InBrightestDay

@pippychick returns to review Part Six! Thank you! The torture and mocking line about her going back to Heaven was indeed meant to call back to WoH (even to a specific line of Eparlegna’s), as were the students set up like an audience. When the barrier draws back in WoH, there’s a line about how some of the corpses are posed in grotesque parodies of life, which is what I was going for with the lecture hall. Is it possible to catch diabetes from sheer cuteness? Because if it is, then baby sloth compilations on Youtube have to be the leading cause. Having said that, the Wrath creature was definitely meant to be as physically intimidating as possible. I think the image I initially had was of a skinless, eyeless polar bear, but then I saw this picture that managed to make Megatherium look unintentionally terrifying, and I realized that if you took the long, curving claws that sloths have and attached them to something really aggressive, they’re suddenly not so cute anymore… I’m also really glad you liked the way it’s defeated. I couldn’t think of anything as clever as the way Abdul and Calista blow up the Charnel Spider, but thought that since anger is often self-defeating, maybe there was a way for the monster to kill itself, and that even if Kevin was absolutely terrified, he could still have enough presence of mind to make the knock-out-the-pillars plan work. What’s upsetting her isn’t really what happened in the lecture hall; it’s what happened 75 years earlier. She knows she let Eparlegna rape her again to save Kevin from being skinned alive, but a combination of the experience and the fact that Kevin saw it means that she feels that he now knows what she “did” back in Whore of Heaven, and this has to do with her sense of self-worth and the damage inflicted to it by the torture and rapes she suffered back then. You noted that she feels more human during the car scene. To some extent, I tend to write her more human from time to time because of the moments in WoH that I really liked, where we learned that Luzurial is actually very relatable in spite of being an archangel (very human, in other words) I try to balance that with her immortality and superhuman nature, but sometimes I lean too far one way or the other. Partly, though, I think her coming across as more human here is because of the emotionally vulnerable state she’s in at this moment. If I may quote an earlier post of mine in this thread, Luzurial is... So her sexual experience is a spot in which she is emotionally vulnerable, and I think she reads as more human in this scene because of that vulnerability. Once again, thank you so much for the review!

I suppose that’s good advice for aspiring supervillains. I was specifically referring to something near the end of Part Six, though: And now, for the last of the reviews I received yesterday, this one from @Thundercloud First, I’m really happy you liked the chapter! Second, I’m a chronically socially awkward guy, so I actually had no idea what the hair flipping thing meant until just now. Assuming angelic body language is the same as human body language (and there’s a sentence that isn’t written often), then that is a nice little bonus feature! Yeah, that’s about it. He’s not entirely wrong, and it did net him ten extra followers. He does also have a bit more of a plan than he did last time, but as you indicated, he has a bad habit of underestimating humanity and, as I said in my response to InvidiaRed’s review, the power granted by his new body might be causing him to do a little less planning than he did back in Whore of Heaven. As it is, the plan is for something in between. There is going to be a final fight between Luzurial and Eparlegna, as I couldn’t very well have her stay away from the situation (it’s just not who she is as a character), but she’s not going to try to solve the problem on her own; human forces are absolutely going to be involved. This will become clearer in Part Eight. Thank you! This was basically the sex scene I’ve been building up to since Part One, and I really wanted it to be both erotic and emotional, hence why I keep referring to it as a love scene. I’ve started thinking JayDee, pippychick and I are all in a sort of support group for writers with low self-confidence, because I say the same thing to either of them when they express doubt in their own abilities. We have one more chapter before the finale, but I hope it’s good when it gets here, and thank you for the support!

