Tcr

That would be in general for me. Knowing there's hints to me means I've got to find them and I usually end up ruining the experience... I don't read mysteries because of that. But finding them in there as you're reading, strangely doesn't ruin anything... I'm weird, I know.

In my regards, no. I like finding them, even after the fact. Take yours, if you hadn't said anything and peppered hints (or, like DP said, red herrings) throughout until a final realization... That would be something I'd go back and figure... As it stands right now, what you have in yours is a good way to start it. It's not obvious and can be built upon as the chapters develop.

Okay, lot of questions here... Let's get cracked <breaks finger while cracking>. Damn, been a bit… Personally, I like the subtle hints peppered throughout. When they all come back around at the end and you can look back and go, wait a second!" When reading, that's part of the fun. As for too subtle, I think everyone has a different interpretation of subtle and how much or little is required. While I'm sure I'll have tomatoes thrown, there are some people who don't read for the hints. Personally speaking, I don't always. (Put down the pitchforks!) I know people who read mysteries just because they like the author... And others will actively try to solve it before the character does... (One where I used to work would be reading a James Patterson with a notebook next to her, taking notes...) On a personal level, again, I can only say that I prefer not knowing a clue and solving or being surprised at the end... Like you, that's part of the fun. Hints are good (although I probably wouldn't have figured things out on The Divine Hand without a little prodding... Hopefully that comes around a little more...) All that incoherent rambling aside, best advice I can give, write what you want to read. If you like having hints strewn throughout, go for it. If you do, someone else will too.

Chapter Ten’s posted. A little bit of a detour, but hopefully it works well enough… Maybe… Oh well, leave a comment, review, questions… Always willing to get back to my readers .

Come Hell or High Water Chapters V and VI: Thank you, CR. (Ch 5) This started off interesting. You do the conversation between the officers well, and your dialogue is clearly inspired by something you are passionate about. That being said, it does start to drag a little. There's a bit too much technical discussion going on that lulls your pacing and takes me out of the story. Once the meeting ended. though, I started to enjoy it again. I really like the end in the bridge. It was an excellent way to close off the chapter with a subtle cliffhanger. And throughout the chapter, Kyla's character and reactions have been strong and interesting, so with the exception of what I already bitched about, it was a good installment. I was worried that the briefing would drag on (apparently it did…), so apparently still a little left to learn in editing. As for the passionate side, well, if you’re not going to be passionate about what you write, right? Technical discussions, yeah… There’s that passionate side coming through… The urge to show off the passion and creativity as well as blending real world with the universe created. (I guess I need to stem some of that, eh?) I tried to make it so that the morality of right and wrong was blurred so drastically because of the betrayal that, while trying to keep the sense of duty and honour they had been trained in the Stellar Navy and Confederation Marine Corps (Jacs and the rest of the 16th Company), there was no real black and white anymore (something you kind of commented on in the next chapter). Thus, the pros and cons sides were supposed to have good points either way, with Kyla being the tipping point. (Ch 6) First couple scenes are really good. You start this chapter super strong and plunge right into the suspense, then excitement. I really felt the weight of Kyla's hard decision and the possibility that her crew might not approve - maybe even turn hostile about it - even though she's acting in their best interests, the difference between right and wrong is so beautifully obscured. The boarding is pretty exciting. I mean we know Lopez set something up, but we don't know what so that lends some nice tension to the reading experience. Last scene is just awesome. Nuff said. I’m glad you thought the hook was adequately placed, so to speak. :). I wasn’t sure how well it would all flow together and I’m glad to see that it did so well. I wasn’t sure if Kyla’s decision came across as difficult for her as it should have and the other side of the equation, Alan Carver, was meant as her literary foil.

