thismy

The counseling scene did seem very real and intense. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was very well done, and part of the reason why it is, I think, one of my favorites. The idea of it being the "Rhona saga" seems plausible. I agree across the board on your points here.

Phew. That really was a fantastic, and I mean fantastic, chapter. I say it a lot, but I'm inclined to agree that it was one of the finest. The character development with Jack and Kayla was amazing. I really enjoyed the scene with the shrink. I'm still wondering if Fitzsimmons is the old familiar face. Again, I find it funny that I just skimmed the sex scene. Not that I don't enjoy them, but as so many people here have said, I'm way beyond coming for the sex. It was good "make-up sex" though. I feel like it was another block of the emotional bond being fixed. Jack still has his hang out with Tara, so there's still emotions to come. (I think). My last point, I love the foreshadowing. Its been hinted at all throughout the summer saga. : ""Thanks," Kayla chirruped, happy. "Nice, relaxing year, right?" "Right!" Belle said, sighing, "Thank God." Oh, if we had only known" Love it! I can't wait to see what's in store next.

Happy Birthday 🎉🎊

O the humanity! I went back, finally, and actually read through the chapter. That was brutal. Hard to get through, I had to grit my teeth and buckle down. Kayla was her usually revolving door self... open, closed, open, closed... The six messages seemed a little overbearing. What are you gonna do, I guess. Even if Jack had responded, a similar argument still would have happened. It was a perfect storm. I think a proper title for that day in Jack's life would be "The Day Jack Went Full Idiot" So is Fitzsimmons the old familiar face? It would make sense.

I once had a friend of mine who I "almost dated" dismiss one of my comments saying "yeah right, I know you." The thing is, she didn't know much about me at all. Those words pissed me off to no end when she said them. For some reason I can't explain, they're ringing through my mind tonight, making me quite angry. I'm seething, really. Hopefully I'm able to channel these emotions into something intelligible for a few different scenes. I considered writing something about Jack being angry at Kayla, like during their fight, but it just isn't Jack anger.

Alright, more of topic stuff. What are your crazy summer camp stories, if you've got em'.

Off topic writing related problem. I love setting. I mean, I really love setting. When I'm writing a story (of which I'm writing multiple right now) I have a few places where my characters spend most of their time. I.e. their house, school, cabin, camp, ect. And when I'm writing a story, often times I feel like I go into excruciating detail with regards to the physical setting. I have a set in my mind, and I describe it. But I feel as though the set takes up to much space. However, when I go back to clean up the description, I find it hard to remove much of anything. For example, for Jim Bob to go into the living room, I feel like I need to say where the room is in comparison with the rest of the house, how big it is, how it's set up, and so on and so forth. If I don't, I feel like my story lacks a certain quality. But when I do, there seems to be too much of that quality. So here's my question: Writers, how do you deal with setting? How do you set the scene for the reader to go into the character's mind, without explaining how, and when, the house was built. How do you give the time, not the watch?

Lol.

Ah, I'm back. I was really pressed for time before I left, so I made the mistake of trying to skim a chapter like this. Yeah, it didn't go well. I spent the last week trying to sort things out in my brain, but I need more structure. I'm off to read the chapter for real now.

Darn! I might have to go a week without SITO. (I'm heading out to where I won't have any access to the Internet)@jashley13, thanks, so much, I'm truly flattered 😊. I know I'm always saying this, but I wouldn't say better. I'm not able to capture the emotion like you can, nor build that conversation at the door like you could. Don't sell yourself short. Again, thank you so much, that means a lot. Oh, guys look! We're almost to 2000 posts!

In my mind, I figured Jack proposed to Kayla after they dated for maybe 3, 4 years. Then they decided they wanted to be out of college before they got married to make it easier for them both. Maybe it's a few years less, I dunno. Actually, I've got a couple things in the works, but I'm slow at it. I'll let you know if/when I put something out.

