JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Games)

[JayDee]

Corinthian Knot

porneater

Awesome! another Tomb Raider fic by JD!!

I'm not usually a fan of dog-sex, since it seems a little degrading to the women involved. But you managed to make it kind of classy here giving Corinth mystical powers and more intelligence than the average hound gave the whole scenario a kind of mythical quality which steered it away from the usual low-class bestiality porn that you often get with dog-on-woman material like this.

Great to read!

Lara's really working her way through the animal kingdom isn't she, lol!

Next up... dolphin gangbang!!

I can see the explanation for that one, "They kept demanding Sona porn, I'd never heard of her, I thought they meant sonar porn... so I had Lara fuck Ecco the Dolphin!" Lara's adventurous. If you have a character who doesn't travel the world it limits the animals they can encounter. That's why nobody's done Daria/Giant Squid porn yet. Probably. I dunno, I think anything with a rapefic tag is gonna have somebody degraded at least a little at some point, by the very nature of non-consensual actions. Heh, never mind the other dogs, he's smarter than the average bear too One for Yogi fans there.... Thanks for your review, I gotta catch up on some of your stories.

[JayDee]

Corinthian Knot

Lovefoxx

Omg, I love dogs but perhaps not as much as Lara lol!

Again, you are so good at telling so much in such short stories, I was actually surprised (but far from disappointed) to see Lara having a more comfortable time and a happy ending of sorts too (collars ooh!) - no over-hung Centaurs or evil Sheep-God statues! Loved it .

Ahh, maybe if Lara loves dogs more than you, you love foxes more than Lara? The old Canine vs Vulpine debate!

It was gonna be a more comfortable time from the picture that inspired it - the artist, Turria, explained that "And her expression had to be a mixture between fear, anger, pain and lustful pleasure. Sort of. . Anyway, yeah, I think she's enjoying it!" I probably went a little too far towards lustful pleasure, but as noted given some of my previous forays into Lara territory (Spiked death trap, xenomorphic chest burster, inexplicably well hung horse ((she liked that one!)) and the aforementioned sheep god...) I'm probably due a few more happier endings for Lara.

Thanks you for your review.

[JayDee]

Corinthian Knot

The Evening Primrose

I LOVED it.

You ought to continue this one.

Thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked it. I dunno that there's much more to write for this one, but I expect I'll cover similar themes again at some point.

Edited November 29, 2011 by JayDee

[JayDee]

...and so Ending the Fan ends with a sprinkling of new story codes and a bunch of ideas/requests from Mistress S, the whip-cracking muse-like suggesting lady of the series, such as the rather brilliant "Bound Daedric Cock" idea (inspired by the Bound Helmet in particular? We may never know ), and the attempt at writing a consensual BDSM-styled scene after much of the somewhat less consensual non-BDSM action earlier.

A review!

Daye

Oh man. You killed off the Fan? :-( Poor guy. Total downer ending.

Loved the bondage sex though. Really good. I just wish you could curb your murderous impulses towards innocent characters. Oh well least Moz managed to avenge him.

What's next? Skyrim porn?

Thank you for your review. You're not alone, even Mistress S who's temprement strikes me as quite harsh said of the death-plan "I'll be sad to see him go". He's hardly an innocent though, the story's rapefic tag applies to him shackling Moz and stiffing her ass without consent, and getting her nailed by a Minotaur up there. He's no Mother Theresa!

Also, Is there anybody who's played Oblivion, had the fan as company, and not killed him? At least it was quick and ungraphic and he went out doing someone he loved There's a nice post-death story idea set in Azura's realm of Oblivion I might get around to writing someday. Bosmer plus Winged Twilight fun!

It's great to hear you enjoyed the bondage sex. I've not really written a lot in that field with both parties into it, and I was a little worried how it would come out. I also liked the image of the fairly honorable/history obsessed master armorer making all the bondage kit for enough cash

I expect I'd do a Skyrim story when I've played it. I see there's 3 or 4 on this site alone already but I am holding off reading them to avoid spoilers. I'll maybe do a Morrowind: Blood Moon story instead, something like "Round the back of the Mead Hall with Svenja Snow-Song" for a poor players nords and ice and snow

Thanks again.

