Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[Guest Guest]

Another question, again regarding Mark, why bother to gag her? Won't he naturaly assume -since she wanted him dead - that she will naturaly not only be horribly distressed that he wasn't dead, but is in fact raping her at the behest of the very people she trusted to kill him for her assume her secrets have already been betrayed, and try to lie?

Also, since he was already kidnapped, tortured, even with his brother being respected (something they just overlooked for a few days) what would keep him from ratting?

[Guest Guest]

Just to drive this point home. Mark has to die. He can give a detailed description of at least one of his kidnappers (Kitty) and as the brother of a member of Parliment, British intelligence would be keeping extra close watch, and his brother would push for a full investigation. Saying Lara kidnapped him isn't feesible as she is known to be on a dig, and has been there for weeks before his abduction.

[Guest Guest]

Also, she lacks motive, and it will implicate xavier, the man so many respected witnesses know she is in an intimate relationship with at that time. Just saying.

[MorbidFantasy]

Another question, again regarding Mark, why bother to gag her? Won't he naturaly assume -since she wanted him dead - that she will naturaly not only be horribly distressed that he wasn't dead, but is in fact raping her at the behest of the very people she trusted to kill him for her assume her secrets have already been betrayed, and try to lie?

Also, since he was already kidnapped, tortured, even with his brother being respected (something they just overlooked for a few days) what would keep him from ratting?

The kidnap+torture is to show Mark that they can get to him at any time, AND they have no scruples against killing him. Not killing him is merely a preference (or so they tell him).

They don't actually respect his brother or anything (that's just an explanation that played up to Mark's reliance on his brother). They might even be lying about not killing him. Currently the main objective is turning Mark against Lara.

Gagging Lara is just a precaution (by Xavier+co) so once she hears Mark's version of her backstory she can't argue against the load of bullshit Kitty's sold Mark into believing.

Currently Mark believes both of them to be in some part of London, in an underground sex dungeon of sorts. He will never see anyone other than Lara (and Kitty). Once he's done with Lara, he'll be knocked out, then sent back to England, where he will assume he never left. Since Kitty is rarely, if ever, seen in public,

As for Mark's not ratting, I'm going off of the unwritten assumption that offering him cheap pussy (which is going to tie into a large human trafficking operation that Everest Inc is running back in UK+globally, which I intend to co

[Guest Guest]

must say I'm a huge fan of your stories. Are they inspired by something like other works or do you just pull awesome per year stuff out of your head. Hope to read more soon!

[Guest guest]

Loved the latest chapter- Chapter 35 mark Tremaine. The sentence about the ‘clients list of requests’ for Lara made me grin, may I ask what they are?

Also I would really like a list of the things on the thumb drive, I’ve spent a lot of time imagining what they are…

I am really looking forward to the Lara/Mark ‘session’.

I love the false background Kitty made up for Lara.

I really like the bad guys plan; confuse and break Lara down emotionally and mentally it is done on a more detailed level than anything I’ve seen before.

[Guest Just a foreigner]

Just a foreigner recently found FMC on internet by coincidence.

Love it so much that i have to leave a reply.

English is not my native language so please forgive me using google translation~

Not familiar with the language + A little bit of imagination = Incredible erection

YOU ARE GENIUS!

[MorbidFantasy]

Getting back to locking down the Mark+Lara chapter so figured I'd drop by to let you guys know what's on my mind and answer some questions.

Also, she lacks motive, and it will implicate xavier, the man so many respected witnesses know she is in an intimate relationship with at that time. Just saying.

I somehow missed this question until now. Although I did say the plan was to offer Mark cheap pussy to keep him quiet, I'm working in a more fail-safe plan for keeping him from talking. Remember, he's only here because Lara made the mistake of uttering his name.

must say I'm a huge fan of your stories. Are they inspired by something like other works or do you just pull awesome per year stuff out of your head. Hope to read more soon!

I read a lot of hentai/doujin back in the day. Most of them can be found on g.e-hentai.org. Here's a few series/artists I really dug that can be found there.

