WillowDarkling

I'm going to go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that you're not a writer.
The thing is, we learn from our mistakes. As a writer, I get more from well thought out constructive criticism such as Anonymous offered than I do from being told how awesome I am. I'm good enough to have gotten a couple of things picked up by a publisher, but it was listening to readers telling me what I got wrong that helped me improve.
My editor doesn't care about my delicate feelings. Editors are brutal, but if I listen to them, and keep my whining to a minimum, I wind up with a truly outstanding book. That's because there's no room for the thin-skinned when it comes to writing. And if Jashley13 isn't complaining to me about being flamed, then I think you can rest easy and not castigate Anonymous for doing what every writer hopes for.

@Guest_daddy's girl_* -
Something to keep in mind is that the poster above you offered what he or she felt was legitimate concrit. Most authors LIKE it, as it helps them in their writing. Because someone leaves a comment that isn't all hearts and flowers, doesn't mean the comment is any less legitimate, nor does it mean you tell that person to find another story because YOU disagree.

Direct from the Terms of Service

Close your eyes and imagine the scene unfolding before you like a movie. Describe it.
Personally, I can't stand when someone feels like they have to beat me over the head with things as a reader. I don't need a blow by blow. Set the stage. Engage the readers' senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing.
Are the girls giggling? Does he hear that? Is the blanket scratchy or soft? Does someone's soft hair tickle against a bare thigh?
I don't necessarily need the mechanics of ejaculation spelled out ... we've all seen it, experienced it in some way or other.
I agree with BW - sometimes less explicit is far more erotic and sensual.

Muhabba, I seriously hope you do not mean that you are sharing any bit of any story on any site, without the writer's permission, because even sharing a small portion it still plagiarism.
And as an author on AFF, I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that anyone has copied and saved my personal work on their personal computer without even asking me if I was alright with it.
And that's my two cents on this.

Sitting on his large square bench on the rooftop, Kansas smoked so hard his lungs ached, his knees were drawn up under his chin, his thin arm wrapped around his shins as tight as he could.
When he heard the door open behind him he gasped loudly, his tears wetting his knees, and the sob wracked through his chest hard enough to hurt.
Glancing over his shoulder, his eyes grey as rain, his tried to shout with anger but it only came out as a painful croak,
"I don't even know what that means, you stupid..." he sobbed again, a new bout of cries making him shake visibly, but he did not tell Vale to go away.
Downstairs Satoshi stood by the stairs, waiting in agony. Yuji came up behind him, the mithral necklace in his hand, but Satoshi didn't accept it.
"You want to go up there?" Yuji asked, and Satoshi nodded, then changed his mind.
"He hasn't started screaming yet, so I guess it's alright. This is what we were talking about after we put the kids to bed. I could feel that he had something on his chest, and I thought he had let it all out. Maybe he was expecting you two to talk to him too before we take Vale in. I don't know. Sometimes that kid is like an open book for me, and then the next minute he could just as well be from the moon."
Yuji kissed Satoshi's temple and pulled him back to the couch, offering to put the necklace around his neck, but Satoshi refused,
"No. I want Vale to do it, after he's spoken with Kansas. Also if Kansas refuses I don't know...."
Satoshi let his words trail off as he poured himself another whiskey.

