InBrightestDay

And now the first for Part Seven from @JayDee.
I actually wanted to have the same “is that Spanish?” running gag that I have with Luzurial’s name, because while “Luzurial” actually contains a Spanish word, “Eparlegna” sounds like a Spanish word that doesn’t exist.
For those who don’t recall, or haven’t read the first story, there was this bit after Luzurial landed in the blood-spattered streets of LA that she took to the air again and the blood and filth just kind of fell off of her.  I wasn’t sure whether this was an automatic thing or if she had to concentrate on it, but that was her at 100%, which she is not at now, so whether or not it was automatic, now she has to concentrate.  I thought her willing the water to just fall off of her was a nice way to reference that, and also to prompt a discussion of how angelic powers work.
Thank you.  I knew the timeline was going to end up compressed because Eparlegna doesn’t seem like the kind of villain likely to delay his attempt at taking over the world, but I wanted as much time as possible for Kevin and Luzurial to interact back at the motel, so I had to create some sort of delay.  I figured that the same way we have designated shelters for hurricanes and other disasters, there might be designated shelters for the eventuality of another Rupture scenario, and damaging their protective magic could explain the delay before the really crazy stuff happens.
Sometimes I just have visual images pop into my head and I don’t entirely know where they come from.  In this case, the whole scene just started with this image of Luzurial sitting alone by the pool watching the stars, and the scene grew from that.  It is a powerful idea, that this is as much of creation as you can see from Earth.
Thank you!  In the first draft, that was Luzurial being painted by refracted light, but then I realized I was short on Luzurial PoVs for this chapter, and given what happens in the chapter I really needed more from her perspective.  I did like the description, though, so I just had her see Kevin that way instead of him seeing her that way.
I realized I hadn’t had anything on Cassie and why she was part of the “cult,” which is why I added this scene.  I thought about the circumstances under which one might do something really terrible, and retaliating against a bully seemed like a pretty good option.  I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen, but then when I read about Flauros, and his ability to kill the summoner’s enemies with fire, I had a pretty horrific idea of what I could do.
I mean he was also just taking the opportunity to terrorize and slaughter, but I wanted him to be doing a little more than that.  He plans in the short term compared to Lucifer, but “short term” does not mean “only thinks five minutes ahead.”
I kept wanting to mention this earlier in the story, but I didn’t really get around to it until now, but the idea is that after the confrontation with Chloe in Part Two, word slowly made its way to large religious organizations, and priests, rabbis and imams were all ready to make a pilgrimage to talk to a real angel.  Then a demon attacked, and things changed a bit.
I actually seized on something from near the end of Whore of Heaven and intend to make use of it.
Yeah, I miss that line too.  I honestly miss that entire moment when she broke down sobbing and then felt better afterward.  Aside from just being the Hurt/Comfortiest thing ever, it also went well with the whole idea of her purging toxic memories, and that letting them out resulted in her sobbing fit, but that after it was over she felt a lot better.
However, I really wanted to focus more on her sense of shame, and I did end up with a few new lines I really thought were pretty emotional on that count, specifically the “I said” quoting bit and the “Not if I were human!”
That’s one of the things I like about fanfiction: sometimes you get to answer questions the original author never intended you to answer, and you can turn the answer into a story element!
I wanted to, but the Author’s Note was at something like 575 words, and I thought there was a hard 600 word limit.
And now, of course, the love scene I’ve been building up to since Part One…
So this is something that occurred to me at the last minute, but I really wanted in there.  While it does highlight the difference between Luzurial’s first sexual experience and her second one, that was just a nice little bonus effect.  The reason I wrote it was actually because I wanted to acknowledge the nerves Kevin would have over making love to an angel.
Even in a world where angels (of some types, anyway) look like people with wings, that’s not what they are.  They’re not just inhuman, they’re more than human, immortal, powerful, wise and kind, living embodiments of divine Good (this is probably part of why I get so depressed whenever something terrible happens to one).  Because of that, I couldn’t help but feel that there would be a deep reluctance to touch one sexually, as if to express physical affection for them would be to sully them.  I kind of expressed this in the car scene at the end of Part Six, where it’s revealed that Kevin sometimes feels bad about his romantic feelings for Luzurial because he is, well, “only human.”
One way I could see to get past this would be to explicitly ask permission for a more intimate form of contact.  That was the origin of the “May I?” concept.  I was being very deliberate in my word choice when I said he wanted Luzurial’s blessing to cross each threshold.
And, honestly, I just thought it was kind of romantic too.
That’s another one of those fanfic moments.  I realized that at no point in Whore of Heaven does Eparlegna, Shondra or Molly force a kiss on Luzurial, and I thought I could use this, that this might be something she especially enjoys; a gesture of pure affection without any negative connotation.
I knew she was going to need to give him the strength boost somehow, and I think originally it was just going to be through a touch (she was going to put her hand on his chest or something like that), but I wanted something that would be both sexy and soothing, and a kiss seemed like it fit the bill, especially since we’d just established how much they both enjoy kissing.
I actually briefly entertained thoughts of having them get caught inside of it and have to spend Part Eight evading or fighting sin creatures until Luzurial and company got there, but I realized I liked the idea of them meeting outside the barrier and going in together, so I went with that instead.