“No Surrender! No Retreat!” Well, this was a little unexpected. I wasn’t sure this would garner any real attention, having only a hundred views. It was a fun experience to write something for the Dribs challenge, but I wasn’t thinking anyone would come to it and review it. Then, suddenly, here’s one… So… Thank you, Pittwitch, for the review. Wow, that was intense. Well-written, disturbing which I'm sure was your intent. Good job with the prompt words. I’m glad everything went across as intended. Much of the Eastern Front was a Hell Zone and I tried to get much of that feeling into the oneshot in such a short time. (I admit, the line with ‘Finesse’ was probably the one line I like the most of the prompt words… But, writer’s indulgence…)

Chapter Nine is up. Feel free to ask questions or make comments. I’m always excited to answer them.

Well, I’d know, but yeah… Someone reading it would probably be like: ‘My God… Not going there again’. Good thing I know you a little better than that ;). And fine… “Bad, bad Rupaul! Bad!” You’re very welcome, CR. Like I said, I’m surprised I was the first to review. It IS a great oneshot.

Like Mister Luflaraoisjd?  Oh, wholeheartedly agree. Mont Rouge sounds better that Red Mountain... Versaute Berg sounds a little better than Kinky Mountain... Although, I'd love to see the description there . Oh, and CR, thanks... Now I have the urge to watch Jurassic Park...

Well, I don't have much of a problem naming most places, thanks to the majority of those posted being in contemporary times. However, that said, for a few (one I don’t have posted and the other being Come Hell or High Water), I understand. In my case, for those, I fall back to old naming conventions, historical, or myths. Such as, for example, if I'm writing about a mountain and I describe it as looking red in the sunset, that may give it it's name (to use your example, Red Mountain), a city on a different planet may take its name from its location (For example, a city on Mars by the Gusev Crater may be named Gusev City, not exactly original, but then how many bloody Victoria cities are in the world? Or Lincolns? Berlins?). There are quite a few examples of a lack of originality when it comes to naming, whether to honour or simply out of euphoria. So, don't worry about repeating something (in my opinion... Although the chairs are moving again...) Of course, there's always trying to get it to fit. A throwaway line of Gerganbalia can be fine (although, who was drunk that day?), but it's probably not something one wants to write constantly. Many old naming conventions weren't exactly the greatest of creations... Many were simple descriptors (Red Mountain, Devil’s Mouth, Chimney Rock...et cetera...) So that could be something to think of, too. Apologies for the ramble... TCR

Lol. Blame CR, eh? You do have your own style, unique and colourful as you, yourself are.

I think the superhero in itself is a deus ex. However, you have a point, there are times and places for which it works (and, on many occasions within those that you’ve mentioned, I’m more than certain that they would work. I do admit, the comedy deus ex is probably a more well known idea, since, like you said, not taking itself seriously.) I did overlook some of those in my thoughts, too, so… There’s a point. I never did like the ‘in-the-nick-of-time’ ideas, even in the distant past where I knew little of writing but would bury my head in books… It was also so, disappointing and, to me, felt cheap in that regards. When I started writing, I couldn’t bring myself to use the deus ex, so I tried carefully to get my characters around, maneuver them into avoiding needing that assistance. Albeit, I’m sure someone could point out a few scenarios within mine that I have posted that present as a deus ex, probably the same ones that prompted this. I do have to say, there was a novel I read a couple years ago, can’t remember the name right now (...), but they actually played with the idea of the deus ex. Not meant to be a comedy, I don’t think… (Maybe I was reading it wrong...) But, they constantly had their characters saved by extraordinary situations, but, at the end, when you think it’s supposed to… It just didn’t happen. So, it could potentially work if you get the reputation during that particular story, then throw it to the wind and go ‘Ha, ha!’

Chapter 9 is posted.

