Pet Peeves-What can't you stand

[Ezriee]

I absolutely HATE with a fricken BURNING passion when a writer can not stay in the correct verb tense throughout a story. I see so many writers starting to do it on fanfiction.net like a fricken plague. Luckily, I've only seen a few stories like that over here, but I know they're here too.

Examples? I can list a TON of stories where it happens, but just as an example of what of what I see over and over again:

"He finally awoke. His vision is still blurry, but he already knows he isn’t at home or at the hospital. As his vision cleared, he saw the seat in the corner. The figure was sprawled out (as much as it could be), his silver hair is tasselled from the rain storm the night before."

As you can see, it switches from that crappy present tense, to past tense, back to present tense. To me, it starts to read like stage directions and drives me insane! A lot of it is from young writers and it makes me wonder if they're paying attention in their classes.

I don't pretend to be a grammar expert, and its been about ten years since I've been in any high school classroom, but even I know that's not right. It doesn't even flow, and it was harder for me to trying and write a sample of what is above than to do it correctly.

[Serani]

Some of the above annoy the hell out of me: Over-powerful characters, complete lack of research (in anything - I mean, come ON, we have the internet, for crying out loud), bad spelling, bad grammar (how many grammar tutorials/websites are out there?), entire conversations in another language (with no translation), songfic where half the fic is simply the lyrics, and starting a story and not finishing it, and disappearing.

All of those annoy me to no end.

However, some things I'd love to address myself:

Sex involving a minor - first off, the word "minor" is very subjective. Minor according to whom? The US? Canada? Where in the US? Age of consent for sex is different from one state to the next. I was 15 when I had sex the first time, with a man I was very much in love with. I was also mature enough to handle it. That was 21 years ago. Minor in, oh, feudal Japan? In that case "minor" would be...oh.... 10. They married at 13. (And sometimes that was considered old). And a month before a birthday? Is that ONE month REALLY going to make that much difference in their maturity? Being able to handle sex isn't about the number. It's about the maturity. Please.

Happy Endings - Now, I have no problem with happy endings. In fact, I rarely read stuff if it's GOING to end badly, and I know that, though if I know it, then I'm less likely to have a problem with it. No, life isn't always happy. But that's why I read. I don't read for reality. If I want reality, I can turn on CNN. If I want reality, I'm not going to read about a completely different world full of ninja who use Chakra to do things that are otherwise impossible. I'm not going to read about a demon who has a good heart, dog ears and loves a human who isn't going to be born for another 500 years. Having a problem with a happy ending just because its happy pisses me off to no end. Killing a character or making them break up and be unhappy for no other reason than happy endings don't exist is just ridiculous. That kind of writing can cause me to not read anything of that authors work ever again.

Oh and on verb tenses, Ezriee, you are right on the mark. Present tense also annoys me to no end. It is extremely difficult to write well in present tense. So, honestly, it's best to avoid it altogether. I can understand why someone might want to - the idea of trying to help them experience something first hand, but if the rest of the story is written well, the reader will feel like they're firmly involved, anyway.

Edited May 15, 2009 by Serani

[Clockwork_Knight]

This is such good advice, whether your non-human character is an alien, a mythical being, a furry, a robot or even an anthro vehicle. It can be fun to draw comparisons between anthro characters and humans, but if you can't imagine them being significantly different in at least some aspects then you're better off just writing about humans. And since this is AFF, they definitely aren't going to have sex exactly like humans. Writing them doing so takes all the pervy fun out of it.

I can imagine that most carnivorous anthros would view lesser species as a source of prey not as something to fuck the brains out of constantly as most furry writers would have us believe.

What about complete non humans, creatures that have little to no human though process like my Mimic. Its a shape stealing changing that sees sex as a joke. It has no means or need to biologically reproduce, it just creates mini versions of itself by budding as long as it has an abundant food source. It like to dissolve its items from the inside out. Children, given how vulnerable they are, is it’s favorite source of prey.

It has no qualms about picking a baby off any more then a hungry tiger or other predatory would.

[Guest DeusExProcella]

Most of my pet peeves (and I don't know exactly what constitutes necromancing a topic since none are terrible recent) are pretty isolated to the Powerpuff Girls fandom, since that is the one I care the most about.

