Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[Guest Guest]

It's a start. Lara getting back her old game. He did say he wanted to fuck the old Lara. Wish granted. Hope he's happy. I was. Love the switch.

[Guest Guest]

Even in a scene he played no active part in, you mentioned him. Fuck sake. If you write about Gordo again without ridding us of him period, this will be the last time I say anything. You clearly don't care what we say. You just want to be aknowleged, and I for one am done doing it.

[MorbidFantasy]

Even in a scene he played no active part in, you mentioned him. Fuck sake. If you write about Gordo again without ridding us of him period, this will be the last time I say anything. You clearly don't care what we say. You just want to be aknowleged, and I for one am done doing it.

lol I see your point and raise you this question: What did you think of the actual chapter?

I stand by what I said before that while I'm phasing Gordo out of most of the sex scenes, I'm not just gonna off him because people want me to off him. I wasn't lying when I said I have the ending of FMC planned out. Haven't 100% figured out everything in between but Gordo still has a small role to play in Lara's eventual victory.

Or is it a victory? While I'm fairly set on my planned happy resolution, I do acknowledge that because of my extreme tardiness with updating, I might have to settle for a cliffhanger ending where Lara stares off into the unknown, still a sex slave, and dreams of freedom without actually achieving it.

Back to your point though. Isn't it better that I kept your expectations low by mentioning Gordo twice in the opening section, only to go completely sans-fatty? After all, the last chapter from a year ago had plenty of mention of him, so it would be incongruous for Lara to not at least dwell on the possibility that Gordo had made for her a metal chained bikini with nipple and crotch holes cut out and ornamental piercings with 10 gram crystalline flowers through each bud.

Like I said before, Gordo=Q-branch for Villains-sex-dungeon Inc. Someone has to do it, and it would be a waste of effort for me to come up with yet another techie character when I already have one on hand for the job.

In other news, the 90% forecast for the next chapter is that Lara and Xavier are going to be outside in a public venue. As established in this chapter, it is not going to be a bdsm exhibition. However, eyes will be on Lara, so here are the narrowed down branched scenarios that I have branched out into:

1. A pool party. Pros: partially negates Lara's rule #3. If everyone is wearing swim suits (there will be plenty of other girls present), she will be pressured to wear one as well just to blend in.

2. An upscale dinner party in town. Pros: no one gets to see Lara's bruises/welts (or is that a con). Xavier gets to toe the line with what he can say/insinuate about their relationship.

3. An official expedition out to the excavation. Pros: fast tracks the story. This path doesn't supplant the previous two scenarios, merely changes up the order of things and fast tracks the actually plot.

In both cases, there will be other men of power from the local government (people Gordo have bribed or are allied with) and having the famous Lara next to him will be a display of clout. That Lara will behave in a respectable manner towards Xavier might actually show this "clout" more than if he were just raping her in public. I don't know if that logic flies with you guys, but imo Lara's perceived respect and consent is far more impressive than display of a captured and enslaved Lara. This will be the only option if the excavation route is taken, since Lara will have to run into Hanson again. a hypothetical progression would be route 3, then into route 1or2 OR a hybrid of the two (dinner pool party). Hanson might get to attend either of the two and make more sleazy (but unknowingly true) assumptions of Lara's sex life if this is the case.

More thoughts on the matter, but I'd rather be writing an actual FMC chapter than be here throwing ideas against the wall.

Thoughts are welcome, as usual.

[MorbidFantasy]

slight edit made to chapter: Lara used the brandy as mouth wash. Hard to imagine she could relax with the taste of piss and cum in her mouth.

[Guest Guest]

Good job. Like Lara threatening him with a good time. Basicaly giving him what he would have gotten if he had game three years earlier. His compliance to her rules gives him the credability to back his 'pimp' status as the player who has the real Lara as his bae. Major pimp status anywhere.

Still want her to have her victory. Don't be these idiots who got rejected by the cheerleading captain so they get even by victimizing a strong female character.

Set the girl free.

[MorbidFantasy]

SailorNemesis 2015-04-01 id # 3000051082 No, no, no, please no. I have no problem if you want to back off on the extreme, over the top abuse you have been dishing out; it has gotten rather comic-bookish. But having Lara `take charge' is right out. I want to see her dominated and possessed, not the one on top in any sense. If you are going to go this way you should just end the fic. If you want to dial things back, have some disaster happen which puts Lara into the hands of a new owner. Someone who will use her in more reasonable ways and that way you can dial things back. At this point she has been through so much I actually find her behavior in the last chap pretty unbelievable. But it is not gonna work like this.

Oh don't worry. I'm not planning to have Lara's role be 100% reversed here. There are far too many ways for the villains to rein her in.

