DarkCabaret Posted August 30, 2007 Report Posted August 30, 2007 Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. ! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier. --------- A friend of mine posted this on MySpace and I thought it was cute so figured i'd share it with everyone. Quote
Leonhart29 Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 You know... it's almost the truth isn't it? Quote
DarkCabaret Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Posted August 31, 2007 I know that's the scary part!!! Quote
Guest echtrae Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 Are you trying to insinuate that there is something wrong with any of this? Quote
Guest Adara Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 LMFAO Probably only that it isn't fair...though...I gotta admit...to our shame, we women end up doing it to ourselves sometimes....*hangs her head in shame* I need chocolate.... Quote
DarkCabaret Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Posted August 31, 2007 Trae, I'm not saying nothin! Then again all the men I've met fit that description PRETTY good.....*stares* I'm off to spend 20 minutes on the phone with my best friend! Quote
redsliver Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 The world IS my urinal! Best news I've ever heard. Quote
Guest Adara Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 LMFAO I'll have to make sure to send this to my husband...no doubt he'd agree with you Red. Quote
Leonhart29 Posted August 31, 2007 Report Posted August 31, 2007 Trae - if this doesn't in some way describe you then you are the exception that proves the rule. If it does then there's nothing wrong with being male - nothing wrong at all. Quote
Guest echtrae Posted September 1, 2007 Report Posted September 1, 2007 Leon, I'm not denying any of it. I'd be lying if I even tried. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted December 27, 2007 Report Posted December 27, 2007 Men are NOT happier...Your orgasm is ten times more intense if you are a woman. No lie. I don't know about the technicalities but I'm a guy, and to my experience it gets moar intense the longer you postpone it. Every once in a while I manage to postpone it for 15 hours... Yeah, that's when I'm alone... XD But when I orgasm after that it's way moar intense than usual... Ofcourse I can't say for sure because I've never been a woman but I doubt it's moar intense than that. Quote
Guest Rosemarius Posted February 8, 2008 Report Posted February 8, 2008 It's woman's nature to postpone it... and, as far as I know only women are able to enjoy a multiple orgasm.I don't remember the name of him (or her) but there was a guy in Ancient Greece, in the ancient sagas who tried both genders out of curiosity. The goddesses were angry at him for telling their secret: he had felt lust tenfold as a female... actually, guys can have multiple orgasm, if they don't ejaculate at the first one Quote
Keith Inc. Posted February 16, 2008 Report Posted February 16, 2008 Dun't matter to me. Ten times more intense than what i have would be lethal. I mean, what a way to go, but still. Lethal. So, still happy. And the fun part? If i do anything that's so gender-specific and widespread that it's become a cliche for manly behavior, and my wife mutters 'Men!' under her breath, i can still give her shit. "What? Gender Stereotyping?! In this day and age! I mean, really! I put one pair of shoes on the dining room table to get the shoe polish kit from the buffet and you act like half the human race has an IQ of three. How would you feel if you were two seconds late for an evening out, and i suggested that all women were incapable of being on time for anything? Huh? What if you made a mistake and referred to our current president as Clinton, and corrected it INSTANTLY, but i still suggested that 'blonde' was your original hair color? Would you think that fair?" At least, that's the speech i INTENDED to give her. Three seconds into it, she made me eat my shoe and i kinda lost that position of moral superiority from righteous indignation. And an incisor. Quote
DemonGoddess Posted February 16, 2008 Report Posted February 16, 2008 Dun't matter to me. Ten times more intense than what i have would be lethal.I mean, what a way to go, but still. Lethal. So, still happy. And the fun part? If i do anything that's so gender-specific and widespread that it's become a cliche for manly behavior, and my wife mutters 'Men!' under her breath, i can still give her shit. "What? Gender Stereotyping?! In this day and age! I mean, really! I put one pair of shoes on the dining room table to get the shoe polish kit from the buffet and you act like half the human race has an IQ of three. How would you feel if you were two seconds late for an evening out, and i suggested that all women were incapable of being on time for anything? Huh? What if you made a mistake and referred to our current president as Clinton, and corrected it INSTANTLY, but i still suggested that 'blonde' was your original hair color? Would you think that fair?" At least, that's the speech i INTENDED to give her. Three seconds into it, she made me eat my shoe and i kinda lost that position of moral superiority from righteous indignation. And an incisor. *snickers* Something that comes up from time to time with my husband is something he calls "left nut logic". In other words, I can't know, or understand, because i don't have said equipment. Requires left nut logic to GET it. 'spose you gotta be there, but it's usually pretty funny when he goes off on one those tangents. Quote
greenwizard Posted February 24, 2008 Report Posted February 24, 2008 Women are seriously strange creatures. No offense to you women out there, but.. seriously. You drive yourselves crazy by constantly worrying about the superficial shit. My women friends give me a headache sometimes. Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 24, 2008 Report Posted February 24, 2008 I don't, and never will, understand women. I try, I really do, I have no male friends, you'd think I would get it by now.... I don't. I just don't. Quote
Terri Posted March 1, 2008 Report Posted March 1, 2008 One mood all the time? LOL! Yeah right! Not for half of my male friends >.> Quote
DarkInuLord Posted March 1, 2008 Report Posted March 1, 2008 I read somewhere... Men PMS too. XD Quote
Solaris Posted March 1, 2008 Report Posted March 1, 2008 Men are ten times as much go crazy and kill a ton of people, but if he's handsome they say it was someone else's fault for him to go crazy, but if a woman kills they blame her outright and lock her away. beth Quote
Guest Zyx Posted March 1, 2008 Report Posted March 1, 2008 you did not just... omg... I can't take it anymore xD In todays society men are more likely to drop out of high school and more likely to kill themselves (others too) maybe we're... unhappy??? I'm just saying... FUCK FEMINISM!!! Quote
maidenhair Posted June 1, 2008 Report Posted June 1, 2008 I don't think your degree of happiness or misery is related to your sex. Now, your lack of sex may affect it but male or female, it doesn't matter. Happiness is an individual thing. Same thing with sex. Men can have mind blowing orgasms, women can too. Women can be bitches and so can men. We're all weird and wonderfully different. Quote
Asexual Biped Posted January 26, 2011 Report Posted January 26, 2011 I'm masculine enough that most of those apply to me. It also helps that I generally don't give a shit. ^^ Quote
Recommended Posts