pippychick

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It's the week of reviews! Lol.  From Strange Tales from Stranger Places, a review from @pippychick.  Welcome back to the Nuthouse .
From pippychick on March 12, 2019
Part One
Oh, that was wickedly clever! I didn't see it coming, so when I knew the answer, I had to go back and read it all again.
I really love that ambiguous ending, where the pheromones bring others. Lol, could be Cara is about to have a busy year, or ten. I'm not sure if that would be fun or not. I do know no one has ever imagined and written a space landing quite like this... but I like it.
At first I did find the "they/their/them" use a little strange, but all made sense at the end.
Thank you for sharing
***
Oh, that was wickedly clever! I didn't see it coming, so when I knew the answer, I had to go back and read it all again.
Lol.  I'm really glad.  I tried to lay out clues without being too direct or vice versa.  As I've said before, subtlety is not my strong suite, so it was definitely a struggle.  I'm glad it made you go back and read it again (did you catch the clues the second time around?).  Lol.
I really love that ambiguous ending, where the pheromones bring others. Lol, could be Cara is about to have a busy year, or ten. I'm not sure if that would be fun or not. I do know no one has ever imagined and written a space landing quite like this... but I like it.
Lol.  I was kind of worried about tagging this one.  Not sure if it constitutes implied rape, 3+, gangbang, or death by sex, but I knew I wanted it ambiguous.  I know my kind of inspiration for it actually comes from Star Trek (lol). I was always like...  All these races, come in contact and have some adverse affect on humans, but never the other way around.  Definitely wanted to show the flip side.  Lol.
At first I did find the "they/their/them" use a little strange, but all made sense at the end.
I'm not going to lie, it felt a little strange as I was writing.  I've written non-binary characters in the past (Alana Romanov in Come Hell or High Water) but they were not the MC.  I always seemed to revert to writing she in place of they.  But I'm glad it worked and made sense in the end .

Damn it… I’m bloody writing in emoticons. Somebody please put me down. It’s over.

Damn it… I’m bloody writing in emoticons. Somebody please put me down. It’s over.

Well, regarding Walter and the brilliant insanity that is his character, I can imagine how fun it would be to write.  Lol.  He is definitely an intriguing mix and both in the show and in your writing, it strikes a balance that would seem to work only with him.  Lol.
Bumpy starts are fun.  And I definitely enjoy them, adds realism to the tale.  So now I have something to look forward to more .
lol.  Yes, certainly have to hide the sausage - I mean, hide what's been going in - on, on, damnit, on…
And you're quite welcome.  It's beautifully written.

Review for Screw It, I’m Posting (A collection of drabbles and short shorts.)

 
@pippychick You are sooo fucking sweet. I honestly didn’t think anyone would read this, lol both because they’re drabbles, and because I kinda intentionally undersell it. I’m glad you loved it. I don’t think they’re that impressive, and I’m certain they’d be underwhelming to most people not in my head, experiencing this world, but I actually loved these drabbles too. So it makes me happy that I’m not alone in that. Thank you for the encouragement 

Damn it… I’m bloody writing in emoticons. Somebody please put me down. It’s over.

Part Seven of WitS is up, so it’s time to respond to some more reviews!
First, one from the inimitable @pippychick.
It’s kind of a chain reaction, really.  Kevin and Abdul are going in to help Calista, and Luzurial can’t very well let the mortals handle this alone, and she can’t just tell them to wait outside because Kevin is not letting her go in there by herself.  So they end up stuck together.
As for people you care about being used against you, wait for it…
Yeah, Stern was dispatched pretty quickly to get to the car thing, which was the image I had in my head for the scene.  Sinfulwolf also brought up that the action scene there could stand to be longer, and maybe at some point I’ll extend it somewhat.
Thank you!  I was going for kind of an eerie feel with the burning city and the dragon flying just out of sight behind the buildings.  I don’t know why, but the lack of sound always seemed kind of creepy to me as well.
Good luck with rationing!  I’m really happy that you’re enjoying the story, though.
And thank you for reviewing!

Wait, Guy N. Smith is a personal hero, and there is not one giant mutant crab in this story?  You betrayed us all, pippychick!
No, seriously though, that’s actually really cool, and I seriously need to finish reading Night of the Crabs at some point.
As for the lack of gore being a failure of yours as an author, I don’t think so.  Stories don’t need to be gory to work, and in my opinion the buildup here is far more frightening because of what we don’t see.  The elemental was terrifying when we couldn’t see it, because while part of me was just imagining a blob of water, another part of me was only half-picturing something else, a terrible, nebulous image that I didn’t want to bring into focus because of what it might look like.  In addition, the mention that before he died, George barely resembled anything human, coupled with the “gifts” we’ve seen him receive is replete with uncomfortable possibilities.
While I do think that The Price was scarier overall, I think this really worked in its own way.  Heck, you may have already learned a lesson from it: how to write from the PoV of someone whose personal philosophy you disagree with.

