Sex Moves

[Guest Adara]

I've been wondering this for a bit and yesterday while flipping through channels, I came across a program where they talked to both men and women about what they do to please their partner.

I began to wonder what type of sexual interaction everyone here liked to write about. I mean, I think everyone has a preference for either, hard to the point of pain sex. Or soft, "I'm going to die soon if you don't hurry up and give me an orgasm!" sex.

I like an array of "styles" I suppose. I tend to stick to the "rip-my-clothes-off" type. This happens because most of the time my characters don't jump into it right away. Most of my stories don't have more than one full lemon scene. The rest of the time there's just a sexual tension I like to create. So, by the time my characters get it on, they're so worked up they can't really take their time for the smooth, paced foreplay.

So, what I would like to know is this; What type of sexual interactions do you all like to write about and why? I'd like to know if that's okay!

[NightScribe]

Depends on the story and the characters. I wrote one where there was heavy, unresolved tension that was never consummated; it worked for that particular fic, (IMHO). However, I did cheat, with a little bit of fantasizing on the gent's part.

One series of fics I did, the characters were longtime lovers who had a long distance relationship, so they could be tear off the clothes in one scene, and engage in languid, slow paced foreplay the next. I think I tend to use the latter the most; anticipation is so agonizingly sweet.

[Guest CreepingKate]

I haven't much experience in writing lemons, my only graphic one hasn't been published yet, heck, my not-quite-so-graphic one hasn't been published yet either. I've gotten invaluable advice from Serenanna - such as "a man can't really take three quarters of an hour of foreplay unless he has the stamina of a god." - stuff like that.

If I had an intimate relationship with a man, I wouldn't like to be rushed. My personal preference is the anti-ci-pa-tion makes the eventually sex all the more pleasureable. So that is how I write my lemon scenes. In the not-quite-so-graphic lemon I've written, Winry and Edward eventually do it after a few minutes of very passionate kissing, so she's had a few minutes to "prepare" for sex with him.

[Guest Adara]

I sometimes find it so difficult to make my female characters have no inhibitions about having sex with mulitiple characters. I tend to keep them monogimous despite my attempts to make them different.

I'm really trying to do something to get it just right. I tend to have the men be a bit more, "experienced." I suppose that's the socially conforming side of me! Men can be promiscuous but women cannot. I really, REALLY need to get rid of that nasty habit, at least for the my character's sake! LOL

[EveKnight75]

How about taking gender out of the equation when writing those sex scenes? Just write the dominant/submissive part then add the body parts in later. You could write D/s based on personality rather than gender.

If that doesn't work, how about imagining the characters in a matriarchal society? The social restriction on women and promiscuity is present in patriarchal societies, but not so much in matriarchal societies.

You specialize in vampire fics, right? This one is just for you: let's say the woman is a vampire who's been around a while. If she's existed longer than the man/men in question, then it's only natural that she'd be more in control of the situation based on more experience over the years. A gangbang could be her idea of avoiding a rut and not conforming to mortal ideals because she's above them.

I know that this factor is usually involved in bad sex fics, but I think the best thing you could do to overcome this problem is forget society and concentrate on the individuals. What goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, and no one else needs to know.

When I actually write a bona-fide sex scene and show it to someone, I'll get back to you. I do have some idea of what I'm willing to write, and what I prefer to read. When I'm more awake, I'll edit this post and answer your question, I swear.

[NightScribe]

"a man can't really take three quarters of an hour of foreplay unless he has the stamina of a god."

I think it depends on one's definition of "foreplay." If it's strictly gential stimulation, not to mention a younger man, sure. But keep in mind that touching, massage, talking "dirty," a striptease or slowly undressing, the use of toys (man using on partner in het situations) can be considered foreplay (at least to my mind). They're all part of the wonderful arousal process.

Adara, don't sweat the issue of your female characters having inhibitions. I think the more you write, the more comfortable you'll get and really start to stretch. I'm on my eighth fic and I'm writing things that I wouldn't have dreamed of at the beginning (I figure this will be my last fic for a while, so I'm going for broke! )

As for my female characters, I've had some who knew what they wanted, and others who were shy and inexperienced. May I suggest that you let your character's personalities dictate their behavior. And you could always have one of those shy, submissive types turn animal once that older, experienced man gets his hands on her!

