NightScribe Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Here's a link to a pretty bad fic. It's a bit old, but *shudders* worth sharing. Actually, it wasn't a bad idea, just badly executed. Dude, ever hear of a thesaurus? Oz Story I feel like I owe this to lightgoddess, although I've seen worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Oh, I'm hot tonight (and not just from the weather-which reminds me....) So, a little while ago, I got back from the store, switched on the t.v. and started to change. PoA was on and I got a little distracted...then I realized that, aside from a pair of panties, I was nekkid as a jay bird. To which I shrugged, until...a Snape scene came on and I felt I should cover myself immediately, like he could see me. Do I need help, or is the heat just getting to me? Anyway...here's another for the craptacular file. I haven't checked out her other stuff yet. I can only imagine. Narnia Story Get a freakin' beta! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polywolly Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Oh, I'm hot tonight (and not just from the weather-which reminds me....)So, a little while ago, I got back from the store, switched on the t.v. and started to change. PoA was on and I got a little distracted...then I realized that, aside from a pair of panties, I was nekkid as a jay bird. To which I shrugged, until...a Snape scene came on and I felt I should cover myself immediately, like he could see me. Do I need help, or is the heat just getting to me? Anyway...here's another for the craptacular file. I haven't checked out her other stuff yet. I can only imagine. Narnia Story Get a freakin' beta! Oh, you know Snape can see you! I won't even write fanfiction unless I'm wearing a parka! Anyway... As a Snape/Granger author, I shudder when I see a SS/HG story titled, "The Brake-Up". Brake up! I left a review that encourages her to fix it. Here's hoping... *wanders off giggling and muttering "the BRAKE up..."* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, poly, I caught that too and it's such an easy thing to correct. Proof people! It made me wonder if the magic thing didn't work out and they opened a Midas shop together. "Herm, honey, hand me that socket wrench, would you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Ok, Inkslinger, I think you deserve naughty points for those. Two more for the craptacular bin! I didn't even get past the A/N in the Narnia one! And really, am I the only one who finds it disturbing that someone would write a Tin Man/Dorothy/Scarecrow fic? WTF?!?!? I don't remember Tin Man's bits dangling in the wind from the movie. Was he wearing a tin chastity belt?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polywolly Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, poly, I caught that too and it's such an easy thing to correct. Proof people! It made me wonder if the magic thing didn't work out and they opened a Midas shop together."Herm, honey, hand me that socket wrench, would you?" ...Severus asked, his face marred by two streaks of grease from his last swipe at his sweaty brow. "Metric or SAE, dear?" "Metric. We're British, aren't we? On second though, bring me the standard so I can curse about the difference like a true mechanic." "Certainly..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Dude, before I even start reading there's something wrong. THE FIRST CHAPTER IS MISSING in the Oz fic! What the hell? EDIT: No, never mind, this person just can't COUNT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melody Fate Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 I think that's the first "romantic" fic I've ever read that describes premature ejaculation all over someone's hand. Who says fanfic can't be realistic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Ow... ow... OW! God, has anyone ever noticed how these stories, which are the prime example of horrific writing, almost always have a gaggle of squeeling fangirls/boys leaving a million glowing reviews? And a lot of them ar legit! :: shudders :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jackie_Boi Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 I read the first chapter of the Wizard of Oz fic and I'm not going to say anything about the writing, cos I don't consider my own writing to be all that great, but, I must say, the idea it self is just disgusting. Darn you inkslinger, I didn't know what I was getting myself into!! *I don't read the disclaimers cos I usually know what to expect* ...Question, how does a tin man go about having sexual intercourse? And wouldn't it be terribly uncomfortable for the one recieving that? And does he ejactulate oil?? I didn't read past the first couple paragraphs so...yeah, I don't know if they actually DID it, but, I can assume there was a threesome *I always knew that Dorathy was a hoe*. Thanx Ink, i needed that image to haunt me for the rest of my days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 ...Severus asked, his face marred by two streaks of grease from his last swipe at his sweaty brow."Metric or SAE, dear?" "Metric. We're British, aren't we? On second though, bring me the standard so I can curse about the difference like a true mechanic." "Certainly..." "Thanks, baby," he muttered around the cigarette tucked into the corner of his mouth. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, poly? Parody!!! Consider this (submitted for your approval) "Breaking (or Braking) Up is Hard to Do" Post Hogwarts years, post war. Severus has had his fill of magic and decides to live the Muggle life. He moves to the U.S. and opens a brake & muffler shop in Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, someplace like that. Hermione has tagged along (she handles the books, brainiac that she is) and they're shacking up. People think Sev's Dark Mark is a wicked, but faded, tattoo. Big old Harley in the parking lot (Hermione a biker bitch?) One day, who should roll into the shop, but maybe Ron & Harry, in the Ford Anglia. They're having car trouble during their tour of the States.