Up next, @InvidiaRed reviews Part Seven! Thank you! I definitely wanted the love scene between Luzurial and Kevin to be part of her healing process, and one of the biggest parts of that, for me anyway, was that first line you mentioned. She and Kevin could just kiss for a while and then go to sleep. Kevin’s a teenage boy, so he’ll be somewhat disappointed, but he also feels very strongly for her (there’s a word for that, but he’s afraid to use it), so he’d definitely be willing to do it. However, as Luzurial realizes, avoiding things that remind her of her rape will mean that Eparlegna has effectively taken sex away from her forever, and the only memories she will have of those acts and sensations will be those of pain and shame. So she decides right there that she will not allow that to happen, and that she wants to have, as you said, a positive experience, to feel sexual pleasure as it was meant to be: not used as a setup for hurting her or a way of shaming her, but given as a gift, for no other reason than that the giver wants her to have it. Yeah, I like that line too, especially since Eparlegna basically has nuked cities in the past. There’s actually a scene near the end of Part Nine where that very thing gets discussed. Yeah, he’s basically acting the same here (assuming I’ve done this right) as he did in Whore of Heaven. In WoH, everything worked out in his favor, but there he had planned things out meticulously beforehand, in part I imagine because he knew he was relatively weak, and any fight between him and an angel would have lasted about five seconds. Here, though, he has a new, more powerful body, and I think the power has made him somewhat more careless. He can torch an army, so he’s less dedicated to planning things out. In a way, becoming stronger has made him weaker. An archangel fights a firebreathing dragon. If I manage to write Part Nine well (fingers crossed), that will be just as awesome as it sounds.

And now for the reviews! First, @pippychick reviews Part Five. InvidiaRed called it a “sudden Prince Albert,” which I thought was pretty funny. It wasn’t really meant to symbolize anything, it was just the first monster present, and I kind of wanted to set up the joke with Calista (“There’s no way I’m coming out of this vent! That’s exactly what the penis worm wants!”). Basically, Luzurial is hoping to shoo the mortals out gently so they don’t get hurt during the confrontation with Eparlegna, so she’s hoping both of them will go get Calista. However, Kevin is, as Abdul says, pretty much glued to her at this point, so he’s not leaving her. That means that either everyone has to go in to face Eparlegna together and then get Calista, everyone has to go get Calista first and then face Eparlegna, or Abdul has to go get Calista. The first option doesn’t work because I think everyone, Luzurial included, knows that they can’t kill Eparlegna at this point, only force him to use enough power for survivors to escape, so they likely would have been running away from said confrontation and might not have been able to retrieve Calista afterward. The second option would technically work, but delaying long enough to go grab Calista would mean leaving the students in Room 502 to Eparlegna for a few more minutes, and when Luzurial and Kevin do arrive, Hana Moon is about ten seconds from getting raped by a demon. Thanks! I rather liked that line too. I mean, during his rampage before being sealed, I’m sure he raped mothers in front of their children, wives in front of their husbands...at some point, he’d pretty much have to find people begging him to stop either amusing or annoying, and since he’s a sadist I went with “amusing.” Oh, neither would I! I probably would have gotten to “throw the acid at it”, and then run. Yeah...remember how you said in your review of Part Four that people you care about can be used against you? Thanks for reviewing!

So I started work at 6:00 AM yesterday, and given that I’m not generally a morning person, when I lay down on my bed to watch some TV last night, I straight up passed out, which meant I never got around to replying to some things on this thread. No problem, I thought. After all, I just have to respond to one of JayDee’s posts and a review from pippychick. Then, while I was at work today, ALL OF THE REVIEWS HAPPENED. So let’s get to these things! First... Little did we know I was secretly writing a Hellstar Remina crossover. So his name translates to “liver wood.” If I didn’t know it was “angel rape” backwards, I’d swear you were going for a shoutout to The Screwtape Letters. Okay, so I realize now that “Derry” is probably short for Londonderry, but for a minute I thought that meant Father Donal had dealt with Pennywise the Clown. I hadn’t thought of that, but it does totally work! Yeah, that was the idea. Sorry, I should have been clearer. I meant a kiss on the mouth.

