Thundercloud

I agree about the odds of getting reviews from regular visitors, but I think the probabilities for getting reviews from other authors are better and these are more inclined to go investigate an authors profile than regular readers. Afterall I four months back had not visited AFF like in a decade and now I think I have checked quite a few of your fics….I did not scroll through pages from the front screen to find them.
I would say that trying to reform a demon is a pretty sure way to make sure he is in for some shit. It seem plausible that that he might succeed eventually, but you have a enormous opportunity for coming up with stories when he alternate between failing and failing hard. 
The trouble is really that I have all these ideas for good scenes, but times fly by with me unable to get time to do proper writing.
Sounds like great fun.

Let’s hope there are more reviews eventually, the story deserves it.
She could play the “do this small thing for me and I will not mess with this mortal”-gambit. There is also the “you care about this character, if you don’t do this little small thing for me I will temporary release this fallen soul to cause them misery”-gambit. You must not make too easy for Jude...
Give me a half year or so…WtMC has only about 6 pages done while next chapter of CENtD are mostly done but have a few scenes that refuse to play along so it will take a lot time before they go online.
In the mean time...if you got time to spare I do have   story posted with the name  Anor Don Masin: Tales of Deception. It just like 10k words and considering what kind of story codes you put on your stories it would be interesting to hear what you think about this PWP story.
I hope it will be something interesting. Not everything you do is of my liking, but those things that I do like I enjoy very much.

Let’s hope there are more reviews eventually, the story deserves it.
She could play the “do this small thing for me and I will not mess with this mortal”-gambit. There is also the “you care about this character, if you don’t do this little small thing for me I will temporary release this fallen soul to cause them misery”-gambit. You must not make too easy for Jude...
Give me a half year or so…WtMC has only about 6 pages done while next chapter of CENtD are mostly done but have a few scenes that refuse to play along so it will take a lot time before they go online.
In the mean time...if you got time to spare I do have   story posted with the name  Anor Don Masin: Tales of Deception. It just like 10k words and considering what kind of story codes you put on your stories it would be interesting to hear what you think about this PWP story.
I hope it will be something interesting. Not everything you do is of my liking, but those things that I do like I enjoy very much.

I agree it gets more interesting in this kind of story when doing it confession style. There are a number of similarities between you story and my own Carmen Elisa story and the mood and style of the main characters retelling the story is one of those similarities.
I think she had it coming… ;-)

Could not Kizzy getting Shannon free be a story of its own...or are they needed in the current story?

I think you have the possibility of quite funny dialogue when Kizzy gets Shannon free...

Could not Kizzy getting Shannon free be a story of its own...or are they needed in the current story?

I think a possible way to explain it would be that even though an angel has incredible ability to recover from injury their very nature also makes them more susceptible to suffer from rapes. You could probably extend the concept to that angels gain courage and power from virtues and are easily hurt by sins.
What kind level of competency are we to expect of minions of Eparlegna...
The problem with comms SNAFU would IMHO be that it would be really weird if agent Chloe did not follow up with the National Guard about the bad agents. I would assume that tracking what Hobbs might have ordered is kind of essential if you have second Rapturee coming. Actually speaking about that...who actually sent the list in the first place? Until the latest chapter I thought that Kevin sent the list to Chloe based on Luzurials mindreading, but now it was suddenly the reverse. It makes sense that Kevin still has the list on his phone and need to check it since he has not memorized the names, but the current double messages about who wrote the list is confusing.

I think you have the possibility of quite funny dialogue when Kizzy gets Shannon free...

