GeorgeGlass

Thanks! As plot devices go, nothing compares to the -inators; writing in other fandoms has forced me to be more creative.
I think 69 would be a little too advanced for them. Connie probably understands only the basic idea, and to Steven, it’s just the number before 70.
As for getting right down to intercourse, sexual arousal was only one component of that. They were also desperate to be as close together as possible.
No, you’re quite correct.
Connie probably knows that she’s too young to get pregnant (which I assume she is, given that’s she’s twelve -- maybe even eleven, since this story takes place in Season 1 -- and shows no sign of having reached puberty). Also, putting a layer of rubber between them seems counter to the purpose of their having sex. Lastly, it would introduce a hard-to-resolve plot problem: If Connie asked for a condom, there would be no one to supply it. And then what would she do?
Thanks! I love writing comedy, and given that SU is as much a comedy as it is an action drama, I don’t feel like an SU fanfic can be faithful to the show if it doesn’t include a good chunk of humor.
I’m not planning a follow-up, but one never knows.
Thank you. For many of these fandoms, I feel like I’m just rounding out the characters, because they would surely have sexual thoughts, feelings, and curiosity -- issues that can’t be explored in much depth in canon.
It’s a high compliment that you’re interested in reading my stuff even when it’s in a fandom that doesn’t interest you. Thanks again.

Well, I’m pleased that you read it and liked it somewhat even though it’s not your favorite fandom. Thanks!
I watched an episode (or two, depending on how you slice it), and it didn’t grab me. I might try another one or two before I pass final judgment.
That said, I have found a new ‘toon that I like: Mighty Magiswords. The artwork isn’t awesome, and the pace is a bit frenetic, but the rapid-fire dialogue is often witty. I’m working on a fic for it now.
I’m also incubating an idea for a Milo Murphy fic. It involves a mysterious villain from the future who, for reasons unknown, is trying to make Milo and Melissa get together.

Yeah, I get it. The dude who does the voice of the grandma in squidbillies does it well like that too, by not making it a big joke about a man’s voice on a woman. (My sentence structure ran away on me there, hope it still makes sense lol.)

Two episodes ought to be enough. I completely agree that the animation is terrible, and there seems to be a deliberate effort to make every major character as unattractive as possible (a la Clarence). Also, I’m sick of female characters who are obviously voiced by men. Maybe that was funny for the first four or five decades of cartoon history, but it’s definitely a trope that needs to retire.

I can't honestly say I'm a fan of the show. I think the animation is bland, the characters are generic and the voice acting is lazy. I also don't think it's funny nor do I think it's that we'll written. Overall, it's just another "adult" cartoon that just doesn't work for me.

Not bad, not bad at all. Usually, I'm not much of a fan of Steven Universe, but this one is pretty good.
Now, I wonder if I might ask how you liked the story I sent you or if you thought Johnny Test worth a look? Personally, as I said before, I thought you'd like it and possibly find it better material than Milo Murphy.

Thank you! And thanks for leaving a review in the archive, too.
Glad you liked the story. Cute and funny were definitely things I was trying for.
The memory-wipe was necessary to make the story compatible with canon, given that the story is set 3 seasons ago. But I’m glad that didn’t ruin it for you.

I suppose a corollary of what y’all have been saying about hooking the target audience is that different types of stories call for different types of summaries. The summary for a funny story ought to be at least a little bit funny itself, whereas the summary for a mystery ought to be mysterious. 

this was a fantastic story! love the idea, really cute and the ending was funny. kinda wish garnet didn't wipe there memory though

I’d suggest using an introductory phrase, rather than trying to do it solely with punctuation and/or onomatopoeia. Maybe like this: “Punctuating every word with another stinging slap to her ass, he shouted, ‘You! Will! Behave!’”

I thought folks might enjoy seeing some author notes about “Whoops”:

“Whoops” contains the longest continuous sex scene I've ever written. This was not my original plan; I had intended to gloss over some of the encounters and focus on others. But in the course of writing the story, I couldn't bring myself to shortchange any of the Loud sisters (except Lily, but most readers are probably okay with that).

In the original draft of chapter 1, I had Lisa say that the menstrual cycles of women who live together tend to synchronize (something even my wife believed was true). But Fairy Slayer, who betaed “Whoops” for me, pointed out that that's a myth, so I rewrote Lisa's dialogue as appropriate. (This was not the first time that FS pointed out a scientific inaccuracy in one of my stories; he also noted a fallacious statement about black holes and Hawking radiation in “Dark Dreams, Forbidden Fantasies.”)

The idea to make Lisa's comment “I can do a lot of things” a recurring line also came from Fairy Slayer.

