InBrightestDay

I agree about the odds of getting reviews from regular visitors, but I think the probabilities for getting reviews from other authors are better and these are more inclined to go investigate an authors profile than regular readers. Afterall I four months back had not visited AFF like in a decade and now I think I have checked quite a few of your fics….I did not scroll through pages from the front screen to find them.
I would say that trying to reform a demon is a pretty sure way to make sure he is in for some shit. It seem plausible that that he might succeed eventually, but you have a enormous opportunity for coming up with stories when he alternate between failing and failing hard. 
The trouble is really that I have all these ideas for good scenes, but times fly by with me unable to get time to do proper writing.
Sounds like great fun.

Let’s hope there are more reviews eventually, the story deserves it.
She could play the “do this small thing for me and I will not mess with this mortal”-gambit. There is also the “you care about this character, if you don’t do this little small thing for me I will temporary release this fallen soul to cause them misery”-gambit. You must not make too easy for Jude...
Give me a half year or so…WtMC has only about 6 pages done while next chapter of CENtD are mostly done but have a few scenes that refuse to play along so it will take a lot time before they go online.
In the mean time...if you got time to spare I do have   story posted with the name  Anor Don Masin: Tales of Deception. It just like 10k words and considering what kind of story codes you put on your stories it would be interesting to hear what you think about this PWP story.
I hope it will be something interesting. Not everything you do is of my liking, but those things that I do like I enjoy very much.

I thought Michael was an Archangel and his doesn’t end with ‘-el’
I think at this point we could concede these are names given to beings that we struggle to understand, and the ones they may hold for themselves don’t match up.

See, this right here is what happens when I only read the summary instead of the actual fanfic.
That’s likely to be several stories down the road, assuming it gets written at all.  As I mentioned to you in our email discussion, if the villain’s plan works the result will be the apocalypse.  And I don’t mean the destruction of Earth, I mean the actual apocalypse.
I’m just saying, you start with The Avengers and then make your way to Infinity War/Endgame.  Also, I’ll need another story or two to introduce Lailah to readers, so that the borrowed plot point will hurt.  Also, the fact that there’s a borrowed plot point is why it’ll likely never get written.
 I’d almost forgotten about that.

She’s the one got him to turn into a chicken!
Thank you! I love that ya loved it.
Jude's Tale
Thank you for this review! I’m really glad the humor worked. I guess so far as the Monty Python bit goes, that’s not my humor but I nicked it anyway Jude was definitely the kind of guy who got drunk, rubbed one out to some AFF story and then didn’t leave so much as a “thanks for writing it” the dirty callous handed bastard.
Kizurial isn’t bad, but she’s definitely made some questionable decisions in her time in the belief that she was doing the right thing. She’s generally a good influence at least.
I hoped for fun, I got part 8 which had less jokes.
And thank you for this review! I think Jude’s got quite the job on his hands. I think their relationship would be an odd one, since the Duchess’ main aim now would be to corrupt him back into being her fuckboi pet, while still required to protect him, while Jude’s only interested in what she might become again. Kizurial’s hope is a) that she is redeemed and b) that dealing with Jude keeps her from being able to be as effective at interfering with other mortals or Kizzy and Shannon and co.
These characters are all free for others to use! InBrightestDay has an idea for a crossover at some point set after The Woman in the Statue which ought to be fun if it ever gets written. And then there’s an entirely non-canon “Shanon/Kevin/Luzurial” threesome we joked about, where Kevin gives the heartwarming tale of how they came to fall in love and respect and cherish each other, and Shannon’s so overcome with happiness for them she can barely ask dirty questions about how they first got to the boning.
 
Thank you! Always happy to hear when things made readers laugh
Thank you again! Shannon definitely not finding orgasm denial so pleasant to be on the receiving end.
And thank you again for reading, and reviewing. I guess the next thing I’d like to do with them is finish off the Blood on the Hay story, and maybe even another part or two of the original Slumber Party story to show what happened next on that fateful night after Eparlegna went to Hell. I also have a couple origin stories for Lupa and Shannon that I’m thinking on (I’ve got a chunk of “The Fall of Chastia” written already) but while my muse is only giving me the motivation to do the 1000 word flashfics/chapters for the prompts adding new parts to the early two fics with Kizzy and Co seems like a likely option.
I’ve jinxed it now. I may never write again.
...and I may have gone over the line a few times. Left it distantly behind me, invisible for the dust, and the blood, and the misery. Still, you’ve got to laugh. 
You’re a pretty shining high point of the site yourself!
 