Part Seven of WitS is up, so it’s time to respond to some more reviews!
First, one from the inimitable @pippychick.
It’s kind of a chain reaction, really.  Kevin and Abdul are going in to help Calista, and Luzurial can’t very well let the mortals handle this alone, and she can’t just tell them to wait outside because Kevin is not letting her go in there by herself.  So they end up stuck together.
As for people you care about being used against you, wait for it…
Yeah, Stern was dispatched pretty quickly to get to the car thing, which was the image I had in my head for the scene.  Sinfulwolf also brought up that the action scene there could stand to be longer, and maybe at some point I’ll extend it somewhat.
Thank you!  I was going for kind of an eerie feel with the burning city and the dragon flying just out of sight behind the buildings.  I don’t know why, but the lack of sound always seemed kind of creepy to me as well.
Good luck with rationing!  I’m really happy that you’re enjoying the story, though.
And thank you for reviewing!

Since I decided Luzurial was Shannon’s old boss, way back while writing a chunk of text in reply to your initial setting up a crackfic threesome dialogue (“I’m not sure about this woman” you had I think   ), it’s been pretty much guaranteed that Shannon cared about what happened to her! Whether I write it or no… but the ideas the are there. Sad Shannon Oneshot? :p
You would honestly probably do a better job of writing it than me. My drama is often undercut by attempts at comedy, like, I dunno
Lupa: Whoa, didn’t know Shannon got angry.
Kate: What about that you fed on that guy while she was making coffee, then he didn’t have enough blood to get it up for her, and passed out before using his fingers?
Lupa: She wasn’t angry, just disappointed.
It won’t be covered in this story anyway, this is about Jude’s fate, not Jan’s or Kate or Lupa’s or Shannon’s… It might come up in another one. Probably not titled “The Slut in the Statue” 
“My name is Shannon. My hobby is whore. More of a vocation, really.”
I think Shannon wouldn’t bear a grudge so long as Luzurial was out again. That’s another reason to have the whole time skip thing with the other universe. Shannon has spent billions of years in Hell so getting on with people who’ve done stupid shit or made terrible mistakes is basically a life skill and, ultimately, she still has a forgiving nature. She’d still be sad about what happened to Luzurial, but what happened to her was far more Eparlegna’s doing than Kizzy’s. Kizzy, on the other hand, once she finally understood she had something to feel guilty for, might have a long time of feeling terrible about it. I think there’s also potential for a scene where Kizurial apologised to Luzurial.
That line is so old they say Solomon tried a version on Bilqīs!
That was my other thought, very Narnia! But the big advantage of it being directly tied to the existence of Eparlegna’s work of art (or even Eparlegna himself bound within it) would be that they then move at the same speed afterwards, which would deal with other problems I could see from them being out of sync. I dunno, probably won’t come up in a story unless there’s some kind of crossover.
No way. The Woman in the Statue is too brilliant not to be canon and both the events in it and talking about it with you has inspired me towards thinking about relationships between the OCs so much more. I just gotta get around to re-doing chapter 3 of Slumber Party until then part 3 remains un-cannon (it was so jokey it was barely canon in the first place).
It’s your choice too, but I am honored to have it as the canon sequel to Whore of Heaven
I don’t have self-confidence for anything, never mind writing! Also, cool to see the update, I’ll get part 7 reviewed later today
Edit: And, hey, happy to support your writing! Your writing is awesome, you should totally have confidence in it.