PPGxRRB in Highschool OMG< - This just plagues FF.net, that's partially why I've started coming here (and the ability to add heavier content to my current work). It wouldn't be so bad, I like it in moderation, if it wasn't done so frustratingly horribly nine times out of ten. The characters are shipped together based on the color outfit they wear:

Brick x Blossom

Boomer x Bubbles

Butch x Buttercup

Very little work is done trying to give them realistic personalities. The girl featured is given the personality of the author, the boy is just idealized or turned into Edward, and the romance happens just because. It's just sickening. And usually results in the rest of my pet-peeves.

Crime Doesn't Exist Until the Plot Demands It - For some reason, when the Powerpuff Girls grow up, the world becomes a place of perfect peace, save for teenage drama. The girls were called for everything from the end of the world to scooping a litter box (I kid you not) when they were children, but apparently the incompetant morons in Townsville became self-sufficient in 7-10 years. When a crime does happen, it's just to advance the mindless PPGxRRB drivel.

We Have Super Powers? - When the girls grow up, apparently they forget they have ultra super powers until, again, the plot demands it. Most of the time, that would be...never. As children the girls flew everywhere, used their super strength without thinking, and used their other powers for mundane tasks like cooking and ice skating. Yeah, they outgrow that apparently. And this lack of superpower apparently has no negative effect on the girls. They have essentially been stripped of something as natural as their five senses, and it has no adverse effects.

Will there be love or will they fight? PPGXRRB!!!!!!! - If I see that in a summary, I refuse to read the story. If you're going to pose a question that the story is meant to answer, don't answer the question yourself in the summary, please.

The girls are wiccans and the RRBS are vampires! - I'm not going to waste my virtual breath explaining this one.

Chatspeak/Overused Abbreviations - I think this is a pretty universal one, and it goes hand and hand with:

Poor structure/spelling/grammar - I don't care how great or original a story is...if it lacks any sense of style and structure I cannot bring myself to read it.

Horrid Stories with Trillions of Reviews - I really wish that being well-written and at least somewhat original was enough to get a story reviews, but unfortunately it all relies on if your story fits the fandom's favorite shippings and plots. Though I from what I've gathered, around here it relies on how many synonyms you use for penis and vagina and how many ways you can describe the act of intercourse.

So...there's my somewhat late to the party tl;dr first post.

[Clockwork_Knight]

Horrid Stories with Trillions of Reviews

This plauges FF.net like most people could not belive. I've seen plenty of good fics that are ignored, snarked at, flamed and worse becouse the fic is realsitc or doesnt squish characters that would never go together. SUe fics, self inserts, OOC and what not get far more reviews then the better fics.

Why ? I dont know.

Maybe some one should start a poll or something to find out.

[Serani]

This plauges FF.net like most people could not belive. I've seen plenty of good fics that are ignored, snarked at, flamed and worse becouse the fic is realsitc or doesnt squish characters that would never go together. SUe fics, self inserts, OOC and what not get far more reviews then the better fics.

Why ? I dont know.

Maybe some one should start a poll or something to find out.

I think I've kind of fallen victim to this (not to toot my own horn). I swear I think the biggest problem is that there's no yaoi in mine. I have a regular reviewer over on FF.net and I've had a couple of other reviews, but I've had something like three or four who just trolled and wanted to tell me how sick I am because I wrote about cousins (Neji/Hinata). Ugh.

I'd sure love to understand why that is. I'd like to think that maybe it's because it is good and they can't find anything to complain about? But somehow, I doubt that's the case...

[JayDee]

Darn it all to heck. My stories are not only thoroughly horrid but also rather beastly as well, and I hardly get any reviews!

[Clockwork_Knight]

My muses are NOT Pez sex dispensers. I'm sure I have covered this at least three times in my LJ. When any of my muses have been traumatized in a fic or Rp then there is pretty much no way in hell their having sex with some one willing for a long time.

Its a peeve of mine to see any rape or torture fir reduce a strong willed character into a pile of quivering, screaming, crying at every shadow pile of goo. I like a good dark rape fic but the act itself is not as important as the after math and way too many authors, especially young ones, focus far too much on the act itself. More often then not the character turns into the stereotypical emo.

Underused and overused plot hooks, nothing like reading the same over used crap over and over and over again. Things like jealousy, blackmail and lust are often underused or badly done while sappy romance is over done.

[Guest sylvir]

Author notes taking up an entire chapter space to tell anyone who hits the link that the chapter is in the works or the author lost their computer or something. More than once a story I have been following gains a new chapter and I hit the link thinking "cool they updated. I'm so excited." Then I have to read some note. Either post something or don't. Don't trick people into thinking something is there when there isn't. Your fans will wait if the story is good enough. True fanfiction readers understand that this is a hobby and the authors are real people who have to work, eat, sleep, and some take care of families.

