MorbidFantasy
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yup. What counts is that she is adult when she posts it here, not when she wrote it.
She? Oh oh... I might have a gender swap kindred spirit here, *salivating male-ahegao-face*
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Since you asked for scenes from The 5th's Long Week that we'd like to see in your re-imagining, one chapter does stick out in my memory. Remember when Sakura eventually finds out about the arrangement and gets angry at Tsunade? Tsunade then gets tied to a tree and Sakura spends the night yanking out her pubic hairs one by one, leaving her ex-mentor a sweat-drenched, exhausted mess by sunrise. There was also something to do with chakra in that segment, but I can't remember the details. Anyway, kind of a unique scene, was hoping you were planning to incorporate a version of it in your story.
Good luck with this one either way. Looks like you're off to a great start.
Yeah I remember that scene.
The antagonist uses chakra to reinforce Tsunade's hair roots, so that each root is ten times harder to pull out, causing 10 times the pain (I might be fudging the multiplier here). Sakura, for whatever reason, is furious to discover her teacher is a slut, so uses the public hair pulling as both torture as well as strength training (honesty though, even 10 times the resistance doesn't make hair pulling that hard....maybe it was 100times?)
While I can promise you other female characters will be having their own sexcapades, keep in mind that in my rendition of this story, everything still has to go full circle to fit back into Naruto canon. In that case, it would be highly improbable that Sakura would find out (or if she did, remember) Tsunade's sexy times in this narrative.
The same goes for other female characters. I have a few explanations for how some of them might make it into the post time skip acting like nothing is wrong, but others I haven't quite sorted out yet, so until I do, I'm going to be very slow to bring more female leads in. In the end, it's just so much easier to work with original characters because they're blank slates.
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At some point, Chapter 4, which has no story and was written as a mini research project by me to find out real world equivalents to the ryo currenc in Narutoverse, is probably going to be moved either here or just deleted.
So this is a strictly informational post, which is going to be very relevant within two chapters.
In my version of Narutoverse in which this story takes place, here is how much a ryo is worth.
1ryo= 1.6 cents
1USD= 62.5 ryo.
10,000 ryo= $160 USD
1 million ryo= $16,000 USD
100 million ryo= $1,600,000 USD
Tsunade's Hokage salary = $200,000 USD or 12.5 million ryo
so on and so forth.
Chapter 4, which may or may not become a forum post later, explains how I came to this conclusion.
Economics plays a very concrete role in The Legendary Sucker Chronicles, so the purchasing power of everything absolutely matters. When the price of something is mentioned, there is a reason for it.
In other news, just because I have chapters 6-10 written does not mean the plot of the entire fic itself is set. 6-10 is a comprehensive arc that starts Tsunade into the world of Kunio, setting up a lot of necessary back bone for future arcs or subplots.
It is highly advised to read everything that is written, because I guarantee the sex is way better if given context, and chances are those of you who skipped even the smallest sections may end up needlessly confused. I'll admit I'm sometimes guilty of jumping forward to the sex scenes of other author's works. 99% of the time though I go back and reread the non-sexy bits, and usually, end up kicking myself for not having read it the way the author had designed it.
Onto spoilers for those who take the time to read this post, don't read past this point if you don't like things being spoiled.
SPOILER ALERT:
Chapters 6-10
In chapter 6, Kunio reveals that he and his older sister, both Senju, are orphans that Konoha, for whatever reason, didn't take good care of. His sister is the same age of Tsunade, and gave up her ninja training in order to take care of Kunio. When he was 7 and she as 14, the two of them were playing hide and seek when, like Tsunade does in chapter 5, Kunio's nii-san runs into an alley gang, who rapes her after knocking Kunio out, and then sells her to a sex trafficker.
On a side note, that would make Kunio around 43 years old. I haven't physically described him yet, but I will soon enough. There will be more descriptions of the sharin/byaku duo Inomaru and Hikari, as well.
This undercurrent of Konoha's shady side is going to be a constant thread in my fic, and will inform every decision made by Kunio, who is every bit a tragic figure, however evil his actions may be. He's like Danzo, in that they acknowledge Konoha's duality in both light and darkness. So, while he will never do anything to bring harm to Konoha itself, he is definitely going to be an antagonist for the entirety of this story.