I renamed the story to Jude’s Tale since as much as I like the alliteration his musical ability has very little to do with the story. This might turn out to be  mistake, but I am sure it’s one I can live with.

Wait, Guy N. Smith is a personal hero, and there is not one giant mutant crab in this story?  You betrayed us all, pippychick!
No, seriously though, that’s actually really cool, and I seriously need to finish reading Night of the Crabs at some point.
As for the lack of gore being a failure of yours as an author, I don’t think so.  Stories don’t need to be gory to work, and in my opinion the buildup here is far more frightening because of what we don’t see.  The elemental was terrifying when we couldn’t see it, because while part of me was just imagining a blob of water, another part of me was only half-picturing something else, a terrible, nebulous image that I didn’t want to bring into focus because of what it might look like.  In addition, the mention that before he died, George barely resembled anything human, coupled with the “gifts” we’ve seen him receive is replete with uncomfortable possibilities.
While I do think that The Price was scarier overall, I think this really worked in its own way.  Heck, you may have already learned a lesson from it: how to write from the PoV of someone whose personal philosophy you disagree with.

Well, it took an extra week due to rewrites, but Part Seven is finally up!
At close to 13,000 words, this is the longest chapter in the story so far (though be warned: Part Nine is very likely to surpass it).
Also, this may be where the story completely falls apart for you.  Sorry if that happens.

A fresh batch of reviews I’ve not responded to yet. Here goes:
First up, @Tcr for the Prompt Oneshot “Blackburn”
Glad the sex was hot. A smutty one shot certainly would have fallen apart otherwise.
This was fun for me, and aye I certainly wanted a different feel and tone to it than I did for Blood and Lace. I’m just happy the interactions between Eloise and Lauren was enjoyable, because otherwise no one would have made it to the sex later on. 
I think I tried harder for elegance this time. Cause of setting. Lol.
 
Next we have another for “Blackburn” from @JayDee
Excellent that you liked it! And Annabelle was rather enjoyable to write, with just offering peaks at who she was. And that viper line I loved, so couldn’t help but slither it in there.
Lauren was really the crux and start of the whole story. She was the first figure I imagined, pretty much right after I walked out of the movie “The Favourite”. The story was originally going to be more focused around her, but when I sat down to right, I had it from the Queen’s perspective to make it more interesting to introduce Lauren.
The sex was just fun to right, and I realized I’ve not done much anal fingering, or mouth riding. So I fixed that.
 
The last of the batch for “Blackburn” is from @CloverReef
After watching a bunch (okay, only 2) of historical pieces centred around the intrigues of court, I just had to write something about it. Glad to see my thing for those small gestures is still appreciated. I’ve always enjoyed doing it, and I won’t stop… so that it’s enjoyed is good, lol. 
I’m honestly not sure what I originally intended for pace, but I’m glad it is enjoyable and interesting. 
Lauren… as said to JayDee, she is the crux of the whole thing.
 
Last review is from @InBrightestDay for the tale “Comin’ Home”
Don’t worry, I’m just happy you did leave one at all.
The return home… I think I wrote this around Remembrance Day, and I had to think back to a lot of things I was personally remembering of how I felt on my own return home. It’s one thing to see your loved ones again, but then as you mention, there’s a slight oddness of so many little things being different. It can make the familiar unfamiliar, and the warzone feel comforting again. can anyway.
I know in real life soldiers don’t return home with all that gear, but I felt it would be a touch more impactful if she did. So... I wrote that in. As to the sword and wider world, it’s almost funny that I had forgotten about it when going to write Blood and Lace. But yes, I thought it would be an interesting little nudge.
Well, I’m glad it came out all right. I think I just got hyper focused on certain elements to get across the steamyness I wanted.
 
To all four of you. Thank you kindly for the reviews.

And back to Last Full Measure and @InBrightestDay.  Always a pleasure to see you've reviewed.  Thank you very much.
 