Yuji noticed the unease in Vale, but Satoshi and Kansas arriving made him forget for a second. And then Kansas, the rude little imp, brought up the presents.
Kansas' face lit up when Vale handed him the box, then he laughed loudly, a blush darkening his cheeks, when Vale said,
"We call it an imp box."
His eyes darkened to stone grey while Vale showed him how to play the toy, and Kansas set it on the low coffee table to study it closely. His eyebrows knotted together over his little nose and his slender fingers poked and prodded carefully, trying to figure out the puzzle of the box. He was completely absorbed in the fantastical toy that he paid no attention to the other gifts.
Satoshi laughed delightedly at the magical lighter, and bowed his head deeply at Vale,
"Thank you very much. I will treasure this. It never runs out you say? That's great."
"That'll come in handy. No more empty Zippo's or wet Bic's for you." Yuji said with a playful wink, and Satoshi blushed crimson,
"Shut up, you..." he mumbled and all three of his partners laughed loudly.
When Vale's face became quizzical Willow smiled at him and explained,
"Satoshi collects a brand of lighters that are called Zippo. They need fluid gas to work, but he can never remember to fill them. Bic is a type of disposable lighters that hardly ever work properly, especially not in windy or wet weather. So, Satoshi is always running around looking for someone who can lend him a light for his cigarettes."
They all laughed again, even Satoshi chuckled a little, but his face was still smartly crimson under his pinegreen bangs.
When Vale handed Willow the leather bound book her blue-grey eyes filled with tears and her lips trembled.
The three men in her life all made soft groaning noises, but all of them smiled lovingly, as Willow stroked the soft leather as if she was stroking the skin of a lover, her fingers easing the book open reverently. When Vale leaned over to give her a kiss, she grabbed his cheek, answering the kiss with a soft lingering kiss of her own. Then she sniffled loudly and with a trembling voice said,
"Thank you so much. It's beautiful."
Then Vale brought out the presents for the two children and Willow let the presents pass between the two father's while making low sound of admiration.
Satoshi studied the miniature dragon for a long time, then looked up at Vale asking in a surprised tone,
"You knew that Ryuu means dragon?"
Willow took both gifts from the men and put them on a table behind the couch, and told Vale,
"I would like you to give the presents to the kids yourself in the morning. They're both still a little shy with you, but presents are always a good way to break the ice with children."
Finally it came to Yuji's present and he was pleasantly surprised that Vale had chosen a bottle of wine. When Vale explained what the drink was Yuji started to smile, and almost said that it was impossible to distill sunshine. He caught himself just in time and reminded himself that he was after all talking to an elf.
Instead he received the bottle with reverence and tugged Vale down for a kiss. Setting the bottle down on the table he mused out loud,
"It looks so beautiful that I don't think I'd want to drink from it."
He bit his lip when Vale mentioned that his people drank this to celebrate unions. He tugged Vale over for another, gentler kiss and whispered,
"Then we shall shared it at our union."
Willow and Satoshi smiled brightly and nodded, but at the mention of a union Kansas looked up, and his eyes turned light in only a few heartbeats.
The mithral charm glittered in the soft light of the living room and Yuji had to look away for a moment to hide his tears. His body shivered almost imperceptibly as Vale hung the jewel around his neck, and his lips quivered when Vale kissed him.
"I am honoured to wear this. I am honoured to be a part of your family." Yuji whispered into the kiss, then looked at his three partners with tear moistened eyes.
Willow rose from her seat by Satoshi and knelt in front of Vale. She touched his cheek, and said quietly,
"I do not know you as well as Yuji or the others, but I do already have strong feelings for you. Otherwise I would never have agreed to this. I would be honoured to be a part of your family." She pulled her hair up to allow Vale to hang the chain around her neck. Then rising to her feet again, she bent over Vale and caught his lips between hers, giving him a proper kiss, although only with lips. Breaking the kiss slowly she made a little purring sound in her throat and turned to Yuji for a quick nip of a kiss. Turning back to her seat, she muttered loud enough for everyone to hear her,
"Still wish you were at least a little bi."
Satoshi sat quiet, staring at the elf, his eyes unreadable, and Yuji touched Vale's thigh gently to indicate patience, he whispered,
"Give him a moment."
After long quiet minutes Satoshi took a deep drink from his glass, emptying it, then he rose from his seat as well, and stood in front of Vale.
"I accept." He said simply, with a soft smile, and bowed his head at Vale.
Kansas jumped to his feet loudly and stormed up the stairs.

