Kurahieiritr

Myth: If you are on the Wrestling Team, you're a Gay.
Fact: This Myth made me sad during High School, due to the me and team getting hit by the stereotype.. Sure there's Spandex and Grope like action in there but them amount of aderenline going through you sorta makes you forget everything. But no, they are mostly straight, or think they are straight at the time.
Myth: All Gays use Product and get snazzy haircuts.
Fact: Not really, people are people. Straight people can care about there hair more than some gays do, and vice versa.
Myth: Hate sex is the same thing as two people going at each other's throat/trying to kill each other and than having sex.
Fact: People, People People! That's not hate sex, that's...well actually That's more like having bipolar/Multiple personalities disorders and having sex. Hatesex is when two people that strongly dislike each other or annoy each other. And yes, it is better than normal Sex for some reason.
.....
*goes off to find a certain friend to annoy* >D

Okay, I am TOTALLY loving this thread. All these myths.....this is EXACTLY why I made my story here on AFF, to counter all those stereotypes. Look at my characters! One can't stop saying the word "dude", and the other cusses like a sailor! Neither have a lisp, both don't wear designer clothes, would NEVER touch a martini, one likes "shooting hoops with the guys", etc. The power shuffle in this story is totally throwing people off track, I know. "OMG! There's no definite uke! How will we know who will be on top!? Who's the 'husband' in this relationship?" Okay, enough talking and self-promoting. Here's another myth/truth.
Myth: All gay guys have ONLY female friends.
Truth: Sorry, rabid fangirls, no. A gay guy is totally capable of making friends (and not buck fuddies) with other guys, including straight guys. It's a little bit harder to make friends with straight guys, as it depends on the straight guy's willingness to be friends with a gay guy, but it is still possible.
BTW: My mom says that I need to have MORE stereotypical qualities, like cleanliness, fashion, and always siding with her in an argument. That's just NOT going to happen.

Myth: sex, and particularly the first time, is always mind-blowing and absolutely wonderful, especially when people are insanely in love with each other;
Truth: ability to achieve and give sexual satisfaction is something people learn; usually sex gets better and more fulfilling when they "train" it

I must be really old-school because this isn't true. Yaoi is the anime catch-all term for male/male relationships. It includes shounen-ai, shotakon, non-con, anything with m/m sex. Shounen-ai is specifically the sweeter side of things, like kissing, holding hands, and WAFF stuff; if clothes come off, it becomes yaoi. Yaoi stands for Yami nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi = without climax, without resolution, without meaning. The unfortunate collection of cliched romance stories with defined roles is due to the writers generally being 14 year old girls.
As far as I ever knew (cause apparently this has changed) slash is any kind of a pairing fic. It's specifically a shipping fic, even if it's rape because you are slashing two characters; i.e. Hermione/Snape. Slash could be m/m, f/f, m/f, or f/m. Like yaoi, the order is important because like it or not, there is always a leader in a relationship. It can switch off constantly and the degree of who is running the show can be very slight. The best relationships are the ones where is doesn't feel like one is dominate or submissive, but your other half is complimentary to your weaker areas. Even then, what someone desires in bed can be comepletely different than way s/he is like outside the bedroom. If I find the name of the transgender study that I've read I'll post it. To sum up, the Japanese display of imposing heterosexual gender roles to a same-sex couple seems to be a societal compulsion to be "normal". (National motto: The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.)
Anywho. Slash today seems to be defined as m/m since people use labels like femslash and hetslash. Yaoi is specifically anime m/m, but it isn't just the dime-store romance novels.
To add to the collection...
MYTH: Gays have a lisp.
Truth: Homosexuality does not require a speech impediment. It was a fad that has thankfully faded along with that limp wrist movement.

you just ruined my fantasy that if I would be a gay man I would have sex all the time. Shame on you! jk

That's like:
Myth: all lesbians love beer, soccer and drive a Harley
Truth: er- nope *pushing beer away with a disgusted face and turning [nonexcisting] TV off* (okay, I'd like to have the Harley though)
I have another one (I hope it's not here already and I just forgot it):
Myth: all women are able to orgasm sorely from being penetrated
Truth: some don't and need to have their clit stimulated as well

