pippychick

Hey @JayDee
Thank you so much for this review, and I completely understand about the minor2, it’s why the tag is there. For me, it is kind of fun recalling my younger self so that Nina can borrow her for a bit (I was terrible).
I’m glad the build up comes across well, nevertheless.
@Melrick and I added the setting to the summary, because you gave us a reminder.
I know I have so much catching up to do reading-wise (covers the ears of fate), and with any luck, this week could be my week, because I am really looking forward to it! I’m sorry I’ve been absent for such a long time now.

Ahh… JayDee, no. You made us realise we hadn’t mentioned it at all! Thank you

I’d have sworn it just said “country town” rather than “Australian country town” when I read it on the archive! I’m guessing it was right up against the side of the window and that’s how I missed it, hence the semi-query in my review. D’oh.

For Drawn Together
I’m very happy to hear you describe the story as realistic, because that’s what I was doing my best to achieve.  I don’t think gooey romance is really your thing too much, so i’m glad you were still able to come along for the ride. lol  I’m really glad that you read the whole thing and enjoyed it so much.  That makes me very happy!  Thanks for reading and reviewing. 

For Drawn Together
The Slash was pretty much a spur of the moment decision, like much of this story.  I’m surprised at how much of this feels like it largely wrote itself.  Definitely not my usual style of writing at all.  Thanks very much for reviewing! 

For Drawn Together
Thank you!  I’m glad you’re enjoying it all so much.  

For Drawn Together
 
Thank you for your review!  And I’m glad you enjoyed it.   The cleaning lady was pretty much a last minute, spur of the moment addition, and I tossed around which direction to take that scene, so I’m happy you approve of the direction it did go in, and how that scene went. 

She’s the one got him to turn into a chicken!
Thank you! I love that ya loved it.
Jude's Tale
Thank you for this review! I’m really glad the humor worked. I guess so far as the Monty Python bit goes, that’s not my humor but I nicked it anyway Jude was definitely the kind of guy who got drunk, rubbed one out to some AFF story and then didn’t leave so much as a “thanks for writing it” the dirty callous handed bastard.
Kizurial isn’t bad, but she’s definitely made some questionable decisions in her time in the belief that she was doing the right thing. She’s generally a good influence at least.
I hoped for fun, I got part 8 which had less jokes.
And thank you for this review! I think Jude’s got quite the job on his hands. I think their relationship would be an odd one, since the Duchess’ main aim now would be to corrupt him back into being her fuckboi pet, while still required to protect him, while Jude’s only interested in what she might become again. Kizurial’s hope is a) that she is redeemed and b) that dealing with Jude keeps her from being able to be as effective at interfering with other mortals or Kizzy and Shannon and co.
These characters are all free for others to use! InBrightestDay has an idea for a crossover at some point set after The Woman in the Statue which ought to be fun if it ever gets written. And then there’s an entirely non-canon “Shanon/Kevin/Luzurial” threesome we joked about, where Kevin gives the heartwarming tale of how they came to fall in love and respect and cherish each other, and Shannon’s so overcome with happiness for them she can barely ask dirty questions about how they first got to the boning.
 
Thank you! Always happy to hear when things made readers laugh
Thank you again! Shannon definitely not finding orgasm denial so pleasant to be on the receiving end.
And thank you again for reading, and reviewing. I guess the next thing I’d like to do with them is finish off the Blood on the Hay story, and maybe even another part or two of the original Slumber Party story to show what happened next on that fateful night after Eparlegna went to Hell. I also have a couple origin stories for Lupa and Shannon that I’m thinking on (I’ve got a chunk of “The Fall of Chastia” written already) but while my muse is only giving me the motivation to do the 1000 word flashfics/chapters for the prompts adding new parts to the early two fics with Kizzy and Co seems like a likely option.
I’ve jinxed it now. I may never write again.
...and I may have gone over the line a few times. Left it distantly behind me, invisible for the dust, and the blood, and the misery. Still, you’ve got to laugh. 
You’re a pretty shining high point of the site yourself!
 