From InBrightestDay on March 09, 2019
 
I'm back!
Not much happening in this chapter, but it does some nice world building, explaining the conflict between the Rebels and the United Earth government, and it's rather nicely balanced.  In quite a few works, the UEMC characters would be the bad guys, the storm troopers trying to kill an independence movement, but of course, as we've seen in conflicts across the real world, it's never that black and white.  So the likable characters working for the UEMC balance out their colonialist goals, and the atrocities committed by the Rebels balance out their noble goal.
Also, I couldn't help but wonder about the M-450.  It's never explained beyond being a heavy weapon, but I can't help but wonder what it is...
Also, this was interesting:
“Corporal Olafsdottir, ensure everyone is aboard,” Celeste said, glancing between Sam and Tirsa.  “I have nothing for you, PFC, though I’m sure Major Hamilton will.”  She stepped away and headed towards the drop ship bay’s control room, where Hamilton and Finnegan were standing.
“Get aboard, Sam, I’ll do a final check,” Tirsa said.  Sam stepped aboard the drop ship and Tirsa took a deep breath.  Not sure why youdidn’t get Ingvild todo this, SergeantMajor, but fine.
It does make me wonder why Celeste did that.  Perhaps she sensed some tension with Sam and, having issues with her own ex, wanted to give Tirsa a little space?  Maybe it's something else.  Either way, it's a nice little character moment.
***
I'm back!
YAY!  Welcome back!
Not much happening in this chapter, but it does some nice world building, explaining the conflict between the Rebels and the United Earth government, and it's rather nicely balanced.  In quite a few works, the UEMC characters would be the bad guys, the storm troopers trying to kill an independence movement, but of course, as we've seen in conflicts across the real world, it's never that black and white.  So the likable characters working for the UEMC balance out their colonialist goals, and the atrocities committed by the Rebels balance out their noble goal.
I'm glad the nuances and subtlety of the world isn't lost too much in the mix of worlds.  There are too many examples of real world conflicts that ultimately go to illustrate your words.  Indeed, one of the other inspirations for LFM was the Anglo-Zulu War, specifically the Battle of Rorke's Drift.  (The Battle of Castle Itter,  known as the strangest battle of World War II, was another.) And yes, war and conflict are never as simple as black and white, at least never as teachers and instructors like to present.
Also, I couldn't help but wonder about the M-450.  It's never explained beyond being a heavy weapon, but I can't help but wonder what it is...
Lol.  The M-420, which will be explained a little more as the tale goes on, is a GPMG (general purpose machine gun) (thank you, @Sinfulwolf).  I think I might have forgotten to change some of its designation though...  oops.
Also, this was interesting:
“Corporal Olafsdottir, ensure everyone is aboard,” Celeste said, glancing between Sam and Tirsa.  “I have nothing for you, PFC, though I’m sure Major Hamilton will.”  She stepped away and headed towards the drop ship bay’s control room, where Hamilton and Finnegan were standing.
“Get aboard, Sam, I’ll do a final check,” Tirsa said.  Sam stepped aboard the drop ship and Tirsa took a deep breath.  Not sure why youdidn’t get Ingvild todo this, SergeantMajor, but fine.
It does make me wonder why Celeste did that.  Perhaps she sensed some tension with Sam and, having issues with her own ex, wanted to give Tirsa a little space?  Maybe it's something else.  Either way, it's a nice little character moment.
This was a bit of a twofer action, lol.  First was, as you said, yes, a little of the "I see tension, here, I'll help you out, Corporal."  The second was supposed to be this subtle start that, like Celeste trusting Lian, shes starting to trust Tirsa (not to mention a little bit of a crush on her).  And trust for Celeste is not the easiest thing to come by.
But, I'm glad you like it .  Chapter 10 I hope to have posted within the next day.