Artist: Carmine, of the Crimson Comics circle

I just really appreciate the art style, and generally dig the non-con theme of nearly all of CC's releases. Some of FMC's earlier chapters were written with Crimson Comics on the mind

Artist: Mukai Masayoshi

Series: Dawn of the Silver Dragon

Holy shit this series had me going even before I fully understood what was going on with the release of translations since I don't read Japanese. Although I thought the mind control made things too easy and the ending wasn't to my tastes, the artwork was top notch, esp in Volume 2 when Celes is being turned into a sex slave that cannot refuse orders even if she wants to.

Other Artists: Hellabunna, mtsp, inomaru

Most of these artists are either straight up rape, or blackmail/netorare. Some of them have con works but I generally didn't take any inspiration from those.

Early chapters of FMC had me unwittingly writing "ahegao" themes (japanese porn term for "fucked silly") in. Although ahegao still does work my mojo I'm moving away from those themes for my own benefit as well as for the critical readers who rightly considered my turning Lara into a fuck doll to be too mundane.

Loved the latest chapter- Chapter 35 mark Tremaine. The sentence about the ‘clients list of requests’ for Lara made me grin, may I ask what they are?

Also I would really like a list of the things on the thumb drive, I’ve spent a lot of time imagining what they are…

I am really looking forward to the Lara/Mark ‘session’.

I love the false background Kitty made up for Lara.

I really like the bad guys plan; confuse and break Lara down emotionally and mentally it is done on a more detailed level than anything I’ve seen before.

There's gonna be a bit of role playing here, and since I'm working to collate/purge ideas from multiple drafts, what's going to be in the final chapter is still up in the air. Still, here's the one constant. The gag stays on

Just a foreigner recently found FMC on internet by coincidence.

Love it so much that i have to leave a reply.

English is not my native language so please forgive me using google translation~

Not familiar with the language + A little bit of imagination = Incredible erection

YOU ARE GENIUS!

A foreign fan!? How cool. I'm glad my sick sexual tastes can transcend language barriers, haha.

I'll be posting more updates soon since I'm finally getting back into a smut writing vibe.

[MorbidFantasy]

"Chapter 36: The Importance of Memory" is up.

I've mentioned before I wanted to include the supernatural elements of TR in this fic. FInally, the embargo on that has been lifted, haha.

I've been mulling over when exactly to reveal this part of the story for a while, and truthfully, until I started trying to finish the Mark+Lara chapter in earnest, I had planned on holding off on these plot elements for at least another mini-arc (which for you guys could mean anywhere from months to years given my update pace)

Instead, I realized midway through that there was no way I could write the Mark+Lara chapter without first introducing the supernatural into FMC, so I brainstormed and speed wrote this chapter to accommodate for many things that are going to happen in the next couple of chapters.

Major hints dropped by the latest chapter, in case you missed them.

Lara's invasion of Everest's mansion in chapter 1 was not to steal something of monetary worth, or to commit mass murder. She went there with noble intentions.

The events of Legend and Underworld have transpired prior to FMC

Lara is roughly 28-29 years old as of the current chapter. This is an age compression of her 35-40 age in the actual games, so I'm retconning the events of the games to being having transpired at a much earlier age for her. I've covered this in a previous post.

I haven't hinted at the rebooted timeline being part of this yet, but that's still an option in the FMC universe.

more thoughts on the matter, but first, I need to finish Mark/Lara as well as the dig chapters.

[Guest Guest]

Remember, this is Hanson's dream come true. He may never have this again - far as he knows - she may kill him. So...Rewrite it. He would relish it more, and slower. This is something he wants, but I feel he would milk it - pun intended - she would be explored more carefully by him than any excivation site. He's 60 plus, not 17.

[Guest Guest]

Woops. Excavation.

[Guest Guest]

The only problem with had by anyone had (read the comments again) regarding Hanson was the way too over the top, criminal, juvenile, sociopathic behavior he displayed. (Breaking, and entering?)