In fairness to said instructors, wars are such complex things that you could probably spend an entire semester just discussing one of them, and usually a class has to cover centuries worth of history, so I can see why they tend to simplify things. I imagine, then, that there will be a moment where the characters will have to...#M-420blazeit. I regret nothing! Oh, that happens to all of us. I go through my own story from time to time looking for typos, and I found two of them in my latest chapter just today.

If this was just the first, I am so looking forward to the other ones. I get why you added the Violence tag, though, since that energy blade does some nasty things to human bodies. Okay, that image is hilarious, and yeah, there’s something funny about comparing anything to a pony and then trying to insist that it’s scary, given the inherent cuteness associated with ponies. It’s like describing a giant bug as “a spider the size of a Pomeranian!” If you’re not going for a joke, you should probably just say “dog.” Absolutely, especially in a universe where magic isn’t acknowledged yet. I’m not too familiar with the New Mutants so I’ll have to take your word for it on that one, but it is pretty cool that you gave a shoutout to a lesser known Marvel superhero. Like I said, he doesn’t come across as a villain. In fact, his reaction when he thinks Jennifer is hiding something indicates that Mindeye really does care for the well being of the team. As you said, he’s just kind of shady, kind of like Eagle in that earlier chapter. And yeah, mind control is something that always makes me a little uncomfortable when it’s used in the context of sex and relationships. If I may digress a bit, that was why I liked the main character of The Master Program so much: he actually doesn’t want to abuse the power he’s been granted. I think I like this version better. If she’d just carved McFenna up, she might have ended up in some serious trouble, and I’d imagine she doesn’t want to cause yet another headache for her superiors (especially after the fight in the store). Oh definitely. Of course, I can see why Jennifer waits. It’s cold, as you said, but if her plan is going to work, then McFenna has to be caught in the act in an undeniable way, so she kind of had to let him get started before alerting the other doctors.

Okay, before anything else, I want to try something here, something that will come in very handy when it comes to the Author’s Note for Part Nine: putting most of the AN in a post here and linking to it from the story. Extended Author’s Note (Part Seven): This chapter was late because it went through significant rewrites. The confession scene especially was changed. The original version was more about Luzurial’s general angst and had her far sadder, while the new version focuses on her misguided shame over sex and she’s somewhat angrier at herself. Both end the same way, though, with the discussion of the celibacy decree. You see, back in Whore of Heaven, JayDee had Eparlegna wonder why God would give angels sex organs and then demand that they be celibate. I initially thought it was an anti-religion thing about God being cruel and hypocritical, but when JayDee pointed out that maybe I shouldn’t be taking the rape demon’s word at face value (in hindsight probably something I should have realized…) I then couldn’t stop wondering why. Assuming, as I do, that God isn’t cruel, then I thought that maybe angels (and thus demons) just thought they had to be celibate, because somebody made a mistake. This was why I introduced the Celestial Hierarchy all the way back in Part Three: if God gives decrees to all angels directly, then there can be no mistake, but if there’s a chain of command, then a message might get altered over the many times it changes hands. So JayDee asked why angels have sex organs, and my answer was “so they can have sex.” Speaking of which, I realized that in the original version of the love scene Kevin didn’t have any misgivings about making love to an angel, which felt wrong to me. I remembered that bit from Part Six about how he sometimes feels his attraction to her is almost an insult, and brought that in, with him thinking that he would somehow be degrading something wondrous and beautiful. I thought he might be able to overcome those worries by asking for her permission to cross several “thresholds”, which is where the “May I” bit came from. That and I think there’s something kind of romantic about him asking if he can kiss her. Earlier in the chapter, I mentioned the funniest thing Luzurial had ever heard a leader yell during a battle. Well, the Battle of Dorylaeum took place on July 1, 1097 AD, during the First Crusade. Crusading forces led by Bohemond of Taranto were pinned down by the Seljuk Turks until the forces of several other crusaders were able to pull off flanking attacks to relieve them. After seven straight hours of being pelted with arrows, Bohemond ordered his men to abandon the shield wall they had made, remount their horses and charge the Turkish line. And in this desperate hour, his inspiring “Once more unto the breach, dear friends” line was “Hodie omnes divites si Deo placet effecti eritis!” which translates from the Latin as “Today, if God’s willing, WE’LL ALL BE RICH!” No, seriously, that’s what he said. I don’t imagine God approved of the Crusades, and I imagine Luzurial wouldn’t have either, and was likely feeling rather somber as she watched the battle unfold. However, given that she had fought in scores, maybe hundreds, of battles with nothing less than the fate of creation itself on the line, hearing a battlecry so absurdly materialistic would likely have seemed hilarious. Finally, I had planned for the final confrontation with Eparlegna to take place atop a very tall building, but didn’t have any specifics on what that building would be. Then I had this weird but (to me) kind of amusing idea for a cameo in Part Nine by the Villain Protagonist of another JayDee story (Mike Rapes a Dyke), and asked if I could include it, which led to the VD building.

