively in a story, it just seems boring and it shows me that the person has little vocabulary to go by when writing. >_< I also can't stand bad grammar, as BeccaStar has mentioned, just slows you down when you read the story and it just gets annoying and confusing for me; because of my language/grammar barrier sense english being my second language, I'm used to the correct english way of words used and put together in a sentence, etc. I try to use a variety of words in my stories to explain something so it doesn't seem like I'm over using a word sense that is also a pet peeve of mine. I do use arousal to explain a persons... penis, cock? (sorry guys who squirm to these words) XD; I have yet to decide on how to explain a womans... arousal without it sounding tacky or a turn off but sound tasteful. Ah well, I don't know if I'll have actual sex in my story, so I guess I don't have to worry about it then huh? lol XD

[DemonGoddess]

Like I said, my big thing isn't so much words as a descriptive, but words used wrongly. Or the use of "unwords". THAT really gets me.

[Guest MortiferLascivio]

For some reason, the word "entrance" when used in a gay sex scene really bothers me. I dunno, maybe it's the fact that the anus isn't actually meant to be an entrance, but an exit. I prefer the usage of other words when it comes to that. This is really recent too; I think I even used that word way back when.

I also dislike the word "cavern" when referring to someone's mouth, or love hole when referring to someone's well...you know.

And I think I read the word "beaver" in a yuri story once. I couldn't take the story seriously after that.

[JayDee]

Celebrity names is the way to goK

"Tom grabbed Susies Jolies as he twisted her Cruise then inserted his finger roughly into her Witherspoon she moaned in passion as she ground her Madonna against him and then began to guide his Richard Gere

into her Fatty Arbuckle"