Jack took a deep breath. "I thought we got through this." He said desperately. He heard Kayla sobbing through the door again. "I just remembered it all. How you were so intimate with her. It hurt so much. It still hurts. And I don't know why! It tore me up. And I hated Tara, and I was mad at you. I wanted, still want to blame someone." She fell into another fit of sobs. "Kayla... I understand. I'm here. But I never felt anything for Tara in anyway like I felt it for you. Like I feel for you. I love you. I always will. You're my one and only." "You said you loved her more than just a cousin. And you made love to her." Kayla sobbed again, sounding accusing. "I was young!" Jack protested. "And confused. I love her to death. As a cousin. A sister. But not anything like you. I love you with my whole heart. As soon as I thought about who she was, I lost it. I tried so hard, but it was weird and uncomfortable and I regretted it. As much as that hurt Tara, it wasn't good. We did what we thought was best for her. It didn't work out for any of us. But even then, it was the two of us, taking the journey. Together. Now lets take the blame, together." Silence fell. Jack couldn't tell if Kayla was still crying. "Thank you, Jack. I know we've done this before, had this conversation. I'm sorry. I know that I blame, blamed you for it." She paused. "And Tara. And I know I was hurt, but I think I'm ready. Finally." She started to laugh, almost hysterically. She laughed and laughed. Jack sat, puzzled. "You ok in there?" He asked, thoroughly confused. Kayla laugh again. "Listen to us, Jack. Look at us. After all we've come through, just when we think we've got it, something happens again. If you hadn't come down here, I think I would have stayed in here for days." "Oh, I think you'd come out to eat sooner than later." Jack laughed. "Don't test me, Mr. Harrison." Kayla threatened. "Yes ma'am." Jack said, saluting sarcastically, even though Kayla couldn't see. "Are you saluting me?" Kayla asked. Jack sat for a second, stunned. "How'd you know...?" He trailed off, glancing at the peep hole. He darted out of its view. "Noooo!" Kayla whined. "Sorry, I don't get to see you, you don't get to see me." Just then, Craig poked his head around the corner. "Jack, it's time to go." He said, beckoning to him. Jack nodded, and leaned against the door. "I'll see you." He said to Kayla, and turned towards Craig. "Jack, wait." Kayla called. "We're together. For better or for worse." Jack smiled. "For better or for worse." He echoed. With that, he turned and followed Craig away. --------------------------- Jack stood, looking out at friends and family. Joe leaned over to him. "You ready man?" He asked. Jack took a deep breath. "I've been ready for seven years." At that, the music started and the doors came open. At the end stood the only woman he would ever need. Jack smiled. She is the one. --------------------

Joe and Tara were hot on his tail. "Jack," Tara said, placing a had on his back, "stop. I'll talk to her." "You made it very clear that didn't work." Jack said, annoyed. He reached Kayla's hallway at that moment. "Go away." He said, facing them. They just stood, staring. "NOW!" He shouted. Joe and Tara looked at each other, then turned away. Jack knocked on Kayla's door. "Go away!" A voice called from inside. "Sweetie... It's me." "Jack...?" The voice trailed off. "I'm here." He said softly. He heard footsteps, and the handle jiggling, then a pause. "I can't." "Why." He asked. "It's bad luck." "Joe said the same damn thing. When has that stopped us before?" Jack demanded. "Jack, please." Kayla pleaded. He sighed, slumping against the door. "Can we talk through this?" Jack asked, thumping the door with his hand. "Sure." Kayla said, her voice seeming a little brighter. "Is anyone else around?" She asked. "No, I sent them away." Jack responded. "Good." Kayla said. "What's the problem honey?" Jack asked carefully. He sat for a minute. It sounded like Kayla was crying. He put all of his will into not busting down the door to comfort her. He sat, just listening to her. "Jack, I'm sorry." Kayla's voice came from the other side, ragged and raw. "For what?" "For it all. All the trouble I've put you through." Kayla sobbed. "No!" Jack said firmly. "Don't start that, not today. Especially not today. I would have endured it all a thousand times for you." "Do you think I would have?" Kayla asked. "Of course. I know we'd do any thing for each other. I'd catch a grenade for ya." Jack trailed off. "Oh God, not that song." Kayla laughed softly. "And technically, you did catch a grenade for me." She chuckled. Jack laughed softly. "Oh yeah, that's right. I'd forgotten about that one." They sat in silence for bit longer. "When Tara came into the room, I remembered it all." Kayla started. Oh no. Not this again. Why why why. Why today? Of all days, why today?