Oh, I’ll get to it for sure! First, though, I wanted to check out Closing Time, so you’ll get a review on that before I get to Blood and Lace.

You could always do what I did for The Woman in the Statue during our emails and mention jokes you thought of but didn’t use. I’m going to circle back to that in a minute. I know what that feels like. You may recall that WitS was originally only going to be four chapters long. Four very large chapters but still. And now we come back to what I was talking about before. See, reading this didn’t hurt me the way Whore of Heaven or the Lailah corruption scene and its aftermath did, so I’m not writing an SAO. If that Shannon fic ever gets written, it’s going to be by you (I know your response is likely to be something like “then it's not getting written,” but never say never...). No, what I meant by the feels was something completely different. I know WitS is canon, but since you’re the original author, I have a tendency to think of your stories as the “real” stories, or perhaps the “main” stories, the way that Earth-616 is Marvel’s main universe. When the Duchess was, ahem, enjoying thinking about Luzurial’s effectively eternal suffering, it made me kind of sad, but it also gave me this sort of bittersweet hope, only reinforced by Shannon doing a small amount of time as a statue, that there would be some acknowledgment of what Luzurial was going through, some expression of empathy or sympathy for her, in the main stories. I became sad again as it became clearer that wasn’t going to happen; that the only one sparing her a thought would be the Duchess relishing her pain. Again, this is not me pushing. I’m not saying you need to or should include this. You have a plan for how this story is going to go, and I’d feel guiltier than you would believe if I screwed it up, especially since the list of “people who feel really bad for Luzurial” is...a rather short one. I’m just trying to explain myself. I mean, I figured that out a while back. I tend to assume that if I don’t hear back from someone within two weeks, I’m just not going to hear back from them. When I said “on hold indefinitely” I didn’t mean “any minute now...”, but rather “I’m probably not writing this story.” I’m fairly certain the first one’s closest. He left a farewell message on his Literotica profile, and said that while he enjoyed writing for the site, his life was drawn to other things now so he didn’t have time to write for it anymore. The problem with trying to get help in modifying the story is that I would have to pretty thoroughly spoil the villain’s plan to explain where the similarities to TGND begin and end. I could explain it to you via PM or email, but again, that would only be if you didn’t mind spoiling a significant part of the potential story. Finally, I noticed this: Well, shit. I am now legally obligated to do this. *theme music begins* In 2011, a group of four girls was targeted by an undead serial killer and a hillbilly rapist. These girls promptly escaped with extreme prejudice. Today, still wanted by the forces of evil, they survive as a tight-knit group of friends. If you have a problem. If no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...The K-Team. Starring Kizzy “I love it when a plan comes together” Dieudonné Shannon “(will sit on your) Face” MacDuff Kate “Howlin’ Mad” Wilde Lupa “my Boot troubles your Ass” Lopez