I think a possible way to explain it would be that even though an angel has incredible ability to recover from injury their very nature also makes them more susceptible to suffer from rapes. You could probably extend the concept to that angels gain courage and power from virtues and are easily hurt by sins.
What kind level of competency are we to expect of minions of Eparlegna...
The problem with comms SNAFU would IMHO be that it would be really weird if agent Chloe did not follow up with the National Guard about the bad agents. I would assume that tracking what Hobbs might have ordered is kind of essential if you have second Rapturee coming. Actually speaking about that...who actually sent the list in the first place? Until the latest chapter I thought that Kevin sent the list to Chloe based on Luzurials mindreading, but now it was suddenly the reverse. It makes sense that Kevin still has the list on his phone and need to check it since he has not memorized the names, but the current double messages about who wrote the list is confusing.

I mean afterwards...did she still had the buttplug in her when traveling to heaven with the bodies?
I suppose it could be part of the basque she transforms into a dress...or she still uses the buttplug while visiting heaven….or she gave the buttplug to Kate even if this was not explicitly mentioned.
Kind of classical, but it works.
I was thinking about stories where elves get upset about loosing an elven soul...if you intend to live forever then you really need to think about not loosing tiny bit after tiny bit of yourself.
It was no problem really, I just thought it worth to mention.

Good that you liked the action. The Violence tag for the story is very much for the occasions when Jennifer lets her wild side loose and this is the first major one.
Actually I at one point considered to avoid using the word werewolf at all before be reveal in this chapter...but it felt kind of silly with referring to a talking wolf and just using wolf didn’t fit either. A bit like authors try to explain that a werewolf is very dangerous and large by comparing it to a pony and I cannot help giggling each time since I think of a pony dressed in a werewolf costume.

Eventually I decided that it seemed plausible that Fang would insist of using her real race name and modern people would still assume she was scientific experiment rather than the true deal. Naming her as werewolf is also a hint towards people that are Wolfsbane fans that the story eventually will feature such elements. Of course if you ask me Fang do have interesting powers and does pack a much more powerful super hero punch than the marvel hero that I found interesting but irritatingly weak.
You make some pretty good comments about serious implications of using psionics on other people. This is a theme that I can promise will be dealt with more detail in upcoming chapters. Mindeye is kind of shady but also built a reputation as super hero after going after the really bad psionics that are out there. There are few characters in the story that will not eventually have face the consequences of their actions.
A minor enemy, but very well deserved ending. The first version of the text actually had Jennifer making here first idea about mutilation of private parts real...but then I decided that it was better to show off Jennifer’s coldness as she plan her revenge. All I can say is poor girl...

I think chapter 1 is actually pretty solid as standalone story. Chapter two as bridge to a future chapter would also work, but when it ends after chapter two it feels more like a fragment..

No need to give explicit credit for that beyond this forum post, but I appreciate the gesture.

I think chapter 1 is actually pretty solid as standalone story. Chapter two as bridge to a future chapter would also work, but when it ends after chapter two it feels more like a fragment..

No need to give explicit credit for that beyond this forum post, but I appreciate the gesture.

No problem. If you want the fix the issue you can copy the text, remove the review and then repost with the spoiler tag in the right place.

I did earlier with one of my reviews of your work when the interface misbehaved and posted my not really finished line about secondrate buffy villains. I just removed and reposted with the more proper explanation of my thought but JayDee did ninja me and saw the review before I removed it.

I should probably not answer how many demon summoning individuals there are in the story.
By the way...it would be nice if you consider to start some of your reviews with the spoiler tag. I don’t mind it very much, but for a new reader wondering if they should read the story and checking the reviews they might want a warning that the review reveal a large plot point. I do the same mistake myself quite often, hopefully it is for minor things but in this case I think the spoiler tag is called for.
I don’t recall if I thought about the double joke when I wrote it,  but I certainly get it now. The whole exchange is meant to be funny so good that you laughed.
Actually I think you mean Clark’s Third law and not his First law. The first law is the one about the scientist if I recall correctly. If think the twist is possible to guess at the start of the story when we learn that the aliens dissolve into nothing when defeated, but it is kind of subtle in the middle of the action.
Great catch. I will fix it. Thanks for the assistance.