Yuji lay his head on Vale's shoulder for a moment when he mentioned eating and at that moment his stomach growled.
"Yeah, I guess I do need to eat. And I do need to talk to them. I have been anything but myself lately." Yuji said with a faint blush, pulling on his clothes quickly. He chuckled at the enthusiasm in Vale's voice when the spoke of Aika, and with a lopsided grin Yuji said,
"If we're lucky you might see her take her very first steps. So far she only walks when she has something to hold onto. We are still waiting for her start walking."
At the mention of gifts Yuji made a tiny frown but hid it the moment he realized the at it meant a lot to Vale to come bearing gifts. Then Vale indicated the silver charm Yuji had given him for safekeeping and Yuji blushed a little at the deep love in Vale's voice.
Yuji stepped closer to the elf and stole a small kiss, his eyes guarded when he answered,
"I only asked you keep it safe for me. You wear it until we find a more permanent token of my love." With those words he lifted his left hand to show the elf the three thin rings on his ring finger. One white gold, one red gold, and one yellow gold. One for each of his lovers, that shared him equally.
Once they were dressed Yuji took the elf by the hand and lead him downstairs again. At the bottom of the stairs they were met by Satoshi and Kansas, holding the children sleepy and dressed in their pyjamas. Yuji kissed Ryuu on the top of the head, then took his daughter out of Kansas' arms to give her a good hug, and a kiss on each cheek.
"Good night, little dragon. Good night, my little love song." he said to the children respectively, then handed Aika back to Kansas, and the two lovers went upstairs to put the children to bed.
Willow stood in the kitchen waiting for them, her arms wrapped around Yuji's waist and he dug his nose into her thick light auburn hair.
"You are feeling better?" she whispered, her voice almost reverent, and Yuji nodded,
"Yes, love. I'm much better. I am so sorry for the way I have been. I guess my sorrow at my parting was greater than I realized."
Willow smiled and winked at Vale, as she pulled Yuji towards the dining table, where the food stood still, in containers that retained the heat.
Yuji ate two full portions before he sat back on his chair, and moaned blissfully,
"Oh, wow. I was much hungrier than I thought. Let's sit on the couch. Vale do you want whiskey?" Yuji said as he rose from the table, and carried the dishes to the sink, Willow clearing the rest of the table, Vale picking up a few items to try and make himself useful.
The three of them sat down on the couch, Yuji bringing four tumblers and a bottle of very fine whiskey. They heard Satoshi and Kansas walk around on the second floor, and Yuji sat up straight in the middle of the couch between his wife and his new lover.
Willow lounged back against the arm rest at the end of the over sized couch, her toes digging under Yuji's thighs.
"Vale. Since you are Yuji's preferred lover now you will be sleeping in the master bedroom with him. I will be sleeping in the small room next to Ryuu's bedroom. That is sort of the fallback room in this house. On the rare occasion that someone becomes the odd man out here, they sleep there. But you will need to use the closet in that room, I'm afraid. All of your clothes and such will need to be kept there. Are you alright with that?" Willow smiled warmly at the elf, taking a small sip at her whiskey and soda. Yuji's eyes were a little embarrassed, but he smiled too, and said with a hint of laughter in his voice,
"Once you see her closet you'll understand."
Willow kicked him lightly with on the leg, making a sound of objection.
Clearing his throat a little and taking a long swallow of his whiskey, Yuji didn't dare to look up at Vale, as he spoke,
"I would also like to go soon and find a more permanent token of my love. If you feel ready to wear a symbol of our union that is. When you are ready, I would like to give you something. I don't think I can add another ring on this hand though, but there's always the right hand."
Yuji smiled his goofy grin and glanced up at Vale, still feeling uncertain about the depth of the elf's commitment.
Their talk was halted when Satoshi and Kansas came back down the stairs, both smelling heavily of cigarette smoke and outside air, and Satoshi promised to give Vale the grand tour of the house in the morning, mentioning a rooftop terrace. Yuji poured whiskey out for the two, Satoshi taking it like Yuji, on ice, but Kansas with soda.
Satoshi pushed Yuji to the side, into Vale's arms and sat down behind Willow, allowing her to curl up in his embrace. Kansas sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, close by Satoshi's feet, his eyes dark and hooded and a sad look upon his face. A gentle silence settled over the living room, a silence that was broken by Kansas' voice when he asked,
"Did I hear someone mention gifts?"

