Wilde_Guess

Thanks again for your kind words. When I was growing up, I actually knew a pair of brothers involved in such a relationship, though not well. As for the facial expression and voice tone, that is part of what I need to work on, for all of the characters. I have started to do this, but I do need o work much harder on that for this story.

Arian-Sinclair wrote a review to Chapter 1. Arian-Sinclair, I had not seen the term “demisexual” before I read your review. Yet, at least as far as homosexual attraction goes, it fits both of the Dvorak boys, particularly Danny. Out of the ten school-age protagonists, only ONE is actually a “full bisexual.” However, out of those same ten, only two will have exclusively heterosexual encounters. Those two will only have one partner each, and they are NOT partnered with each other. I will need to “improve” the descriptions of Danny’s tone of voice and inflections. While he is not quite as expressive of emotions as Michael, he does express as well as feel the full range of emotions, whether in private conversation or otherwise. The comparison that keeps coming to mind for me would be to compare Danny to Robert De Niro and Michael with Joe Pesci Thanks.

It took a while, but I received my first review, which I will respond to in the next message. Author: Wilde_Guess Title: Riding the Lincoln Way Summary: Danny Dvorak is a 14 year old Harley fanboy and honors student getting ready to start Lincoln Way Central High School in New Lenox, Illinois, in the summer of 1982. He has silver eyes, a silver tongue, and his issues have issues. His almost 14 year old brother and classmate has turned from closest friend to something else entirely. His new girlfriend has more issues than he does, and her younger sister is dating his younger brother. Will Danny make it through adolescence and High School without getting bad grades, a haircut, or the spanking of a lifetime? The story is currently ‘slow-paced’ because a lot of things are happening around Danny. The pace will pick up. Feedback: Feedback and constructive criticism much appreciated. Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: Abuse Anal Bi HJ HC Inc MF MiCD Minor1 Minor2 MM Oral Rim Solo Spank Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered story, 12 of ?? URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108829 Thanks.

37959

Chapter 16 is now posted.

In canon, Petunia and Lily were the only two sisters. What if they were only the youngest two? Instead of Aunt Petunia, he goes to live with his Aunt Hyacinth Bucket which she pronounces ‘Bouquet,’ thank you very much. Rules: All Waltons become Evanses. “Daddy” is still senile and widdowed, which is why Harry couldn’t stay with him. All of Harry’s aunts and uncles will appear in the story, including Petunia and Vernon. Sheridan Bucket is born in July of 1980, and is a muggle-born wizard who will attend Hogwarts with Harry. He and Harry will not be spoiled or abused. They will get along with each other at least as well as normal siblings. They will get far more guidance from Richard Bucket than from Hyacinth. Hyacinth likes magic and loathes Petunia, despite Petunia’s being married to a Managing Director of a largish company as in canon. Hyacinth knows Snape, and loathes him ‘now’ even more than Petunia. She was previously indifferent to him, and accepts that Snape’s feelings for Lily were genuine. Harry grows up knowing some things about the Wizarding World, but not others. He knows his birth parents were murdered by magical terrorists, but not that he’s the “Boy Who Lived,” as the biggest example. Richard actually likes gardening with Harry and Sheridan, but only to take a break from Hyacinth for a while, and to show the “Bitch and Bastard Dursleys” what a garden should look like. Hyacinth should, but doesn’t have to maintain “physical intimacy” with Richard, just to give him a break. Any rating is good, but no crack romantic or erotic pairings, such as Harry/any Death Eater, bigot, or adult. Non-crack but non-canon pairings, including Harry/Sheridan or Harry/Sheridan/Ron, or Hermione/Ginny, etc are fine. Can anyone out there help Harry in “Keeping Up Appearances?”

I’ve done some editing and revising on Chapters 14 and 15, including adding short driving lessons, and moving a day from Chapter 14 to 15.

I’ve done some editing and revising on Chapters 1 and 2, to improve readability and story flow. Chapter 16 should be up later in the week.

Chapter 15, “June Bride Again,” is now posted.

Here’s a sneak preview from a near but not next future chapter. ___________________________________________________________________ Michael looked sternly at Debbie, who replied with “He told me ages ago, Michael. You know what a jealous bitch I am, and you haven’t seen me freak out on him, have you?” Michael stood up, hugged her, and gave her a ‘heavy-R’ kiss which she returned. He told her, “You aren’t a bitch, and never will be.” She asked in return, “You said nothing about jealous?” He quipped, “Because I won’t lie to you. You are getting better, kinda…” She huffed, and they kissed again

If a story becomes a series without plans to continue on, it can stagnate rather easily. I don’t think that the creator of Batman thought the series would still be in ‘original publication’ almost eighty years after the first issue hit the news-stands. Cubby Broccoli’s daughter had to reboot James Bond because people were no longer willing to suspend their disbelief of an early-Cold-War licensed assassin continuing to work when the daughter of the King who first commissioned him was a white-haired grandmother and the sons of the Prime Ministers who had that duty had died of old age. Whether by accident or design, the Star Trek and Star Wars universes were open-ended and broad enough to allow for countless stories and adventures.

