Altari

OK, I'll start. I'd like to see a Miroku/Sesshoumaru fic, with no sex, but the implication of things to come. Other than that..someone else can make up a plot. But, an actual challenge. Pairing : Inuyasha/Kagome Universe : Canon Genre : Comedy Rating : Adult+(+?) Warnings : Pregnancy, M/F, etc AND NO rape, anal, BDSM, or any other kinky deviation (this is supposed to be funny) Timeline : 5 years after series begins Form : Whatever floats your boat. Basic Plot : Kagome gets the baby bug, but can't bring herself to openly ask Inuyasha to get her knocked up. Instead, she asks the others to help her drop hints (think Miroku saying "You know...you do it like this..." with thrusts of the hips). Unknown to her, Inuyasha is also a virgin and has no idea "where babies come from". At some point, Sesshoumaru should explain the "requirements" to Inuyasha quite stoicly. There MUST be at least 2 lemons. One with an extremely uncomfortable first sexual encounter (please skip the notion of how much it hurts her to lose her maidenhead) in which Kagome is left unsatisfied and Inuyasha passes out; the other should be less uncomfortable but more slapstick (sitting on a stick? grass burn down there? whatever you choose). Total fluff, no action, with the end goal of making it as funny as possible, while keeping everyone IC.

On the Recomended Reading box, how do I format the input? I'd like to link to authors/stories, but all HTML seems to be stripped away. A bit of guidance on what can be input would be appreciated.

Please? Pretty please? I have this fic : Unrequitted Love The title seemed appropriate in 2005 when I first wrote it, but now I hate it. I also can't get a good description going. And chapter 11 is slow as [cold] molasses. I fail all around with this one!

Hey, I just submitted that second Inuyasha/Rin story. Give that section some love. I agree, though. The Inu/Kag; Sessh/Kag; */Kag pairings are annoying. Oh look...another story in which Kagome loses her purity to an uncaring-cum-soft-hearted demon. Although, IMO, the AU pairings are even worse. Except with less grammar... cu, give some challenges!

Well...I'm going to vent my frustrations on this. If I do fan fics, I only do Inu. It seems that some of the readers of Inu stories are...borderline illterate? I hate to be a bitch, but y'know, it is what it is. I really enjoy heat of the moment stories. I don't need to know the back story or the motivation. I prefer to let my mind wander, feel what the writer was trying to capute and imagine what could have happened. The setting Kettle posted...I'd wonder how he got there, why was she doing that, and so on. The wondering would make it even more tantilizing. So...then...why do some readers have to know every single intimate detail of every single thing going on in every single character's mind and every single step that got them to this point when reading a fic? Bah!

Written something for purely writing it "in that moment"? When I think of fics like this, I think of movies such as The Terminal or Girl With a Pearl Earring. You meet characters (but don't know how they got where they are), things happen to the characters, and then the story is over. You see only what is happening to them in the particular stretch of time that the fic/movie is going on for. I've written a few of these. Anyone else? If you have, have you ever gotten the "WTF is going on here?!" comments... Like a fic can't be good without knowing the character's entire life story and reasoning behind every action. I always hand these over to friends (that I know are literate) and they get it just fine. It's a little demoralizing, to say the least...

Ewww...I clean mine daily (sometimes more often than that). But...it still gets dirty in between washings. It's a hole, in my belly, which sweats, and is covered up ALL DAY LONG to get grody until I shower at night (or feel like I just can't let it be a collection hole any longer and scrub it out with a baby wipe). Why would I want to subject hubby to sticking his tongue into (or over or around) the sweat repository? *covers belly button in shame*

Yeah that's getting WAY to psychologically involved with a character. Orson Scott Card (my all time fave author) wrote a story about a man like himself, living in a situation similar to one Card once lived in, whose oldest child is murdered after being molested. Does that mean that Card secretly wishes that would happen to his child? Nope. It means that he's a great writer, who can seperate himself and go into weird, sick fantasy worlds where any amount of deplorable craptastic stuff can happen.