Wait, Guy N. Smith is a personal hero, and there is not one giant mutant crab in this story?  You betrayed us all, pippychick!
No, seriously though, that’s actually really cool, and I seriously need to finish reading Night of the Crabs at some point.
As for the lack of gore being a failure of yours as an author, I don’t think so.  Stories don’t need to be gory to work, and in my opinion the buildup here is far more frightening because of what we don’t see.  The elemental was terrifying when we couldn’t see it, because while part of me was just imagining a blob of water, another part of me was only half-picturing something else, a terrible, nebulous image that I didn’t want to bring into focus because of what it might look like.  In addition, the mention that before he died, George barely resembled anything human, coupled with the “gifts” we’ve seen him receive is replete with uncomfortable possibilities.
While I do think that The Price was scarier overall, I think this really worked in its own way.  Heck, you may have already learned a lesson from it: how to write from the PoV of someone whose personal philosophy you disagree with.

Lol.  Neither is mine, and I do the same thing.  At first, I struggled to remember the dialogue, too, or even some ideas, but I started bringing a notebook with me and writing things down.  (There's an entire scene in Chapter 10 of LFM that I wrote down at work because it just came to me (NSFW dialogue, lol)).

That’s what it comes down to for me, actually.  That, and daydreaming.
No, seriously, when I’m at work and I’m bored (my job is not terribly intellectually stimulating), I’ll often end up playing out scenes from my stories in my head, including scenes I haven’t written yet.  I don’t always remember the exact details of these daydreams, which is a shame because sometimes I really like the dialogue I come up with, but they do often give me a general outline to work with.

Thank you so much, InBrightestDay!
I am not sure I deserve these reviews, but I’ll try and answer your points, so here goes:
I’m afraid the lack of body horror later in the story is entirely down to my own limitations as a writer. I wanted to put it in (I’d been looking forward to that very thing), and I had no compunction about inflicting it on the character, but I found I couldn’t do it without losing the emotional and psychological resonance. I mean, Guy N Smith is one of my heroes, and he can do this with ease. He’s written a number of favourite gory horror scenes, and it kills me that I can’t emulate him. In the end, I had to begin with a little, and heavily hint at more later on, which is kind of personally disappointing to me.
George is unlikeable to me because he’s an out and out capitalist, and I’m the complete opposite. Writing his pov – sympathetically – for me, required some pretty hefty suspension of belief. I still feel dirty. *shudders*
As to the comparison, I think I did say the elemental is also an emissary. It was probably created just for this, to communicate some kind of dissatisfaction. That likely meant it was able to relate to George on a much smaller, human, and more petty level.
I’m glad you liked it. I have to admit, though, I was much happier with how ‘The Price’ turned out. This was difficult, but I think it was also good practice. In time to come, I’m sure I’ll realise I learned a lot from it.
Thank you!

I may be exceptionally late...  Probably exceptionally late...  But...  To add a two cents worth from someone who loves, reads, writes, and watches sci fi…
The idea of monsters is all relative in terms of appearance.  Centuries after everyone is twisted genetically, the "monsters" would become every day and would not be.  It will just be the norm for people.
That said, you can write the characters merely as any other, then a relationship environment can be created.  
I don't know...  Maybe I'm rambling...  atop being late.

So, recently, I found that several people around suffered from a lack of motivation and inspiration, myself included.  It's coming back for me, thankfully.
But, my questions, and maybe this can help others, is:
Where do you find inspiration?  What do you do when you lack motivation?  What do you do to get your muse working again (instead of taking breaks repeatedly)?
In my case, a lot of inspiration come from everyday life, movies, books, et cetera.  My motivation...  That, I don't know...  Often times, I just get an idea and want to run with it.

She definitely had distinctly impure, indeed downright mucky, thoughts about her commander Luzurial in the old days. And most of her comrades. And herself. I’ve basically got the ending written out but need to get it together and write the things that brought her to that point and if I don’t, well, the ending was fun to write! 
And it’s nice of you to say so, it really is, but I even have trouble writing the damn gore these days! I mean, look at this story here, someone’s been stabbed in the stomach and nobody even tried to fuck them as they were suffering. What the hell kind of JD story is this?
...oh now I remember the Ace story. Yeah, that one was fucked up. 