[Clockwork_Knight]

True fanfiction readers understand that this is a hobby and the authors are real people who have to work, eat, sleep, and some take care of families.

Unfortunately a vast majority of fanfic readers do not understand that this is a hobby and will pester the piss right out of you for updates on stories.

Or pester you to update\finsh old stories that you have stated rather clearly that you are NOT going to update. In my case its old stuff that is just plain bad. That and the fandom is over run with sues and screaming fangirls.

Long ass author notes that take up most the page.

Sues

People who leave short crappy reviews like Mure Plsease, Update now, I like this, update please. They do spell it like that.

[SereneLies]

My muses are NOT Pez sex dispensers. I'm sure I have covered this at least three times in my LJ. When any of my muses have been traumatized in a fic or Rp then there is pretty much no way in hell their having sex with some one willing for a long time.

Its a peeve of mine to see any rape or torture fir reduce a strong willed character into a pile of quivering, screaming, crying at every shadow pile of goo. I like a good dark rape fic but the act itself is not as important as the after math and way too many authors, especially young ones, focus far too much on the act itself. More often then not the character turns into the stereotypical emo.

Underused and overused plot hooks, nothing like reading the same over used crap over and over and over again. Things like jealousy, blackmail and lust are often underused or badly done while sappy romance is over done.

Okay so, what happens if there is no aftermath and the character just dies.

I wrote a fic where the main character is tortured and raped. However, I did not focus on the rape what so ever. In fact I overshadowed it with the torture and what led up to the capture of the victim. And like I said, there really is no aftermath...

Would that be considered an original thought or simply an annoyance to any who liked the main character? Just curious...

[Silvyraven]

Pet Peeves:

Non-Native English speakers without a beta:

(please not the WITHOUT A BETA) I have nothing against people that are multilingual. Nothing wrong with someone that English is not their first language. However, if you are going to write a story in English find a native English speaker to read over your work with a fine tooth comb.

There are lots of stories out there that I am sure are amazing, but I cannot read them. It's similar to the uncanny valley effect only with words. I know something isn't right but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Using words from a language you do not speak:

I don't care if the main character is Japanese or not. If YOU don't speak the language, please do not butcher it by trying. If you want to indicate someone is speaking in a different tongue just put *'s around it or make it italics or something. The only thing worse than reading broken Japanese is hearing people speak it. This goes for all languages, the only reason Japanese is singled out is because that is the main language this happens in.

Not using a Beta

I am dyslexic, if I didn't use a beta anything I write would be impossible to understand. I have to run my forum posts through 2 spell checkers and hope for the best most the time. So yeah, just because it looks ok to your eyes doesnt mean you haven't missed something. I can read a story 5 times and miss a spelling or gramatical error, cause I know how it SHOULD sound in my head and sometimes I may not really SEE what I am reading. Fresh eyes are a good thing.

Sexual Orientation:

Unless the original creator has come out and said (insert character here) is (insert sexual orientation here), then I think that is one of those things that is up in the air. Unless it's specifically addressed, you don't know so have fun with it. If it is specifically addressed then as an Author it is your responsibility to put Cannon OOC at the top of the story. People will make a character a certain orientation because thats what they want when the cannon is clearly the opposite.

Writing a story for the reviews/reviewers:

This one is a sore subject for a lot of people, but I see it more than I like. A story starts out and it's really good, then it changes and if you look at the reviews you know why. In order to please the reviewers and get more reviews the Author is writing what is being suggested instead of what they had originally wanted. This usually results in a steaming pile of crap that the Author is unhappy with.

I get it, reviews make a person feel good. They are like the sprinkles on a cupcake. It makes it all better, but you know, that cupcake is just as tastey without them.

What should bother me(bothers everyone else) yet doesn't:

Mary Sue/Gary Stu:

you want to write an off the wall self insert that is the most awesome of everything then you go right ahead. I have no problem with this. I find these stories are actually entertaining and there is a place for them. Some of them are bad, but that doesnt mean the Mary Sue is bad, just that nothing was going to save that story.