I think one of the appeals with your writing this sequel is that you care so much about the characters. This heroic chapter is certainly setting things up for having the upcoming defeat really mean something for the reader. If you pull it off is of course not given, but I am really looking forward to it.

I think one of the appeals with your writing this sequel is that you care so much about the characters. This heroic chapter is certainly setting things up for having the upcoming defeat really mean something for the reader. If you pull it off is of course not given, but I am really looking forward to it.

Obviously any chapter with more than 12000 words is lots of work...but the troublee is also getting the characters right. I seldom write fanfiction since I hate when characters go out of character. In some senses With the Mirror Came.. gives me the same feeling. When I discover I have written a bad line for one of main characters it feels kind of betrayal and my flow is disturbed.

I also like that kind of secret touching scenes. In this particular case I decided to run with the idea even if the foot part felt kind of silly since  I wanted to show John how immature he is. He is taking a big risk for very little reward just because he cannot control his urges.
Mikaela in an earlier discussion with Ronja  revealed that she intended to end the black mailing since she thought Ronja was would soon stop care about any nudes spread around. Ronja take this as a threesome is safe without considering the danger Maria is placed in...it will be fun when she realize her mistake.

As for what Mikaela understand about Ronja there I have not really decided. Maybe she could take the view that Ronja must be masochistic because she obviously push herself on even when she seems to be really suffering, Maybe I should let Mikaela reveal that observation during the a talk with Maria…I need to give it a thought.
I am actually in middle of deciding if shall continue with the theme about Jonathan abusing her or if I shall focus on other things. Jonathan messing around has been great fun, but I have been using Jonathan rather heavily for some chapters so perhaps now could be a time for him to restrain himself after realizing how he has messed up.
Pretty much that he trusts Roy...on the other hand there is also the question of how many woman he knows that Roy would trust. Eventually he will of course realize that it was Ronja that offered herself to him...
Interesting observation about the tone of the ending. This is basically the first chapter when I did not align the ending with a sex scene and it might be true that this combined with the Ronja’s thoughts drag the mood down. Possibly this might explain why this chapter has been kind of slow to attract attention.

As for the upcoming chapter 7 you must not expect it to appear in the near future. With the Mirror Came.. is the one of my stories that take most time to write and each chapter takes months. Unless I find something more interesting to write in the meantime then chapter 7 will take quite many months. Probably it will be me collecting ideas slowly until I must start writing.

A fun fact by the way is that I recently read an article in the paper about people living in the building of the asylum from the first chapter. The planned reconstruction of the building has thus during my work on the story actually been finished and people live there now. The train tunnel from a later chapter is also opened by now. If I get around of them doing more urban exploring I need to decide about taking them to exciting sites that exist today or if I should research places that existed five years ago when the story begun.

Actually the reason the US is so often target for demonic invasions is probably due to not having switch to metric…

Actually the reason the US is so often target for demonic invasions is probably due to not having switch to metric…

I kind of agree that the concept of the Judge is pretty cool, on the other hand I think Buffy is pretty much on spot when she names him a smurf. :-)

It is actually kind of interesting to consider the similarities in story building with the Judge and Warren. Both are promoted as bad guy of the season but in the end it is just a diversion and they are suddenly removed from the game as the real big bad of the season makes his/her appearance.
I also agree that InBrightestDay is doing great at capturing the essence of JayDees Eparlegna demon.  This discussion makes me think on Battlestar Galatica that builds much on catch phrase that the Cylons have a plan and kept people guessing about what the plan was. After the series finished the show runners admitted they did not have the Cylon plan figured out and just used the notion of the secret plan to give the show a tense setting.

The lesson to learn from this is probably that for a story where the readers/viewers perspective is limited you don’t need to figure out all details of the bad guy to tell the story. Your Eparlegna demon is in some senses in the other camp from the mysterious plan when he acts the perfect meglomanic that does not seem to have a good plan, but where you can still use the had-anticipated-the-heroes-move-and-had-a-trap-planned ploy when it looks like the heroes are about to succeed.