There’s actually an additional aspect to the sadness.  Shannon states that this is never to be her home again.  While it’s never stated explicitly, it’s implicit in the setting that if demons are fallen angels, then they can redeem themselves.  It would explain why Luzurial offered to let Eparlegna leave peacefully in spite of how she must have felt about what he was doing to her mortal charges: erasing him from existence removes whatever tiny chance of redemption he may have (this also adds to the tragedy of Luzurial suffering horribly for being nice), and would explain why the Fallen were exiled instead of killed, since exile allows them to contemplate their mistake and potentially repent.  Last but not least, it would mean Kizzy likely scored some points for her ultimate decision not to kill Shannon.
So Shannon’s assumption that she can never go home is especially sad because, in spite of her genuinely kind heart, she appears to have assumed that she is beyond redemption.
This raises another question.  Back in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom, Shannon only recognized Eparlegna as a demon who had wreaked havoc on an alternate Earth, which begs the question: does she know what happened to her commanding officer and mentor?
When I said things were going to be awkward when Kizzy got out of the lake, I had meant for that Principality (and also for Jude if he wakes up), but things might get really awkward for Kizzy and Shannon as well.
Shannon: What was up with that whole statue thing?
Kizzy: You may wish to sit down...

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist)
Thank you for the review! It’s good of you to stick with the story and provide the feedback. I guess Kizzy has a plan, like the A-Team’s Hannibal she loves it when a plan comes together. That’s one of the way she thinks things through more than Shannon who just likes coming together – I think she has fantasies like that about most people, but of course the Angels are inhumanly beautiftul/handsome so... I’m glad it made you laugh – it took me years after her first apperance to decide the name Shannon originally had, and in the end that seemed the most hilariously inappropiate one. I’ve actually done the first chunk of a story called The Fall of Chastia which from BronxWench’s guidance I’d have to post in the Books section as it features some Biblical angels as active characters and Lucifer’s rebellion. I hope to get it done!
She’s been bound within  a statue as Luzurial was at the end of Whore of Heaven but she isn’t in any pain. As the Duchess mentioned earlier, it actually was Kizurial who gave the order that no angel should release Luzurial from Eparlegna’s statue as a further punishment for Luzurial disobeying the creator’s order to leave humanity to face Eparlegna alone. Kizurial was assigned to Earth by her Creator a relatively short time later, to deal with the kind of supernatural slumber party killer you might normally see an ordinary angel dealing with, and then needed to stay there, because she hadn’t returned Shannon to Hell, or granted her oblivion. These things may not be unconnected. The creator has plans too…
The Principality (who I alone have imagined with a Welsh accent) unaware of Shannon’s friendship and service with Kizurial, sees herself as applying Kizurial’s ‘justice’ to a demon who escaped Hell, although not being a demon herself hasn’t subjected Shannon to horrible tortures first. Shannon’s fate could just get very dull, bound in the statue, watching people going about their lives in a park somewhere, if Shannon doesn’t have some kind of succubus-power infused toy in there to keep her entertained until she is released…
Tolkien had a great sense of continuity, I barely keep continuity within the same scene   I just can’t write so good as some of you other folks on here. You and BronxWench or George – and InBrightestDay paints much better word pictures than I do! Still, I don’t feel bad because I get to enjoy your writing (or be deeply unsettled and actually have a frickin’ nightmare after the last one… But that can be enjoyable too, s’like a free horror movie.)