And now the first for Part Seven from @JayDee. I actually wanted to have the same “is that Spanish?” running gag that I have with Luzurial’s name, because while “Luzurial” actually contains a Spanish word, “Eparlegna” sounds like a Spanish word that doesn’t exist. For those who don’t recall, or haven’t read the first story, there was this bit after Luzurial landed in the blood-spattered streets of LA that she took to the air again and the blood and filth just kind of fell off of her. I wasn’t sure whether this was an automatic thing or if she had to concentrate on it, but that was her at 100%, which she is not at now, so whether or not it was automatic, now she has to concentrate. I thought her willing the water to just fall off of her was a nice way to reference that, and also to prompt a discussion of how angelic powers work. Thank you. I knew the timeline was going to end up compressed because Eparlegna doesn’t seem like the kind of villain likely to delay his attempt at taking over the world, but I wanted as much time as possible for Kevin and Luzurial to interact back at the motel, so I had to create some sort of delay. I figured that the same way we have designated shelters for hurricanes and other disasters, there might be designated shelters for the eventuality of another Rupture scenario, and damaging their protective magic could explain the delay before the really crazy stuff happens. Sometimes I just have visual images pop into my head and I don’t entirely know where they come from. In this case, the whole scene just started with this image of Luzurial sitting alone by the pool watching the stars, and the scene grew from that. It is a powerful idea, that this is as much of creation as you can see from Earth. Thank you! In the first draft, that was Luzurial being painted by refracted light, but then I realized I was short on Luzurial PoVs for this chapter, and given what happens in the chapter I really needed more from her perspective. I did like the description, though, so I just had her see Kevin that way instead of him seeing her that way. I realized I hadn’t had anything on Cassie and why she was part of the “cult,” which is why I added this scene. I thought about the circumstances under which one might do something really terrible, and retaliating against a bully seemed like a pretty good option. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen, but then when I read about Flauros, and his ability to kill the summoner’s enemies with fire, I had a pretty horrific idea of what I could do. I mean he was also just taking the opportunity to terrorize and slaughter, but I wanted him to be doing a little more than that. He plans in the short term compared to Lucifer, but “short term” does not mean “only thinks five minutes ahead.” I kept wanting to mention this earlier in the story, but I didn’t really get around to it until now, but the idea is that after the confrontation with Chloe in Part Two, word slowly made its way to large religious organizations, and priests, rabbis and imams were all ready to make a pilgrimage to talk to a real angel. Then a demon attacked, and things changed a bit. I actually seized on something from near the end of Whore of Heaven and intend to make use of it. Yeah, I miss that line too. I honestly miss that entire moment when she broke down sobbing and then felt better afterward. Aside from just being the Hurt/Comfortiest thing ever, it also went well with the whole idea of her purging toxic memories, and that letting them out resulted in her sobbing fit, but that after it was over she felt a lot better. However, I really wanted to focus more on her sense of shame, and I did end up with a few new lines I really thought were pretty emotional on that count, specifically the “I said” quoting bit and the “Not if I were human!” That’s one of the things I like about fanfiction: sometimes you get to answer questions the original author never intended you to answer, and you can turn the answer into a story element! I wanted to, but the Author’s Note was at something like 575 words, and I thought there was a hard 600 word limit. And now, of course, the love scene I’ve been building up to since Part One… So this is something that occurred to me at the last minute, but I really wanted in there. While it does highlight the difference between Luzurial’s first sexual experience and her second one, that was just a nice little bonus effect. The reason I wrote it was actually because I wanted to acknowledge the nerves Kevin would have over making love to an angel. Even in a world where angels (of some types, anyway) look like people with wings, that’s not what they are. They’re not just inhuman, they’re more than human, immortal, powerful, wise and kind, living embodiments of divine Good (this is probably part of why I get so depressed whenever something terrible happens to one). Because of that, I couldn’t help but feel that there would be a deep reluctance to touch one sexually, as if to express physical affection for them would be to sully them. I kind of expressed this in the car scene at the end of Part Six, where it’s revealed that Kevin sometimes feels bad about his romantic feelings for Luzurial because he is, well, “only human.” One way I could see to get past this would be to explicitly ask permission for a more intimate form of contact. That was the origin of the “May I?” concept. I was being very deliberate in my word choice when I said he wanted Luzurial’s blessing to cross each threshold. And, honestly, I just thought it was kind of romantic too. That’s another one of those fanfic moments. I realized that at no point in Whore of Heaven does Eparlegna, Shondra or Molly force a kiss on Luzurial, and I thought I could use this, that this might be something she especially enjoys; a gesture of pure affection without any negative connotation. I knew she was going to need to give him the strength boost somehow, and I think originally it was just going to be through a touch (she was going to put her hand on his chest or something like that), but I wanted something that would be both sexy and soothing, and a kiss seemed like it fit the bill, especially since we’d just established how much they both enjoy kissing. I actually briefly entertained thoughts of having them get caught inside of it and have to spend Part Eight evading or fighting sin creatures until Luzurial and company got there, but I realized I liked the idea of them meeting outside the barrier and going in together, so I went with that instead.