Jude’s Tale has limped past 500 views! Quite a way to go to beat the 9587 views Naruto the Cluck managed just by using the beaten-to-death “Hinata cuckolds Naruto” trope. If I was in this just for the hits I’d just shit out Naruto crackfics until they got wise to me.
Thank you thank you thank you! I really liked how this one came out too. The Seraph absolutely hoped Jude would make the choice he did, but may not be entirely prepared for re-absorbing the mask and the impact it may have on her, such as certain more-human yearnings.
Thanks again! Shannon would probably take professional affront to that line, mind. “Someone doesn’t want me? I must try harder!”
I’m glad the ending felt right – It was the only way I could see to do it, though it doesn’t really make up for the bad things Jude did, it’s a tiny step in the right direction.
There was a bet. Shannon bet she could swallow more hot dogs than Wolf!form Kate, who took the bet forgetting that Shannon could swallow a lot without gagging. Oh! Wait, do you mean the Duchess’s promise? Yeah, there’s that That’ll be important later. 
Thank you again, I appreciate your reading and reviewing this story. I hope you’re making/have made good progress on that original you mentioned working on with CloverReef!

Review for Brick and Bone
@pippychick Aw you left a review too! That’s so sweet. God, I love ghost stories. Yet somehow whenever I write one it turns out like this. I’m so glad I managed to tether that MC to the reader, at least in your case, because even though he’s doing naughty things, I adore him so, and I want everyone else to adore him too. But I guess that could be said by most writers about most of their characters. Thank you so much, Pippy! 

Lol.  And the British side shines through.  I had to read your line about chuffed to bits twice.  Lol.  Being honest, if you really expanded this out (not saying you have to, it's fantastic as is), I think it would surpass King.  So, there's that.
I would hope no dogs were hurt...  I'd be so betrayed. 
And yep, the bookends you wrote were excellent and really showed how much he has changed and how much his torment has suffered him.
(And thank you, Pippy, for sharing!)
Awe, made you blush .  You're welcome for it.  .  If you decide to rewrite, let me know, I'd definitely want to read it.  And, honestly, I think the lack of pronouns would work just as well.  
It was well written.  I'm sad you didn't continue it.  I really want to read more of these two.  And it's an intriguing mythos you have so far.
Lol.  Hot is good.  If it's not what is needed in the scene, it falls flat.  You delivered on it all the way through.  
It's easy when the writing's great, Pippy.  But you're welcome all the same.  

I may have to wear sunglasses to view these shelves, all the attention they're getting.  Another from @pippychickon Blood Prize.
 
From pippychick on March 16, 2019
Part 9 - 11
I don't believe Chantal is dead, even if Kala does. It's just too awful, though I completely understand them leaving her - on her order. Better to lose one than lose all, but damn....
This thing they've picked up had better be worth it. I don't think they should just hand it over. Whatever it is, it's clearly important, and if Chantal is still alive, this thing might help to get her back.
I know... but I'm hoping...
 
Well, how can I start with an opening like that?  Lol.  I can't reveal a lot about following chapters or the characters involved, but I can say that you're going to enjoy them.
And definitely.  To quote Trek, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.  As much as Chantal may not seem like the greatest captain, her crew is first and foremost.
This Macguffin is...  Wait, almost had me.  Lol.  Let's just say it's important enough.
Hopefully you still enjoy it as the chapters go on.  Thank you for the review, Pippy, and look forward to the next.

Thank you tcr!
Wow… I have reminded someone of Stephen King. I have now reached the pinnacle of my powers, lol. Chuffed to bits about that, especially since I do love Thinner. It’s a great horror story.
Aww… no dogs were hurt in the writing of this story.
I’m glad that the relationship with Liz came through, and that you saw that echo in the  beginning and the end. Thanks again!
 

Thank you tcr!
Wow… I have reminded someone of Stephen King. I have now reached the pinnacle of my powers, lol. Chuffed to bits about that, especially since I do love Thinner. It’s a great horror story.
Aww… no dogs were hurt in the writing of this story.
I’m glad that the relationship with Liz came through, and that you saw that echo in the  beginning and the end. Thanks again!
 