>_> Agreed. I've developed two new peeves over the few days since I first posted. 1) Going along with yours, the pubic hairs. I get a bit miffed when people reference "the soft down" or other fluffy, cuddling images of a bush. Whose pubic hair isn't thick and coarse and stiff? It wouldn't serve it's evolutionary purpose (keeping out the nasties) if it was downy fluff. 2) The hymen. If you're going to mention "maidenhead" or "virginity" at least get your anatomy straight. It's OUTSIDE. It's always there until a woman gives birth. It has a hole in it to allow entrance. Women don't always bleed. It doesn't always hurt. Guys don't always notice it. I know it's romantic to talk about a first lover taking a woman's virginity, but, please, at least be true to basic female anatomy.

You could make him purposely stubborn, and use "cop shows" as a reference for how interrogations work. Having never been in one, I'm not sure if they are actually accurate. Usually, in the shows, the cops come in, ask a few questions, and leave the person alone to get them to crack. The coppers could ask him a question, and he could provide a flippant response (something that has absolutely nothing to do with what they are asking, or something that is an outright lie). They'd just leave him there. However, it will always seem to be drawn out. The best you could do would be to leave a lot of room for the criminal's introspection.

That could work! One of new favorite authors, Lian Hearn, always gets deathly close to sex scenes, then just drops you. He talks about the kissing, the touching, the frantic behavior. He removes her clothes...Then...when they were done... It's so beautiful and horrible at the same time.

Ditto My big wake up call was at a BestBuy. I was asking the kid about cool new Wii games. He said, "Try Mario!" I say, "I've been playing Mario since 1988." He responds, "....*crickets*...." "*Sigh* You weren't alive in 1988, were you?" "No, ma'am." :D ><

Grammar and spelling problems are a much bigger deal than any words. But, there are 3 words that make me hold my breath in a fic : Yet, neither, nor. "Yet they could use neither yet nor neither correctly." This was my husband's little quip when he first noticed the phenomena in college. Seriously, nor must follow neither, and you cannot string together conjunctions to get phrases such as and but yet (yes, I *have* seen this used in a fic!).

It seems my reviewers fall into 4 categories. Do yours? 1) Teh Awesome These are the reviewers we all hope for. They give criticism or praise honestly. Their reviews are coherent and not total babble. 2) Sticklers They try to masqueade as Teh Awesome, but fail. 3) The illiterate lolz-catzers 4) The non-descript The last group (#4) gets under my skin the most.

Hi Saigo! It looks good but a bit rough. Here are my nitpicky suggestions. This is all one sentence! Oh my! You're going to leave your readers A person's brain can only take in so much data at once. We see a period, and our brains take a very brief pause to parse through all the information we've just gone through. If you give your readers shorter sentences, they'll keep up with the flow better and be more riveted. If you keep things long, then they'll spend most of their time trying to figure out what's going on instead of enjoying your story! In this particular sentence, I see a few specific problems. I'm left wondering if this is all the same girl, or if we're talking about different people. Who helped the members of AEGIS? Who defeated the Gym Leaders? I should be able to read through this section very quickly and learn a lot about the girl. Don't underestimate the power of a semi-colon! To English readers, a semi-colon may as well be a period. It issues a pause in between sections, and the reader takes time there to stop, think and realize what has just happened. Use semi-colons wisely though! OK, on to the second part. There are a few unnecessary details in here, and a bit more confusion. Dawn rested whose head on whose shoulder? Who threw whose arms around who? Is it important to know that the fabric is inexpensive? You have a very powerful moment here. Someone is crippled (your snippet doesn't make it clear who, but that's not important) and Dawn is incredibly shaken by it. Here, you want to grab your readers up and make them feel what Dawn feels. When you are in the throes of grief, do you stop to consider the quality of things around you? Most likely, you'll consider it's feel, it's texture, it's scent. Describe things as the person experiencing them would think of them. Try to avoid unnecessary words. They often clutter a perfectly awesome sentence. "Had defeated", is a perfect example. You can get the exact same thought across by just saying "defeated". "Suddenly, something hit her." Something doesn't hit you gradually. It's repetetive to include "suddenly". Returning to sentence length, this one is also a bit choppy I can't make much out of this one. I lose it at "even as a Piplup". The length and voice of your sentence will set the tone for the scene. You did an excellent job in these spots. I can feel the room. How quiet it is as Dawn takes in what she's just been told. How still the whole world becomes to her. She's frantic. The reader is really engaged by what is happening here. They can feel Dawn's despair and confusion. It drags out since it's all one, continuous thought, but that's alright. We see how jagged her thoughts are when she learns the news.