Thank you so much, InBrightestDay!
I am not sure I deserve these reviews, but I’ll try and answer your points, so here goes:
I’m afraid the lack of body horror later in the story is entirely down to my own limitations as a writer. I wanted to put it in (I’d been looking forward to that very thing), and I had no compunction about inflicting it on the character, but I found I couldn’t do it without losing the emotional and psychological resonance. I mean, Guy N Smith is one of my heroes, and he can do this with ease. He’s written a number of favourite gory horror scenes, and it kills me that I can’t emulate him. In the end, I had to begin with a little, and heavily hint at more later on, which is kind of personally disappointing to me.
George is unlikeable to me because he’s an out and out capitalist, and I’m the complete opposite. Writing his pov – sympathetically – for me, required some pretty hefty suspension of belief. I still feel dirty. *shudders*
As to the comparison, I think I did say the elemental is also an emissary. It was probably created just for this, to communicate some kind of dissatisfaction. That likely meant it was able to relate to George on a much smaller, human, and more petty level.
I’m glad you liked it. I have to admit, though, I was much happier with how ‘The Price’ turned out. This was difficult, but I think it was also good practice. In time to come, I’m sure I’ll realise I learned a lot from it.
Thank you!

I hoped the opening line wouldn’t upset you, it was my reaction at the end!
Thank you for taking an idea I’d never have gotten anywhere with and making something of it!
 

She definitely had distinctly impure, indeed downright mucky, thoughts about her commander Luzurial in the old days. And most of her comrades. And herself. I’ve basically got the ending written out but need to get it together and write the things that brought her to that point and if I don’t, well, the ending was fun to write! 
And it’s nice of you to say so, it really is, but I even have trouble writing the damn gore these days! I mean, look at this story here, someone’s been stabbed in the stomach and nobody even tried to fuck them as they were suffering. What the hell kind of JD story is this?
...oh now I remember the Ace story. Yeah, that one was fucked up. 

I had a little daydream that she started having sexual thoughts while training with Luzurial when you mentioned that memory… now I wonder what the actual story is!
Just stop right there. There are a handful of authors that I read, and you are one. That number dwindles down still further when I’m actively writing stories myself, but you remain up there. Every now and again I delve into your back catalogue for a treat, because you’re written things that will stay with me forever (as I write this, I am thinking particularly of the Ace story in DW, and the one with the disembowelling crocodile rape monster thing, which I enjoyed even though I don’t know the fandom). Plus I adore your sense of humour.

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist)
Thank you for the review! It’s good of you to stick with the story and provide the feedback. I guess Kizzy has a plan, like the A-Team’s Hannibal she loves it when a plan comes together. That’s one of the way she thinks things through more than Shannon who just likes coming together – I think she has fantasies like that about most people, but of course the Angels are inhumanly beautiftul/handsome so... I’m glad it made you laugh – it took me years after her first apperance to decide the name Shannon originally had, and in the end that seemed the most hilariously inappropiate one. I’ve actually done the first chunk of a story called The Fall of Chastia which from BronxWench’s guidance I’d have to post in the Books section as it features some Biblical angels as active characters and Lucifer’s rebellion. I hope to get it done!
She’s been bound within  a statue as Luzurial was at the end of Whore of Heaven but she isn’t in any pain. As the Duchess mentioned earlier, it actually was Kizurial who gave the order that no angel should release Luzurial from Eparlegna’s statue as a further punishment for Luzurial disobeying the creator’s order to leave humanity to face Eparlegna alone. Kizurial was assigned to Earth by her Creator a relatively short time later, to deal with the kind of supernatural slumber party killer you might normally see an ordinary angel dealing with, and then needed to stay there, because she hadn’t returned Shannon to Hell, or granted her oblivion. These things may not be unconnected. The creator has plans too…
The Principality (who I alone have imagined with a Welsh accent) unaware of Shannon’s friendship and service with Kizurial, sees herself as applying Kizurial’s ‘justice’ to a demon who escaped Hell, although not being a demon herself hasn’t subjected Shannon to horrible tortures first. Shannon’s fate could just get very dull, bound in the statue, watching people going about their lives in a park somewhere, if Shannon doesn’t have some kind of succubus-power infused toy in there to keep her entertained until she is released…
Tolkien had a great sense of continuity, I barely keep continuity within the same scene   I just can’t write so good as some of you other folks on here. You and BronxWench or George – and InBrightestDay paints much better word pictures than I do! Still, I don’t feel bad because I get to enjoy your writing (or be deeply unsettled and actually have a frickin’ nightmare after the last one… But that can be enjoyable too, s’like a free horror movie.)