Ok ok that above section was fairly non spoiler-ee, acting as a buffer for those who didn't want it. Here are the real spoilers, so be warned, for realzies this time:
After raping her, the gang will take Tsunade back to their hideout and continue to force her to have sex with them.
Tsunade is completely depowered at this point, so can't fight back. The entire time, Kunio and his subordinates Hikari/Inomaru are monitoring her.
After raping her, the gang decides that it would be too risky to pimp this Tsuna look alike out themselves due to possibly angering the Hokage if word got out. However, they then realize that if they sold her to a sex trafficker from another land, not only will they minimize their own risk, but stand to win far more because let's face it, it would be a pretty good way for enemies of Konoha to feel good about themselves, to see a Hokage look a like whoring herself out.
How far Tsunade goes into this sex trafficking, I'll hold the spoilers for a little later.
Now, more buffer before the official end spoilers signal.
Inomaru is 16, and is very skilled with Henge, able to maintain it even when he's sleeping. He's so good with it that he can actually layer the henge on top of his sharingan and byakugan techniques, so even when he's using either of them, it doesn't show through his henge form. He killed or incapacitated Matsui, and is posing as him to gain access to the Matsui household's finances. He's generally jovial and humorous, even when he's being evil.
Hikari is 19, and thus far, I haven't revealed in story his skills as a ninja, but he is more serious than Inomaru, being strictly businesslike. Whereas Inomaru is good with soft techniques like henge and other non-combative utility jutsus, Hikari is the most deadly of the two in every way.
Both of them share a pool of jutsus including the following:
Telepathy between themselves as well as with their sensei Kunio. They can also speak to others using this telepathy.
A form of mind-reading and mind-coercion.
Ability to control their sensei's mokuton: they can only control what Kunio has made for them, not create new mokuton on their own.
Hikari can form visual barriers that even other byakugans can't see through. Inomaru can form sound barriers or seals of a similar function. I haven't decided whether both of them can do both types of barriers, but most likely they can, since this isn't really a kekkei genkai.
In case it wasn't clear already, Inomaru and Hikari have Uchiha and Hyuuga genes. The former awoken the Sharingan, the latter, the Byakugan. They exchanged left eyes with each other in order to gain the benefits of both eyes. So, for future references, the right eye is their native one, the left eye is the transplant.
Yes, this would probably mean that, like Obito, neither of them will be able to use Susanoo. It's not currently set whether they have evolved the Mangakyo Sharingan yet, or if they did, what sort of unique powers it has.
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Just finished a 50,000 word writing spree!
Already, this story has taken turns down several paths that I hadn't foreseen. Many ideas and plot directions just happened on their own literally with less than 500 word's notice. I'd be taking Tsunade towards one plot point that I had planned out 3000 words prior, but suddenly realize there's an alternative that is way better.
Inspiration is awesome when it's in overdrive. Bottom line is, caffeine is a wonderful thing.
Although I've just finished the rough draft for chapter 10, I'm holding off on publishing everything at once because of this.
The lot redirection, new story elements from chapter to chapter, has resulted in a few inconsistencies on top of the silly grammar mistakes that my caffeine fueled type fest has left in. I need to do a bit of house cleaning before chapters 6-10 can be individually posted.
The pace has slowed down quite a bit though, which makes this a good time to ask for reader feedback.
Your reviews absolutely have an effect on the direction of the plot. I'm not begging for reviews here to boost the meaningless review count. I'm asking for honest critiques as to whether the direction I'm taking this story in is a good one. When you review, there's no need to stroke my ego. What did you like, what didn't you like, what would you like to see happen, are there grammar or mistakes that I missed.
Whether it's reviews in the story link or a post in this thread, I'll be responding to all feedback, and using that feedback to better write The Legendary Sucker Chronicles.
Enjoy!
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Title: The Legendary Sucker Chronicles
Tsunade's massive gambling debt comes back to haunt her.
Forced into signing a contract to work off her debt, the Legendary Sucker begins the slow and erotically charged path to paying back her creditors.
Contains heavy non-consensual content with lots of BDSM and other humiliation themes, so readers be warned.
http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105859&chapter=1
There's also a review reply and discussion thread where I'll interact with people who're interested in offering ideas as to where the story might go, so come hang out and let's all have a spankin good time!
http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/60817-the-legendary-sucker-chronicles/
I keep advertising this piece as being inspired by wierdmeijin's "A Fifth's Long Week" because that's the truth. His work was a 32 chapter behemoth of a tasty smut fest that lots of people felt the absence of when it was sadly taken offline (which I recently learned was because s/he was underage at the time of posting).