[JayDee]

Ending the Fan

ninesenshi

Very hot last chap. Could really have done without the tragedy though.

SailorNemesis

Thanks for your review! It's great that the chapter came across as hot, I really had doubts at points.

I'm starting to get the impression I have offended and alienated those few readers who stuck with the story through 10000+ words with the ending. Uh... ooops. He's standing By Azura in Moonshadow now! Praise Azura!

[JayDee]

Ending the Fan

...I have an idea for an Epilogue. Interesting point of lore - you can't kill Daedra, they just return to planes of Oblivion. So what if someone is part Daedra when they die? Any part? And what if someone else is on their way to being the new Madgod? Hmmm....

PornEater

I've been following this fic from the beginning, and have to say that was probably the best sex scene in it. I liked how you scaled up all the bondage aspects so they would have an impact on Moz – she does seem to have a pretty tough hide, lol.

The ending took me surprise though. Really didn't expect Fanroth to die like that, and actually felt something when he did, which is pretty unusual in porn – but then again, there are worse ways to go : )

Thanks for your review! The best, you say? Well, I suppose it beat the nosex chapter's moping Really had to scale it up. Without the magic weakness spanking her with anything short of a warhammer wouldn't have a lot of effect, heh.

Thanks for following it all through. Just over a year there, huh...

[JayDee]

Ending the Fan: Because I said I didn't care for stories with sexual assault that ended up with twu wuv, I had to go ahead and write one.

Final chapter in the can, with most of the action in the can also... epilogue? Pah! That woulda meant leaving out the screwin', and readers already had a chap like that.

ninesenshi

I was surprised but happy to see another chap. Much more satisfying ending. One advantage to living in a world of magic is that death is not always the end. I am not familiar with this gameworld so I guess that there are no raise dead spells. But I'm glad they got together after all.

SailorNemesis

Thanks for another review! I glad you think it's a better ending, I sure do too. What kind of world is it where Orcs and Elves can't snuggle? Ahhh.

Daedra can always come back from Oblivion when killed (there was an especially amusing example with a Daedra you could piss off and fight in Morrowind, then could go back later and piss off again), but regular necromancy seems to be more of the mindless shambling corpse/occasionally intelligent wraith variety rather than a full "from death" heal. The occasional reincarnation. That sort of thing. Or Vampires. Whole buncha vampires.

[JayDee]

Ending the Fan

Daye

I think this is the first chapter that really suffered from me not known a darn thing about oblivion.

Still happy endings are good? And moz... fucked a god? serious bragging rights there i suppose.

Thank you for your review! Not normally a problem with my stories, usually they are so much on the porn side of PWP that universe knowlege, characterisation and so on are pretty much irrelevent. I really must apologise for the oversight.

Moz fucked a Daedric Prince (even though she always appears female, Azura is still a 'prince') which is a being of godlike powers. Many of them seem more active/powerful than the Imperial gods, the so-called 'Divines', although in Morrowind my male Orc was gifted the blouse and skirt of the Divine Mara after a quest... which looked surprisingly good on him.

At the end of Ending the Fan Moz was a Daedric Prince herself, raised to become the new Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness, or Madgod. Which sounds totally Mary Sueish but just follows the plot of the expansion pack (the previous Prince of Madness returns to his original role as Prince of Order). The Daedra are the immortal servants of the Daedric princes, lots of different types and in game make up a selection of hostile foes. When killed their spirits leave and are re-spawned. Kinda.

Happy endings can be good! No Country for Old Men might have suffered for having one, but in this case I thought it deserved one. Plus, I still had a couple of Mistress S's ideas I hadn't used. Here's a genuine extract from one discussion covering an un-used idea:

Mistress S: One of my nasty ideas had moz, arms bound behind her, getting fucked face first into a pile of shit, mouth forced open by some form of ring gag.....

JayDee: [references to scat usage etc], Thing is, I can't think why the Bosmer fan would do it to her?