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) reviews!
And let’s try the at-symbol for these…
Thank you for coming back to review, I surely appreciate it. I guess the status of Shannon’s pass is now more obvious… Can’t fool the entrance!
Thanks! I specifically went as vague as possible beyond it having a lot of souls there, and the necessary lake which I had an idea was one of the earliest/oldest parts of the creation of Paradise. The earlier references to perception, such as over the wall, also work as a bit of a saving throw – if another character sees/experiences things differently then it can still work! Also, I needed to fit in the word klaxon and it felt as good a way as any. I also didn’t use Heaven as a term to be a little less specific. Don’t know if it worked, but eh.
Thank you! This is one of those things a character says, like with Kate and her claim she was bitten by a metalhead, that might be them just messing around or might actually have happened – I could see Shannon doing it with Kizzy’s interests at heart, so there could be a story there sometime. Plus, I too just found it a little funny.
I figured actually being back there might hit Shannon harder than she expected. It’s been billions of years, and she’s trying to be a decent, but still she is the enemy, the betrayer of her duty who fell at the dawn of things.
And the ending of this part was why I decided to put the reference to Luzurial being trapped in the statue in back in part 2, otherwise it would just come out of nowhere. Since Shannon isn’t in constant agony and wasn’t horribly tortured first, she’s a lot better off than Luzurial. Besides “It was your idea!” (Also, heh ) The Principality has the argument that Shannon was cast down to Hell and made her way back in further than any demon ever managed, so restraining her in a different way was more appropriate. This also prevents her sharing how she got through the entrance before the Angels can figure it out. The whole thing ties in with the idea I had that there might have been a certain amount of bad feeling towards Kizurial, so when Shannon uses her name it encourages the Principality to mete out a harsher punishment than usual for breaking back into Paradise. That’s all stuff Kizzy needs to recognise and come to terms with, and ultimately, try to make amends for.
Thanks! The likelihood is that there is one more chapter to go, but I did have some ideas for a penultimate chapter. I’ve started on it and if I think it works there’ll be two more to go. I dunno. I just hope the ending makes sense and isn’t disappointing. But, eh, I’m having fun writing it.

You kidding me?  There was a discussion on the nature of divine omniscience and how it relates to morality over on JayDee’s thread!  This is nothing.
I see it’s time to break this out again:

I didn’t mean to imply that there was anything wrong with commissioning art in the abstract, but rather meant to imply that commissioning art from this story would be needy or arrogant on my part.  I’ll try and explain in more detail via PM.

Crap… this is your review thread. But story straight:
Comin’ Home was the story that kicked off Blood and Lace. I wrote it first, then decided to expand on what I had.
As to the art… it was commissioned. I asked a friend to do it up, but the pin-ups were commissioned. There is one piece floating around that I’ve not shared here yet that was part of a trade but… yeah. Guess I’ve got the authorial arrogance and neediness. Well, fuck.
Anyway, had to set records straight, so back to your review stuff.

Absolutely!  I read Comin’ Home, but didn’t feel qualified to leave a review because the story is part of a larger tale I wasn’t familiar with.  However, your ability to communicate the emotions of the characters, the sense of a long term relationship and the dislocation felt by someone returning after a long absence was extremely impressive.
 I haven’t gotten to Blood and Lace yet, but I know you’ve really made an impact with it because I saw in the art room that you have fan art.  I know you said it was by a friend, but it means your characters made such an impression that your friend wanted to make those images.
If I ever wanted, say, a group picture of Luzurial, Kevin, Abdul and Calista, I’d have to ask for it or commission it, which would be more a show of authorial arrogance and neediness than the display of real love that fan art is.

You’re very kind to keep giving me the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t think I deserve it.  I’m trying to handle the story element as best I can, but ultimately I don’t know that I can do it well.
I’m not saying it can’t be done well; I know it can.  I just don’t think I’m talented enough to do so.  Part Seven should be up Wednesday morning, so we’ll have a better idea then, but I apologize in advance.  You’re an amazing author, SinfulWolf, and I’m sorry if I disappoint you.

I think there’s some part of us, deep inside, that never matures past age twelve.  And in any case the ”not what I was talking” about joke is one I’ve always enjoyed.
It’s probably about the same thing.  I mean, to paraphrase, it went like this:
Luzurial: Go home and stop hurting these people.
Eparlegna: How about no?
Luzurial: Well okay then. *draws sword*
Speaking of which, that’s another moment of yours in the “Luzurial is awesome” category, to the point that I honestly got kinda mad when she stepped into the trap immediately afterward and he laughed at her.  I was all “Stop laughing at her; she was being badass!”
But, you know, needs of the genre and all.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying it’s worse than damnation (because obviously it isn’t), and I suppose it fits a certain definition of “free.”  You can’t very well be upset about not existing if you don’t exist...but the idea of it is terrifying (again, for people who believe in the afterlife).
It’ll be up Wednesday morning.  Still worried about it, but I’ve reached a painful acceptance that the problem isn’t one I can fix.
Well, my first thought would be outer space, where if she transforms and radiates like a solar flare it won’t cause a mass extinction, but that’s a bit of a simple solution.
The second option, though...I don’t know if Shannon has a pass to get back in there yet...