Thank you so much, InBrightestDay!
I am not sure I deserve these reviews, but I’ll try and answer your points, so here goes:
I’m afraid the lack of body horror later in the story is entirely down to my own limitations as a writer. I wanted to put it in (I’d been looking forward to that very thing), and I had no compunction about inflicting it on the character, but I found I couldn’t do it without losing the emotional and psychological resonance. I mean, Guy N Smith is one of my heroes, and he can do this with ease. He’s written a number of favourite gory horror scenes, and it kills me that I can’t emulate him. In the end, I had to begin with a little, and heavily hint at more later on, which is kind of personally disappointing to me.
George is unlikeable to me because he’s an out and out capitalist, and I’m the complete opposite. Writing his pov – sympathetically – for me, required some pretty hefty suspension of belief. I still feel dirty. *shudders*
As to the comparison, I think I did say the elemental is also an emissary. It was probably created just for this, to communicate some kind of dissatisfaction. That likely meant it was able to relate to George on a much smaller, human, and more petty level.
I’m glad you liked it. I have to admit, though, I was much happier with how ‘The Price’ turned out. This was difficult, but I think it was also good practice. In time to come, I’m sure I’ll realise I learned a lot from it.
Thank you!

Thank you so much, Jaydee
I really didn’t expect to get an in-depth review like this, and you’ve made me very happy.
As I said in the author’s note, I really didn’t like George at first. I think in some ways this is why it took so long to finish this. I kept wanting to bash him for lots of things (for instance, I’m pretty sure he reads the Daily Fail), and then I had to calm down and think: yeah, but it’s his point of view, so just stop it.
I also had the ending almost from the start (the “pretty” bit), and I really liked that, so I had to try to make the journey there and get it to work somehow. I’m glad that it does work a bit, even if I couldn’t write all the gory bits. Maybe I’ll leave that to the Master…
Thank you for letting me use your idea! You’re awesome!

High praise coming from you. <3 
And I could really use Blackbird's help right now. Been dying to write something dark and thoroughly depraved again

It’s wonderful  
And while I’m here, I just wanted to say that I still miss Blackbird. I wonder if he’s out there somewhere in the ether, waiting for his chronicler to see him win his way through… somehow. Not nagging at all.
Just like this little piece here, you are a sensational writer. I am quite sure I haven’t told you that often enough.

A review for Kiss of the Snake
@pippychick I seriously adore you, Pippy. I’m so happy you enjoyed it, and calling it a dark fairytale made me blush. I like little challenges like this that allow me to indulge in a societal message or two. Thank you so much for the review! 

I fear you may have overstated there, but as it happens you did sum up my feelings throughout the last chapter of Whore of Heaven.  You can look at my review of Part Three for the full explanation, but the TL;DR version is that I started at “this woman needs a hug” and ended at “Ooooooh God someone please hug her now.”
Which, of course, is why this story exists.  Its alternate title could pretty much be “Hugs for Luzurial.”  Like I said, I’m kind of emotionally sensitive.
Don’t worry; it wasn’t supposed to be obvious.  Never actually seen Fallen, though Denzel is awesome in pretty much everything.

It works fully! I definitely felt it. Don’t mind me, I’m a tough cookie, and furthermore I’m British therefore I understate. You should read ‘it touched my heart’ as: ‘I was suddenly transported to that bathroom, and I could feel all the same things she was feeling, and it hurt, and I wanted to put my arms around her and make it all right again.’ 
Ah… well, I just recently rewatched ‘Fallen’ and I kept imagining a lovely young Denzel Washington, so it was a bit of a surprise for me when he suddenly turned.
 

