KH_Woodward

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I get few reviews for my fan fiction or original fiction, but they are definitely quality as opposed to mere quantity. I'll take it.

To be honest, I can't say much about reviewers on AFF yet (my experience is largely on other fan fiction websites of the non-adult variety). I guess I'll find out now that I'm posting stories here. XD But I'm glad to hear that more obscure things tend to be less like this, since my tastes tend to run toward the pretty darn obscure.

A reader recently asked me whether I had a Twitter account through which I could notify readers about my new stories or chapters. I do not, but I'm thinking about getting one. Before I do, though, I'm wondering what the other options are.
What do you all do when you want to let your readers know about new stories or chapters you've posted?

It's even beyond being a freebie seeker. It's the notion that the world owes them something, and everyone needs to jump through hoops to provide exactly what this person wants. Even worse, the demands are frequently lacking in grammar, punctuation, or even any notion of sense. It made me quite happy to have dabbled in obscure and unpopular fandoms.
I always want to hug authors who tell such reviewers that sorry, it's their story, they will write it their way, and the reviewer is welcome to write the story the reviewer wants to read. (And then, if they're like me, they go and wonder if they were over the top saying that. )
We all love a review, though. Even those quick, "I loved it!" reviews can keep us going.

VERY good post! I completely agree, and as a non writer, if I do actually read something, I leave a review. I sure as hell won't tell the writer that he or she needs to "write this way because I say so". That drives me batty when I see it. It's INSULTING.
I think much of what you're looking at is a HUGE sense of entitlement being played out.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

Veerrrrry good points. All of it.
At the end of the day, if you want really "good" sex scenes, you have to remember that your characters aren't a set of genitals with a personality inconveniently attached. (Even if your characters don't realize it! Haha!) It's the other way around.