Maybe it takes a very long time. ------------------------------ Jack stood in front of the mirror. He took a deep breath. Ok, Jack, you can do it. He fiddled with his hair more, and adjusted his tie. Joe's hand clapped him on the shoulder. "C'mon man, it'll be fine. Your gonna ruin your hair if you keep doing that." He said. Jack looked at his best friend. "I'm just really nervous." Jack stuttered. "Where's Mr. Confidence?" Joe jested, giving Jack a playful shove. Suddenly, his demeanor shifted to a much more serious air. "Jack, you gotta be the man here. Kayla's gonna be counting on you. I'm not gonna hold your hand out there." Jack took a deep breath, smoothed out his jacket, and nodded. A soft knock interrupted them. Tara stood in the doorway. She looked gorgeous, her dress flowing and hair wavy, except for the frown on her face. "What's up?" Joe asked. "It's Kayla, she..." Tara started. All color left Jack, nervousness washing over him anew, in one, massive, wave. "What, spit it out." Joe prompted. Tara shot him a glare before continuing. "She's locked in her room. She won't come out." "Dammit." Joe breathed. He stepped closer to Tara. "Have you tried everything?" He asked in a low, earnest voice. "Of course I have, I'm not an idiot!" Tara said, annoyed, their conversation quickly descending into chaos. Jack stood back as Tara and Joe bickered, not catching much of the conversation. He thought about what could have possibly set Kayla off. "I'll go see her." He said after a minute Joe and Tara whirled around to face him. "WHAT!" They cried in unison. He was slightly startled by their reaction, but pushed forward. "I'll go see her." He said more slowly. "Now's not the time to be a smartass. Besides, you can't." Tara said firmly. "Why not?!" Jack protested, becoming more anxious by the second. "Uh, dude, it's bad luck." Joe said, acting like it was obvious. "That hasn't stopped us before." Jack said, and with that, despited furious protests from both of them, he pushed past Tara and Joe and into the hallway.

The song wasn't bad, but I'm not a huge fan of that genre of music anyway, so. Not sure that it fits Kayla to well. I can see where you're coming from, but Kayla still is the girl she used to be, and she's not stupid. There's just a lot of shit happening. In regards to your frustration/ fed up-ness, what are the specific things that bother you? Also, on a completely different note, I think I need to stay away from twitter. My God, the number of self bemoaning tweets I see. Mostly from girls. I'm not one of those cringy "girls did you know" people, but really, it's like every guy must be an asshole. Maybe that's how Tara feels. The whole thing drives me insane.

See, while this is plausible, Chester(naw, it's gotta be Mr. Hannigan for me, I'm still too young) seems to accompany Mrs. Hannigan on too many trips. I'm thinking it's more than that. A dry spell plus some. The more I think about your theory, the more I like it. Mr. Hannigan has taken a secret fancy to Tara. As well, they've hit one of their dry spells, and have fallen out of love. I think Kayla's got some stuff awaiting her when she gets home, weither good or not.

I have a feeling Tara may find someone soon. A good guy that will sweep her of her feet. I don't know how soon it'll be, but I think it's coming. Will Jack have any resentment? In the chapter where Tara moves in, Jack mentions that the thought of Tara being with someone irked him, though he wasn't sure why. Jack implied that Tara has had a fair amount of it sex before. Not that she's a slut, but that she's willing to get involved quickly, it seems. Will she be nervous or feel weird about sex now? Also, we she get angry at her perfect man for seemingly no reason? Like Joe Long said here, she probably has a lot of anger that needs to be released. Also, in the situation with Kayla, I agree as well. I think that when something bad happens, Kayla will lose it. Flip out on a massive scale. Maybe at Tara, who knows?

