pippychick

Well… I’ve been taking a break watching Lucifer, because I went out and got the DVD today. I love Tom Ellis. But… I couldn’t help myself. To be honest, I think it still sounds like them.

[An unusually large and fearfully well-armed woman is decorating a Christmas tree, when she is disturbed by an unusually large man]

ROGER: [A man who is not a Knight] “A fucking Christmas tree. Does it have to sparkle like that?”

BELLA: [A woman who is also not a Knight] “Yes, of course it does! Oh wait, it should be twinkling too.”

BELLA: [Messes with the plug socket. Lights begin twinkling.] “There.. isn't it pretty?”

ROGER: [pulls a face]

BELLA: “Here, hang some knights on it.”

ROGER: [rather more cheerfully] “Oh, well. All right then.”

[ENTER a VIKING, also of unusually large size]

VIKING: “What the fuck is that?”

BELLA: “It's a Christmas tree. It's to do with Christ being born.”

VIKING: “You southern twats are always inventing Gods. I think you long to be taken in hand, all of you.”

ROGER: “Fuck off!”

VIKING: [touches one of the tree branches] “Oh yeah? What's this then?”

BELLA: [smiles with delight] “Artificial snow.”

VIKING: [looks utterly aghast] “Artificial snow? Right. That's it. I give in.”

ROGER: “What?”

VIKING: [cracks knuckles and pats knee] “Come here. I'm going to give both of you exactly what you want... you can say you're getting it for Christmas.”

Brilliant!

Sounds like someone’s going to be getting “a damn good rogering”.