Cannon OOC:

This has to be done right. If it is marked at the head of the story that the Cannon is OOC then I am ok. Sometimes you just want to experiment. Maybe give them a side to their personality no one ever thought of before. I could give examples of where this was done and was absolutly wonderful (made the cannon even more real to me) but I don't want to embarass anyone or anything. Being OOC is not always a bad thing but there is a fine line that you have to walk. You make the cannon too OOC and it's no longer that character. Plus if there is a warning right at the top, it's my fault for reading on and I have lost my right to bitch.

[Clockwork_Knight]

Using words from a language you do not speak: Nothing like shoving broken badly done Japanese into any fic. Even better when its set in a world were Japanese does not even exist.

Not using a Beta- I have to use a Beta, more then one. I am dyslexic like Silvyraven and I often get my tenses messed up. There are times even when my spell checker has no idea what the hell I am trying to type. They often catch things I do not.

On the other hand there are some people who Beta that should NOT be Betas. FF.net is a place where you have to wade though the masses of bad Betas and wanna be’s to find any good ones that can actually to their job

Sexual Orientation: I can't stand gender bending. Same goes for most Mepreg. The next time I hear some fangirl going on about having the baby coming OUT of a man's penis by coming through the urethra I will do us all a favor and tie them to the train tracks in the path of an oncoming train.

Writing a story for the reviews/reviewers: I rarely do this myself. It hits on too many sore spots and generally rubs me the wrong after a reviewer contacted me over IM and pestered on me to no end trying to get me to write them a Yuri fic. At the time I refused to write Yuri since I was so bad at it and it was set in a universe that I had little knowledge of.

[SereneLies]

As a writer I hate it when I am writing a story (trying to do my best) and people try to rush me. If you want a good story, you need to give me time. Especially considering that I have a real life to take care of.

HOWEVER, people who kill their stories bother me; it's disappointing to read through a good story simply to find out the author has given up

As well, you guys were mentioning not liking when Japanese is inserted into a story. What about formalities like: -sama, -kun, -chan, etc?

[Guest sylvir]

HOWEVER, people who kill their stories bother me; it's disappointing to read through a good story simply to find out the author has given up

I hate this more then anything in the world.

This in the Naruto fandom in the yaoi section with a story called "In You Eyes" Long, well written, and just getting to the hook up. Not only did they give up but they also deleted it completely.

Other languages: This is people showing off their dictionary using abilities and I hate it.

Speach patterns: Sso-mme ti-times y-you haha-have a p-per-sson who sst-stutt-tt-ers. or is from, maybe, and zay talk like zis and your stuck reading vardly spelled vurds zat ya can varely make out. Instead of making reading difficult just state how the speach is.

Ex: ("Would you like to, um, like, do some thing, maybe?" Somewhere in his heavy stutter she heard the dinner invitation.) There easy.

1st Person: I prefer 3rd person but will read 1st person except when the main character talks directly to the reader. Ex: ("Hi there my name is .... and let me tell you about my life." and "Don't you just hate when that happens?" or "I cooked breakfast then ate it but the rest is pretty boreing so I'll just skip over it.") 1st person is the main character telling you a story but not like that.

BDSM-When the research becomes showing off: Slave and master is a lifestyle choice that I have no problem with and some of the stories I find are written well. What I have a problem with is when the relationship gets lost in the actions and tools. The author gets too involved in describing the rack that the sub is being tied to that they looked up in a fetish magazine and they forget about the character. Yes it gives the story some rich detail to know exactly what the instruments look like but I want to know how vulnerable or excited the sub feels being chained up or what's going through the dom's mind as they blindfold and tie up their partner. These are two people who have to completely surrender theirselves to another and trust that person with their safty and enjoyment and thats what I want to read about. Authors forget about this as they show off how well they can describe the pictures they looked up in a BDSM magazine.

Simple Grammar:

There, Their, & They're: He lives over there. That is their car. They're going to the mall.

Your & You're: Pick up your toys. You're going to be the death of me.

Cum & Come: He threw away the cum filled condom. "Oh god, I'm going to come." or "I'm coming."

Warn Me Please: There are certain warning that need to be done 1st. There are more but the ones I can pull out of my head are, male pregnancy, original characters in fandom, and the pairing. In my mind these are the topics that descide whether or not a person will read it or not.

OC Invasion-Fandom Only: Some fandoms have to many lovable characters and the author can't bring themselves to turn someone into a villain so they create a bad guy. Other times an OC is made because the author wants to write someone they have complete control over. My peeve comes from when the OC gets too big or the author has created too many. It's gone too far when there is an entire chapter with no fandom characters and just the OCs. That's what I hate.

