Dihydrogen Monoxide

[Guest echtrae]

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

• is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
  
• contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
  
• may cause severe burns.
  
• contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  
• accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  
• may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
  
• has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
  

Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant.
  
• in nuclear power plants
  
• in the production of styrofoam.
  
• as a fire retardant.
  
• in many forms of cruel animal research.
  
• in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
  
• as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
  

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

For more information visit this site.

[Neito]

This would be funnier if i hadn't been calling that dihydrogen monoxide for years.

[redsliver]

Hydrogen hydroxide is a more accurate name.

The ban dihydrogen monoxide petition was originally written in the 1980's by a grade 9 student, the stated fact that the majority of readers signed the petition stems from the fact that your average ninth grader will sign a friend's or classmate's petition without reading it.

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

We should TOTALLY ban that! It sounds so DANGEROUS!

[Guest echtrae]

Hydrogen hydroxide is a more accurate name.

The ban dihydrogen monoxide petition was originally written in the 1980's by a grade 9 student, the stated fact that the majority of readers signed the petition stems from the fact that your average ninth grader will sign a friend's or classmate's petition without reading it.

1997 actually. You didn't follow the link, did you?

[redsliver]

I thought it was 87, I read the thing a long time ago.

[Guest echtrae]

Hey, no worries.

[NightScribe]

Penn & Teller did the same kind of petition as the 9th grader on their show "Bullshit." That was pretty damn funny.

[EveKnight75]

I haven't clicked the link yet and it's been a while since I've taken chemistry, but don't we need dihydrogen monoxide to survive?

I'm not surprised that an entire bunch of ninth graders would fall for a spoof like this. Peer pressure and the age of fanbratty wannabe poser posses, dontcha know?

ETA: I've just clicked the link and read the article. Thank God at least one student didn't fall for it!

[quamp]

Well, the way things are going, we won't have any dihydrogen monoxide before too long. Its use is too rampant and people seem to take it for granted. Well, as the City of Dallas' department of dihydrogen monoxide says "nothing can replace it."

[StoryJunkie]

di...hydrogen....2 H wtf? water?

[Desiderius Price]

My favorite retort… that it’s so corrosive that it’ll eat through granite (given enough time).  It’s also found in the blood of autistics and serial killers.