This works, this is consistant with his character. Get rid of the first 'exploration'. This is great, especially without it.

[MorbidFantasy]

Remember, this is Hanson's dream come true. He may never have this again - far as he knows - she may kill him. So...Rewrite it. He would relish it more, and slower. This is something he wants, but I feel he would milk it - pun intended - she would be explored more carefully by him than any excivation site. He's 60 plus, not 17.

Hanson is under the influence of something supernatural. While he may have actually fucked Lara for several hours, all of that bravado, lack of inhibition and stamina is definitely not that of his 60 year old body, but of something else. In case the end of the chapter was not clear, either all of the sex took place in their minds (only 10 minutes passes for the outside, and there's no evidence of sex), or, alternatively, Hanson and Lara were trapped in a temporal distortion that had them experiencing time differently than the outside world.

I will explain the philosopher stone+fragments plot device in more detail in a bit

Woops. Excavation.

I'm still fishing typos out of fmc. Not only that, but in chap36 I pegged James Croft's death circa Lara's 15-16th birthday, but the picture of him Hanson mentions in "Arrival" used to say "freshly in college Lara", which has now been retconned to her being 15 in the picture, meaning it was taken shortly before her father's disappearance.

The only problem with had by anyone had (read the comments again) regarding Hanson was the way too over the top, criminal, juvenile, sociopathic behavior he displayed. (Breaking, and entering?)

This works, this is consistant with his character. Get rid of the first 'exploration'. This is great, especially without it.

Going to need a longer post to explain how 36 and 37 actually work to remedy the problems posed by excavation and Hanson's night time prowling. will update in short order.

[MorbidFantasy]

Powers of the philosopher stone and its fragments

Thought specific telephathic link: The stone can sense and single out individuals who are thinking about it. Simply thinking about it will create this link which allows the stone to read and access the mind of people.

Erasure and feeding on Memory: If the stone does not wish to be thought of or in some case found, it will gradually erase itself from the subject’s mind. The subject will also unconsciously erase all evidence and documentation of the stone. So leaving a note or computer file to tell you about the stone will not work if you are aware of the existence of such a file, because the stone will force you to erase it. Meanwhile, a stone will absorb the memories that it has purged from a subject, those memories serving as a form of sustenance for the stone.

Mental suggestion: The stone can subliminally suggest actions from people. It does not, however mind control them. It can only read a subjects mind, then either increase or decrease inhibition to certain areas of that mind to make a subject more likely to act on a desired impulse. The stone cannot make a person do something that he or she hasn’t already considered doing.

Invoking and feeding on desire: The stone can sense the desires of people around it. It actually feeds off of desire. The stronger the desire, the larger the “meal” for the stone. thus by lowering inhibitions, the stone is able to increase the amount of desire that is fed to it. Desire is basically the seven sins including lust, sloth, gluttony, wrath, pride, envy, and greed. Most of the stone’s mental suggestions play off of these seven aspects of the human psyche, although it is not limited to them.

Physical manipulation: The stone/fragment can’t normally directly affect a person physically, unless it is in extreme close proximity, in which case it can affect the biology of a person’s body to amplify its powers of mental suggestion. It can also temporarily alter body chemistry for other purposes.

Power is exponential to proximity.

Temporal/perception distortion: The stone/fragment can to some degree affect a small area with an illusion field where time and other laws of physics can be warped. This distortion costs quite a bit of energy, which can be fueled by extreme feelings or the cumulative feelings of the many, such as mass hysteria.

The stone’s sentience: The stone is basically its own conscious entity. It has a personality and a mind of its own and has a degree of free will. It does recognize concepts such as servitude and hierarchy, but not necessarily loyalty. The stone can choose to side with another entity for a plethora of reasons, not all of them human.

The stone’s sentience is shared among itself and all of its fragments. Each fragment can act on its own, but will synergize exponentially if two fragments come close together. The stone has a vague perception of the physical location of all of its fragments, and vice versa.

What does the stone want?