Part Seven of WitS is up, so it’s time to respond to some more reviews! First, one from the inimitable @pippychick. It’s kind of a chain reaction, really. Kevin and Abdul are going in to help Calista, and Luzurial can’t very well let the mortals handle this alone, and she can’t just tell them to wait outside because Kevin is not letting her go in there by herself. So they end up stuck together. As for people you care about being used against you, wait for it… Yeah, Stern was dispatched pretty quickly to get to the car thing, which was the image I had in my head for the scene. Sinfulwolf also brought up that the action scene there could stand to be longer, and maybe at some point I’ll extend it somewhat. Thank you! I was going for kind of an eerie feel with the burning city and the dragon flying just out of sight behind the buildings. I don’t know why, but the lack of sound always seemed kind of creepy to me as well. Good luck with rationing! I’m really happy that you’re enjoying the story, though. And thank you for reviewing!

It definitely adds to it. Kris is nervous as she reaches the door, and when you combine that with the gear, and occasional reminders of it… ...the effect is to suggest that perhaps Kris is worried not just about changes to her home, but about changes to herself, fearing perhaps that she may have become someone different, and that it might affect how Sam feels for her, which makes the bath scene a wonderful form of reassurance.

Shannon’s still an angel where it counts, so I suppose it would technically qualify as an SAO. Okay, That’s hilarious. I don’t think you always undercut your drama with comedy. Recall that you shared part of The Fall of Chastia with me, and that was a really emotional piece, so don’t assume I’d write it better than you would. Even if I would somehow write it better than you would, there’s something about reading someone else’s work that just doesn’t come from reading your own. Wait, we’re just leaving Shannon in there? I mean, since this is a prequel to other stories with these characters we know she gets out, but that might be a tale worth telling down the road. That would also be really emotional. Again, I’m sorry if it came across like I was trying to push you into writing anything in your next chapter; I’m really not trying to. This is your story and you should write what you want to. The fact that Luzurial’s suffering became as much of a plot point in this story as it is just gave me the feels again, that’s all. That’s actually a really good point I hadn’t thought of. Well, if Kingmaker711 ever contacts me there freaking will be. I had a villain and evil plan ready to go, but it incorporated a plot element from The Girl Next Door, so I don’t feel comfortable writing it without permission. Since he’s incommunicado, that plan’s on hold indefinitely. On the other hand, if any idea pops into your head down the road, run with it! Roger that. Thanks for announcing that to avoid confusion.

Well, it took an extra week due to rewrites, but Part Seven is finally up! At close to 13,000 words, this is the longest chapter in the story so far (though be warned: Part Nine is very likely to surpass it). Also, this may be where the story completely falls apart for you. Sorry if that happens.