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist)
Thank you for your review! Gotta love getting reviews. There’s an old joke about someone wanting to write a story about camping, but found it too in tents. I said it was old, I didn’t say it was good.
Thanks! That’s what I hoped for. And for everyone know doesn’t know Mario Kart, it’s confusing as heck! Naturally Kate doesn’t actually have fleas. Since her last treatment bath. There was water everywhere.
Thanks! Lupa really appreciates having friends, to the point where it once seemed a really good idea to make them vampires too.
Thank you! It’s definitely unnatural. Making a Void Blade had obscene costs and lots of suffering – the Duchess, needless to say,  delegated it all.
All for one, one for all! Plus they have an understanding with Kizzy now and don’t find here anywhere near as scary. From Lupa’s point of view, Kizzy stopped her from making the mistake of trying to turn her friends into vampires like her. That’s probably something I’ll try and cover when finishing Blood on the Hay
Gotta feel a bit bad for Trenna here. She’s going down on Shannon, she just knows her lover’s about to boil over, when suddenly she’s gently but firmly pushed aside and Shannon jumps through a frickin’ wall as screaming starts below. I mean, the wings, the transforming outfit, and the inhuman strength are icing on that interrupted morning lay. On the other hand, If I do finish the story of how they hooked up the night before she’ll probably be well aware that Shannon isn’t actually human, by the time they go to bed– seeing wings appear would be a shock for anyone though!
And I’m glad you found that funny! I really wanted to include it, but had no idea if anyone else would find it amusing. I am kinda puerile and immature sometimes.
I’ve got most of Lupa’s backstory worked out in my head now. How she became a vampire, what happened to her family, why she’s a vampire alone and what it was making her think turning her closest friends into vampires would be a good idea. Also why she decided she wasn’t gonna believe in no creator or heaven and hell and the rest anymore. I don’t know if I’ll get to write the story about her becoming a vampire, but I hope do manage it. S’gonna have a golem in it!
I don’t recall what I was thinking with the offer in WoH, but I’m pretty sure for the TSPoED that Kizurial was offering a total cessation of existance. From her point of view the fallen were sent to Hell as punishment, and that punishment has continued for billions of years despite some of them briefly making it to mortal worlds like Earth before being sent forcefully back. To Kizzy oblivion is a way to end that torment and be free so it feels like a better option to her, especially if she doesn’t see much hope of them ever being redeemed – and I’m sure it can be done painlessly, too.
The Void Blade is not painless and doesn’t come with a “Waking up in Heaven/Hell” option.
The other option Kizzy could have offered was Shannon remaining on Earth. She didn’t consider that until Shannon sided with her against Eparlegna and redemption seemed possible. Neither of the demons  who were offered oblivion agreed with the offerer that it is a better deal and jumped to take it! I guess their perspective is different to the angels and probably closer to yours. I mean, sure, some of the fallen are probably pretty miserable in Hell, but others seem to like it ok – Chastia got bored down there while old Lucifer prefers to reign etc etc famous Milton quote.
What happened to Eparlegna in the current non-canon-ish ending of TSPoED part 3 was basically erasure/rebirth so it’s possible that they think they’re getting nothing while part of their energy lives on. Eh, with my sloppy approach to continuity and often half-assed philosophy I’m sure there’s multiple options that all work!
I hope it lives up to the plan I have in my head! You might decide it sucks, or makes no sense, or doesn’t fit with other stuff established. All of this could be true, though I hope not. If it is terrible though, please tell me! I’m happy to have negative feedback  – I can sometimes learn from it, while other times it generally matches my own perspective on my writing!
Thank you again, I really do appreciate the review. I hope your sorting out part 7 of 9 of The Woman in the Statue goes well. If it gives you trouble just tell it “Resistance is futile.” 
If you were a grievously wounded seraph, where would you ask to be taken?

Your rambling there did make sense. But, while it’s good to have a support system, my exact concerns are going to be these two make love, and everything gets fixed (there’s only a few chapters left after all and at least one of them is going to be stopping the threat to the world). As JayDee said, making it F/F wouldn’t have made this particularly better. And I’ve not said you’re going to go that route… it’s just kind of primed for it right now.