@pippychick returns to review Part Six!
Thank you!  The torture and mocking line about her going back to Heaven was indeed meant to call back to WoH (even to a specific line of Eparlegna’s), as were the students set up like an audience.  When the barrier draws back in WoH, there’s a line about how some of the corpses are posed in grotesque parodies of life, which is what I was going for with the lecture hall.
Is it possible to catch diabetes from sheer cuteness?  Because if it is, then baby sloth compilations on Youtube have to be the leading cause.  Having said that, the Wrath creature was definitely meant to be as physically intimidating as possible.  I think the image I initially had was of a skinless, eyeless polar bear, but then I saw this picture that managed to make Megatherium look unintentionally terrifying, and I realized that if you took the long, curving claws that sloths have and attached them to something really aggressive, they’re suddenly not so cute anymore…
I’m also really glad you liked the way it’s defeated.  I couldn’t think of anything as clever as the way Abdul and Calista blow up the Charnel Spider, but thought that since anger is often self-defeating, maybe there was a way for the monster to kill itself, and that even if Kevin was absolutely terrified, he could still have enough presence of mind to make the knock-out-the-pillars plan work.
What’s upsetting her isn’t really what happened in the lecture hall; it’s what happened 75 years earlier.  She knows she let Eparlegna rape her again to save Kevin from being skinned alive, but a combination of the experience and the fact that Kevin saw it means that she feels that he now knows what she “did” back in Whore of Heaven, and this has to do with her sense of self-worth and the damage inflicted to it by the torture and rapes she suffered back then.
You noted that she feels more human during the car scene.  To some extent, I tend to write her more human from time to time because of the moments in WoH that I really liked, where we learned that Luzurial is actually very relatable in spite of being an archangel (very human, in other words)  I try to balance that with her immortality and superhuman nature, but sometimes I lean too far one way or the other.
Partly, though, I think her coming across as more human here is because of the emotionally vulnerable state she’s in at this moment.  If I may quote an earlier post of mine in this thread, Luzurial is...
So her sexual experience is a spot in which she is emotionally vulnerable, and I think she reads as more human in this scene because of that vulnerability.
Once again, thank you so much for the review! 

Well, I damn near had a heart attack...  4 reviews on Blood Prize...  Thought I read it wrong...  But nope, it was just @pippychick thoroughly enjoying them.  So, <cracks fingers>, this is going to be a long one, folks...  Strap yourselves in.
From pippychick on March 14, 2019
Parts 1 - 5
It's all very intriguing, and I really like the characters. You've got that sense of them all sharing close quarters and yet still somehow managing not to kill each other. This feels a little like Firefly at times, and I wonder at all the various reasons the crew have for being part of this.
The fictional language adds realism, and the little descriptive touches of the aliens are great! I love the engineer already. Actually couldn't help picturing the Orion woman from Star Trek TOS for Kala, but that's a good thing.
The sex was hot, if a little eye-watering! I wonder to what extent Kala's physiology effects Chantal. I guess it means she can take it and still walk, lol. But it was great fun. I only wish it lasted a little longer.
Aside from that, I'm sure they all know it's some kind of trap, but they're hoping to get out of it. Though I do wonder why Chantal expects the other Captain to keep her word about the pay (if they do somehow manage to pull it off).
Thank you for sharing this story
***
It's all very intriguing, and I really like the characters. You've got that sense of them all sharing close quarters and yet still somehow managing not to kill each other. This feels a little like Firefly at times, and I wonder at all the various reasons the crew have for being part of this.
Oh, I'm getting giddy...  That's still a thing, right?  I'm glad you like the close quarters, not yet killed each other vibe.  Firefly was definitely an inspiration (what with the failed missions and all) and another show, Dark Matter, was, too.  As for reasonings, some are drawn out as the tale goes along.
The fictional language adds realism, and the little descriptive touches of the aliens are great! I love the engineer already. Actually couldn't help picturing the Orion woman from Star Trek TOS for Kala, but that's a good thing.
Thank you so much.  I have spent a great deal on creating Straxi and I'm glad it worked well!  Lol.  I'm glad you love Hranik, he was intriguing to write.  And Kala...  Well, I'm a Trekkie (any doubt, read Star Trek Adventurer on my page...  Nerdgasm!)...  
The sex was hot, if a little eye-watering! I wonder to what extent Kala's physiology effects Chantal. I guess it means she can take it and still walk, lol. But it was great fun. I only wish it lasted a little longer.
lol.  I was worried the sex was going to be awkward.  Lol.  And, uh, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have her walk the morning after.  Lol.  But why eye watering?
Aside from that, I'm sure they all know it's some kind of trap, but they're hoping to get out of it. Though I do wonder why Chantal expects the other Captain to keep her word about the pay (if they do somehow manage to pull it off).
I kind of hoped the idea that Chantal doesn't want to meet in a controlled area presented her suspicions, but you're right.  Perhaps I should have made it more apparent.
Thank you for sharing this story
Thank you, Pippy, for reviewing.  And I hope you continue to enjoy (as much as your next reviews suggest).
***
And chapter 6:
From pippychick on March 14, 2019
 