Currently, the stone wants to be made whole again. At some point in time, the stone was broken up, or pieces of it were broken off, and scattered across the globe like Excalibur was in TR Legend. The stone wishes to be united with its fragments, which would centralize its power.

How can two fragments be made whole?

By collecting enough energy to reach a critical point and instigate an inter-fragment fusion. The resulting fragment may or may not be physically bigger than the sum of its parts, but will definitely be more potent/powerful

[MorbidFantasy]

Chapter 36 demonstrates the following powers of the stone, which is implied to currently be in Everest's possession (or at least a significant fragment of it):

Memory erasure: It gradually makes Lara forget about how to find it, and it's implied she's the one who tore out and deleted her own notes on the stone.

Mental suggestion: By increasing Lara's inhibition to violence against Gordo in chapter 1 while also increasing the attractiveness of the submission option, the stone is able to make it so Lara doesn't even consider disarming/taking Gordo's gun when he is distracted during sex with her, which would have been a totally viable strategy. It suggests to Lara that submitting to sex is the best way out of the mansion, and coupled with the fact that Lara basically has forgotten why she was there in the first place due to memory erasure, she ended up choosing the submission option.

The revisit to some of Chapter 1's dialogue was for the purpose of retconning the presence of the stone in. Lara doesn't hear the mental suggestions, but it is portrayed.

[MorbidFantasy]

Chapter 37 demonstrates the following of the stone's powers, and there are some plot details that are also affected by this.

Memory modification/harvesting: The stone selectively erased/harvested the short term memories of the workers as well as Lara's memory of the sex at the end. It chose not to erase Hanson's memory because it read his mind, and saw a use in him.

Invoking/feeding on desire: By amping up Hanson's lust towards Lara and removing his inhibition, the stone is responsible for not just the rape/forced sex scene in chapter 37, but is also responsible for Hanson's juvenile night time prowl into Lara's trailer. I'm retconning that chapter to be the stone's testing of its influence over Hanson, seeing how far it can push him into doing things.

Physical manipulation: Here's where something I had planned for quite a while is finally explained. The O-device. It contains a fragment of the stone. This gives the stone the necessary proximity to directly influence Lara, as well as someone close to her (for instance, the owner of a penis that is in her body). In this light, Lara's interaction with Xavier and Xavier's mood swings may all have been partially due to the stone's manipulation. The fragment inside Lara's body is also the real technology behind the O-device, her current sterility, and perhaps even her lactation (although I'm still sticking with conventional medication for that one).

The stone's amplifying the lust of men around Lara is also retroactively applied to the prisoners in Lara's incarceration arc, explaining the group rape throughout her ordeal and why, with the possible exception of Vasily, not a single prisoner thought to question or hesitate in raping her. The memory modification also means that it's entirely possible the stone actually made it so none of the prisoners (except for Vasily, again) recognized Lara for anything other than a female to fuck.

While the stone wasn't implanted in Lara until after her prison stay, one of its fragments (probably the one possessed by Everest) was present in the prison during the entire ordeal.

In Chapter 37, it's implied that each of the antechambers of the temple has a fragment of the stone in it, and by harvesting Hanson and Lara's sexual releases (lust) repeatedly, the fragment inside Lara's womb eventually gains enough charge to absorb the fragment near/in the statue.

[Guest Guest]

So the stone wants her to find it's pieces, without her realizing it? Or do the other bosses have their own fragments/locations of fragments, and have no idea of their power, and he's using her as an incentive to trade for this 'useless junk?'

[MorbidFantasy]

The whole subplot with the stone wanting to rebuild itself is in and of itself a major spoiler for FMC. I only really thought of this plot device around the time I was writing the 15th chapter of FMC, and it was on my mind for a lot of the subsequent chapters although I didn't really make it work until now.

Knowing this, the motives and actions of some of the characters in this story, which had hitherto fluctuated in consistency, might be better explained.