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) part 4 review!
Thank you for your review! Though I feel a little bad about keeping you from your tea. Also, this is weirdly similar to Kate’s reaction. You’re… you’re not a werewolf are you?
I have another story started that would explain how Shannon had hooked up with Trenna for the night, not sure I’ll get it finished, but she needed someone to have been having fun with and hasn’t met her friend Astrid yet at the time the story’s set.
Not stone As if I’d write a story where an angelic character ended up in a statue… cough cough ahem. Shannon can get much stronger when she charges her succubus form up with sexual energy, but normally she’s at the fallen angel baseline which’d still be above human norm (and so able to jump through a ‘not stone’ wall!)
Yay! It was an idea I had for a while I wanted to use, kind of a mood swerve but so very Shannon. I’m really glad it worked. She didn’t take the time to remove it either…
Plus Kizzy’s alive at the end of You! which is set later, but other readers who know I kill off characters needlessly all the damn time might feel some suspense!
Probably no surprise that Kizzy’s idea will be shown in Part 5 – A Succubus.
They were definitely easier to use than some of the prompts. I mean, I use juice in a whole load of my stories anyway, and the image of a body lying like jetsam feels like it works and may well have been used before. The next set are a bit harder, but I’m sure I’ll muddle through.
Thank you! Amended to landing! It was a last minute change from another phrasing and so didn’t get as much re-reading. D’oh
Thank you again for reviewing, I’m very grateful and it brightened my evening! I hope your tea was good, or is good, if it’s some kind of 8 course banquet you’re still feasting on as I type this.

It works fully! I definitely felt it. Don’t mind me, I’m a tough cookie, and furthermore I’m British therefore I understate. You should read ‘it touched my heart’ as: ‘I was suddenly transported to that bathroom, and I could feel all the same things she was feeling, and it hurt, and I wanted to put my arms around her and make it all right again.’ 
Ah… well, I just recently rewatched ‘Fallen’ and I kept imagining a lovely young Denzel Washington, so it was a bit of a surprise for me when he suddenly turned.
 

Well, going from nervousness over my handling of Kevin and Luzurial’s relationship to a wonderful review from pippychick is some serious Mood Whiplash.
Thank you so much!  So JayDee knows about this, but recall how you said during your review of Whore of Heaven how you have to feel things to write the stories you write?  Well, I work exactly like that too, very possibly moreso.  I’m kind of sensitive emotionally (which is why I asked for permission to write this story) and I actually made myself cry while writing this sequence, with Luzurial’s PTSD flashback and her breaking down crying in the bathroom.  I was hoping I would manage to communicate at least some of the emotions I was feeling, so I’m glad it worked at least partially.
I feel like it would be a pretty crappy hurt/comfort fic if I didn’t acknowledge just how badly hurt she is (not just physically) by the end of the first story.  I hope that what I’ve written going forward works for you.
Well, not exactly what happened to Shondra and Molly, but there are bad things in store for Cassie and Hobbs.
Speaking of which, now that you’ve reached this point, it’s time for another Names That Mean Something.
“Adrian” doesn’t really mean anything as far as the story is concerned, but “Hobbs” is an English surname derived from the medieval given name Hob.  Hob is a medieval short form of Robert, but “Old Hob” is a nickname for Satan, so you know...bad guy name.
Funny you should say that, because Barbara is like a microcosm of what happens to characters in Whore of Heaven.  She mostly resembles Luzurial, in that she’s an admirable female character committed to doing good who makes an honest mistake (Luzurial disobeys orders; Barbara assumes a dirty cop will surrender when caught instead of lashing out), suffers sexual violation, and then has something horrifically violent happen to her.  She’s also linked to Yolanda Dawson, since the horrifically violent thing is that Eparlegna eats her alive.  Very, very slowly, complete with hell magic to keep her alive until her disembodied head was swallowed.
At the very least, an eighteen meter dragon takes larger bites than an eight foot demon, so it took a little under ten minutes for her to be eaten (I think Yolanda was eaten over the course of an hour).
 I knew I forgot something!
Well, I wanted to have a big, climactic battle at the end of the story, so…
I did research.  Literally, I looked for things both here and on Literotica with the “tentacles” or “tent” tag and then tried to analyze what the authors were doing in the scene.  Some of them were pretty bad, but others were pretty good, and I did take some pointers for writing this one.
Gundam fanfiction.  That’s what I wrote over on fanfiction.net (and if I ever get my act together, I have more of that to write!), and it allowed me to practice writing prose as well as action scenes (the Gundam shows are space operas, so there’s lots of directed energy weapons and things blowing up).
Thank you so, so much!
I may very well faceplant before reaching the end.  As I mentioned in previous posts (I won’t spoil anything in this one) I’ve tried to gradually build up the relationship between Kevin and Luzurial in a way that doesn’t make him look like a creep or make her look weak, but my ability to mitigate the cliches is not guaranteed.  I hope it remains entertaining to read for you nonetheless.

Some places kept the old stuff going all through – there’s one place been doing a creepy-as-fuck hobby horse thing for centuries – but half the time you find yourself in some tiny village where they’re talking about the ancient tradition only to follow with “...and some pissartist hippies started it again in ‘78, and we kept it going because it’s an excuse to dress up and get shitfaced.”
It definitely worked. As in “Punch the air, holy fuck, that’s great!” worked.