Recently, I’ve been reading over some of my own work, both stuff I’m editing in hopes of publishing and what I’m writing on here, and have found a few situations that could be considered a Deus Ex Machina. In the ones I’ve been reading around here, I haven’t come across it. That said, I have been reading and watching various things of late where the Deus ex would seem to be making a comeback. Anyone who knows what the Deus ex is, please skip the next paragraph as I clumsily explain what the Deus ex Machina is... (Feel free to throw tomatoes at me for this explanation...) I’m assuming everyone knows what the Deus ex actually is, but, for the sake of everyone understanding (in case someone doesn’t)... In a nutshell, this is the ‘God from the machine’ device where the seemingly unsolvable problem is suddenly and abruptly resolved by the introduction of a sudden, ‘inspired’, or god-like intervention. This is where the hero is surrounded by the enemy, back against a cliff, with no way out, everything looking grim, then, suddenly, the cavalry shows up and chases them off. I, personally, try very hard to avoid using this device for one reason. (Okay, I hear the chairs moving, put them down before you throw them at me... For a moment, please...) On a personal and, in many ways, stylistic approach, I find using the Deus ex to be a lazy piece of storytelling. (Okay, that lemon bouncing off the head hurt.... Hey, so did that lime!) Yes, I do understand, there are some points in time where this has happened in reality (ie: the sinking of the USS Indianapolis and rescue of her crew), but, for the most part, it just doesn’t happen. So, now I’m wondering, does anyone actually use the Deus ex for theirs? Am I simply reading minority ideas and am, therefore, in the minority? Thoughts on the idea of the Deus ex?

Chapter Eight is up. Though I mention it in the A/N… A special thanks and shout out to Sweetmamajama, who helped out with a few phrases within the chapter.

Seven’s up to read. Questions, comments, don’t be afraid to leave a review with them and I’ll answer in the review thread .

Chapter Six is posted. Hope everyone’s enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it.

Chapter Five is up.

Axes

Branch

Occupation

Come Hell or High Water Chapter I through IV Thanks, DA, for the reviews. So, from DirtyAngel: LOL pretty good. Were some syntax errors but nothing that detracted form the story. I liked it so far, just finished chapter 1. Oh and yes, everyone is transfixed by boobs bra covered or not LOL This is really good and there really aren't very many grammer mistakes. I'm waiting for 5 now Firstly, thanks for reading and taking the time to review ;). Glad you liked it. I’m also glad that at least none of my errors detracted from the reading, so that’s a good. Every so often I notice things myself that are screaming after I post them and, while I should go back over and fix them… Well, no excuse… lol. This also goes for the grammatical errors involved to… Been noticing a lot of missed stuff… And yes, boobs… Everyone is transfixed by boobs… Chapter Four: From CloverReef: Thanks again. Glad to see that lack of beta hasn’t driven everyone away ;). The relationship between Zara, Zakari and Jordin is amusing. They seem really close. So there was an odd moment when Zara had to explain to them why she joined. They seemed like they'd been friends for a while, so should already know that. But maybe they just met and just really clicked? Oh well, either way, I look forward to seeing more from that trio. Zara's lil argument with herself was adorable btw, and her ex is a bitch - she said so herself - so why would she even want to make anything up to her? Oh, and I'm totally shipping Jordin and Zakari. The little encounter at the end was my favourite part. I'm getting all atwitter! The fun stuff's about to commence, now ain't it?! The back and forth banter was a little troublesome, so I’m glad it all worked out in the end. I wrote the line about her hating the travel with the idea in mind that the three of them getting together was not a common occurrence (especially with them usually being in differing places; ie. Zara in London, Zakari likely in Saskatchewan (as I hope was adequately implied), and the idea that Jordin would be in Louisiana. I guess that could have been explained a little more and doesn’t really satisfy against the oddity of it, either… Hmmm… Well damn…) I thought the argument was good way to add in the (fictional) ‘11’d out’ and give a bit of an explanation without forcing a lot of exposition in there. (See? I’m learning! ). As for the ex… Yeah, there’s a few other words I’d use, but bitch sums it up fairly...nicely? With regards to shipping Jordin and Zakari, yeah, that was the intention in implications . So, glad that worked, too . Oh, yeah, fun’s a-coming.

Inmates