I like this topic. There are lots of myths out there aren't there? There are a lot of ignorant people out there that think since I'm bi I'm a sex machine. While I do have a very high sex drive, I don't think my orientation has anything to do with it. And people are either shocked or think I'm lying when I say I haven't had hot sex with my gay friends. For some reason people seem to think that two gay men in a room together should just naturally start fucking like wild animals on the livingroom floor.
And I hate it when people ask me for fashion or decarating tips. Do they know me? Right now I'm wearing blue pajama pants and a whilte sweatshirt with a ketchup stain on it. I had a cheeseburger and fries for lunch. Oh yea, I know so much about fasion and fine dining.
I once new a guy that was the very definition of a "flamer". He made me bang my head off of tables. I have femine qualities and masculine qualities both. But neither of us are feminine. We don't have dom/sub roles. I'm mostly the submissive one, but I get dominant streaks.

I just fumbled over something else but it's not strictly for lesbians:
Myth: all women have multiple orgasms
Truth: you wish
And what is that rumour about two people involved have to orgasm at the same time for it to be perfect?

Well I wasn't saying that they would necessarily have dominant and submissive roles, mainly that in a lot of stories I read, there's always one person who's 'experienced' and a 'virgin'. The virgin normally being a woman (Or for yuri or f/f stories, it's the younger one most often.) and she's always.. Always submissive, in a sense where she just lays back and acts shy the entire time. It's just a myth it seems, that the 'first timer' will just lay back and let the other person please her.
And it's the exact opposite with male 'first timers' in stories I've read, they always seem to be given a dominant role, and almost always know what they're doing. I would like to see more realistic stories, I guess is why I was pointing both of those out. The male dominance in hetero stories is in about 9/10 that I read, and back when I used to read yaoi, yuri, m/m or f/f stories (Before I got bored of them.) it was the same damned thing every time, the younger one who's either experimenting or is with his/her first partner, is always just laying there.
Hell, to go with the 'top and bottom' thing that it's most male/male stories... You can be on top and be submissive, so... Well I don't know where I was going with this sentence, but I'm at an extreme lack of tea at the moment.

It's not more likely for lesbian relationships... see my comments above. If anything, a lot of lesbian women are trying to get away from the "sexual roles" straitjacket (pun intended). For all lesbians, active/passive roles aren't gender-related, and for many lesbians, such roles are a matter of invented roleplaying akin to, "let's pretend I'm the pizza delivery girl..." or just plain irrelevant.
I've had one "first time" and was lucky enough to be the first for three wonderful women. Dom/sub didn't enter the equation for any of those experiences. In all of them, we were experimenting mutually with what felt good.
I do know one couple that plays dom/sub sometimes, but they don't always keep the same roles. It's a game. One can have bondage and/or D/S games without one person being dominant... it often just varies by who's in what mood on a given night. Often, couples take turns.
I tend to think of lesbian sex as a mutual process, rather than a dom/sub dynamic.

Ah, I've got one I dont' think I've seen here yet. This applies to hetero and non-hetero relationships.
Myth: A dominant man is always experienced.
Fact: No. That's just not true, it could be his first time and he could be dominant. In fact, I'm tired of reading stories that have a male dominant role, and he seems to know exactly what he's doing, then he ends up saying something like "It was my first time." after they're done.
Myth: Women are always submissive their first time. (I guess this might work for lesbian relationships.)
Fact: No, some prefer to take the dominant role, and are even more comfortable with it, since they can go at their own pace.