Here's the question, though, and I actually haven't decided on an answer so feedback is very welcome:

Who is in charge, currently. Everest, or the stone? Is the stone just using Everest to get to Lara to get to the crime bosses to get to its fragments? Or is Everest gathering the fragments in order to increase his own power via control of the stone? Or is there some other explanation?

Currently, I'm working on making Hanson's Dig part 2 and 3 different than part 1, as well as deciding whether to finish Hanson's arc before posting Lara and Mark's arc (btw, the stone's power is also present in that miniarc)

[MorbidFantasy]

So the stone wants her to find it's pieces, without her realizing it? Or do the other bosses have their own fragments/locations of fragments, and have no idea of their power, and he's using her as an incentive to trade for this 'useless junk?'

The stone knows some of its fragments are in the temple. Everest may or may not know about this (again, depends on who is in charge), but it's the reason Xavier was brought into the fold. The same goes for Hanson.

As for the other fragments, I have several drafts involving other bosses going simultaneously, although pending plot development most of those drafts will be extensively modified before they're viable.

The current trend is to keep as few people in the know of the fragments as possible. The stone itself knows where the rest of its fragments are, so it could very well have Lara gather all the fragments without any one else knowing what was going on.

Alternatively, the other fragments of the stone are also independently influencing their surroundings to make it easier for them to come together. The reason I'm not going to have everyone know about the stone can be explained as such: The stone knows how desirable it is. If everyone wants the stone, the likelihood that it will remain scattered in individual hands increases. However, if only a central power, aka Everest, is actively gathering the stone, the other stones, even if they aren't buried in some ancient site, can simply make themselves unnoticeable to people around them until they are collected, one by one.

[MorbidFantasy]

Here are two possible scenarios:

Stone is controlling Everest:

Playing off of Everest's lust for Lara's mother, the stone transfers this onto Lara. It then forces Everest to create this whole villians inc scheme, including only members that would eventually be of use in gathering its fragments. Everest is none the wiser.

In this version, The stone not only instigates the scheme of Everest and the crime bosses, but may have even had the foresight of hedging its bet by influencing Gordo (who was working in the mansion and thus was in close proximity) to blackmail Lara in the very first place. Not everything is attributed to the stone, however. Gordo's treatment of Lara at his house is completely of his own volition. The same goes for McGee's murder as Gordo was fired from Everest Inc temporarily and thus couldn't have been influenced by the stone in his murder of McGee. However, The stone definitely influenced Everest's decision to force Gordo to cut him in on the blackmail.

This also poses the interesting possibility that the stone also affected James Croft. By tapping into Jame's memories, it saw Everest, and decided that Everest would be a better vehicle for it's eventual reunification with its parts. This explains why James would, perhaps stupidly, show Everest all that information regarding the stone.

Everest is controlling the stone:

Everest remains the big bad. Some of scenario one might still be in effect, but Gordo's actions will be far more autonomous, since Everest doesn't find out about the blackmail until later.

In this scenario, the stone is only responsible for informing Everest of the location of its other parts. At most, it contributed to Everest's brain storming up the whole villians inc idea.

In this case, the stone's sentience will be downplayed since Everest is the one calling the shots.

Edited July 1, 2015 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Guest]

I think it's in love. Think about it: It wants her - period. She brought it too 'life' after decades, possibly centuries by the death and fear, and lust. It 'moved' through the computer lines to'feed' off her, manipulate her, Gordo, etc. Hell, it's even in the pleasure mobile.SHE is the best lay it ever had. She brings fear, lust, greed, it is growing more powerful because of ONLY her.

It won't let her be maimed. It loves her.

[MorbidFantasy]

The Stone and Amelia AI:

The voice of the AI Amelia. this part I haven't really thought through yet, but have a few ideas.

The Amelia persona is basically the result of the stone's harvesting of other people's memories of Amelia Croft, this being Everest and Lara. Like the o-device, somehow a separate fragment of the stone has been integrated with modern technology to create this voiced entity that, while it mimics Amelia Croft, is at its core just another aspect of the philosopher's stone.