Text in dialogue: "OMG, WTF was he thinking?" Just stop it already. If you're on this site you have to be over 18, so act it.

Diary Story: Most of the time I run into the ones when the character keeping the diary is an abuse or rape victim and they describe it in detail. I hate these stories because I've never read one where the writing is natural. It's as if the author has never actually kept a diary of their own. A good example of this is the book "Go Ask Alice" that is really written by a doctor not a drug addicted teen.

Feel the burn-Yaoi: Ex. (He swatted his lovers hand away as he tried to prepare him. "Just do it, I want to feel you.") Ouch. There is a forum called "A to Z guide to body parts and sexual acts" I'm sure somewhere in there it explains why this situation is extremely painful and not to be attempted.

Seme & Uke-Yaoi: Ex. ("Come here my little uke.") These are positions not lables. There is something about one character calling there partner 'seme' or 'uke' that makes me grit my teeth and roll my eyes. Do real life gay couples call each other top and bottom to their face? I'm a girl so I don't know but I don't think so.

Check Format: After a story is posted go look at it. Make sure it isn't one big paragraph, that the bottom is cut off, or the entire thing isn't in bold or italics. This takes a couple seconds. You posted it so obviously you want us to read it so why not make it easy on us.

[marley_station]

This in the Naruto fandom in the yaoi section with a story called "In You Eyes" Long, well written, and just getting to the hook up. Not only did they give up but they also deleted it completely.

I think she pissed off quite a few people when she did that, LOL. The fandom is still asking what happened to her stories.

Simple Grammar:

There, Their, & They're: He lives over there. That is their car. They're going to the mall.

Your & You're: Pick up your toys. You're going to be the death of me.

Cum & Come: He threw away the cum filled condom. "Oh god, I'm going to come." or "I'm coming."

You left out a couple of good ones:

Defiantly versus Definitely. Whoever sold these people their busted-ass Spell-Checker needs to come clean. Seriously, it's an epidemic now.

To versus too. So many writers, and no one seems to be able to figure this one out. Somewhere, a muse is weeping.

[Silvyraven]

Wow, you guys came up with some I didn't even think of and agree with.

There has only been one time where a story was cut off, never finished, and I could not get angry. Other wise yeah, unfinished stories are just a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Especially the really good ones cause you just pull your hair out wondering where it's gonna go.

[windofthenorth]

Ack, so many things I hate.

The Usual - Bad grammar/punctuation, OOCness, Mary/Gary Sues, etc.

Unrealistic post-rape behavior - This is a BIG one. For some reason, a lot people think that girls who've been raped turn into sluts. Countless stories (I'm think of the Harry Potter fandom in particular) have a girl being raped and then when she shows up in the story, she's wearing a hooker outfit and practically throwing herself on the men.

Author's Notes in the middle of the prose -I will not read any more of a story once I come across an inserted author's note.

Weird names for no reason - I can't stand it when stories that take place in the here and now have characters named "Amaara", or "Samael", or "Taeryn", or something like that. I'm not being xenophobic, just honest: unusual names that don't fit the story disrupt the reading. I think a lot of authors feel they're being creative with the names, but they're not. The names are dumb.

Lots of hits, few reviews - This, I'm sure, is a common pet peeve. The site says 5000 people have looked at my story, so why do I only have four reviews? C'mon people, leave some feedback!

Judgmental reviewers - This is especially common in stories involving minors. Some self-righteous prick leaves a short (or sometimes sermon-length) rant about the evils of pedophilia (or whatever pissed them off) and how sick and twisted the author must be. In doing so, they completely ignore that they had fair warning with the tags, and that they have no idea what prompted the writer to share their story.

Self-effacing author's notes - If you don't think your story is very good, why should I read it? I'm not a charity.

Mpreg- Never have I ever read a convincing mpreg story. (Don't send me links to your favorites, though)

Suddenly Gay/Suddenly Straight - When a character who is canon gay/straight does a switcharoo, usually for someone's Mary/Gary Sue.

Really short reviews OR reviews that only ask for an update - Neither are actual feedback. You might think that "this was really good!" says it all, but WHAT exactly was good? The sex? The dialogue? And you might think that the good review is built in to a request for an update, but 9 out of 10 authors would rather have genuine feedback.

More later as I think of them.

Edited July 18, 2009 by windofthenorth

[marley_station]

Self-effacing author's notes - If you don't think your story is very good, why should I read it? I'm not a charity.