The “Amazinger T action figures” that Lincoln plans to leave to Clyde in chapter 2 are a reference to the Mazinger Z manga, anime, and toys from the 1970s. (I included this line because Lincoln seems to have a fondness for toy robots.)

Boyz Will Be Boyz, whose members’ voices Lisa uses to lure the other girls away from Lincoln's door, is the band from Lori's first concert in the episode “For Bros About to Rock.”

Lincoln uses a different position with each of his sisters: Lori, cowgirl; Leni, missionary; Luna, on their sides; Luan, sixty-nine; Lynn, various (as they wrestle for who will be on top); Lucy, sitting on Lincoln's lap; Lana, reverse cowgirl; Lola, sitting on the dresser; and Lisa, doggystyle.

Lincoln's discovery that Lucy has blue eyes was a cheat on my part, because on The Loud House, none of the characters’ eyes have irises -- just pupils and whites. This style of drawing eyes was also used in Gravity Falls.



Lisa's comment that “most lagomorphs do not have an estrous cycle” (in response to Lana shouting “Fuck my butthole! Fuck it like a jackrabbit in heat!”) came to me because of a Zootopia fanfic I had read in which Judy Hopps goes into heat. At the time, I thought, “Rabbits don't do that, do they?” so I looked it up, and indeed, they do not. Rather, female rabbits ovulate whenever they have intercourse, which is how they can crank out so many little rabbits.
The lordosis reflex that Lisa mentions in chapter 6 is a behavior common among mammalian species, in which the female gets into a sway-backed body posture in preparation for intercourse. Humans don't actually have this reflex, but given both Lisa's substantial experience with lab animals and her desire to have sex “in the fashion commonly associated with Canis familiaris,” I figured she might enjoy including it as role-play.

In chapter 6, when the girls start to freak out upon realizing that they didn't use any birth control when they had sex with Lincoln, Lisa replies that “There's no need for hysterics.” This is a bit of word play on Lisa's part, as the word hysterics comes from the Greek word hystera, meaning “uterus.”

My initial reason for making Pythagoras a mouse (rather than a rat, which, to my mind, seems like a more appropriate subject for a study of intelligence) was that there was going to be this bit of dialogue at the end between Lincoln and Lisa:

“So, how did your project with Pythagoras turn out?”

“I'm afraid the experiment had to be terminated. The research ethics committee wouldn't approve it, on the grounds that hyper-intelligent laboratory mice always try to take over the world.”

As amusing as this Pinky and the Brain reference might have been, the implied killing of Pythagoras seemed like too much of a downer for the ending of this light-hearted fic, so I didn't include it.

Finally, if you liked this story, stay tuned: I've got a new fic in the works titled The Loud House After Dark.

Thank you! Lisa Loud is my role model.
The fact that there's a mad scientist in the family, along with the advantages of cartoon logic, were among the main reasons why I decided that doing a Loud House porn story was a good idea. Plus, so many sisters...
I've never even heard of it. I'll have to look into it.
In writing fanfics, I always try to include what seem to be the essential elements of the show--and then put a porny spin on them, of course.
Lana's a fun character to write.
Wow, high praise! You know, assuming that you meant literally-literally and not Lori-literally.
It's totally fun! It's like being able to play with another kid's toys. Like, a kid from a way better neighborhood.
Thanks so much for the review!

A few author’s notes about “Hot Yoga”:
 
I deliberately wrote it to be different from my previous Phineas and Ferb fanfics in a couple of ways:
It is light on plot and very heavy on porn.
It features only B-list characters. (Stacy is the only arguable A-lister in the bunch, but I consider her an A-minus-lister at most because she doesn't appear in every episode of P&F.)
 
Even though I wrote about a dozen Phineas and Ferb fics before this one, some of the characters in “Hot Yoga” don't appear in any of my previous stories (Dr. Hirano, Monty Monogram, Balthazar Horowitz, Melanie), and others make only brief appearances (Jenny, Coltrane).
 
This is the first time I've ever written a full-on orgy. Although I've written stories involving threesomes, or multiple couples having sex at the same time, I had never before written about a group of people who all have sex with one another in various ways and combinations. Making this work required a huge amount of outlining -- not only to keep track of who was doing what with whom, but also to time events such that characters would be ready to switch partners at the right moment.
 
Dr. Hirano has no first name in canon. I considered giving her one for the sake of this story, but given how many characters are involved, I didn't want to give readers one more thing to keep track of throughout the story. So the character is simply referred to as “Dr. Hirano” throughout.
 
I kept the ratio of male to female characters low because, given that the incense seems to induce bisexuality along with horniness, I didn't want to have to do a lot of plot-gymnastics to avoid having any guy-on-guy action. Not that I never write that sort of thing, but for whatever reason, I'm generally only comfortable writing it for furry characters. Also, judging from the people who comment on my P&F stories, the readership seems to be entirely male and mostly straight, so I don't think many people were reading “Hot Yoga” in the hope of seeing some Monty-Coltrane action, anyway.
 