Wait, Guy N. Smith is a personal hero, and there is not one giant mutant crab in this story? You betrayed us all, pippychick! No, seriously though, that’s actually really cool, and I seriously need to finish reading Night of the Crabs at some point. As for the lack of gore being a failure of yours as an author, I don’t think so. Stories don’t need to be gory to work, and in my opinion the buildup here is far more frightening because of what we don’t see. The elemental was terrifying when we couldn’t see it, because while part of me was just imagining a blob of water, another part of me was only half-picturing something else, a terrible, nebulous image that I didn’t want to bring into focus because of what it might look like. In addition, the mention that before he died, George barely resembled anything human, coupled with the “gifts” we’ve seen him receive is replete with uncomfortable possibilities. While I do think that The Price was scarier overall, I think this really worked in its own way. Heck, you may have already learned a lesson from it: how to write from the PoV of someone whose personal philosophy you disagree with.

That’s what it comes down to for me, actually. That, and daydreaming. No, seriously, when I’m at work and I’m bored (my job is not terribly intellectually stimulating), I’ll often end up playing out scenes from my stories in my head, including scenes I haven’t written yet. I don’t always remember the exact details of these daydreams, which is a shame because sometimes I really like the dialogue I come up with, but they do often give me a general outline to work with.

I...actually kind of want to read that. It would be sad, but it would also be comforting somehow to know that somebody outside of The Least I Can Do (which I haven’t even uploaded) actually cares about what happened to Luzurial. I know that sounds odd, but that’s how it is. And I kinda want to see that for exactly the same reason, also because it would be all kinds of dramatic. On the other hand, the 1000 word limit might keep the exchange from being done justice, and seeing as Kizzy did just almost die, it might be a little soon for her to have that conversation. No kidding. I’m guessing it sort of simmers beneath the surface, with Kizzy not wanting to bring it up because she might feel a little guilty (though how much is anyone’s guess) and Shannon not wanting to bring it up because she knows it will make her angry at her friend...though periodically she might end up thinking about Luzurial screaming behind her own eyes and want to bring it up. At any rate, please don’t think I’m trying to dictate what you write in any of your fics. You do you. This is mostly just me venting again. Of course, during this discussion... I do so love Shannon’s pickup lines. Or the passage of time just isn’t synchronized in all universes. So, that’s the other thing I wanted to bring up. You mentioned this: I feel like you had a strong continuity in the Kizurial stories before I accidentally wrecked it by writing The Woman in the Statue, which threw Chapter 3 of The Slumber Party of Evil Doom into canon limbo. If you wanted to lock that down, all you need to do is invoke your authority to de-canonize WitS. My little therapy project goes back to being what it was before, Whore of Heaven fanfiction, and you get continuity back. Eparlegna is reincarnated into Luzurial, who stays in the statue either for 2 undecillion (minimum proton half-life) to 30 tredecillion (maximum proton half-life) years...or until Kizzy decides to let her out. If you want to resolve this in your own way, feel free to declare the story I kept referring to as a non-canon sequel to be a non-canon sequel. Also, between what I’m saying right now, what you said earlier and what pippychick said while responding to my review on The Pollution of George Farrow, I’m starting to think we’re all in some kind of mutual support group for authors with low self-confidence. Don’t break it up, mind you; I need this support group. I’m just pointing it out.