Yuji screamed when the tight ass spasmed around his cock, and two thrusts later Yuji was spilling himself deep into the searing heat. He let himself fall on top of Vale, latching his teeth onto the pulse point under the elf's chin and sucking the skin, he worked it with his teeth, marking Vale as his, until he tasted the metallic hint of blood.
His flaccid cock slipped out of Vale's ass but Yuji lay still on top of his lover, head resting on his shoulder, his breath strained and rapid.
Vale's heart was hammering in his chest, in beat with Yuji's heart, and they lay still for long minutes wrapped around each other.
Rising up on his arms above Vale, Yuji smiled down at the blond elf, stroking his cheek slowly,
"You're finally here. I've been so lost without you. My world has been all wrong, and my dreams have been so full of fear. I have been so afraid that I would never see you again. I love you."
He said, his voice husky and raw. Vale smiled up at Yuji and tugged him down for a slow kiss. Yuji lingered above him, answering the kiss with equal lethargy. After a few moments Yuji pulled Vale to his feet and without ever leaving the elf's lips Yuji pulled him towards the ensuite bathroom, where they took a long slow shower, washing each other with care.

Yuji had to struggle with himself so he wouldn't buck his hips and thrust into that delicious heat, but the sight of Vale sinking down on him until the elf was seated on his cock, was too much.
With a feral growl Yuji sat up and wrapped his arm around Vale's waist, bracing himself on his other arm he pulled out quickly and thrust in hard and frantic, his teeth sinking into Vale's chest, as he tried to set a hard pace, but the position was limiting. Yuji grabbed Vale's hair and yanked him down backwards and to the side, making the elf fall down on the bed, and without ever leaving the tight ass, Yuji twisted up on his knees, and thrust hard and deep.
"You are real. You came back." Yuji whispered, as he fell forwards on his arm, the other arm tight around Vale's waist and the elf hooked his legs behind Yuji's back.
Withdrawing almost all the way, then thrust in so hard that skin smacked against skin, and setting the pace painfully hard, Yuji's eyes held Vale's green eyes, and the fog in his head finally cleared.
Yuji stared down at the beautiful elf, and his world fell into place again, finally it was completed, the way it was supposed be.
A devilish grin spread over Yuji's lips and he kept pounding into the velvet heat of Vale's ass, his strong arms wrapping around the slender waist, lifting Vale's hips off the bed, and Yuji arched his back to drive deeper into Vale's body, sliding over his prostate with every thrust..
The elf hooked his legs around Yuji's back, pressing into the hard thrusts, his hands fisting in the sheets, he let out a small scream every time Yuji sank into him.
"Touch yourself. Let me see you come." Yuji's voice was rough and hard, his eyes glittering with pure lust, and Vale moaned at the order.
With a shaking hand Vale grabbed his cock, fisting it tightly and in sync with Yuji's hard thrusts.