Just my two cents, but.... the idea that any person should be limited in what kinds of characters/scenes they can write is patently ridiculous. If this was true, Stephen King's best stories would be about white male authors. In reality, his "breakout" story (and my personal favorite) is about a teenage girl hitting puberty. Sex scenes are like anything else. You just have to research... The problem is that sex scenes present some very unique problems with getting access to accurate information. For one thing, it's kind of hard to get access to "primary sources". If you're writing about a cop, you can ask to do a ride-along and watch the cop doing his job and learn about his world and how he interacts with it that way. It's kind of creepy to go around asking your friends to watch them having sex. ;p Even if you are somehow lucky enough to have friends open to that, it's like quantum physics. The very fact that you're observing it changes the dynamics of what you're observing (it becomes exhibitionism instead of regular one-on-one sex).
Interviewing people is a good start, but it's limited by what they know about themselves and the world they inhabit. For one thing, people are very likely to tell you the truth about what they would like to think about themselves. They may be telling you what they think is the truth, but that's only a small part of their inner world. Remember, there are still females in this world with functioning sexual organs who think that the female orgasm is a myth. People's knowledge is limited by their experiences, and since the average person has few enough partners in a lifetime to count on one hand, and open talk of sexuality is often highly taboo.... Well, their opinion about what is "normal" is probably skewed, at least slightly. (Though interviewing people is useful for other reasons... You can learn their mannerisms, speech patterns, etc., and if the character is written in third-person, this may be all you need for non-sexual scenes! Besides, some of the most interesting conflicts revolve around the difference between what people think they are and what they actually are.)
But let's say you have access to perfectly accurate information. You're still not guaranteed to write "good" sex scenes, because no matter what the purpose of the scene, it's very, very, very rare that what you write is going to resemble reality in any way beyond the most superficial without turning off readers. If it's erotica, well... Real sex is boring to watch and kind of gross if you aren't the person having it. (Zach and Miri Make a Porno demonstrates this delightfully. I highly recommend it.) If you're writing some literary fiction masterpiece in which the central plot revolves around a sexual relationship as a way of demonstrating some universal human truth (I'm thinking Lolita here, and books like it) then the reason is because you have to provide the audience with enough information to avoid pulling them out of your story, without being so graphic and realistic that they end up shocked out of the story. Either way, what you write is going to bear only passing resemblance to "reality".
IMO, erotica really is one of the hardest things to write, no matter who you are. Everyone has had sex, so everyone thinks they know what it is. But at the same time, most people don't talk openly about sex with other people and generally don't have tons of sexual partners in their lifetime (certainly not enough to be considered a random enough sample for them to be able to judge what's "normal" in the general population). Sex is also one of those things that people are really terrified that they are doing "wrong". The result of all this complicated sociology is that people are often very opinionated about what's "right" without really understanding that sexual experiences are, in reality, hugely varied and individual. Even two people of the same gender, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic status, and social background may have radically different approaches, attitudes, experiences, desires, and even anatomy! So even if you do all your "legwork" you're going to have people saying that what you write doesn't make sense because it doesn't match up with their own personal, highly unique experiences.
My opinion on this is, If you aren't worried about artistic integrity (and many of us aren't, if we're writing erotica), focus on what turns /you/ on, and to hell with people who say it's not "real". Chances are very good that people who are like you will also be turned on by it, so someone, somewhere will also enjoy what you wrote. And isn't that kind of the point of writing for other people's entertainment?
But let's say that I was really concerned about pleasing an audience that is very different from myself. For the sake of example, let's say that you're a gold-star lesbian who wants to write a literary fiction novel about a gay couple in which the sex figures prominently in the story without being intended to titillate, with gay men as your target audience. You have a two-fold problem here: 1) you need to know biologically how the male anatomy works, and how it's different from your own, and 2) you need to learn about gay male sexuality/desire and how it differs from your own so that you don't pull your target audience out of the story by writing something that's wildly unfamiliar to their experience.
The easiest first step is to read a LOT of sex scenes written with gay male characters. If it were me, I would try to get a good dozen that are written with a female target audience, and then get another good dozen written with a male target audience (examples that were actually popular with the target audience, of course), and I would try to make sure to cross genres and "types" of stories in order to figure out what's common to the sex scenes regardless of plot considerations and genre conventions.
After picking these apart (you don't get to just read them for funsies... you have to go back and analyze them for structure, character, and other elements), I would figure out three things: 1) What is common to all of these stories, regardless of target audience? 2) What is common only when the audience is female (red flag for things that either women think men are like, or that are specific to a female understand of sexuality), 3) What is common to all the stories that are popular with a male audience, but missing in the books for female audiences (red flag for things that are common to the male experience that women are unlikely to know about, and therefore aren't bothered when it's missing).
Once you've done all that research, you probably have a pretty good idea of how to write a story that gay men will appreciate. You may not have as much fun writing it, if you're a gold-star lesbian, but if you do your research well and make sure and actually use that research, you have a pretty good chance of writing a story that a male audience will identify with and enjoy.
All this being said, I've never once used this technique for writing erotica. I just write what I find to be sexy and if other people like it, then great. If not, then there are most likely piles and piles of things written by other authors that they WILL, so I just don't worry about it too much.

That....was longer than I expected. Sorry!
The tl;dr: Talking to people isn't always the best way to get into the minds of people very different from yourself. Sometimes the best way is to read fiction that is written for and enjoyed by the type of person whose head you're trying to get into.