This makes the whole Mark blackmail segment much easier to write, as the stone is basically "helping" Mark believe that Lara is a violent sociopathic slut.

[MorbidFantasy]

I think it's in love. Think about it: It wants her - period. She brought it too 'life' after decades, possibly centuries by the death and fear, and lust. It 'moved' through the computer lines to'feed' off her, manipulate her, Gordo, etc. Hell, it's even in the pleasure mobile.SHE is the best lay it ever had. She brings fear, lust, greed, it is growing more powerful because of ONLY her.

It won't let her be maimed. It loves her.

You've basically stumbled into one of my working endings for FMC:

Stone loves Lara, sees her as master, grants her its power and gets her out of blackmail.

This is one of the many possibilities, and yes, it is extremely clean, especially given the stone's ability to make people forget stuff and delete stuff for it.

Here's why I'm not gonna straight up and choose this ending, without at least modifying it heavily:

1. It's too easy, almost a deus ex machina out for Lara in FMC. Even though I thought of this idea as early as Chapter 15, I want Lara to at least have some agency in freeing herself.

2. Wouldn't the stone be able to gather far more lust/desire/energy if it split itself among 2000 whores and basically harvested an exponential number of men's energies? Wouldn't consolidating itself in this case actually detract from the amount of energy it can absorb?

3. Why was the stone separated in the first place? Did some super powerful explorer/traveler do this, or did perhaps the stone do this to itself. We still don't know the end goal of the stone beyond it's current goal of reassembly.

4. I'm trying not to apply too much human emotions to the stone. It has its sentience, but its thought process is inherently inhuman. That's why it can stand to force Lara to endure so many rapes/painful memories. Maybe it does love her in its own twisted way, but ultimately it's views on humans should be largely devoid of emotional attachment, or at least the human concept of love.

That being said, here are the reasons why I'm not taking this ending off of the drawing board:

1. It's an easy way out (lawlz laZee mee)

2. I too have thought of scenarios where the stone "falls in love" with Lara, and basically sides with her against her tormentors

3. Maybe the stone can only enjoy itself when it is whole, so being 100% inside Lara and having her fuck lots of dudes feels better than having 2000 diluted sub-units of itself scattered in the world.

Ultimately, a major plot element to the end of FMC hinges on the stone's own endgame, not just Lara's or Everest's. Since I haven't settled on what that endgame is, I can't say for sure what sort of sentient being the stone is, other than judge it for the actions it's already caused in FMC.

[Guest Guest]

It "makes love" to her through Vasili. It was 'in' the o-device. It got a greater charge from the one night with her, and the giant, than the rapes IT kept them from killing him, but removed the giant's ability to be able to be 'Vasili'. It wants her to feed that feeling to it through him. Once whole, it's pleasure will be amplified. It will 'speak' for the Russian.

Hmm?

[MorbidFantasy]

It "makes love" to her through Vasili. It was 'in' the o-device. It got a greater charge from the one night with her, and the giant, than the rapes IT kept them from killing him, but removed the giant's ability to be able to be 'Vasili'. It wants her to feed that feeling to it through him. Once whole, it's pleasure will be amplified. It will 'speak' for the Russian.

Hmm?

That's actually not a bad idea. I'd say it's a lot more romantic than the one I had in mind, which was:

For some reason, Vasily happens to be in an influential void where the stone for some reason couldn't affect him. Because he recognized Lara, the stone then influenced Villians Inc to blind and deafen Vasily so he couldn't blab. As for why it didn't have him killed, your thoughts are actually my own. The stone enjoys the feeling of Vasily fucking Lara, so kept him alive. I'm holding off on locking that element into the story until I fully develop the stone's personality.

This would sort of explain why Lara didn't mind fucking Vasily. It wasn't to piss Xavier off at all, it was actually the o-device inside her telling her to enjoy the sex, and since AI Amelia may also be an aspect of the stone, everything it says is just a collaboration with the o-device.

As I've repeatedly said, the stone's personality is actually just as much a mystery to me at this point as it is to you readers. I simply haven't finished developing it yet.