BronxWench's Review Replies - Original Fiction

[BronxWench]

For Hazardous Duty:

SillySilenia 2013-04-20 id # 3000206215 Well-written. Great use of the prompt - you didn't just mention it, you centred the whole piece around it. Always nice.

Just enough details and mentions to let us know what we need to know about the setting without spelling it all out for us or going info-dumpy. Takes skill, especially in a short piece like this with a limit to the amount of words you can use. Pretty fast-paced, but not so fast-paced that I got lost.

Characterization was well-done, especially considering the limit on words. You gave them personalities that differed in important points, but still compliment each other well enough that their behaviour and interaction seems natural. Perhaps Sam brushes over concerns and risks a bit too easily, but I suspect that is more characterization than lack of thought. He certainly seems to be a relaxed, care-free, fun-loving guy who might not always be interested in following the rules and laws to the letter.

All in all, this fic certainly is a great piece of writing. My only regret is that you didn't give us the exact scene in which they were caught - just the leading up to it and the aftermath.

Thank you! Glimpses in a thousand words or less... It's enormous fun for me because I tend to be wordy, and this makes me pare things down to the essentials. I'm glad you enjoyed this escapade of Sam amd Mori's. They do tend to find ways to get into mischief.

Edited April 21, 2013 by BronxWench

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 20:

pittwitch 2013-05-10 id # 3000206856 Holy hell, did not see that coming! Wow!

Thank you! I'm glad I managed to pull off the surprise. Of course, now will come the repercussions...

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 21:

pittwitch 2013-05-24 id # 3000207323 What a delicious, delightful tale! I cannot abide waiting for the next installment.

Thank you! That's wonderful praise indeed, and I'm hoping not to disappoint!

Anesor 2013-05-24 id # 3000207327 I know there is a great cost to deal with the fey, but I'm hoping they come out alive. The fae are not the only ones who need that rebirth.

Thank you! And yes, the fey are never easy to deal with, but hope is not quite dead yet.

[BronxWench]

For Almost Home:

kurahieiritr 2013-07-06 id # 3000209063 I liked the way you threw the character into action immediately. I was firmly looking over the character's shoulder through your story which is always a pleasure. I knew who I was riding along with, and I felt connected. My only problem was a few overly long sentences that were not quite true compounds. The long sentences could easily be spliced into independent standing sentences. Other techniques that would work include removing extra prepositional phrases. Setting details off in more direct structures with an action set off with a very limited number of details per action would clarify the wordy feeling or awkward reading spots. There are not many of those to require worry. Yet, a clean up would not be remiss.

Another positive aspect for your writing is the active voice use. It is rare to find someone who is consistent in voice tone. Staying in character with an active voice is one of your writing strengths. I would love to see more detail in the outer space fight, but that is simply a personal desire because I enjoyed the active writing style. I hope you continue writing for years to come.

Thank you! This is exactly the sort of review an author lives for, because it gives me an idea of what I did right, and where I can improve. We can ALWAYS improve, in my opinion.

I'm going to admit that this is a personal favorite of mine, if only because it was a thousand word flashfic, and I needed to be very precise to convey as much as I wanted to in that short space. I came close!

It's also a peek at a world that is part of a novel in the works. One day, I'll get it out the door, but most of the science fiction type flashfics I've posted here do relate back to that work. They're outtakes, character sketches, and sometimes just for fun..

But thank you again!

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 22:

anesor 2013-07-28 id # 3000209944 Nice job fitting all the "J's" in. I find myself a little sad that he is giving up on the real world though, too.

"Jingo" was a tad easier for me, since I did have a modern character to use it, although the fey were puzzled. And yes, Paul has turned his attention to making a life in the fey realm rather than hoping for any sort of salvation in his own world, but there is never any guarantee that what he puts in motion will work exactly as he thinks it will.

And thank you for reviewing!

[BronxWench]

For Hunting Elysium:

pittwitch 2013-09-29 id # 3000212418 Delightfully descriptive! I did not expect the ending at all, even from the title. Great work.

One thing: "Hera was the one that cursed 'the his' little piece on the side and made her the poor dating choice that she was today ..."

Either way works for me, the or this?

Well done!

Thanks for sharing, PW

Thank you, especially for the typo catch! I thought I had gotten them all, but there's generally one that eludes me!

I'm glad I managed to surprise you at the end! The prompts were so much fun to work with, really!