Myth: Lesbians have short hair.
I don't see that so much in fanfic, because there's so little of it, but... aha. ahahaa. Not most of the ones I know.
Myth: Lesbians are butch or have fixed dom/sub roles.
I've never met a bona-fide fem. I've only met one or two honest-to-gosh butches. And I went to a women's college where there was a very out queer community. The last two generations of lesbians have basically chucked gender and sexual role differentiation out the window, as far as I can see.
Corollary to a myth posted above: All people who write het porn are het.
Um, no. Surprise!
Myth: Women squirt gobs of "juice" when they orgasm.
In my limited experience of four including me, no. Maybe a little more moisture at that point, but usually they're already wet, and then they're... wet.
Myth (mostly in porn movies): Lesbians have long, painted nails.
Ow. Nope -- if you ever see a woman with all the fingernails on one hand kept short, there's a good chance she's either lesbian or a guitar player.
Myth: Lesbian sex always involves penetration.
Actually no. I know someone who doesn't like it.
Myth: All women are turned on by having their breasts touched.
Actually, no. Again, I know someone who dislikes it, and apparently someone forgot to connect up my nerve endings in that area, 'cause I really can't tell.
Myth: All lesbians are young women learning about their sexual identities.
Yep, most started out that way, but... gray hair, people. It happens. My relationship lasted 13 years, and... here's a photo of a bona-fide lesbian couple. Are they not ADORABLE? That's one of my professors and her ever-so-cool partner of many years.
Also of course there's the amusing convention in porn that women never have periods (apparently), and at any rate that they wouldn't have sex during their periods. I fondly remember a pixie-ish dyke at my college commenting brightly, "That's the best time!"
And can I just say "amen" to the "bis are not promiscuous" comments above?
Much to the consternation of the person who's been trying to get me to be more than a friend for a year... nope.

Just wanted to add my two cents to this...
That's not exactly the most comfortable feeling, trying to go a second time while still hard. It actually begins to get painful, not that it's too 'intense', and I would recommend that you not ask your man to try that, gay or straight. Just give him fifteen minutes or so and he should be able to go again. (Depending on the guy.)

The following myths are brought to you by: My little brother ^^; who hates the fact I'm bi.
Myth: People who write or read Yaoi/Yuri can turn gay if they were straight to begin with
Truth: This is not true, I know for a fact that a lot of people are straight and write yaoi and or yuri stuff and are still straight. Just cause they write it doesn't mean they will eventually fall in love with it and demand to turn gay/lesbian just because they've written a lot of those kinds of stories.
Myth: People who are bi are actually fully gay or fully lesbian.
Truth: Not true. I'm bi and I like both guys and girls. I perfer guys more so, but I still like girls. It also doesn't mean that they say they are bi just to hide the fact they are gay and/or lesbian.
Myth: All gay people are going to hell because it says so in the Bible.
Truth: *I know...I opened a can of worms but my brother tells me this all the time ^^; *
This is not true. The Bible does have a few verses that say its wrong; but the Bible does also have times where one line might say one thing and later have something that is the complete opposite of what was stated earlier....so yeah ^^; that's what I say about that haha.
(EDITED)
Myth: All gay guys know about fashion, hair products, ect.
Truth: That is not always the case. For instance, today I made this mistake by asking one of our gay employees if he happened to know if Damion Christofer *a hair care company* and TG-John Freiddia were run by the same company. He did not know the answer; meaning that not all gay people know that stuff ^^; making me feel bad haha.

Reading slash, it is obvious that many people who are writing slash have never actually participated in the acts they describe, especially anal sex. So, because I really have nothing better to do this morning, I'll poke a few holes, figuratively speaking. Please forgive me if I'm covering something someone else has said.
1. Myth: Anal sex always hurts and causes bleeding.
--Um...Come on. If it was that unpleasant, why would people do it at all? Obviously, it feels good to many people (yes, I have and I like it!) Lubrication, patience on the part of the "top" and relaxation on the part of the "bottom" make things go smoothly. Going too fast or skipping the lube can be unpleasant...very. Small tears in the skin sometimes happen, but they don't bleed much and are usually caused by not enough lube or going too fast.
2. Myth: Condoms aren't needed if the characters are in a committed relationship.
--STD's aside...Condoms help quite a bit. There is bacteria in the rectum that could cause plain old normal infections for the "top" if there is a break in the skin somewhere or it might possibly work its way up the urethra. That is why women are always told to "wipe from front to back" after using the toilet. Also, condoms decrease the amount of friction to the "bottom," even more so if they are lubricated, which I personally recommend. Condoms are also great for keeping insertable toys clean.
3. Myth: (Flip side of #1) No preparation or lubrication is needed and the characters can go at it all night. No...How much preparation or lube is needed varies a lot, and I have heard that some veterans can go with no prep or lube whatsoever...But, I suspect some boasting is involved. There is no natural lubrication there, so things are going to chafe, eventually. Unless the characters are super human or nonhuman, they are going to need rest periods and repeated applications of lube.
By the way -- men do sometimes stay hard after ejaculation and can go a second time without a rest period. But, it's not something that you can expect or count on. If you start again right away, it will probably take quite a bit longer for him to reach orgasm than the first time, or he may not be able to reach it at all. Continued stimulation can help encourage this, but some men find being stimulated directly after orgasm too intense and won't go for it. (Bummer!)