Mistress S: More the forcing her to cum hard with shit in her mouth, maybe have some dire threat in effect? Ie death if she's not degraded or that feeling being required to cure something? Maybe she just tells him he may live whatever fantasy he has for her on his birthday?

...but as much as I tried to use as many ideas as possible, I just suspected this one wouldn't go down well. Might leave too bad a taste in reader's mouths. Probably have to use it for a oneshot. There's a whole lotta chapters wouldn't have been written if not for Mistress S's prodding or ideas though so I remain grateful!

[JayDee]

Corinthian Knot

TentacleFan

I loved this work. Very hot and well written. I felt the description was very well done. The scenario and the outcome of Lara submitting to her new lifestyle was a delight.

Thanks for your review! Very kind words on this story, description is so important! It helped that I based it largely off Turria's excellent picture on H-F of course, hope you checked that out too

If you're keen on dogs in general, my other big Dog work is Unleash the Beast which somehow remains inexplicably popular.

[JayDee]

Review for the horsecocktastic Centaur Mother

Cloudmage23

please continue this story as im interested in the birthing and all that, i can see more happening to this story like a dog or goat. this could be a much better story if you have more sex content! but all in all this is still a great story!

I have another, entirely seperate story with Lara and a dog. It's slightly more morally repugnant! Thanks for your review, and I am glad you enjoyed this short bit from the days of my weekly prompt attempts The technicalities of the birthing... woman, centaur foalaby (is it a foal? is it a baby?) I'm sure the ancient Greeks had an idea or two...

[JayDee]

...ok, so if I ever did the Ending the Fan prequel about Moz's early days, I'd totally call it Before She Was Shameless and toss in every cliche I could think about. Including a vampire. I have the damn plot idea worked out. There's alchemy! And a nice piece of cheese! And far too much punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dammit, write damn me JD. Write.

[JayDee]

Review on Corinthian Knot, a oneshot with 13097 hits and now seven reviews! Yay!

JustS

Awesome stuff.

Thanks for your review, glad you liked it!

[JayDee]

The Legend of Spyro's Death

A story I did as part of a story exchange with a writer called Psycho (presumably he wrote in his mother's clothes and a wig a la Bates), and noted at the start " I don’t get the appeal of Spyro as a sexialised character, but Psycho loves that little purple bastard, so here you go:" As true today as it was then. Although I did tend to think of him with Elijah Wood's Hobbit voice rather than his Spyro voice.

Still, I received a review:

SpunkiSpirou

That was so horrible!

The wording, descriptions etc they were amazing and that, when I say it was horrible thats just cause that would be a horrible end for Spyro.

Thank you for your review! I rather suspect it would be a horrible end for anybody, least of all a cartoon dragon. I admit it's the sort of thing that not even Wile E Coyote would do to Road Runner (...or would he? No! No more story ideas! I'm free! FREE!) but I'm glad to hear you thought the writing was amazement worthy, shows I did my best with it. Thanks again!

[JayDee]

Three reviews on Tomb Raider stories:

Lattice

anon

Nice story! good descriptions I just wish it was longer story to really see her suffer.

Lara Croft's Sheep God Trials

anoanon

Sick! But in a good way

Centaur Mother

anonymous

Beautiful! You have inspired me!

Now, I'm gonna go wildly out on a limb here and assume that all three of these were from the same reader. Thanks for your reviews! Glad you liked 'em, and if you want to see Lara Suffer, try playing the new game drunk. They put in more nasty bits than you could shake a stick at. Terrible business really.

[JayDee]

Review for Corinthian Knot

roybarnes

Well done! Lara's puppies will probably mate with her as well I imagine.

Thanks! And Thanks for the comment generally. Corinth's too smart to allow inbreeding into the line, I think he'd look to find more breeding stock

[JayDee]

A new review for Ending the Fan, the story which followed that old stereotype of orc/elf rough sex. Kind've. I think we can all be glad I never found a way to work in the much requested scat scene.

SillySilenia

Well-written. Been a while since I last played Oblivion, but your story was written well enough that I remembered a lot of my adventures playing that game again, despite not having thought of Oblivion much in recent times - and that while the story is centred around a wholly different kind of adventures.

