Velvet D Coolette

What do you get if you sit on a judge's lap? An honourable discharge.

Yep. See?

I can only really second RituDrak - some women really let the side down by being like that. I'm sorry you've found yourself with one. I think it's part of the human condition anyway to be selfish and decide on one rule for me, another for you. But women, who generally have a gift for empathy, misuse it in the most appalling way to get into your head and hurt you. Who'd have thought that empathy could have a dark side? My mum does similar things and, frankly, she can shove her relationship with me. Too bad I work for her... But anyway, look after yourself, whatever that entails, because she's showing a blatant lack of concern for your feelings.

Aye, thank you guys. I was starting to think I was being thick or something.

Yeah, well you said, 'come'! I think you make a fair point, though. Ah well

Aye, I see a smigeon of truth in that one. Thanks all. What I find a bit of a piss-taker, though, is that what Monty Python would have called, 'The Naughty Bits' of my fics are only there to add another dimension, more spice. They're not the central point of my fics. As I write about a guerilla group I write about missions, and take time and care to make them well-paced, action-full and engrossing. I hope at least. And none of that got a bloody mention. Is the word 'penis' that bloody shocking?

Hi all, I've been looking around aff.net and a few other places lately reading other authors' stories and found some good, some bad and some decidedly ugly. What I'm worried about is that there does seem to be a fair number of authors who resort to cliche's, and I wondered if perhaps I'm doing the same. I can't quite tell as it's my stuff, you see. So if one or two of you could take a read of the following stories and give me some feedback to this effect I'd be much obliged. Also, I want to know if you consider my writing one-dimensional. And more to the point, how to stop it being so. I've taken a look at it but can't quite see the way forward. The first one is called Bunnie's Angst and is a short story of Bunnie Rabbot (a half-robot rabbit) who decides to lose her virginity to a long-time friend, but it doesn't quite work out. It's typical of how I write sex scenes. The second one is The Mission, which works well enough as a standalone despite it being the final chapter of a longer story, so I've included it here. This one is the story of a mission by Sonic the Hedgehog and his gang and includes a lot of tension (I hope!) So please, if you can offer me any pointers as to how I can make the writing any more multi-dimentional then I'd be very grateful. Thank you, Satine

Title: Soul Control Author: Satine Rating: NC - 17 Summary: This story is set as much as possible in the time of the 90's cartoon SatAM, the only difference being that I've added in my own OC, Velvet D'Coolette - Antoine's sister. Velvet is offered a room in Rotor's house but it soon becomes clear that she has a secret or two which Rotor inadvertently discovers, and which he can't share with anybody, even his oldest friend Sonic. Before long Sonic realises something is wrong and begins to suspect Velvet of being up to no good. This situation between the three of them escalates to a final conclusion in the final chapter. As this situation gets worse, another problem arises involving Antoine, which makes everything worse. Inamongst all of this, the freedom fighters have a problem with Robotnik - he's up to another one of his evil schemes and they are struggling to work out what he's done this time. Feedback: Greatly wished-for. I spent 3 months writing this, layering plots, keeping the characters true to, well, character, taking care not to let my OC get too big a part, and making a review of the Torture Garden nightclub in chapter 7. Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, especially SatAM. URL: Secrets and Revelations I have posted from the second chapter because the first one is fairly long (although read it if you wish) and the posted chapter is where this current story really begins. There are 7 chapters in all if you ignore the one before the posted link. Thank you very much for your kind attention, Satine aka Velvet D'Coolette

NNggrrhh! I've spent the last few days trawling the net looking for Sonic-related forums to promote my fanfics and came across one in particular. I posted, saying, 'please read these' or something longer and better-crafted to that effect, and got a reply from somebody saying they liked the couple of stories they'd read. I said thanks, all reviews are appreciated. Fast forward to today, and I log on to look for any further replies and what do I get? Another forum member saying, 'the previous poster was being sarcastic, but some of your stuff isn't too bad'. Maybe that shouldn't wind me up but it got on my nerves! Right, anyway, that's it. End of. I'm going to stop ranting now. Thankyouforlistening.

George Bush kisses my arse to keep me sweet.

Feel free to coin that word! I'm sure you've heard of 'dogging', well now there's such a thing as 'furring', which is where you dress as a furry animal and go off into the woods with your partner for a bit of naughty stuff. I go to fetish clubs sometimes and last time-but-one I went there was a couple there dressed as squirrels or something. Danced like maniacs, too. I think Sonic the hedgehog is gorgeous, but one of the characters in a bit-part really gets me: Rotor the Walrus. Mmmm

Absolutely, couldn't agree more. Archie have done the same (who make the American Sonic the Hedgehog comics). And yet the Sonic sections of these fanfiction sites are among the biggest areas! It seems that being a bastard of the calibre you're talking about doesn't stop people (including me) writing about their characters for a single moment!

Oh, I'm well up for that! I know someone who I was friends with for 7 years, then the relationship disintegrated (unfortunately the friendship was one-sided, i.e., me doing all the bloody work) He always did write awful fanfiction, which I always felt obliged to be polite about. Now I can post his awful, I'm-a-rapper-so-I'm-well-'ard script-format childishness! YES!!

Nah - it's one of many plots I'm layering into a longer-term story, so I'll go ahead with it then! Thank you all for your advice!