My fic has absolutely no plagiaristic qualities when compared to the original, however, and is a 100% unique spin on how I would approach a similar theme of blackmailing or entrapping Tsunade into paying her debts. I may emulate parts of wierdmeijin's work that I loved and missed, but for the most part, the plot is 100% my own.
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As to the story disappearing in to the ether, the issue was that the author was underage at the time of posting the story.
Wait...so... can s/he repost it now even though it was written while s/he was underage?
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http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105859
Tsunade's gambling debts come back to haunt her.
As a result, she is tricked into signing a contract that basically forces her to work off her debt as an unwilling prostitute for the wealthy and powerful.
Inspired by wierdmeijin's "The Fifth's Long Week", which sadly up and disappeared into the ether a few years back, along with several other excellent pieces that he simply never finished.
With this piece, I aim to write it, and finish it, in a way that can reasonably fit it into the Narutoverse canon. critical feedback is and always will be welcome. Haters and trolls... well, you're not welcome at all but it's not like I can do much to keep you out, can I. I can only appeal to your greater humanity for mercy... maybe.
Edit: Shit, forgot to put in the title that this is a review response thread. Admins? A little help?
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http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105859
There, the fic has been started.
Enjoy, review, and offer suggestions and/or requests for scenes you would like me to go for.
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Irl stuff, personal stuff, random distractions.
I fell off the boat. I've gotten back on.
I am 80% certain "Hanson's Dig Pt 3" will redeem the crazy shenanigans of part 2. If not, well, keep sending the hate my way and I'll adjust accordingly.
Currently, I'm actually working on "Mark and Lara", and since we're deviating from strict chronological telling, only time can tell what gets posted first.
To the ones suggesting I've lost focus or direction, I'd like to think I'm going to prove you wrong, although I reserve my hubris for after I receive feedback for the upcoming updates. Until then, I remain optimistically humble.
I do feel that the recent introduction of the philosopher's stone was a little bit forced, and probably didn't feel like I had planned it very far in advanced. I'll try to fill in the blanks in future updates. I definitely have to work the full explanation that I put here in the forum into the actual story itself since readers shouldn't have to require external sources to explain in-story plot devices.
For any who can't wait for the finished chapters and want a skeletal plot spoiler to critique/beta/hate , shoot me an email at morbidfantasy12@gmail.com
Cheers
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Not sure if serious..?
Came for the plot, stayed for the sex.
Still would've stayed for the plot regardless.
Been away on a bit of irl related hiatus and returned to an inbox full of hate lol, so I better get to salvaging my reputations here.
Meanwhile, really enjoyed your updates. Definitely appreciate the additional digression in the route A and route B plots.
Would actually suggest that at some point things take a bad turn for Lara (only has to be temporary, although the audience doesn't need to know that). Increased stakes/angst/suspense is always welcome.
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It is one thing to have her obliged due to blackmail, and made immobile, but chapter 38?
I don't have the words to express my revulsion.
Lol all of your hate has been anticipated. I humbly accept them, and ask that you give me the chance to finish revealing the full narrative before you pass final judgement.
Do notice that the chapter of was almost exclusively written from Hanson's pov. Just know that some of the narrative from this point forward will be deliberately unreliable. It's part of the plan I swear
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Great smut. One problem.
Your stating she rembers the previous chamberafter they douse the lights.
You seem to forget she recalls the previous day in the first chamber, and how she was controlled. Her behavior is irrational, and out of character in chapter 38. As a reasoning woman who vividly recalled the previous days sex fueled escape, she wouldn't hesitate to comply, get him off, assuming he was once more being controled against his will. Her fighting at all? Not likely.
Since I'm not quite done with the next chapters I'll save the speculation.
Lara wanted to fight back the first day too, but the stone was immobilizing her and robbing her of movement.
The second day, Lara has gained a little resistance, and Hanson has lost strength.
The stone and its fragments are aware of this, and they're very aware of the limitations of their power at this point in the story.
I'm working on a chapter that basically sums up the stone's origins, and will explain things in more detail, while also giving major spoilers into the main story.