GordoTech Intruduces: The Submission Collar

Description: This item, once attached to the neck of a subject, emits a modulated, low intensity signal against the subject's spine that partially disrupts the subject's gross motor skills, reducing subject's perceived physical strength by up to 50% as well as coordination by 40%. The collar does not, however, impede or in any way effect the subject's sensory.

Subject's perception is affected in a way such that moving 50kg will feel like 100kg. Ordinary activities such as walking become laborious while more strenuous activities such as running, jumping, or martial arts become nearly impossible.

GordoTech Introduces: The Obedience Collar

Description: This item, once attached to the neck of the subject, slowly secrets a neuro-chemical cocktail that is absorbed through the skin, Reduces subject's willpower, while promoting submission to orders. Does not impede the subject's physical strength.

Subject perceives other humans as being far superior to him/herself, readily accepting their dominant role in any interaction. thoughts of violence are suppressed, while the urge to receive approval and praise is magnified.

There are still going to be plenty of planned submission/dominance scenes. I'm just trying to inject some variety into this fic. Cheerios

Edited April 1, 2015 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Guest]

Yeah Sailor... see submission, just like Morbid is to you.

Morbitch Pantasy

[Guest Guest]

More fucking retreading of the previous chapters only with new plot devices. For a chapter there you had hope of an interesting, vibrant story. Pity. Coming up. More of the same.

Bye.

[Guest Guest]

Crying helps!!!!!

Good to know.

Bitch.

[Guest Guest]

Back to the rag doll?

Have fun with it. I'm done. This will just be one less unimaginative, well written piece of shit I don't need to bother with.

I don't think you're a bitch, but you are a disapointment.

Correction: were.

Sorry

[MorbidFantasy]

Crying helps!!!!!

Good to know.

Bitch.

It's called feedback. Sometimes I listen other times I don't. In this case, regardless of what Sailor had said, I always intended for future FMC chapters to feature more back and forth with Lara and villains.

You are each entitled to your own opinions. However, I'm the final judge. Keep in mind that at the end of the day, catering to my own boner takes priority over any one of your boners/ladyboners.

[Guest Guest]

Really, why comment if you're just gonna do what you're gonna do?

Asshole.

[MorbidFantasy]

Anon 2015-04-02 id # 3000051089 Don't bother telling him anything resembling praise for this 'new direction'. He's just going back to the mindless fuck toy. He just wants to be loved. You he will ignore. Honest, his own words.

Brah, why so angry brah?

Really, why comment if you're just gonna do what you're gonna do?

Asshole.

Shhhhhh hush baby, it's gonna be okay, deep breaths hmmmkay?

Catering to my feedback and pandering to my feedback are two easily confused things. You're welcome to google their difference.

It is impossible for me to pander, because the only way I can write smut is with a horny thought and a semi stiff (trust me, yall don't want me to go full-boner, that takes too much blood away from the creative centers). So while I do admit to trying to cater to some of the sensibilities of you readers, it's unfair to accuse me of abandoning my own style of creativity, even when I change up my style or tastes.

Less hate, more constructive criticism. I'm a pretty chill guy, so trying to motivate me with hate or anger-baiting is a lost cause. If you want a specific scene or a specific style, you're welcome to email suggestions to me at morbidfantasy12gmail.com . Flames are also welcome: I will respond to them just as cordially as I would any other comment sent my way.

Cheerios m8s.

[MorbidFantasy]

Why come back? Since all you're going to do, as you just admited, is write more fap material for yourself (and sailor) just email him/her your 'chapters' and quit making us think you are interested in our input.

And is "hush baby" a chill' response? You actualy come off as a douchbag.

Please don't use the words 'new direction' when you intend to make her more of a witless sex-toy than ever.

Just stop posting if you're just going to lie.

Good luck with your search for love. I have no idea where you will find a woman to fullfill your requirements for a woman, based on the get off on the idea of a woman having a ten inch spiked dildo slammed repeatedly into her vagina.

Best of luck

Douchebag: A pejorative term for an arrogant or obnoxious person.

There seems to be a fallacy of logic here. I don't think I quite meet the definition of a douchebag. Also, me sharing stuff from my brainstorming or randomly spun ideas does not equal me "admitting" to anything.

I will concede the point that a lot of the ideas I've posted in this thread haven't or aren't ending up in FMC, but that's not me lying about content. That's just me coming up with what I believe is a better idea. Call it prototyping or whatnot.

Anyways, I'm getting an admin to remove the few recent posts that serve as little more than personal attacks. You are welcome to continue attacking me at my email address, although I can't imagine what you think that will accomplish.