Part 6
Chantal is cool and capable here, but I am loving the snark between Kala and Hranik with Chantal as referee and the only adult in the room, lol.
But what now? Are they discovered? I kind of thought there really was a mission, and that the other capt intended to get them later, once they'd performed their task.
Glad you continue to love the snark between the two.  I really wanted it to feel like just a crew that has grown to be family, especially considering what eventually happens. 
Lol.  As for the second bit...  That would be giving spoilers.  Lol.
***
From pippychick on March 14, 2019
 
Part Seven
So... Kala is the "Queen in exile"? That's interesting... what is she running away from??
I don't like this head of the military, but I have a strong feeling Kala can't do anything to him. I hope she's going to be okay.
That's the title those loyal to her have Kala.  Well Qas Ekalta (Exiled Queen), but humans and their translation issues.  As for what she's running from...  lol, you ask questions that I could only answer with spoilers.  Lol.
And I know you read ahead, but I hope you find Detar as creepily rapey as I intended.
***
From pippychick on March 14, 2019
 
Part Eight
Never easy, indeed, but since there are so many more chapters to go, I can be confident it doesn't end here. I was worried for Kala then, especially at this point: “I thought Straxians loved pain!” It's that attitude. Of course, there's much more to it than that, but this guy doesn't really care.
I wonder how they're going to get out of there.
Lol.  There's that.  Or maybe it does and it goes to Johannes' perspective?  Lol.  I am glad that the concern I wanted felt was for Kala.  And Detar's comment was a bit of a show of cultural misunderstanding (or, rather, in his case, just not caring about the intricacies of the culture).  As for getting out...  Guess you'll have to read to find out .
Thanks, Pippychick, all your reviews today, unexpected, but all appreciated.  I hope you continue to enjoy the Fortune crew's adventure.

Oh, boy, @pippychick, now look what you've done...  Clover's gone groping the electronics again.  Someone's gonna have her put in the psych ward.

I love this! It's got everything that's awesome in this world: words... A list. Don't mind me. I'm just going to spend all night groping this thing.

I thought some might find this interesting. Vermont University have tracked word usage on social media etc to create this, a listing that assigns a ‘happiness’ score to words.
http://hedonometer.org/words.html
I know it’s only one connotation, and probably not infallible, but if you’re trying to create a certain mood, where your descriptive work lies here might be helpful.

I thought some might find this interesting. Vermont University have tracked word usage on social media etc to create this, a listing that assigns a ‘happiness’ score to words.
http://hedonometer.org/words.html
I know it’s only one connotation, and probably not infallible, but if you’re trying to create a certain mood, where your descriptive work lies here might be helpful.

Judging from the words, I guess it depends on your thoughts, JayDee.  Although…
And @pippychick, this is an interesting list.  A quite helpful resource for any writer to use to help develop the mood (as you said) within scenes and over all story.  Thanks for bringing it here!

It says the word ‘death’ = happiness rank 10217 of 10222
 I wonder if words 10218 – 10222 are all related to spending time in the same room as Piers Morgan.

I thought some might find this interesting. Vermont University have tracked word usage on social media etc to create this, a listing that assigns a ‘happiness’ score to words.
http://hedonometer.org/words.html
I know it’s only one connotation, and probably not infallible, but if you’re trying to create a certain mood, where your descriptive work lies here might be helpful.

I thought some might find this interesting. Vermont University have tracked word usage on social media etc to create this, a listing that assigns a ‘happiness’ score to words.
http://hedonometer.org/words.html
I know it’s only one connotation, and probably not infallible, but if you’re trying to create a certain mood, where your descriptive work lies here might be helpful.

One downside here is that sexualized stories with explicit depictions of both rape and violent, gory death don’t always get a whole lot of feedback on AFF. Oh folks’ll read ‘em right enough, just a lot won’t say anything.