[BronxWench]

For Hunting Elysium:

Melrick 2013-09-30 id # 3000212443 Loved it! That was an excellent use of all the prompts. I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Nice descriptions, too. Good job! :-)

Thank you so much! I should be thanking you for bringing back the monthly prompts, because I so enjoy the varied prompts. Just reading them is a guarantee that something will percolate in my twisted little brain. And of course, I get tired of vampires getting all the love when there are so many monsters to play with out there.

[Melrick]

I'm glad you enjoy the prompts! I look forward to future stories. I won't be here to post up November's prompts, but I'll leave them with DG and she'll do it for me.

[BronxWench]

For Hunting Elysium:

Anise 2013-09-30 id # 3000212480 I liked the real and gritty mixed with the more fantastical aspect of the story and I absolutely loved the wonderfully descriptive way that you wrote it all I'm such a sucker for great atmosphere and this story definitely had it, it was a great read^^

Thank you so much! I'm very glad to hear that you enjoyed my little wander into the surreal. I will admit that New York's atmosphere is such a given that it made my job easier, but I couldn't resist.

[BronxWench]

For Hunting Elysium:

anesor 2013-10-01 id # 3000212488 Oh, very nice noir, and good switch away from the run of the mill vamps and zombies these days. The world weary main character was fun and I kind of would like to see him in another story. (not that I want him to lose his reward though) The incorporation of the words was very smooth, too.

Thank you! This was not my usual style, but the prompts sort of begged for noir, and I could not resist. And I'm not fond of following the trends either, when all those other monsters need love, too. But most importantly, I'm happy to have amused!

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 23:

pittwitch 2013-10-27 id # 3000213039 Strikingly beautiful ... and now the Queen

And now the Queen indeed. Now the question is, will she dance to Paul's tune, or does she have a dance of her own in mind?

Thank you!

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 23:

anesor 2013-10-27 id # 3000213044 Amazingly tense for the level of action in this section. I have to wonder what the characters expect and how wrong may will be...

Thank you! Sometimes it's the quiet moments that carry the most tension. And of course, one can script the moment, but will the actors follow the script, or improvise?

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 24:

pittwitch 2013-11-09 id # 3000213429 Oh my goodness! I am in love with this story. There is going to be a fight yet, apparently. Paul is captivating, and now a King! Wonderful.

Thank you! Paul is definitely holding his own among the fey so far, and that's no easy trick. Let's hope he can continue, since Briallen isn't ready to admit defeat yet.

anesor 2013-11-09 id # 3000213447 Oh, very, very nice! I must be slow as I missed that possibility. Rebirth indeed, and laughter had my vote, if that counts.

Thank you! The Cauldron has long been a favorite bit of lore, and it seemed appropriate to show its potential. Is anyone put in mind of the Grail?

But yes, if I have a vote, it's for laughter as well. The fey will do as they will, though, so we'll both have to wait and see.

[BronxWench]

For First Step:

pittwitch 2013-12-31 id # 3000214910 An excellently crafted tale, utterly absorbing to the point that I lost myself in the story, not even looking for the prompts. Thanks so much for sharing! PW

Thank you! This is a little different than my usual fare, once again, but I'm so glad it could sustain your interest. That's probably the highest praise any author could ask for, really!

Lisa 2013-12-31 id # 3000214918 Bronx, I've never read one of your stories and I don't know why. Your writing is wonderful. I really loved this one-shot.

Poor Trey was so broken, what a horrible experience he had with Sam, a killer. He is lucky to get away from him alive.

Excellent story, Bronx! I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Lisa, thank you so much! I'm always happy when someone new reads one of my stories, and I'm even happier to have been able to give you a bit of enjoyment. And thank you for taking the time to review, and let me know. That's the best reward of all.

Have a healthy and happy New Year!

Edited January 1, 2014 by BronxWench

[BronxWench]

For First Step:

Anise 2014-01-01 id # 3000214924 Poor Trey what a horrible thing to have to go through, I certainly hope Sam is a good a guy as he seems because Trey certainly deserves that. I also really liked how you worked all the prompts in, it was such a good story and I can't wait to see what you post next

Happy New Year!

Thank you! Those two sort of arrived as I was contemplating the prompt, and hoping I could squeeze it in between holidays and work, and they were so sweet that I had to tell their story. I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and a very happy New Year to you and all your loved ones as well!