Jude’s Tale has limped past 500 views! Quite a way to go to beat the 9587 views Naruto the Cluck managed just by using the beaten-to-death “Hinata cuckolds Naruto” trope. If I was in this just for the hits I’d just shit out Naruto crackfics until they got wise to me.
Thank you thank you thank you! I really liked how this one came out too. The Seraph absolutely hoped Jude would make the choice he did, but may not be entirely prepared for re-absorbing the mask and the impact it may have on her, such as certain more-human yearnings.
Thanks again! Shannon would probably take professional affront to that line, mind. “Someone doesn’t want me? I must try harder!”
I’m glad the ending felt right – It was the only way I could see to do it, though it doesn’t really make up for the bad things Jude did, it’s a tiny step in the right direction.
There was a bet. Shannon bet she could swallow more hot dogs than Wolf!form Kate, who took the bet forgetting that Shannon could swallow a lot without gagging. Oh! Wait, do you mean the Duchess’s promise? Yeah, there’s that That’ll be important later. 
Thank you again, I appreciate your reading and reviewing this story. I hope you’re making/have made good progress on that original you mentioned working on with CloverReef!

You know, I’ve been thinking about this story on and off for a decade, and somehow I literally never noticed that.

That’s possible.  “Elohim” is definitely an imported word, but El or some variant thereof is ridiculously common in ancient Semitic languages (Ugaritic, Phoenician, Hebrew, Aramaic, Akkadian), and is even used as a proper name for a deity in multiple ancient religions, so it’s hard for me to pin down where it was imported from.
Well, that made me feel better for not catching it, at least.
Not a problem at all!  I’m a Bio major, so I’m still on a learning curve when it comes to all of this stuff, and discussions like this are a good way to learn.
Besides, you have not seen geeking out yet.  When I was discussing Part Six with JayDee, I mentioned that, just out of idle curiosity, I had calculated how much energy Luzurial would need to produce to melt that aluminum tentacle in the Room 502 sequence, complete with estimating the diameter and subsequent volume of the tentacle, its mass based on the density of aluminum, and then using the specific heat and enthalpy of fusion of aluminum to figure out what it would take to bring it from room temperature to melting point and then force the phase change.  it’s about 18 megajoules, in case you’re curious.
Thank you again!

Well, that name was chosen for the best reasons: ironic reasons!  Besides, not all angel names end in -el, Lailah and Sandalphon being examples.

Hopefully they mean whoever did this ‘in story’ :p
As for the spelling, I grant that my ancient Hebrew scholarship was weaker than it should have been, but honestly some of the angels in this setting have even less proper names. Luzurial was the name the character gave me in my head, who’m I to argue? Kizzy’s just as bad… And as for Chastia, I mean, that’s originally from latin.  I ain’t the brightest!

TimeWise is an author over on Literotica, and has a story called Conversion (a mixture of medieval fantasy and horror).  I asked if I could namedrop a character from that story, and he expressed interest in my story.  I warned him about some of the content, which was apparently fine, so here we are.
Thank you!  The humor was kind of my way of acknowledging how ridiculous the circumstances can be, and it keeps popping up.  As for payback for what happened to Luzurial, that’s going to take a while, but come Part Nine, whenever I manage that...
I asked about that actually, way back in the day.  According to @JayDee, the author of the original story, Luzurial’s name is based on the Spanish word luz, meaning “light,” and a deliberate misspelling of the Archangel Uriel’s name.  As far as I can tell from online research (read: half an hour on Wikipedia and various name etymology sites), the suffix “-el” is a short form of “Elohim,” which is one of the Hebrew names for God, so Michael translates to “who is like God” and Gabriel to “God is my strength” or “hero of God” (I’m not sure what the order is supposed to be).  Uriel, on the other hand, translates to either “light of God” or “God is my light” (again, not sure what the order is), and as a result Luzuriel would look right, but would actually be somewhat redundant.
Thank you!  You know, that moment in particular is an example of me catching a problem and trying to make a bug into a feature.  I started writing the scene and, given the substance matting her hair, figured she would want that off of her body now, so I figured it would be nice for her to have a bath.  Then I realized you generally don’t let people with stitches do that, and figured it might be a good way to show off one of her powers, specifically her regeneration.
Thanks again for the review!