Edited April 3, 2015 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Random Guy]

Well, I like the idea of Gordo Tech Industries. I hope you have more of those creative tech thingies like the O-device or the mobil planned

Thank you for keeping up with the good work despite the attacks.

[MorbidFantasy]

Silly me lol, just noticed that there are multiple instances of me referring to Xavier's single eye as "eyes" in the latest chapter.

And a moment of honestly: it's been so long since I've touched FMC that I literally forgot which one of Xavier's eyes is missing and which one of his hands has three fingers. Only just realized this while writing the next chapter because of sex choreography (is that what they call it in movies?)

Anyways, will try to reread some of the older chapters and sorting this whole left right thing out, maybe include a note of it somewhere for future reference.

Was much easier when everyone was symmetrical, haha.

Edit: Ok, he's missing his right eye, and his left ring+pinkie fingers. Got it. Was easier than I thought, since I was almost completely ambiguous in my writing before.

Edited April 6, 2015 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

So much horny, very fuck....

Inspiration is a fickle thing.

The transition into an illusion featuring newcomer to FMC Mark was completely spontaneous. I was in the middle of thinking how can Lara reconcile fucking Xavier willingly, taking charge, without letting slip her true disgust for him. Then it dawned on me that she should just look for a happy place, and lose herself momentarily in that place.

As soon as I posted that chapter, I thought. Hmmm... What if Lara accidentally called out the wrong name while fucking Xavier? True, it wasn't included or even planned in chapter 33, but fortunately I had Lara cum pretty hard in 33, so sliding an accidental name drop that she wasn't aware of at the time in seemed to work well.

Then, I thought, how would Xavier react to her fucking him while thinking about someone else.

Well, initially, he probably figured that as long as she play ball, he'll let slide the mention of her physical assault of him in the bathroom, since it led to sexy times. But since I've giving him very erratic mood swings, he can just as easily forget his earlier plan of leniency and work something much more devious in.

So the timeline, in case chapters 34 didn't make it clear, goes as thus.

Night one: Lara isn't conscious for this. Gets raped in her sleep

Day One/N2: Bath/take charge scene, Lara accidentally says Mark's name. goes off to dig, party at night, then bed with Xavier. During the day, Xavier reports Lara's attack on him to villians, as well as ask for them to find Mark

Day Two/N3: Nearly the same. Mark is found, covertly tagged with tracking and bugged, and a usb thumb drive containing the old material Gordo had on Lara, as well as the new material from the prison, is deliberately planted on him, for him to happily discover, and probably jerk off all night, to.

Day ThreeN4: Nearly the same. Keeping an eye on Mark, villians co lets him continue jerking off, but makes sure he doesn't try sharing the drives contents or even tell anyone what he found. He is soon abducted from London, drugged, and secreted to Peru, into his location in Chapter 35.

Day Four: Starts out the same. The changeup comes when Lara is to be transported to Xavier's Villa, but ends up in Chapter 34, which is probably still located in the villa, just in some underground dungeon type location in which the recently captured Mark has also been brought. Meanwhile, Mark's flight has arrived.

Mark still thinks he's in London. Kitty basically lied about 95% of what she told him to completely warp his impression of Lara and turn him against her. This was the plan all along, to take the one happy memory that Lara has shown in relation to sex, and fundamentally break it down.

I'm not crediting Xavier with coming up with the plan, merely providing the inspiration for it. Most likely the think tanks at Villians Co talked him out of straight up murdering Mark and convinced him to use the latter to mind fuck Lara.

[MorbidFantasy]

In Chapter 36, things come to a head with Lara and Mark.

After that, there will be at least a full chapter devoted solely to the dig (I'll put some token sex in, but plot comes first here). any spare room will round out the details about the kinds of people Lara meet at Xavier's dinner parties.

Then, there will be a chapter that is either full Xavier, or hybrid Xavier/Mark (who knows, if he performs well in 36 we can give him a repeat viewing)

And finally, 37. This one I have a little apprehension about, as it involves the thus far most poorly developed character (or is it unrealistic?) in FMC. Evan Hanson.

Will Hanson get to diddle Lara's candy? I can go both ways on this, but if I do it, I want to do it justice. Either way, 37 (Or 38 if the excavation chapter goes 2X) concludes Lara's mission in Peru.

Next up:

Tokyo...OR... Siberia...

Takamoto... OR... Serkov

Ideas for Tokyo:

I stand by what I said earlier in this thread that Takamoto will want Lara to act according to polite Japanese customs. Some of that got rolled into Xavier's character, but Takamoto will be more genuine. Also, there are some more kinky setups that sort of require a Japanese setting, full of drunk Japanese businessmen (or Yakuza)

Ideas for SIberia:

The perks of Siberia in late February/Early March....IT'S FUCKING COLD. So cold that they can leave Lara unchained, the doors unlocked, and even let her stay dressed. She can't go anywhere, as it's -30 or colder outside. They might even make her "earn" the right to stay warm.