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Hanson's still alive when she's with Vasili. He survives.
No assholes ever die in this thing.
Not true. McGee died lol, and I've already written the death scenes for several characters, some of which may or may not be coming up very soon (kinda hard to not spoil it by giving more detail)
So yeah, she isn't killing him. He's just being violently abusive (a requirement not needed in chapter 37) because...
Help me out here Morbid.
Just more pointless, over the top bullshit. Right?
Nothing new.
My previous point in my comment made.
No, the abuse is 80% because of the stone, 20% because of Hanson's inner id. I recently saw Kingsman and took fancy with the scene in the church where a special signal sent through compromised cell phones drove everyone in the church mad, resulting in an all out death brawl. Everyone has the primal potential for violence ingrained into them. All it takes is the removal of all inhibition and the amplification of the fear/fight response.
Well, come on, publish. Just add duct tape, a tasser, and lube to chapter 38, and press enter.
The suspence is killing me
Man, haven't used duct tape in like... forever. That shit is too low tech for fmc these days.
Sad thing is I'm not far off.
Hmmm, true, you're not far off in anticipating that my upcoming chapters will probably have more non con sex, bondage, and mild torture (anything short of permanent disfigurement is mild), and domination/submission. Apparently, that's my *thing*, as you so astutely deduced.
I've already locked in the general plot for the next couple of chapters, but I'll take your rape-weariness into consideration.
On the other hand, if you're tired of my writing period and can imagine better scenarios and scenes than me, you are of course welcome to post your own Tomb Raider fic. Plenty of others have (most of them with just as good if not better writing chops as me).
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I'm going into this with the following directives in mind:
1. Different title
2. Using none of the non-canon original characters created by wierdmeijin for his "Fifth's Long Week" fic
3. Reusing none of his chapter titles, paragraphs, sentences, phrasing, dialogue, etc
4. All original characters in my fic would be created by myself and myself alone.
5. I'm lifting only the most barebone of the original fic's plot, and am not intending to simply rewrite individual scenes.
6. The only plot device I am taking from the original fic is the blackmail setup, which I intend to write with a completely fresh scene.
Ok, instead of posting my fix under the whole "remake" banner, I'll give thanks to wierdmeijin by leaving a line in the notes listing him as my inspiration for the fix rather than source material.
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*sigh* did you read my post about the stone? Also maybe pick up on the maybe too subtle hints that I've dropped throughout the last 3 chapters?WTF? You just lost me dude. That last chapter made no sense. Hanson just went all openly violent offender on her without knowing if she'd remeber? Makes no sense. Also, why not ma...
Forget it.
I'm deliberately writing some of these chapters without my normal level of observer omniscience. What you're seeing is a biased narrative through the lens of someone's eyes. It's called having an unreliable narrator, and the entire point is for the reader to try to discover the real narrative.
That being said, your response basically confirms that my choice is working, although maybe too well.
The next chapter will feature both Lara and Hanson's perspectives as well as some 3rd person omniscient format, which hopefully will address your grievances with the updates.
I assume you're also responsible for the latest review, to which I can only give you a sad face and hope I can convince you that I've made the right choices further down the line.
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I did think of putting in some sort of separation to make clear it was a flashback. Do you think it needs it?
I'd err on the side of extra clarity. I've received email reviews from readers in the past where because they skimmed the plot in order to get to the sex they ended up needlessly confused. You have to assume some of your readers may be distracted with all the blood lost to their genitals, haha.
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Actually, on rereading the chapter , I feel the build-up is fine as it is. The main issue I had a was the "then Lara ran into the bandits" clause. Because of its placement right after your paragraph with past tense reminiscence, I initially was confused if Lara ran into the bandits before she met the wolves or just now in the timeline of this chapter.
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Just clarifying, the middle section and interactions between Lara and the men were very fleshed out. It was the lead up or where she got thrown into the hut that felt like it could've benefited from some visceral detail, such as the general delapitation and weathering or dirtiness of the surroundings. You had good description of the griminess of the men and the environment could use that too
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Lol true dat about the parceling out. I suffer from long bouts of zero productivity interspersed with short stretches of furious smut writing where I can pump out four or five chapter drafts in one day.
