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I Am No Longer Allowed To...


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Posted

I am no longer allowed to listen to Harry Potter movies from a different room lest I read something into the dialogue.

"Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it, and grip it tight. You don't want to be sliding off the end."

Posted

I am no longer allowed to argue in favour of China creating a show called Tiananmen Battlebots, that God should not give Sidney Crosby a huge cock, that English christian orphanages should shut down rather than allow gays to adopt, or that suicide booths should be available in all major cities.

Posted

I am no longer allowed to make "Chicken-a-la-King", when the SO was expecting Chicken Soup! (and you wonder how I got so fucked up) smile.gif

Posted

I am no longer allowed to use the impending snow storm as an excuse to avoid going to the grocery store. Just because it's going to snow in, let's say, 6 hours, doesn't mean that I can't accomplish something between now and then, especially if someone were to force feed me amphetamines poke me with a cattle prod.

Guest echtrae
Posted

I am no longer allowed to tickle my wife when she is trying to be sinister (apparently it ruined the impression that she was trying to make).

Posted

I am no longer allowed to inform my husband that the snow is just going to drift again after he shovels it. Apparently, that isn't very constructive. Practical, rational perhaps, but not constructive.

Posted

I am no longer allowed to refer to snowfall as "insidious stuff" to the city clean-up crew.

Posted

I am no longer allowed to imagine Redsliver and Echtrae in an In-A-Box infomercial.

Trae: And if you call in the next seven minutes, you will get a special deluxe copy of Special Delivery, the hottest romance novel since the AFFO went public.

Red: That's right, Trae. But that's not all. The next fifteen callers will also receive two free tickets to the AFFOOB, the most thrilling musical orgy to hit Broadway in...forever!

Trae: By dialing 888-1INABOX, you'll not only find yourself with the latest in lifelike adult entertainment, delivered right to your door. You'll also have access to all things In-A-Box.

Red: You make it sound like In-A-Box is sweeping the nation!

Trae: You better believe it!

*Both grin and wink at the camera in perfect sync*

Red: In-A-Box Male Order Company.

Trae: Even your fantasies never looked this good.

Guest SilverFox-chan
Posted

I am no longer to bitch at my husband for procrastinating when I'm doing it as well...

Posted

I am no longer allowed to suggest that Dazzled is spoiling us with her frequent updates of the MSV lest she start holding back on us and Poly and Madapple strangle me. laugh.gif

Guest SilverFox-chan
Posted

I am no longer allowed to breathe after making a hotel reservation that almost costs me $1200 ....* passes out from lack of oxygen and sticker shock * blink.gif

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