[Squallfan]

I've written all kinds, rough, gentle, fun, quickies, slow and leisurely. It really depends on the story, couple, and the mood at the time. It's all fun to write for me.

[Guest Adara]

Thank you Eve and Nightscribe. I've been trying to get myself out of that mine set, creating characters that are naturally doing as they see fit. Not that they would consider having sex with many partners a bad thing! LOL

Hopefully I can manage that liberation of mind as I continue to write. I do believe that time does have a way of making things easier to get out. I mean, the first story I wrote was difficult for me, I couldn't quite get what I wanted to let out. Now as I write up my fourth and fifth, I know what direction I want to go in with every sex scene and overall interaction.

I just hope it continues to develope. This censoring of myself is beginning to vex me! LOL

[Guest Big Samurai]

Hmm! As a Certified Vanilla Specialist , I've got a fairly limited range, but the trick to it, I think, is focusing on build-up and foreplay while downplaying the actual sex act, since, really, there's not a whole lot in the way of variety there. There's also a certain charm in writing about things that are sexual, but not sex. I recall, for example, a particular Tenchi Muyo lemon in which Ryouko simultaneously made Aeka furious and Tenchi red-faced by doing all kinds of neat oral tricks with her chopsticks during breakfast. (For the record, Tenchi found out, later, the full extent of what she was implying, the lucky stiff.)

[Guest Adara]

Hmm! As a Certified Vanilla Specialist , I've got a fairly limited range, but the trick to it, I think, is focusing on build-up and foreplay while downplaying the actual sex act, since, really, there's not a whole lot in the way of variety there. There's also a certain charm in writing about things that are sexual, but not sex. I recall, for example, a particular Tenchi Muyo lemon in which Ryouko simultaneously made Aeka furious and Tenchi red-faced by doing all kinds of neat oral tricks with her chopsticks during breakfast. (For the record, Tenchi found out, later, the full extent of what she was implying, the lucky stiff.)

I completely agree. It comes down to the moments before the actual act itself. As you've said, there isn't much in variation there. I mean, I don't really believe that people go through TWENTY or so different positions during sex. That's just a porn thing I think.

I guess that's why I never really had more than one or two sex scenes during a full sized story. I concentrate on the courtship, or rather, the "Tango" of sorts between the two characters. I felt the byplay between the two was more of a sexual turn-on than they screwing around like bunnies. (Not that doing that is bad either! LOL )

[Leonhart29]

This may sound a bit out in left feild but for some reason I have a problem with Het sex - which if you stop to think about it is strange because that's the only kind I've ever had (LOL).

I can write a yaoi like there's no tomorrow and I truely enjoy it. ANd that's odd too because I've never actually taken the time to watch two men... I guess I just have a really good imagination.

I wouldn't mind some pointers on how to write something between a man and a woman that doesn't take me a week of agonzing over the how's and why's and semantics of the whole thing.

[StoryJunkie]

I like all kinds, except maybe the sort that brings to mind badly made porn. Hesitant virginal stuff turns me on big time. (I mean when I'm writing it), so that's my fav, although I'm so...er...experienced now...(good god, I'm not!) /AM! *(not)/AM! I think because the first time for anyone is super special, and so often it is just a great disappointment. The illusion continues with me, because I'm not going to tell anyone that its really crappy. Communications skills are a plus in that situation, and I wish someone would have told me that instead of just laying there like a doll So you see, its not something you can reclaim, can you, so in my mind, when I write about it, that's the way it should have happened

[foeofthelance]

Hmm, I think I side with the foreplay fans. It's much more interesting to see what different tricks one's mind can come up with for teasing another's body, especially since there are really only so many different ways to penetrate.

As for guys not being able to commit to foreplay for 45 minutes...says who? Personal experience for me says otherwise, and most guys I know enjoy it. Those who don't enjoy it, well, they don't seem to know too much about it. We try and inform them, and sometimes it works. Other times, well, let us just say there's no helping some people. Kinsey himself could give them a three hour lecture and five minute poke and hump would be all they could come up with.

[Guest Adara]

Perhaps I am making a mistake when I do this but, I take my cue from what I've experienced with my husband! I mean as far as the "joining" part is concerned anyway. I like to mentally dwell on things like, the warmth of my character's breath as they're getting closer to that moment. Or sometimes just the fleeting kisses my characters share because they're not in a situation where they can openly explore their love or passion.