I'm with you there 110%. If you thought it sucked when you wrote it then WTFH did you post it (or why did you tell us so)? How desperate for validation do you have to be to post something with an author's note that states you don't think it's any good?

This goes back to a statement I posted before about people writing because they need glory. If you need it, then learn how to interface with your reading audience in order to get it. The first thing you have to figure out, though, is who your reading audience is. Many of us who read fanfiction also write it, and have precious little empathy for a fellow writer who is willing to bash themselves pre-emptively in the interest of their bottomless egos.

[Flintlock6]

Anyways - The word is anyway, people!

[SereneLies]

I am attempting to write a yaoi fic right now and I know what its like to not be entirely sure of yourself; but I agree that it is annoyong when people write comments that belittle their work. If you are insecure about what you have written, and you want to let people know, then say that.

But at least give people a chance to decide whether they like it or not; don't automatically give them negative feelings...

[MorbidFantasy]

I'm with you there 110%. If you thought it sucked when you wrote it then WTFH did you post it (or why did you tell us so)? How desperate for validation do you have to be to post something with an author's note that states you don't think it's any good?

This goes back to a statement I posted before about people writing because they need glory. If you need it, then learn how to interface with your reading audience in order to get it. The first thing you have to figure out, though, is who your reading audience is. Many of us who read fanfiction also write it, and have precious little empathy for a fellow writer who is willing to bash themselves pre-emptively in the interest of their bottomless egos.

It's a psychological impulse to either strut your ego around or efface it in front of other people to incite a response. I've done both in the past, and am currently sticking to the "I R0XX0RZ IN MY WRITING SO GO READ MY FICS" advert.

I tend to get chatty in my chapter updates because I want reader feedback, but I understand that for some people that is a huge turn off. They'd rather get right to the action and skip all the author's notes. Luckily I enjoy my own writing enough that I don't necessarily need rave reviews and fanmail to support my admittedly unhealthy writing habit.

My other pet peeve is just like the last person said about unfinished business. I hate reading through 30+ chapters of a good piece before the author drops off the face of the earth without a second word. If I ever decided to jump ship from AFF I'll be sure to at least put up a notice with my last update to notify my readers that I'm calling it quits.

[Guest FreeSpiritedOne]

I cannot stand:

Being blackmailed for reviews. People who say things like, "Once 10 of you review I'll post the next chappie," or "I won't post if you don't review so tell me what you think!" are ignored by this reader.

Summaries that advertise all of the stories faults via mispelling, lack of punctuation and glaring grammatical error(s) followed by begging potential readers to look past the shit summary and read anyway because the "story is really good".

Using words incorrectly like waste and waist or definitely and defiantly or, my personal favorite, exercise and exorcise.

Inserting big words to sound intelligent when the character in question does not have the vocabulary. Writing Jack Sparrow? Go to town with the million dollar words. Writing a developmentally delayed 8th grade drop out who hates to read? Perhaps this is not a person who would say circuitous or erudite. Just a thought.

Time traveling stuff in a story not about time travel. Penicillin was discovered in the 1940's, ergo penicillin was not available to treat wounds in 1888. This cannot be circumnavigated by feeding the wounded character moldy bread because of the healing properties of the mold (though it did score points for being entertainingly incorrect).

[Miss_Lizbet]

A few things that drive me insane, no matter what I'm reading; fanfic or otherwise...

1. Ending every sentence with an exclamation point. This is frighteningly common in garden-variety internet 'erotica' (I use that term quite loosely). Example: And then he saw her! Her hair was around her shoulders and loose! She walked toward him slowly! How did he get so lucky!

2. Lack of appropriate punctuation, syntax, grammar and capitalization. I will freely admit that I'm a language whore, and my standards could be considered pretentiously high when it comes to perusing the written word. However, there are some basic rules of grammar, punctuation and capitalization that anyone who has made it out of Junior High School should be following, especially if they're posting their writing for the enjoyment of others.

3. Writing/Using the wrong form of a homophone. Examples of this infuriating habit include using the wrong forms of their/they're/there or to/too/two, its/it's, etc.

4. Putting apostrophes before the 'S' at the end of a plural word. This. Makes. Me. Crazy. Examples: The egg's were for sale. The car's on the road went fast. The girl's were pretty.

The end. I have descended from my pedestal :]

[Miss_Lizbet]

Writing a developmentally delayed 8th grade drop out who hates to read? Perhaps this is not a person who would say circuitous or erudite. Just a thought.

Hilarious...those three sentences made my day.