Thank you for your review! I am glad it comes across as well written, though that may just be the smut fogging up your sensors. I did try to get a lot of references to actual in game events/places etc, since Moz is supposed to be the Player Character. It's been a while since I played Oblivion myself - I think overall I preferred Morrowind... still, another year of bug fixes and I'll get Skyrim and have brand new adventures with tough orc great, great etc neice, Azz gra-Bura! Maybe.

[SillySilenia]

Nah, it's not smut fogging up my sensors. Smut is nicely done, the references are worked in well, not just Great Events but also small, mundane things here and there. Few to no (not sure, didn't exactly go hunting for them) spelling/grammar issues. Couple of interesting twists, both small (you know, I've seen Bound Weapons and Summoned Atronarchs and such, but this is the first time I've seen a summoned/bound Daedric Cock) and large (ending-that-was-not-the-end, real ending).

Oh, and your story may have orce/elf rough sex, but methinks it does not follow the stereotype. 'cause, you know, the Orc isn't the one with the cock. Well, in most chapters.

[JayDee]

That's why I said kind've! There's certainly some fearsome orc cock action in there

The Daedric cock thing was suggested by the person who put in the request for the story continuation. Credit'd 'em for the requesting on the parts they suggested

It's not something you'd want to go wrong, "I got the Daedric Butt by mistake! I just clogged the toilet!"

[JayDee]

Review for Struck Down and Sodomised, the Mortal Kombat 3 story which assumes Sheeva had a cock, but also, and very unlikely, that Stryker has balls.

Ronin

I am a huge fan of Futa-Sheeva stuff, so I thought this was really great JD. Futa-on-male is also a huge turn-on. My only complaint is that this story is a little short-i'd love to see a sequel.

Thank you for your review! It's always good when a PWP fic with a specific kink finds a reader with that kink, totally makes it look like a much better story for the reader Yeah, I guess it is a little short, but it's still the longest thing I've finished in ages I don't know that I'll get a sequel done, but most times in the past when I've said I won't, I end up doing one. I kind've like the idea of him getting spit roasted by Sheeva and Sindel, after all.

[baath]

Review for Struck Down and Sodomised, the Mortal Kombat 3 story which assumes Sheeva had a cock, but also, and very unlikely, that Stryker has balls.

Thank you for your review! It's always good when a PWP fic with a specific kink finds a reader with that kink, totally makes it look like a much better story for the reader Yeah, I guess it is a little short, but it's still the longest thing I've finished in ages I don't know that I'll get a sequel done, but most times in the past when I've said I won't, I end up doing one. I kind've like the idea of him getting spit roasted by Sheeva and Sindel, after all.

I've read it as well, and I liked it. Sheeva, submission and sodomy, hard to go wrong, really.

You managed to hit most of my buttons so naturally I'm one those people to whom the story seems much better, too.

You already acknowledged that it's a bit short, so there's not much point in me remarking upon that, but, let's say... about 10-15% more detail would have been great!

Good title, too - does exactly what it says on the tin.

That's about it, I guess.

[JayDee]

Thanks for your review, I spent a while on different titles looking for something, smart and clever that hadn't already been done and failing all that went for the blatantly obvious "It's what happens" story title with only the tiniest bit of barely-there wordplay. I think more detail is would definitely have been better, I guess my writing is more limited by time than it used to be, sadly.

Am currently working on a story which could serve as a sort-of prequel set during MK2. If I get it all written as planned, it will have three parts and Sheeva won't have a cock until the last part until using a bit of a magic potion thing*, and instead spends the first two parts sexually corrupting Sonya Blade, before using her new magic cock on Cage when he comes to rescue Sonya. That's the plan anyway, here's hoping I can get it written!

*Fyr Water returns! heh. One for the fans of one of my other stories there...

[JayDee]

Shokan Lust, now planned for 7 parts of FF action (and one of a F/M/DG scene) has received a review!

Speyeder

you are doing a wonderful job of writing this, please do continue

Thank you for your review! I was starting to think it wouldn't get one on AFF!