It engulfs me, and for that instant, I am them. I begin to find parallels between my relationship and theirs and well, the scenes jump out of me. Of course, I let my mind wander on their exploration for my characters usually have supernatural traits that allow them to explore one another in ways I can only imagine! (Duh, huh?)

Connecting with them on any level during their passions makes me comfortable, and like StoryJunkie, I begin to imagine how I would have loved to have capulated the first time, or second, or third. Hmm, reading back on this it sounds like a bunch of flowery stuff, but, I'm comfortable with that concerning this topic!

In any case, I feel that if I can get a reaction out of myself, a passionate one, then I am happy with what I've written. I mean, our job as writers is to take our reader on a journey through our characters right? It may as well include a good ride.

[StoryJunkie]

I think I've got to reassess some of the assumptions I've made about some of my guy characters, then. REddragon reminded me of this guy I met once who told me that he liked kissing his fair maid all evening before actually getting down to the point, and I've always made my guys kind of authoritative with these agendas who get side-tracked by this woman and have to reassess their motives because she makes them loose control. I mean, that's another major turn on when a woman's power over a man is so blatant. maybe I should slow up abit.

[foeofthelance]

Should I be worried that I remind Junkie of guys she knew? I dunno. Complimented maybe?

[Iggy_lovechild]

It really all depends on the characters for me, though I tend to enjoy situations that allow me to linger over writing the little sensual details.

I have the odd hesitence toward scenes involving penetration. It's just...it's not as though it bothers me, I can just never go on about it like some writers. It didn't used to be that way. It was shortly after I lost my viginity and became officially, regularily sexually active that I started to have trouble when penetration was involved. Or perhaps it's just that I feel like I can't describe it in many different ways other than how it's done. I end up just getting a bit on the vague side.

[Leonhart29]

I agree to a point with Iggy - I'm more of a foreplay kind of girl. Sometimes I have to force myself to write more than a sentence or two on the "culmination of the act". There are just so many ways that you can say "in and out" before you get dizzy.

[StoryJunkie]

Gives off throaty, evil laughter.

[Guest Adara]

No shit! LOL It becomes so tedious for me at times I leave off writting those parts and just picture how they'd end so that I can continue writing the "important" parts of the story.

I just hope I can get over my "maidenly" heroine syndrome so that I can start creating some racy stuff. One way or another I will conquer this bloody condition.

[Leonhart29]

I'm not saying it isn't fun to have my guys go through their paces through my head, as a matter of fact it's damn fun most of the time. If only I could "try" some of my imaginings out in real life I would be one happy camper.

[Jyet]

I have to agree with the general consensus; foreplay and the general buildup to sex is more interesting to write about than the act itself. However, I haven't really been able to explore that, as both fics I've written so far have happened to have the characters' activities limited by time or interruption - I need to write something a bit more indepth.

[Guest candescence]

I love writing it all, but the buildup to just about the point of getting down to it is my favorite thing to write. It is addictive to get in your character's head and really see them work the angle they are taking, or to view the other character and see where they go with it. I love it! I love that and I can not seem to get away from writing masturbation scenes, they just keep popping up in my head!!

[Guest DarthSaad]

I have to admit, I love the idea of two women rubbing themselves against each other - full body to body contact while they rub their sexes together. I love to visualize it and subsequently love to write it

[Keith Inc.]

I think staying true to the character is the most important part.

The question of foreplay is definitely one that has to take the character into account.

I'm reminded of Bull Durham, where the woman tied a guy up and read him poetry ("Guys will put up with just about anything if the think it's foreplay.").

Then again, there's The Three Amigos and the villain's new girl. ("Do you know what foreplay is?" "No..." "GOOD! Neither does El Guapo!").

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With all the size-themed sex i write, the variety of scale often seems to force me to be pretty graphic with a sex scene. With a man and a Lilliputian lover, the simple mechanics of 'What can she DO with that thing?' have to be spelled out. So most of my sex scenes turn into choreography. A hand here, a grip there, swing from the belt, walk across the belly, dig in the heels and stretch to reach the tip...

But i agree, if the whole point of the fiction isn't the sex, sometimes it's tedious to spell it out when what you really want to do is get back to the dialogue, or the resolution, or the Naga...