I think there's an aspect of 'do unto others etc.' as somebody else on this thread said. Trouble is, I'm bursting with ideas to write, plus I help out on a teens support messageboard, plus I'm building two websites, plus I'm a fanfiction moderator of a site, plus I'm a full-time worker, so I don't actually get the time to read (and therefore review) many fics at all. But I think it's a very important part of getting noticed and getting more publicity for your work. It's always on my to-do list, trouble is, something else is always higher. I'm vaguely annoyed at myself about that. But the intention is always there. I mean, I'm dying for reviews too because I think I've genuinely got several good ideas going. But then, everybody wants to shine, don't they? They don't want to cast the light so much as be in it. But, as somebody else still said, getting a review that really says something (I've got one that says, "I loved it! It made me remember the old school stuff and left me really warm and fuzzy") about your work it's tremendously rewarding. Especially when they say exactly what you've been trying to convey. Almost nobody does old school SatAM any more... It's all post Doomsday. NNgghh... I'm going to have to leave some reviews, aren't I? EDIT: Yesterday, this post ringing in my ears, I decided to actually read and review a couple of the most recent posts in Games > RPG's > Sonic and now I can say that, a) I feel better about myself I now have my fingers crossed in a more optimistic way for reviews c) have discovered a writer who I'll genuinely look out for again So this update is a call to arms for everyone to do at least one review, even if you only speed-read it!

Thinking up a title is pretty much the last thing I do. Don't know about anyone else? I'm working on one at the moment and, half done, it's Hand of God. I don't like it at all. It needs a new one, but I'll only know what it should be when the story's complete. And even then I'm not sure. I've still no idea. I've got one called Soul Control. I spent 3 months on that fic and for half that time it was called Mind Control. But as that's a Derren Brown series I wanted to change it... so made it Soul Control. I can't change it now, I've posted it too many places. But nothing else seems to fit.

With all the finesse of a wino at dawn, if I keep him in character. I'm certainly not going the American Pie route - this isn't about comedy, but kinky eroticism.

I'm thinking about the longer-term plots for some of my characters. I have one in particular, who is a male virgin approx. 16 years, and who is generally seen as a waste of space by his peers. I'm wondering whether, if I planned the plot for him so that he has several attempts at losing his virginity which all go wrong, would this be titillating to readers?

Thank you for all your replies, much appreciated. She's actually an ocelot, but she's not actually that much smaller than him in terms of body size, he's just a chunky chap in terms of relative human sizes and she petite. They did have a night together, but both their inexperience made it a clumsy and awkward night. That's fine - I want to write about 'real' sex, so Rotor's taking the rough with the smooth. Thanks again all of you for your candidness! P.S. Hang on, I've got a new tag... 'I am the walrus, you are the eggman'? Sheesh.

Aye, you're probably right! Bearing in mind the pair of them aren't very experienced: he hasn't got much of a handle on foreplay yet and doesn't have any lube because they're at his house and he doesn't generally expect to bring a woman home. But I reckon I can write a night of sex around that. Fanx!

Hi all, I am writing a story at the moment which is based on a society of talking animals. My main character is a walrus, a tall, big-bodied character. I decided to make him big all over, if you catch my drift. He's just started going to an underground club and having one night stands. Now, the first woman he was with there was able to accommodate him, but he's just taken a cat home, who is petite, quite young and inexperienced and is having problems accommodating a man of Rotor's size. So my question is: how do the 'big' men among you deal with such a situation when it arises? And small women - the same question. If you wish to maintain your confidentiallity then please feel free to PM me instead.

I'm happy with my size as a B, but I wouldn't want them any bigger. Although I am rather pleased every time my period is approaching and water retention gives me (sore, but) massive tits. Now I know what the 'man admiring his weiner in the mirror' thing is all about. It hurts if I run or pogo and I'm not wearing a bra (my boyfriend and I like our techno. Don't ask), so they're every bit as big as I want them to be, really.

Has to be Rotor the walrus from Sonic the Hedgehog SatAM. Fancying a cartoon walrus doesn't make me weird, does it? Ahh, there you go: and something for the tentacles fans as well. Whoever you are... (Who said fetish didn't occur in cartoons? )

Oh! This'll be incredibly helpful - not read it properly yet but certainly will do! I've got a lesbian character and have half-got into her head, but need a little more, so thank you, thank you, thank you! EDIT: Thank you for including this one! It's - if anything - the other way around for me. My other half and I have talked about having a threesome with another woman and I'm experimenting with the idea of being orientated toward women (bi or gay regardless) in my fics. I've still got no idea whether our idea will ever come to fruition, though. It doesn't have to either - we're happy, you know? And the broad spectrum of humankind is interesting enough that I'm enjoying exploring the concept of being gay in all its expressions. It doesn't have to mean I want to actually do it. Note to moderator: I know I'm multiple-posting, but I'm reading through this thread thoroughly and will amalgamate them in just a mo. Sorry for the inconvenience! This one's spot on, too - I used to know this gay guy called Justin, and he used to love my tits! Absolutely. While I don't doubt there is the occasional woman out there who's been treated so badly she's driven into the arms of another woman, it's not the norm. And any resentment towards men exhibited by lesbians may be more to do with the incessant 'will you have sex with my girlfriend/can I watch you and your girlfriend?' type questions. Wouldn't you get fed up, too?

You make an outrageous claim, e.g. "I punched Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in the face!" The next person outdoes that claim and starts a new one of their own: "Oh, yeah? Well I AM Britney Spears and Paris Hilton! I ate a whole sheep for breakfast!" And so on. GO! "I can bake a cake in 30 seconds!"