In most of my plot heavy chapters what I try to do is drop hints at the potential sexiness that can develop from the plot. Chap36 for instance brings memory loss and mental suggestion in without much sex but I did try to stear the narrative so that audiences can immediately imagine the potential uses for smut.
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By the way. Please excuse the way I put my question regarding Everest. I came off as a real asshole. Please accept my sincere appology. I was not intending to be so crass.
Sorry.
Oh I didn't take it as offensive. It's a legit concern.
It's not really that big of a problem though as originally I had already planned an ending where memory erasure wasn't a part of the solution. So regardless of Everest being immune to the stone or not, he'll get what's coming to him.
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Thoughts on Chapter 38:
Yo, HunterOpera, I'm taking moar leaphs from your Jam, smut-bro!
Readers of Hunter's work both here on AFF as well as over at Hentaifoundry will recognize elements from his "The Bergman Affair" metroid fic as well as his "Masque Hawk" fic, which is one featuring the female version of Hawkeye, Kate Bishop. Excellent work on both of those UNFINISHED PIECES HUNTER YOU LAZY S.O.B GIT BACK HERE.
Ok now onto plans for FMC.
OH WAIT first a plug for the remake of wierdmeijin's "Fifth's Long Week" that I've been contemplating since back in 2013. Here's the thread link to that particular discussion: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/60190-wierdmeijins-the-fifths-long-week-searchremake/
Now, here's more on what is happening with the stone:
Since I've already spoiled most of it, basically the stone is picking up more parts of itself from each of the chambers by amplifying Hanson's lust, then having Lara unwillingly harvest that lust. The time dilation and lack of physical evidence afterwards might seem like an ez way out for both of them, but actually hints at something even more sinister happening. In fact, eventually, I will reveal actual connections with the stone to the TR canon that will further integrate it with the idea of supernatural forces as depicted in Legend, Underworld, and the Reboot.
And here's a statement to disappoint the diligent poster who suggested (quite excellently) that the stone may in fact be falling in love with Lara:
It isn't.
That's the short version. The longer winded version is that I've finally figured out the stone's end goal, and it's a balance between the previous "Everest in charge" and "stone is mastermind" options. The stone's end goal does not necessarily limit how Lara can handle things, and in fact does not even fully rely on her to collect all of itself. The stone has a grand plan, and Lara is only the currently shown tool of that plan.
The end of FMC has also been moved up due to developments with the stone. In fact the arc in peru will most likely be the longest arc out of any of the bosses. For the rest of the bosses I'm limiting myself to a maximum of three chapters, while some may even be shorter or even cut and assimilated.
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I.loved.wierdmeijin. loved his/her fics to death. Esp the fic that is the subject of this thread.
For those of you unfamiliar with the fix, it's premise is tsunade loses too much money in gambling and has to pay it off by becoming a sex slave for a week.
The ideas were sexy. The use of jutsus and narutoverse mechanics were hot, and ever one of the thirty some chapters were glorious nuggets of wierdmeijin's brilliantly twisted mind.
That is, until the fic up and vanished into the ether.
For those of you unfamiliar with my work, my mainstay fic on aff is my tomb raider fat man chronicles story which also happens to be a remake of another author's fic. Check it out if you dare (it's 37 chaps and on going.)
Basically. I want to reenvision "The fifths long week" and am seeing if there's genuine interest. Also. I'm wondering if by chance anyone managed to archive the fic before wierdmeijin deleted it.
If you like me are a fan of the fix and would wish to see specific scenes from it appear in my fix, do respond with ideas and suggestions.Update: Tried to email wierdmeijin at his listed email address but it looks like that email no longer works. It would seem that s/he is truly gone
Already started drafting scenes and ideas for "The Fifth's Long Week". Will try not to let it putter out into yet another one of my stalled projects.
Cheerios, m8s
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Out of curiousity, is there an endgame for the preggers subplot?
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Dude Hunter smut-bro where the new word secks?
Wierdmeijin's "The Fifth's Long Week" search/remake
in General
Posted
That's.... so true.
Probably because I only deal in non-con here, but most people I interact with I automatically assume are guys with the same nc-word-fetish as me, but yeah, this isn't the first time I've been surprised to see that someone I've been corresponding with turned out to be a girl who happens to like nc stuff.
Although... AFF is like 70% M/M stuff and 30% everything else, so it's not hard to see the female influence, lulzorsaurus.