Just my two cents, but.... the idea that any person should be limited in what kinds of characters/scenes they can write is patently ridiculous. If this was true, Stephen King's best stories would be about white male authors. In reality, his "breakout" story (and my personal favorite) is about a teenage girl hitting puberty. Sex scenes are like anything else. You just have to research... The problem is that sex scenes present some very unique problems with getting access to accurate information. For one thing, it's kind of hard to get access to "primary sources". If you're writing about a cop, you can ask to do a ride-along and watch the cop doing his job and learn about his world and how he interacts with it that way. It's kind of creepy to go around asking your friends to watch them having sex. ;p Even if you are somehow lucky enough to have friends open to that, it's like quantum physics. The very fact that you're observing it changes the dynamics of what you're observing (it becomes exhibitionism instead of regular one-on-one sex).
Interviewing people is a good start, but it's limited by what they know about themselves and the world they inhabit. For one thing, people are very likely to tell you the truth about what they would like to think about themselves. They may be telling you what they think is the truth, but that's only a small part of their inner world. Remember, there are still females in this world with functioning sexual organs who think that the female orgasm is a myth. People's knowledge is limited by their experiences, and since the average person has few enough partners in a lifetime to count on one hand, and open talk of sexuality is often highly taboo.... Well, their opinion about what is "normal" is probably skewed, at least slightly. (Though interviewing people is useful for other reasons... You can learn their mannerisms, speech patterns, etc., and if the character is written in third-person, this may be all you need for non-sexual scenes! Besides, some of the most interesting conflicts revolve around the difference between what people think they are and what they actually are.)
But let's say you have access to perfectly accurate information. You're still not guaranteed to write "good" sex scenes, because no matter what the purpose of the scene, it's very, very, very rare that what you write is going to resemble reality in any way beyond the most superficial without turning off readers. If it's erotica, well... Real sex is boring to watch and kind of gross if you aren't the person having it. (Zach and Miri Make a Porno demonstrates this delightfully. I highly recommend it.) If you're writing some literary fiction masterpiece in which the central plot revolves around a sexual relationship as a way of demonstrating some universal human truth (I'm thinking Lolita here, and books like it) then the reason is because you have to provide the audience with enough information to avoid pulling them out of your story, without being so graphic and realistic that they end up shocked out of the story. Either way, what you write is going to bear only passing resemblance to "reality".
IMO, erotica really is one of the hardest things to write, no matter who you are. Everyone has had sex, so everyone thinks they know what it is. But at the same time, most people don't talk openly about sex with other people and generally don't have tons of sexual partners in their lifetime (certainly not enough to be considered a random enough sample for them to be able to judge what's "normal" in the general population). Sex is also one of those things that people are really terrified that they are doing "wrong". The result of all this complicated sociology is that people are often very opinionated about what's "right" without really understanding that sexual experiences are, in reality, hugely varied and individual. Even two people of the same gender, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic status, and social background may have radically different approaches, attitudes, experiences, desires, and even anatomy! So even if you do all your "legwork" you're going to have people saying that what you write doesn't make sense because it doesn't match up with their own personal, highly unique experiences.
My opinion on this is, If you aren't worried about artistic integrity (and many of us aren't, if we're writing erotica), focus on what turns /you/ on, and to hell with people who say it's not "real". Chances are very good that people who are like you will also be turned on by it, so someone, somewhere will also enjoy what you wrote. And isn't that kind of the point of writing for other people's entertainment?
But let's say that I was really concerned about pleasing an audience that is very different from myself. For the sake of example, let's say that you're a gold-star lesbian who wants to write a literary fiction novel about a gay couple in which the sex figures prominently in the story without being intended to titillate, with gay men as your target audience. You have a two-fold problem here: 1) you need to know biologically how the male anatomy works, and how it's different from your own, and 2) you need to learn about gay male sexuality/desire and how it differs from your own so that you don't pull your target audience out of the story by writing something that's wildly unfamiliar to their experience.
The easiest first step is to read a LOT of sex scenes written with gay male characters. If it were me, I would try to get a good dozen that are written with a female target audience, and then get another good dozen written with a male target audience (examples that were actually popular with the target audience, of course), and I would try to make sure to cross genres and "types" of stories in order to figure out what's common to the sex scenes regardless of plot considerations and genre conventions.
After picking these apart (you don't get to just read them for funsies... you have to go back and analyze them for structure, character, and other elements), I would figure out three things: 1) What is common to all of these stories, regardless of target audience? 2) What is common only when the audience is female (red flag for things that either women think men are like, or that are specific to a female understand of sexuality), 3) What is common to all the stories that are popular with a male audience, but missing in the books for female audiences (red flag for things that are common to the male experience that women are unlikely to know about, and therefore aren't bothered when it's missing).
Once you've done all that research, you probably have a pretty good idea of how to write a story that gay men will appreciate. You may not have as much fun writing it, if you're a gold-star lesbian, but if you do your research well and make sure and actually use that research, you have a pretty good chance of writing a story that a male audience will identify with and enjoy.
All this being said, I've never once used this technique for writing erotica. I just write what I find to be sexy and if other people like it, then great. If not, then there are most likely piles and piles of things written by other authors that they WILL, so I just don't worry about it too much.

That....was longer than I expected. Sorry!
The tl;dr: Talking to people isn't always the best way to get into the minds of people very different from yourself. Sometimes the best way is to read fiction that is written for and enjoyed by the type of person whose head you're trying to get into.