That said, there was a time or two when I was writing this story when I wanted a female character to take on two or three guys at once, and I found myself muttering, “Damn it, there's not enough dicks to go around.”
 
Overall, though, I'm pretty happy with the results. I hope y'all were, too.

Glad you enjoyed “Hot Yoga.”
I’ve never watched Johnny Test. It’s not still on the air, is it?

For anyone who is following this story, I just posted the fourth and final chapter this morning.

There are actually three chapters posted already. I estimate that the fourth and final chapter will be ready to post in about two weeks.
Glad you’re enjoying it!

First, my apologies for the lateness of this reply. I did write a response, but somehow either I never posted it or I deleted it by accident.
In any case, onward!
From Jomahawk2694 on May 20, 2017
Okay, I clearly need to watch more of that sort of thing.
You know me so well. Given that this was my first Miraculous story, I wanted to stick to the show's formula as much as possible, because that's part of the challenge and the fun. Plus, having a structure to work with gives me direction in writing the plot.
Good one!
The formula for fights on that show seems to involve lots of leaping around and very little actual violence, so I went with that.
You make a good point. I couldn't really think of what to do with Miss Match after she bound the two heroes together, so I just had her standing there watching. Your idea might be better.
I'll do my best. Thanks for another motivational review!
P.S. I think I’ve just figured out what the problem was with my original reply: The forum software won’t let me post a message that has a “thumbs up” icon in it. I probably didn’t notice the error message when I first tried to post and then logged out without confirming that the reply had posted.

I don’t generally like to age up characters. I feel like, if I wanted to write fanfic about of-age characters, then I would pick some who are already of age in canon. (Come to think of it, Milo’s mom is awfully hot...)
That said, there could be some interesting time-travel stuff with the young characters’ future selves. More food for thought.

The trouble is, the characters are still going to act like themselves in those situations. If Zach or Melissa lose their clothes, they’re just going to hide behind the nearest curtain, trash can, or pistachio cart until somebody gives them something to wear—probably Milo, who will have a spare change of clothes, rain poncho, and/or radiation suit in his backpack.
As for heroic rescue, are you talking about the “You saved me, how about some thank-you sex?” scenario? If so, same basic problem: I can’t really see these characters getting it on without some really far-out reason.
Now there’s always the “strange foreign substance that makes you horny and/or uninhibited” device, which could easily come about if Milo’s bad luck causes the wrong two trucks full of chemicals to crash. But I feel like I’ve kind of been there and done that with “Whoops” and “Hot Yoga.”
One thought occurs, though: The one other potential source of plot devices on MML besides Murphy’s Law itself is all the time travel that goes on. I will think on this.

An addendum to my reply to Nautiscaraider's comments: One of the chief reasons why I haven't taken a crack at writing a Milo Murphy's Law fic is that MML doesn't have a handy plot-driving (or smut-driving, if I'm honest) mechanism like Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous, or The Loud House have. I'm not sure how to make anything sexy come out of Milo's disaster-magnetism. Plus, the kids on MML actually act like kids; they show little of the precocity that characterizes a lot of the young characters on the other shows, which makes it more difficult to believably portray them doing anything sexual. I might have an idea for a short, non-lemony MML story, though.

Thank you! And thanks for your review in the archive, too.
Yes, the way that magic works in the Miraculous universe gives pervy fanfic writers like myself a lot of room to twist things up without violating the basic premises of the show.
I would very much like to write a Milo Murphy’s Law fic. I’m just waiting for the right idea to come to me.

Thank you! Being faithful to the characters is always a top priority for me.
I tried to make this story as much like an episode of the show as I could (partly by including all of the typical elements: an akumatized villain, the use of the heroes’ powers like Cataclysm and Lucky Charm, etc). I think that helped me make the dialogue sound genuine, because the characters were in a kind of situation that they often encounter on the show (albeit with an erotic twist). For example, it was easy to think of what Cat Noir might say to taunt the villain, because taunting villains is kind of his thing.
I only write fanfic about shows with which I'm very familiar, because I’m kind of compulsive about getting the characters right. And because speaking in their voices is part of what makes writing fanfic so much fun.
Thanks for the review!

Either way, I'm extremely flattered. Thank you!

Wow. I’ve written more than 70 stories; you must be a voracious reader! And I’m astounded that there’s only one that you disliked.

That's the idea; it's such aberrant behavior that it makes Tikki and Plagg realize that something is wrong.
They're such complete opposites in personality and they way they interact with their humans, it seems likely that they wouldn't get along.