I will hopefully have part 3 done before too long, it is all planned, just got to be written.

[JayDee]

Two more reviews for Shokan Lust!

I Wanna Be Sheeva's Waifu

So let me get this straight. This is a story with Sheeva. It's F/F. Addendum to that, it's REALLY F/F, meaning that for once Sheeva isn't waving around some stupid cock for no reason. It's got mind control. The sex is appealing, arousing, and sensual. And, on top of all that, it's written competently, has an actual story, isn't rushing itself, and gives a damn about the characters and portraying them well.

Are you...are you Santa Clause?

Thank you for your review! I'll try and cover the points off: Yes, it's Sheeva, yes it's F/F, but, well, the guy who requested it did so after reading my other story where Sheeva had a cock. And the plan, at present, has cock in part 8. Which means that parts 2 - 7 will remain F/F, real F/F, but part 8 will have a cock. All of the character development and stuff will be done by end of part 7, though, and part 8 could just be ignored! It may even have a version written with a strap on instead of a cock. The requester does apparently like the Sheeva cock and I wrote my own Sheeva cock story, but it was DG/M. Sorry about this disappointment, and I hope you are able to keep reading and enjoy the rest of chapters until then.

Mind Control - this is the best tag I thought for the herbs used in the bath in part 2 as they have a powerful effect on the mind , and to a lesser extent for a kind of pheremonal effect that Sheeva will have on Sonya. This is because I think it's more convincing for Sonya to end up devoted to Sheeva after sexual assault because her mind's been corrupted. Un-corrupted Sonya has no mercy for rapists, as shown in part 1.

I'm really grateful for your kind words, though, as I'm normally something of a PWP pornographer I thought it might be nice to take a shot at something with a bit more character and build. I honestly don't know how well that aim will turn out, but hopefully I will have reviews to tell me (and the feedback from the requester who's kind of a Sonya Blade specialist).

No, I'm not Santa Claus, but I am related to the Easter Bunny on my father's side through my great grandfather, Johann "Bunny Fucker" Hasenpfeffer.

Thank you again for the review!

Kuflarger

I'm really enjoying the story so far and ho[e you'll keep it up. I must say you really stopped at an annoying point for the 2nd chapter

Thank you! Good to hear that you are enjoying it, I do hope I can keep it up! It's the biggest project I've tried in years and I'd really like to do a good job of it if I can. I'm hoping the next parts will cover the high points of individual days, so hopefully (lots of hope!) the stops will feel natural.

Edited June 23, 2014 by JayDee

[JayDee]

And a further review while I was replying to the previous two Maybe part 1 was possibly a little light on sex, with just a little masturbation...

Shokan Lust

SailorNemesis

Fun, sexy fic. I loved the fisting though the scene needed to be longer and more detailed. I hated the shaving, stop denuding every girl! Hope to read more, hopefully with more fisting and hair. Looking forward to Sonya becoming Sheva's obedient pet.

Thank you for your review! Those female Shokan hands are pretty much designed for fisting, the narrower three-finger shape would fit pretty well. Goro's could be more of a challenge. I'm trying to cover a few different acts between them, so chances are there will be more fingering than fisting, but I have a couple bits in the plan that are thinner on sex content, might try and get some more in there.

The shaving - worth noting that Sonya's been in a dungeon for weeks. Though not referenced, her arms, legs and armpits are probably still pretty hairy. The logic for the shaving was like this: 1) Seemed a different and cool use for Sheeva's claws than the fatality shown in game, 2) Sheeva's own costume was so narrow at the crotch she had to be either shaved or naturally hairless down there, she's just getting Sonya the same way 3) I was worried that Sheeva might have to go before Kahn and not realise she had a blonde hair stuck in her teeth. In quite a few of my stories there's bush Just not this one. Sorry, hope it won't ruin your enjoyment of the rest when it is written.

[JayDee]

And again, Shokan Lust gets a review:

The Todd

Lesbian Shokan Sex For The Win Five!

Thank you for your comment. Yes, indeed, it is a winning combination. Speaking of Five, did Tom Brady ever land one?

Edited June 23, 2014 by JayDee