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanaea Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Oooh, I love it! More, more, more!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 ROTF!! You'll HAVE to post a link to that when you write it guys!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted August 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 I'm seriously considering this absolutely ridiculous parody, just for kicks. I can picture Snape in the work shirt, with the little oval name tag "Sev" sewn on the left breast, scarfing down a Rueben sandwich and a Heinekin when Ron & Harry come in. Hermione tuning into one of those "all love songs, all the time" radio stations, to which Snape promptly changes to classic rock as Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" starts playing. Hermione: "Severus, you know how much I hate that song." Severus: "I'm not listening to those insipid love songs for 10 hours." Hermione: "I liked you so much better at Hogwarts, when you were just a snarky bastard, taking points and handing out detentions." Severus: "Nobody's holding a gun to your head to make you stay." Hermione: "You're not the man I thought you were!" Severus: "Yes, reality so rarely lives up to fantasy. You're not the only one who's disappointed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike256bit Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Do it. Dooo it. I'm dying here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted August 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Yeah, you shook me all night long!!! Sorry, rockin' to AC/DC over here. *chair head bangin'* Okay, my totally serious fic is going to suffer, but I'm going to do a one-shot with this. I'm usually pretty fast with short, humorous stories. I'll keep you posted and put up the link when I'm done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Good God, I could almost smell the grease! Hot monkey love on the oil-stained cement floor...Harry and Ron walking in on all the moanin and groanin, exchanging glances....nah, that wouldn't work. It'd have to be a weird cross-over with Legolas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lightgoddess Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 *clutches side* Please, I'm beggin' you to stop! Yer killin' me! That story is so going to rule! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melody Fate Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 I wanna see it when it's done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madapple Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 it would be a great "round robin." I've become one of the vast masses of godawful writers, as proved below. I cannot believe I've posted this, but I immediately thought. . . **************** Hermione: "Severus, you know how much I hate that song."Severus: "I'm not listening to those insipid love songs for 10 hours." Hermione: "I liked you so much better at Hogwarts, when you were just a snarky bastard, taking points and handing out detentions." Severus: "Nobody's holding a gun to your head to make you stay." Hermione: "You're not the man I thought you were!" Severus: "Yes, reality so rarely lives up to fantasy. You're not the only one who's disappointed." ************* Because of her diminutive height, Snape found it amusing that Hermione could look down her nose at him. She watched intently as Snape fondled his phillip's screwdriver. Sighing heavily she gave into the need to break the awkward silence. "I thought you were going to check the differential fluid in my rear axle." Snape raised his eyebrow in sardonic amusement, making no response. As she watched, he took the cigarette tucked behind his left ear and placed it between his lips. He smoothly rolled the cigarette back and forth. She became mesmerized by the hypnotic motion. After several, long seconds, Hermione remembered his comment. Her temper overcame her sense of self-preservation, "You may be the best mechanic in Hogsmeade, but you still have the manners of a greasy git." He snerked (thank you Sn@peybot) at her, "I'll fix your axle, but first I need to show you my CV shaft." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoryJunkie Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 My newfound ambition is to somehow incorperate a philips head screwdriver into one of my stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polywolly Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 *dies a wonderful death from laughing* I can picture it...the Dark Mark tat...the little, oval name patch..."Sev"... *raises mug of tepid coffee* Here's to spontaneous inspiration! May the greenhorns motivate the masters to bigger, better and greasier things! And…phillips head screwdrivers! *laughs manically* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanaea Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 This is great! I'm lovin' it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightScribe Posted August 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 I thought about the round robin thing, too, but last night I pretty much plotted out a short fic. So how about this? An unofficial parody challenge. Anybody wanting to take the the idea of the mechanic setting and living with Hermione can just run with it. They can be happy together, miserable, or whatever. When complete, put a link in this thread, so the usual suspects know it's up. I've become one of the vast masses of godawful writers, as proved below. Madapple, I found that to be some of the most lyrical garage monkey literature I've ever read. You're too hard on yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polywolly Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Madapple, I found that to be some of the most lyrical garage monkey literature I've ever read. Ha! She's my beta! You can't have her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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