Shadowknight12 Posted December 5, 2010 Report Share Posted December 5, 2010 BronxWench: Heheh, that's great to hear! Jeddek is actually rapidly approaching the point where he won't take any more of the elf's silliness. Which, considering they're about to walk into the death-trap-filled prison of an Old God, is really just about to get pretty zany. I honestly can't wait for next week. FairySlayer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowknight12 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Fairy Slayer: Oh, man, now that is some seriously amazing concrit! I can't really thank you enough for taking the time to do all that! Heh, you caught me, I used the evergreen thing twice, in the ending and in the branch Auran was twirling. I didn't really know how to work it into the story, so I just went with that. Heh, yeah, I wanted to use the same stylistic resource for both cold and warmth. Ah, good catch! Replaced "to keep" with "keeping." Not pedantic at all! Fixed the "usually cheerfulness" thing too. I do indeed use a very formulaic style when I write. I am definitely making mental notes to use all of these wonderful suggestions. Conjunctions, Inversions, Tightening, I'm going to try to use more of those. And yeah, trimming is particularly hard. I had a whole paragraph on the hangover thing he was drinking that I had to eliminate completely. Ah, well, such are the skills we learn with prompts! No, no, not at all, this is DEFINITELY the kind of technical detail I want! And if you want more, go ahead! I devour this sort of thing like Strawberry Shortcake devours... strawberry shortcakes? LOL, I don't even know. Anyway, glad to hear you liked it, I'm definitely having fun writing these two. Thanks again! Asexual Biped: Hahahah, the wyvern gets a line or two in the next prompt as well, I think. And hah, I'm glad Auran comes off as likeable instead of just plain annoying. Thank you, glad you enjoyed it! FairySlayer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowknight12 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Apollo: Mwahahah, yes. Sixteen times Jeddek has arduously climbed a peak to find... nothing. It's hardly a wonder he went straight for the booze when he was finally in the encampment! Heh, yeah, it was a bit tricky to find the connection to Evergreen, lol. Next prompt will be easier, since I'm pre-emptively planning for it. And heh, in the next instalment, we'll actually see why poor Jeddek has been so patient. FairySlayer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairySlayer Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Well, to be fair I did completely miss the evergreen branch; I should have concentrated more on the story rather than juggling stuff. Heck, I even did a second reading straight-through and it still escaped me, so my bad. My brain was already going a mile a minute on other stuff all day so I figured I'd apply some of that to giving some detailed feedback. Again, I mostly pointed out things that I've had trouble with myself and have been struggling to fix ever since they were pointed out to me. (Thanks to Evil Fairy, Stephen King and CloverReef, off the top of my head, and many others.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApolloImperium Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Well, to be fair I did completely miss the evergreen branch; I should have concentrated more on the story rather than juggling stuff. Heck, I even did a second reading straight-through and it still escaped me, so my bad. I missed the first read too FS, LOL! I went back and read more carefully to find it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowknight12 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 pittwitch: Elves are awesome! And yes, indeed! Well, to be fair I did completely miss the evergreen branch; I should have concentrated more on the story rather than juggling stuff. Heck, I even did a second reading straight-through and it still escaped me, so my bad. My brain was already going a mile a minute on other stuff all day so I figured I'd apply some of that to giving some detailed feedback. Again, I mostly pointed out things that I've had trouble with myself and have been struggling to fix ever since they were pointed out to me. (Thanks to Evil Fairy, Stephen King and CloverReef, off the top of my head, and many others.) Oh, pffft, don't even worry about it! I know exactly what it is to review while having to do a handful of other things! I just pointed it out to save a little face! And it was really great feedback, I honestly feel very grateful for it! I will definitely try to work on the issues you mentioned, especially since in dialogue-heavy pieces like this one, they become glaringly obvious. I missed the first read too FS, LOL! I went back and read more carefully to find it Heh, once again, just doing it to save what little face I can. "I swear there's an evergreen branch in there!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowknight12 Posted December 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2010 JayDee: HAH, yes, something like that. After all, long journeys with no bathing leave you pretty smelly! VW? I'm afraid I'm a bit blond-like stupid today, so I completely miss that reference. Heh, I was wondering if people were wondering why the tauren keeps the elf around. I was going to address that very issue on the next prompt, when it's finally revealed why he puts up with such amount of frustration. And LOL, that's *exactly* what I was aiming for, so I'm ridiculously pleased you say that. It's pretty awesome when you achieve what you set out to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowknight12 Posted December 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 Techno-Ninja: Hmmmmmm, perhaps a little of column A and a little of column B? Glad you like my writing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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