Jude's Tale gets a review! And I have time to respond before going away for the weekend
“Terrible synth music starts playing in the park.”
Firstly thanks for the review! Secondly, terrible pick up line is what I was going for. This is like a pair of totally inexperienced introverts, managing to spend time with each other officially for study but also due to each having deeply held desire for the other suddenly finding their desires overwhelming, and nerding it up a little. Like the awkward kissing! Plus, being around a revved up Shannon can make most people act like they’re in bad porn.
Nacre was coming up and I chose cutlery to get it in there – a hamper picnic also seemed a good way to get ‘em to Shannon’s statue. I didn’t know about the reputation as an aphrodisiac! Unintentionally makes it kind of even more appropriate, so that’s cool. Besides being classy I was thinking about Persephone having to stay in the underworld, while the donuts may have been sourced over at the Ironic Punishment Division but, yes, likely Jude’s choice if they’re in there. Just throwing references at the wall and seeing what I could get away with.
Thanks! “Just throwing references at the wall and seeing what I can get away with.” :p Tegwen wanted to ensure Shannon had a suitable punishment, as inspired by Kizurial’s decision, but she’s as naive about sexuality as Luzurial was so it ended up harsher than intended. She presumably expected Shannon to meekly stand inside and consider her sins for eternity. Although unpleasant it hasn’t got so bad I thought it needed the Tort tag – if you think it could use one, let me know!
The orgasm denial element is also a call back to what Shannon put Chummy through in Corrupt the Midwife
*Taps self on chest* Monster.
The Duchess could be wrong, although she believes she is right. I think Luzurial and even Shannon could both retain their minds throughout the whole of existence if left inside. Eparlegna might even intend that with the original design, because retaining rational awareness and those periods of lucidity, would likely make the suffering even worse.
The whole story from the Duchess’ perspective has been about scoring as much emotional damage to Shannon as possible, because Shannon walked out on her. So her involvement started with manipulating Jude to try and kill Shannon’s friend (with added big picture bonus of trying to take out a frickin’ seraph). The Duchess’ motivation is a big part of the reason I thought it was appropriate to end the story with Shannon after all rather than leave that part of the story unshown.
The last time she punished Shannon directly was in the decades after the Chummy debacle. That was physical punishment and it didn’t go so well, since Shannon throroughly enjoyed all the filthy sexual things the Duchess’s mind could come up with, though the Duchess just heard all the hollerin’ and thought things were going to plan.
Thinking about Luzurial’s utterly unconsensual violations and tortures is considerably more painful to Shannon. The Duchess has realised this and is taking full advantage to twist the knife. Making a point of talking about Kizurial’s command in front of Shannon’s statue is another part of that. Her final throw of the dice is trying to kill the friendship and leave Shannon without someone watching out for her on Earth against other angels.
It’s still ultimately Jude’s Tale because he goes from being the Duchess’ pawn to being in a position to influence her back, (my favorite bit is her appalled reaction to finding he intends to help her find redemption) and if I didn’t get to explore his past and his change from good guy to dipshit, at least it was a tale of his present and possible future.
Dying, and getting inside Kizurial (stop snickering, Shannon), definitely put Jude in a mindset to change away from being a nasty bigot, and get back to the kind of guy he used to be, much less of an asshole than in parts 1 – 3. Shannon’s “Fuck you,” is a way of saying that his regretful words alone aren’t much to her, but maybe after those lifetimes in Hell if he’s keeping at it she’d speak more kindly to him – plus she’s pretty fucking miserable at that point. Hopefully I’ll get to write a oneshot follow up at some point to resolve the issues between Shannon and Kizzy (and with some apologies from Kizzy to a certain other archangel, oh and a tentacle monster. Heh, calling back to taking a story title taken from a song I could call it “All Apologies.”
Thanks for reviewing all of the parts of the story, I appreciate the heck out of it. I genuinely hope it hasn’t been too tedious to push through, but I had fun with it! I’m off in a bit and won’t be back on AFF until Sunday after that, but I’ll be happy to reply further then – I hope everyone has a good weekend!