Hmmm I've got a few things to say here. First, I don't get into yaoi, I read a fair bit of it when I was trying to figure out what it was, and I liked it but it isn't something I would seek out again and again. What I did gather from research and reading though, is that unlike slash, Yaoi seems to follow a formula, there are certain requirements for Yaoi to actually be classed as Yaoi, i.e. a long haired man who beats the crap out of a smaller short haired male because that will make him fall in love with him
Like most people I know that in real life that isnt necessarily the case, but still, writing Yaoi seems to be an artform that can be learned and developed by following a process or formula much like you would have to to learn how to grow bonsai trees or write an academic essay and etc. So having come to realised that, I can appreciate Yaoi as an expression of art, it's just not the kind of art that I seek out personally.
Also, I've noticed that alot of people have been saying that there is no top or bottom in a relationship. I haven't actually researched this but I do have a friend who is a sexual psychologist and according to him, every relationship - hetro, gay or otherwise- has a top and a bottom, rather, there is always one partner who is more dominant than the other.
It's not to say that the less dominant partner is weak or that the dominant one is strong, they can still be equals but they do have very different roles in the dynamics of their relationship and for the most part, there is definitely a top and a bottom and what's more, it's reversable and interchangable, so for eg, one might have the say on the couple's finances, the other might have the say on where they live, or whose job will benefit them as a couple the most etc etc etc. In regards to gay men, it might even extend to that one parner might want to take it when he usually gives it, and visa versa. But in all relationships...unless one partner has two penises, there will always be a top and a bottom and for a relationship to be successful, there has to be one who will give in more often and take it...or may actually prefer to take it, or give it...now this is getting confusing ... but anyway, it's like day and night, I think it's inescapable that there has to be a top and a bottom, at least, in a relationship that is built to last.

Um... Actually, I was under the impression that the silly rules of most yaoi manga was more of a trend than the definition of the term. I see varying degrees of the seme/uke bullshit happening in some of the stories. Honestly, I think it all comes down to the preference of the manga-ka in question.
I mean, when you break it down, the term yaoi only refers to the portrayal of an m/m relationship complete with smut. When you take it as the anacronism, there's the suggestion that all yaoi amounts to is pwp.

I am married to a transvestite male.
I would describe my husband as being bisexual with a preference for women and a generally hetero lifestyle. He enjoys fantasizing about men and has had some m/m experience. But, in terms of ongoing relationships, he prefers women.
He dresses in women's clothing only in private or in anonymous settings. It is an intense sexual turn on for him. It turns me on only in the sense that I enjoy seeing him so into things. For me it is either neutral or a slight turn off depending on the situtation, how much into drag he's gone, and my mood at the time.
I dis-like the term "bi-curious" but it probably does actually describe my own sexual orientation. Almost all my real life experiences have been hetero. I do have sexual feelings and thoughts for other women, but am more likely to fantasize about men. I have flirted with women on a few occasions and have subbed for a female dominant in non-sexual play. Unfortunately, I have never had an opportunity to explore those feelings in real life, as I haven't found anyone with whom attraction and opportunity were mutual.

Little off-topic: I am actually happy to report that I recently read a yaoi manga that had little to no traces of the seme/uke bullshit whatsoever. In fact, in the most explicit sex scene it was the guy who might have been considered the seme of the relationship who was topped. So yay to that, yes?