Yeah, I guess so. This is something to look at too. The conversation they need to have hasn't happened yet. They've discussed things about the threesome, but they haven't really discussed it. Read here: Jack is frustrated about the situation. While he says "I'm the one with the dick" to Tara, he is still frustrated and angry. We've seen the window into his mind. While I still stand by my point about the frustration with Kayla not having sex, I do see the other things piling into this. Whether or not he will ever admit it, Jack probably feels as though he was trapped in a corner on the issue. The girls waited to get him "hot and bothered." So he's angry at Kayla and Tara about that. He's upset because, no matter how much he loves Tara, he had sex with his cousin. He's angry at Kayla for saying that he was ok, then jumping ship. This has all been pointed out by other people here. It's a shit storm. Someone's gotta clean that shit up eventually. All they've done so far is get out an umbrella and push the shit aside with their shoes. The grace period is coming to an end. Another chapter, and this shit all spills over. I agree here with Joe Long. So I see where Jack's frustration is just, and where it adds to the story. I guess I'll see how it all adds up. There's a lot they have to talk about, and they'll probably approach it as teenagers do, in some sort of stutter steped or irrational way. But Jack is almost 17. They're maturing. (or they should be) They're getting along better, and at the end of the last chapter, Jack thinks it could almost be like normal again. But when it all comes to face, we'll see how well they get along.

But the problem here is that if you say, or do, one thing, and think another, that's not a good thing to build on. (Bare with me here). Now of course, this isn't the case in all, or nearly all situations. Obviously, you comply with your boss, your SO, your mother, ect, and may be thinking another thing a lot times. But when in a committed relationship, especially on an issue that is one of the main parts of that relationship, thoughts become words. Yes, Jack is allowed to not like that Kayla feels awkward, he's allowed to be annoyed. What I'm saying is that he shouldn't have, or he should have voiced his problem. I'm criticizing Jack for being bothered by not being able to have sex for two days. There are a lot of other problems connected here. Jack has the right to be mad about Kayla not liking the threesome when she instigated it. (Whoops, I think I just beat my own logic there) but Jack should be able to handle it. That's what I think at least.

Damn page reloaded. Was near the end of my long post. Fuck. This second one might not be as articulate. I have a couple points on the last chapter. There were some sections that didn't seem right in context with the rest of the chapter, and the story as a whole. First, I didn't like the skating rink incident. In the midst of a much larger problem, Jack is, once again, slammed (literally) by another incident. It didn't fit the tone of the chapter. It fit the overall "Jack gets beat to shit." Tone that this story sometimes carries, but not that of the chapter. It seemed force, and I don't understand what the need for it was. Maybe Joe was basing it off real events. I don't know. Just didn't work for me. My second gripe was Jack's annoyance with Kayla not wanting to have sex. That, in my opinion, was very "not Jack." In general, he's a good guy, and he works with and understands Kayla. But at that point, he went "full douche", like I don't remember him doing before. Sure, he's a horny teenage guy who's not some perfect idealist, but he's usually better than that. In lieu of the whole situation, he should have been more rational about the fact that, "hey, I just had sex with my cousin and now my girlfriend's uncomfortable about having se near her and its only been a couple of days since the incident." Instead he's like "fuck her, what a bitch for not helping me get off." (That's how if came off to me, obviously not how Jack thought it) Those two things just didn't work for me.

I was just thinking about some stuff. I'm not really seeing that though. I think Joe made it clear to Jack that he was done with Brad. But who knows.

I'll head over and check out the new chapters. I fell out after the first few. Really enjoyed the story in the beginning. Glad to see you here.

Ahem, I think we got it.

Ouch... Something kinda along those lines happened to me. I was playing the "are you nervous?" Game with a friend of mine. Basically groping her, my younger friend who was there freaks out. She freaks out, we leave. I get a text later that she "want me to come over so she can show me something." I'm like "ok" but I see my younger friend on the way over, and he comes up to me. (We all lived close together) we walked you to her door, she opens it, sees my younger friend, frowns, and says "oh, I forgot what it was." I still cringe sometimes. And that's not the only story like that I have. I was a real oblivious person. Really oblivious.

They really should have learned the rules in high school health class: Guys: "if you have sex, your dick will shrivel up and fall off!" Girls: "if you even get close to a mans's dick, you will get pregnant!" All: "if you have sex, your lives will end and you'll die!"