I think you have the possibility of quite funny dialogue when Kizzy gets Shannon free...

That was the original plan Unfortunately you may be disappointed. I’m having trouble fitting in the stuff I need to show in the final part!

Could not Kizzy getting Shannon free be a story of its own...or are they needed in the current story?

Well, it seems Last Full Measure is popular...   At least with @InBrightestDay, who graciously leaves another review.  (On the opposite news, I'm starting to think I might just need to replace the shelf.)
From InBrightestDay on March 24, 2019
 
Well, I feel rather conflicted with this one.  I mean, since Chapter 1 Celeste has been putting herself and others in danger by hiding her illness.  On the other hand, I can't help but feel bad for her because...well, woman's mentally ill, and is in that state because of horrific trauma.  The same applies to other characters.  Lian and Adara are covering for Celeste, which could well get her (or them) killed, but you can understand why they're doing it too.  It's unprofessional, and normally when you care for someone as Lian and Adara clearly do for Celeste, you want them to get help, but right now, removing her from the team will mean...what?  There aren't exactly surviving therapists on Hecatoncheires given the monster attack, so they'd have to keep her under guard, I suppose, which would use up yet more personnel, whom they are going to need if and when the monsters return...
So yeah, sympathy for everyone's decisions here.
On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I laughed a lot at the swearing in this chapter, with my personal favorites being "Holy flaming dogshit!" and "Fuck me with a spoon."
Finally, we now have confirmation that this was notdone by humans, but what are these creatures?  Now Celeste and a small team are going underground, which is usually a bad thing to do in a monster movie, so things are likely to get dicey…
***
Well, I feel rather conflicted with this one.  I mean, since Chapter 1 Celeste has been putting herself and others in danger by hiding her illness.  On the other hand, I can't help but feel bad for her because...well, woman's mentally ill, and is in that state because of horrific trauma.  The same applies to other characters.  Lian and Adara are covering for Celeste, which could well get her (or them) killed, but you can understand why they're doing it too.  It's unprofessional, and normally when you care for someone as Lian and Adara clearly do for Celeste, you want them to get help, but right now, removing her from the team will mean...what?  There aren't exactly surviving therapists on Hecatoncheires given the monster attack, so they'd have to keep her under guard, I suppose, which would use up yet more personnel, whom they are going to need if and when the monsters return...
So yeah, sympathy for everyone's decisions here.
I will admit, I was really worried about adding that in.  On one side, I know that to many people, it makes Celeste selfish and, as such, unsympathetic as she is actively putting people in danger knowing her condition.  On the other, to some, I know it would be sympathetic; a flawed character in the way that people could associate with.  In the end, I kind of went for what worked for the story (even if, to some, she becomes disliked and hated).
On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I laughed a lot at the swearing in this chapter, with my personal favorites being "Holy flaming dogshit!" and "Fuck me with a spoon."
Lol.  I'm glad you laughed at them.  I certainly wanted to avoid the "direct" approach.  And, while flaming dogshit is not in my vernacular, "well, fuck me with a spoon" is definitely one of mine when it comes to being surprised.
Finally, we now have confirmation that this was notdone by humans, but what are these creatures?  Now Celeste and a small team are going underground, which is usually a bad thing to do in a monster movie, so things are likely to get dicey…
Well, I certainly hope it comes out as dicey.  Its definitely trying to be written like that.  Lol.
 