There’s actually an additional aspect to the sadness. Shannon states that this is never to be her home again. While it’s never stated explicitly, it’s implicit in the setting that if demons are fallen angels, then they can redeem themselves. It would explain why Luzurial offered to let Eparlegna leave peacefully in spite of how she must have felt about what he was doing to her mortal charges: erasing him from existence removes whatever tiny chance of redemption he may have (this also adds to the tragedy of Luzurial suffering horribly for being nice), and would explain why the Fallen were exiled instead of killed, since exile allows them to contemplate their mistake and potentially repent. Last but not least, it would mean Kizzy likely scored some points for her ultimate decision not to kill Shannon. So Shannon’s assumption that she can never go home is especially sad because, in spite of her genuinely kind heart, she appears to have assumed that she is beyond redemption. This raises another question. Back in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom, Shannon only recognized Eparlegna as a demon who had wreaked havoc on an alternate Earth, which begs the question: does she know what happened to her commanding officer and mentor? When I said things were going to be awkward when Kizzy got out of the lake, I had meant for that Principality (and also for Jude if he wakes up), but things might get really awkward for Kizzy and Shannon as well. Shannon: What was up with that whole statue thing? Kizzy: You may wish to sit down...

You kidding me? There was a discussion on the nature of divine omniscience and how it relates to morality over on JayDee’s thread! This is nothing. I see it’s time to break this out again: I didn’t mean to imply that there was anything wrong with commissioning art in the abstract, but rather meant to imply that commissioning art from this story would be needy or arrogant on my part. I’ll try and explain in more detail via PM.

Absolutely! I read Comin’ Home, but didn’t feel qualified to leave a review because the story is part of a larger tale I wasn’t familiar with. However, your ability to communicate the emotions of the characters, the sense of a long term relationship and the dislocation felt by someone returning after a long absence was extremely impressive. I haven’t gotten to Blood and Lace yet, but I know you’ve really made an impact with it because I saw in the art room that you have fan art. I know you said it was by a friend, but it means your characters made such an impression that your friend wanted to make those images. If I ever wanted, say, a group picture of Luzurial, Kevin, Abdul and Calista, I’d have to ask for it or commission it, which would be more a show of authorial arrogance and neediness than the display of real love that fan art is.

I think there’s some part of us, deep inside, that never matures past age twelve. And in any case the ”not what I was talking” about joke is one I’ve always enjoyed. It’s probably about the same thing. I mean, to paraphrase, it went like this: Luzurial: Go home and stop hurting these people. Eparlegna: How about no? Luzurial: Well okay then. *draws sword* Speaking of which, that’s another moment of yours in the “Luzurial is awesome” category, to the point that I honestly got kinda mad when she stepped into the trap immediately afterward and he laughed at her. I was all “Stop laughing at her; she was being badass!” But, you know, needs of the genre and all. Just to be clear, I’m not saying it’s worse than damnation (because obviously it isn’t), and I suppose it fits a certain definition of “free.” You can’t very well be upset about not existing if you don’t exist...but the idea of it is terrifying (again, for people who believe in the afterlife). It’ll be up Wednesday morning. Still worried about it, but I’ve reached a painful acceptance that the problem isn’t one I can fix. Well, my first thought would be outer space, where if she transforms and radiates like a solar flare it won’t cause a mass extinction, but that’s a bit of a simple solution. The second option, though...I don’t know if Shannon has a pass to get back in there yet...

You’re very kind to keep giving me the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t think I deserve it. I’m trying to handle the story element as best I can, but ultimately I don’t know that I can do it well. I’m not saying it can’t be done well; I know it can. I just don’t think I’m talented enough to do so. Part Seven should be up Wednesday morning, so we’ll have a better idea then, but I apologize in advance. You’re an amazing author, SinfulWolf, and I’m sorry if I disappoint you.

I fear you may have overstated there, but as it happens you did sum up my feelings throughout the last chapter of Whore of Heaven. You can look at my review of Part Three for the full explanation, but the TL;DR version is that I started at “this woman needs a hug” and ended at “Ooooooh God someone please hug her now.” Which, of course, is why this story exists. Its alternate title could pretty much be “Hugs for Luzurial.” Like I said, I’m kind of emotionally sensitive. Don’t worry; it wasn’t supposed to be obvious. Never actually seen Fallen, though Denzel is awesome in pretty much everything.