Hmm....
Well, I was trying to insert IT'S A TRAP into a story.
Then if the guy who's attracted to the girl who turns out to be a tranny was straight at the beginning, he would go limp at the sight of another penis. (EXAGGERATION).
That suggests a few things, anyway. Let's see how I can work around that...

Can I ask a question? Do the majority of yaoi stories on AFF.net exaggerate male relationships?
Seriously, I've seen a couple that just pass the line. Like you've mentioned on here, I read one story where two gay men were fighting one second and were engaged in intercouse... God, it's like all yaoi stories nowadays are the same.
Also, I've seen how poor some stories are. I swear, non-homosexual fan girls shouldn't write stories if they don't know what they're talking about. I dislike screaming yaoi fangirls...

I have to say that I have someone in my family that thinks all of these myths are true, and quite a few more as well.
Her favorite ones...
Myth: All homosexual people are pedophiles.
Truth: Just because you like the same sex does not mean you are more predisposed to this. If anything, there might be a few less - I don't know as I haven't really done a lot of research on it.
Myth: All homosexuals are just "mixed" up and need someone to show them the right way to act.
Truth: There is no right or wrong way to act or be when it comes to sexuality as long as your partner is of age and you're not hurting anyone.
Myth: Homosexuality is a disease that can be cured.
Truth: Give me a fucking break! Even if down the road we find out that it's a genetic disposition it's not a disease. It's how you feel, what you believe to be right, what you prefer, and above all how you are. There is no cure because there's nothing wrong with it.
And my favorite one of all (which she throws at me all the time)-
Myth: If you can write M/M or F/F relations then you must have dabbled in it at some point.
Truth: Just because I've done my research, talk to people, and write about M/M or F/F doesn't mean I've dallied. I'm female - and I love cock. That's not to say I'm not curious about the opposite side of the coin, it just means that I haven't found anyone I found to be attractive to try it out with.

Myth: Most folks are only bisexual because they can't seem to find a sexual relationship with the opposite gender.
Fact: You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard this. For some people, gender flat out just doesn't matter. Bisexuality is just another orientation.
Myth: Gay men are easy.
Fact: Yeah, there are a few downright sluts out there, and I do know a few, but come on, people. Just because I'm gay, and you're gay, it doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.

MYTH: People who write slash or M/M or F/F must be homosexual.
FACT: Writers of any sexual preference can write just about anything and everything. Just because you write a slash fanfic doesn't make you homosexual. I am heterosexual and I've written just about every sexual preference.

M/M Fantasy/Adventure Romance
Ghost's Dilemma by Morwen Navarre
While the beauty of the story and writing was clear, once I was done I felt like I had read a classic, full of beauty, love and strong messages about life, personality and the value of humans.

Magical, intense at times, fast paced and fascinating. ~***~ "You blush and you growl. I want to keep you like you are just then. All smooth, bare skin and pink cheeks. Your eyes shining up at me brighter than your witchmark." "Moon shine on me, Ghost. When you look at me like this, how can I even think of anything but making love to you?" Ghost is content to spend all his free time in bed with Gerry. But scandal and hate surrounding Ghost's appointment as the first male witch and a deadly epidemic force Ghost to make choices that might cost him Gerry's love. Use the coupon code "sweetheart2015" at Torquere Press to get Ghost's Dilemma for 15% off http://goo.gl/Ngn2xU Ghost's Sight is on sale for a limited time http://goo.gl/w1WDRL Amazon http://goo.gl/Qf7k4r
Goodreads http://goo.gl/aaXfkB Angel Edits' Blog http://angeledits.blogspot.com/p/ghosts-dilemma.html Ghost's Sight Series Page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ghosts-Sight/1579777262264084

It's Release Day!
Ghost's Dilemma is available on Torquere Press and on Amazon today.
Don't forget the Release Party on Facebook tomorrow, complete with GIVEAWAYS. We're raffling off 5 free ebooks and a $25 Amazon gift card, so stop by. If you haven't entered the giveaway yet, go do it!