 
 
 
 

Oh, JayDee, that’s ridiculous and you know it.
There’s no reason to assume the elites will be inbred.
Well, color me surprised.
In all seriousness, my view of the future fluctuates from day to day, so some days I’m completely with you, and some days, when I don’t want to get so depressed that my family gets scared, I feel like I have to hope that things can get better instead of worse.
This was kind of what I was thinking when I wrote it: that they’d definitely fire on anything coming out of the barrier, but may not fire on someone going in.  Having said that, Sinfulwolf has actual military experience, so if she tells me I did something stupid with regards to the military, well, I’m going to assume that I did.

Luzurial knew that there were ten agents total, and that they reported to Hobbs, so that’s what Kevin sent to Chloe (the cultists didn’t all know each other’s names, so Luzurial couldn’t pull that info from mind reading).  Chloe and Cole then worked out who the remaining agents were and sent that list to Kevin.

I’ll admit, I may be overly optimistic.  I know it’s difficult to change behaviors ingrained since childhood, and that discussion of gender relations can be difficult to even have because the issue is so sensitive.  All I can say is that I can see the effort being made, so I think there is some cause for hope.

Part of this is also just my fault.  You know how I’ve mentioned in the Author’s Notes and here that my talents as an author are very limited?  Well, the reason masculinity hasn’t changed as much as it should have for this story is down in large part to my weakness at writing a future society with a different culture as opposed to just different technology.
By the time 2082 rolls around in the real world, I think we’re likely to be in a much better place on that front.

Well… we’ll see.

No you can do anything you want to do

I’m sure it’ll be good either way!

Well, it’s only polite when reading someone’s work to leave something at least. 
But yes, a little touching on the military certainly goes a way into world building. I don’t think JayDee really played with that aspect cause the world building took a second seat to the act of that the story was displaying really. 
But yes, the soldiers with some preparation should be much better trained and prepared.
I’ve been tinkering with some ideas of sloth based demons and monsters for a bit, so I feel the difficulties there in trying to put it out there as being associated with that particular sin while also being a viable threat. But the slug design and bone plates really sold the image.
Glad I was able to help somewhat.
I’m glad ye had that thought. Cause holy hell, nothing mucks up an operation like a bunch of people running around thinking they know what they’re doing yet not having a clue. While Luzurial confronting Kevin would have made me smile, it’s good you didn’t cause that could have been hurtful. No one likes having their pride poked at. Especially by the pretty girl you slept with and wanna protect.
There’s a lot of reasons why Kevin acts the way he does, down the cultural ones, love, etc. etc. etc., and you have made good points and listed them. But… after all the times it’s brought up Luzurial is an arch angel, and how strong she is despite not being at full strength, it comes across really thick as a kind of male pride thing in Kevin’s behaviour. It’s part of his character for sure, but it’s also a little sad that nothing’s gunna change much in the next 75 years in regards to viewing women as the one’s that always need protecting on all those levels.
There are reasons it could have happened sure, but it’s something that really popped out to me. Especially after promising an arch angel that these kids would be protected.
Guess it all comes down to ROEs, which you’ve only slightly dabbled in. But considering the world ending threat, I kinda figure the thing should have gotten a few rounds up the grill and hood… I’ll try not to mention all the machine guns and such.
And I am looking forward to seeing the conclusion.

I think a possible way to explain it would be that even though an angel has incredible ability to recover from injury their very nature also makes them more susceptible to suffer from rapes. You could probably extend the concept to that angels gain courage and power from virtues and are easily hurt by sins.
What kind level of competency are we to expect of minions of Eparlegna...
The problem with comms SNAFU would IMHO be that it would be really weird if agent Chloe did not follow up with the National Guard about the bad agents. I would assume that tracking what Hobbs might have ordered is kind of essential if you have second Rapturee coming. Actually speaking about that...who actually sent the list in the first place? Until the latest chapter I thought that Kevin sent the list to Chloe based on Luzurials mindreading, but now it was suddenly the reverse. It makes sense that Kevin still has the list on his phone and need to check it since he has not memorized the names, but the current double messages about who wrote the list is confusing.

I was thinking more along the lines of re-writing the section so he doesn’t use his actual name until he already has his captives in the car.
That could also work.