One needs look nor further than real life to find every type of “villain” you could desire. From the sociopath, to the eternally greedy, to the hypocrite, to the fanatic, to the horrifically misguided, they’re all there. Even honest and honorable people can find themselves on opposite sides of a “front” in a “conflict,” where absent that conflict they would share meals and be friends with each other. In writing, just like in real life, every villain has their place.

I am now up to chapter 14, with additional warnings, and a new major character. Thanks.

37807

I tried to post the same story in “Currently Reading” and “Recommended Reading,” posting in “Currently Reading” last. The story “vanished” from recommended reading. Did I do something wrong, is this a bug, or is this a “feature?” Thanks in advance.

It might also make an interesting plot-line for a story in its own right, too. “Alvin and his boyfriend Buford thought they were hiding their torrid relationship while going to Wacko State in Texas. Until Alvin grabbed the wrong thumbdrive for his creative-lit class and uploaded the story to the school server without reading it first...

You would know your personal circumstances far better than I. You should also be as “comfortable” with your publisher as they are with you, at least in my opinion. If your publisher does not want your work for the reasons you described, their printing your work might actually be WORSE for you than not. If your work was published by such a publisher, and the Westboro Baptists or others of their ilk came after you, you would truly know what “loneliness” feels like when they “cut and run.”

Exactly. I would guess that part of the issue would depend on how much of the “action” is portrayed directly, and how it’s presented.

One possibility that might be available for some is to take a “Creative Writing” class at their local community college. This will at least enhance your core writing skills as well as potentially give you a “pool” of “peer-reviewers.” If the Professor is a good one, and likes your work, you may also find at least some editing help, provided the Professor believes his time is not being wasted. Desiderius Price, with all the pure muck, trash, and hell that comes “over the transom” at any good literary agency or publishing house, an author needs whatever advantage they are able to find to “make the cut” to their editors. While actually hiring and paying an editor would be a substantial if not extreme commitment to the quality of your work, finding fellow writers who are willing to invest the time into YOUR work, and whose work is at least as good as if not better than yours can also get the quality up high enough. Of course, your work may not be “accessible” enough for commercial publishing, but that is a separate issue. BronxWench, You have made it. You have been published on the merit of your writing alone, without having to pay MONEY on top of the work of writing itself. As an author, you spend as much time promoting your work as you do creating and editing it. The biggest difference between a “vanity” publisher and a “conventional” one is who owns the three cases of books in the back of your car as you go from bookstore to swap-meet to convention trying to get people to buy your book. The publisher always pays themselves first. Since I don’t have a “signature file” handy, I guess I’ll put something amusing below manually. “Tito’s Vodka—because everyone knows you drink vodka for the flavor.”

I have no problem with “self-publishing.” It also used to be called “vanity publishing,” and for good reason. While I might possibly go that route, or at least won’t refuse to do so, I will NOT publish anything where money is involved without a DAMN GOOD editor getting my work up to it’s best. If I were to submit a work to a literary agency, publishing house, etc; I would have it edited FIRST just to have a “fighting chance” with THEIR editors. I don’t currently have a “beta reader,” but that is more by happenstance than choice. And, I’m still chasing the occasional missed word, doubled punctuation, and so on. Which gets back to the original point of the thread, I suppose. Quality feedback is important, especially on a site like this.

I find that it is as much the “quality” as the “quantity” that matters in reader feedback and “peer review.” I have also not tried for ‘paying” publication of my fiction material. A GOOD editor will help the writer produce their best possible work, and grow as a writer. As for “here,” I’m not completely sure the readers are getting past the first chapter, since I’ve yet to receive a review. None of my chapters are short. The story was originally going to be a “one-shot” set in a nebulous “here” instead of its actual setting. However, as I wrote, I began asking questions about my two first protagonists, and writing answers to those questions. While I like favorable reviews from almost anyone, I tend to review the work as well as the “sense” in any critical reviews. A writer who can actually write has much more standing than one whose work is itself tedious and unreadable. I am writing here in part to grow my skills as a writer, and to do that, one needs feedback.

Author: Wilde_Guess Title: Riding the Lincoln Way Summary: Danny Dvorak is a 14 year old Harley fanboy and honors student getting ready to start Lincoln Way Central High School in New Lenox, Illinois, in the summer of 1982. He has silver eyes, a silver tongue, and his issues have issues. His almost 14 year old brother and classmate has turned from closest friend to something else entirely. His new girlfriend has more issues than he does, and her younger sister is dating his younger brother. Will Danny make it through adolescence and High School without getting bad grades, a haircut, or the spanking of a lifetime? The story is currently ‘slow-paced’ because a lot of things are happening around Danny. The pace will pick up. Feedback: Feedback and constructive criticism much appreciated. Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: Abuse Anal Bi HJ HC Inc MF MiCD Minor1 Minor2 MM Oral Rim Solo Spank Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered story, 12 of ?? URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108829 Review Reply thread: https://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/66392-riding-the-lincoln-way-review-response-and-author-commentary/