[BronxWench]

For First Step:

anesor 2014-01-02 id # 3000214989 Very nice. I especially like the hidden room and the attention to the Jeep locks.

Thank you! I actually have seen some amazing hidden rooms in older houses out on Long Island, on the East End, which was my inspiration there, and being a paranoid car door locker, that part was easy. I may not have had Trey's reasons for being security conscious, but a little caution never hurts.

[BronxWench]

For Indigo:

Dizzydizzy 2014-01-25 id # 3000215717 This is beautifully written, poignant, and sad.

Thank you! I have to admit, the monthly prompts really do seem to wake up my muse of late, which I hope is a good thing. But this is one that's been tugging at me for a while, and I'm glad you enjoyed.

[BronxWench]

For Indigo:

Melrick 2014-01-26 id # 3000215723 Sexy but sad. Good story, and good use of the prompts, too. Nicely done!

Thank you! Your prompts are amazingly good at bringing out these stories, so, really, I'm very grateful! It is a bit sad, but I was never terribly good at happy endings, as I've been told many times. I'm just happy that it works

Edited March 2, 2014 by BronxWench

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest - Chapter 25:

anesor 2014-02-01 id # 3000215908 Of course this raises the question as to what Paul is if he's truly dead. All I know is that he has a strange popularity for a dead human.

Now, you know I'm not going to tip my hand and blow the ending. I will say that popularity isn't quite the word I'd use for the cat-toy of the hour as far as some of the fey are concerned. But thank you!

[BronxWench]

For Punch Line:

Melrick 2014-03-01 id # 3000216650 Another unexpected use of the prompts. lol And it was well done again, too!

Thank you! Honestly, the monthly prompts are way too much fun, and I'm enjoying them immensely. I'm glad I can entertain and surprise you!

[BronxWench]

For First Step:

pippychick 2014-03-02 id # 3000216700 This is so great. I loved the slow, haunting build up right to the end. The subtle changes in atmosphere: from the campfire, to the car, to the various parts of the house.

Although Evan doesn’t make an appearance, his character still lives and breathes throughout the story.

The ending is perfectly understated, but with so much promise of better things to come – not just for Trey, but also for the house.

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you! Those two arrived quite unannounced, and wanted their story told, so I had to oblige. But I do like that element of the unknown, and I've been in so many places that made me feel a sudden chill. Hidden rooms are a plus, when I can find them.

[BronxWench]

For Culloch's Rest:

pippychick 2014-03-13 id # 3000216975 1-3: I am loving the atmosphere in this so much. I can almost smell the greenery of the graveyard, and relax in the homely environment of the kitchen. And she is so mysterious, but now we know who she is, and it's lovely to experience that moment of realisation along with him. As always, your writing flows so well, even when he is hesitant.

Thank you! One of the hardest things about trying to do a flash fic series is getting sufficient detail into that very small word limit, while moving the story along with each 1,000-word chapter. I'm glad I'm managing to convey both environs and mood!

[BronxWench]

For The Brownstone:

pippychick 2014-03-25 id # 3000217260 Nice and spooky! I love the comparison of the abandoned building and the abandoned self, as if with her obsession she's let it infect her.

Thank you! It's very refreshing to actually get a review for a no-sex piece, to be honest. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it, and we'll have to see if the brownstone decides to claim another victim. I'm not sure places like that are ever satisfied.

Edited March 27, 2014 by BronxWench

[BronxWench]

For The Brownstone:

Melrick 2014-03-27 id # 3000217301 I have no idea how I missed this the first time around. Strange. Anyway, a good creepy story. Makes me wonder just what is inside that place. And good use of the prompts! I've never really understood just what a 'bodega' is though. I see/hear it often in relation to NYC. Anyway, good story!

Thank you! Can you tell I lived on horror stories as a child? Not to mention my fondness for beautiful old buildings.

Bodegas are the New York equivalent of a corner shop as found in less trendy areas. They tend to have a bit of everything, with a strong concentration on beers, malt liquors and cigarettes. It's the sort of place you might go to for a coffee in the morning, and a pre-sliced, pre-buttered bread roll wrapped in cling wrap. They don't have an extensive assortment of products, and the pickings can be slim for things like fresh produce, but they tend to have more of a neighborhood feel, if you will.

[Melrick]

I'm with you on the horror stories, and beautiful old buildings. Not that there are any around here!

Corner stores in this country have almost died out, rather sadly, although they were always overpriced.