Actually. both Serkov and Takamoto will want Lara for her actual skills. Her sexual services may end up being loaned out to VIP that Villians Inc has a use for. Of course, I'll try to introduce as few new men into Lara's life as possible. At the same time, I want Lara to exercise more autonomy, and perhaps even start planning her comeback. Hopefully, with the next two bosses, I'll start revealing some clues as to how Lara is going to escape this seemingly endless hole she's falling into.

[Guest Guest]

So, Mark dies anyway. ok. Guys an obvious moron. Believes people who torture him first.

[modeac]

I was very impressed with the updates; the humiliation is powerful, the plot imaginative, the characters compelling, a lot of spelling errors and a paragraph or so seems to repeat several times in chapter 34 but the story is as far as I can tell original; the seeing the situation from two perspectives as you have done with Lara and Mark is a brilliant stroke and the mental and emotional components of the story are powerful.

Overall I look forward (or at least hope) for more of your work.

[MorbidFantasy]

So, Mark dies anyway. ok. Guys an obvious moron. Believes people who torture him first.

No the point is he lives, accept now his entire take on Lara has been corrupted and he thinks she's just a crazy cum slut who wanted him dead to silence him.

I was very impressed with the updates; the humiliation is powerful, the plot imaginative, the characters compelling, a lot of spelling errors and a paragraph or so seems to repeat several times in chapter 34 but the story is as far as I can tell original; the seeing the situation from two perspectives as you have done with Lara and Mark is a brilliant stroke and the mental and emotional components of the story are powerful.

Overall I look forward (or at least hope) for more of your work.

Yeah so much of the plot was coming to me as I was typing the story that I ended up with a shit ton of typos as well as inconsistencies in places where I changed direction, but forgot to remove setups to the old direction.

Still picking the crumbs out of the posted work lol.

Edited April 7, 2015 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Guest]

Why would Mark trust the word of people who kidnap and torture him supposedly only on her behest, instead of telling him all this without the kudnaping and torture? Clearly they possessed the tech savy to doctor a tape of her saying it? Also, given the fact that they tell him that she is doing all this to cover her debts in exchange for silence, why is not questioning why they are breaking that agreement just to add him in? Is he brain dead?

[MorbidFantasy]

You'd be surprised.

I'm going to establish a few things about Mark that may not have come off clear enough in 34 and 35.

1. He comes from old family, but the way Lara remembers him in 33 as a rugby player is obviously the story he fed her, for sympathy or for fake bragging rights you decide. Mark isn't a very honest man.

2. He's not above bragging about sexual exploits, so we know he has a misogynist streak going on. He even checks Kitty out and wonders if he can fuck her too at the end.

3. He wanted to believe that his powerful brother will save him, so when Kitty fed him the bullshit about the "founding members holding your brother in high regard", he was already predisposed to believe her.

4. Mark is not the smartest of guys. the entire chapter 35 was an exercise in fallacious logic. What makes Mark inclined to believe Kitty was a combination of information overload and the fact that he eventually WANTS to believe Lara is a deviant slut.

5. True, it would be possible to fake the audio recording, but the brain is a funny thing. Mark is watching Lara, life sized, fucking Vasily very willingly, and acting like the bdsm slut Kitty is describing to him, all the while listening to the sounds of her voice coming over the intercom. Kitty first portrays Lara as a sexual deviant, then shows him that she is one visually. So even before Mark heard the recording, his mind is already set. The recording of Croft's "advertisement" is really just to set up the next move, which is the recording of Lara saying "kill Mark Tremaine".

Get it?

The story line regarding Lord Errol Croft was something I dug up while googling which university Lara attended. Currently FMC is taking bits from both the TR: Legend Lara as well as the TR reboot Lara. Now, taking into account Kitty's lie about Errol's getting all of Lara's money, here is how the Croft family dynamic works in FMC:

[MorbidFantasy]

Ohhhhh I c, you were asking why Lara doesn't question their bringing Mark in? Am I reading that right? You seem to be missing a few key words there lol.

Well as of chapter 34, All Lara knows is she has to fuck Vasily or Mark dies. She doesn't hear anything that's being said in his cell after Kitty enters it, and is too preoccupied trying to meet the orgasm quota with Vasily.

The twisted logic that will be fed to her if she does eventually question Mark's inclusion is "well, you brought him into this buy pretending/wanting to have sex with him.".

Also, Lara will be gagged in chapter 36, so she won't be able to correct any of the wrong impressions Mark got from 35.

[Guest Guest]

No, you got it right the first time.