Satoshi squeezed Vale's shoulder trying his best to be reassuring, but being in no mood to start arguing over dinner, he decided that it was better to check on Yuji himself, rather than express doubt of Kansas' words. Kansas had taken Yuji's behavior the worst, and had begun exaggerating everything that Yuji did. Satoshi had no doubt that Yuji had been drinking but being dead drunk was nearly out of the question.
So they ate, making small talk about Satoshi's work and how Kansas was doing in his studies, after Satoshi and Willow had reassured Vale that the understood perfectly that he had come as soon as he was able to. They understood that Vale had a life in Neverwinter that involved a profession and duties.
When the meal was finished, Satoshi rose from his seat.
"Kansas, it's your turn with the dishes isn't it? No, Willow, I'll take him upstairs. It's alright." He said and bowing slightly to the elf, he lead the way up the stairs to the second floor. Reaching the landing, he pointed to the room immediately to the left of the stairs and said,
"This is Aika's room. That one opposite hers is Willow's and Yuji's, and the next one is mine and Kansas'. That one at the end of the hall is Ryuu's and then there' the office slash guest room." he pointed with a smile, then he turned to Vale, and his dark brown eyes were somber, and his voice low,
"Vale. I just want to tell you this. We all know that you and Yuji share a special bond, maybe even one stronger than the one we share. He has dreams where he dreams about chasing the sun, but he can't catch it. Then he wakes up, and falls asleep again to find nightmares of monsters and shadows that are stealing his sun away. He fears the fact that you will never age. He fears that he will fade and die, and you will always remain. But most of all he fears that you were never real. That he has made you up in his own mind."
Satoshi blushed, his voice wavered, and he looked to the floor for a moment, trying to regain his composure. It took him a couple of deep breaths, before he could look back up into the green eyes.
"Kansas was exaggerating. Yuji may be a little drunk, but he is most likely asleep because of exhaustion, depression and emotional turmoil. His grandfather lost his mind when he was around Yuji's age, and Yuji's always feared that the same would happen to him. Now. If you truly love him, go in there and tell him, remind him of the special bond that you share. Just wake him gently. He's grouchy when he's woken up."
Satoshi opened the door to the master bedroom and pointed Vale to enter.
The door opened into a narrow corridor with a walk in closet to the left, and the far wall was all window.
Thick black curtains covered the windows from ceiling to floor, and the light in the room was dim, like a heavy shadow.
On the rumpled bed lay Yuji, covered by the sheets up to his chin, only his raven hair and half his face visible. He lay on his right side, turned a little over on his stomach, his right hand resting against the pillow beside him, fingers gripping the white cotton spasmodically, while the left hand was fisted in the sheets holding them up to his chin.
Vale sat down on the bed gently, careful not to jar the bed, or Yuji, and leaning over the empty space in the bed, he brought his face within inches of Yuji's face.
Soft fingers grabbed stray strands of hair from Yuji's face and tucked them behind his ear, tracing the shell of his ear in the process, more gentle than a butterflies kiss.
Yuji's eyes fluttered open.
He had finally caught the sun. In his dreams he had finally caught the offending orb, only to have it dissipate between his hands, kissing his ear as it vanished.
Yuji looked up at the face hovering above him, his face still, he hardly noticed it. He blinked his eyes a few times but that face remained, a gentle smile on soft lips, and Yuji turned his head a little, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and frowned up at that face.
He knew that face.
A shiver ran through him as the hand belonging to this face touched his ear, and lifting his head, he stared at the golden hair and the emerald eyes.
Yuji's eyes widened, and he gasped, reaching up with his hand he touched the soft skin of Vale's cheek.
"I thought you were dream." he moaned, crawling out from under the covers, and placing his other hand on the other cheek.
"I though I had dreamt it all. I thought you were a dream." he mumbled again, and tugged Vale down for a needy kiss, gasping he looked back into the green eyes, and chocked.
"You're real. I know you and you're real. My love. My Vale. You are real. This is a dream." he said as tears began to fall from his lashes and he pulled Vale down on the bed, into a deep kiss, rough with need and the desperate sadness that he had been feeling since their separation.

Kansas tugged Vale out of his jacket, as the elf sat down, and Willow put the two children in their high seats, Aika's high chair right between Willow's chair and the seat that Vale had chosen.
"Thank you so much, Vale. We have missed you too. Yuji most of all. We did sort of figure that there was no way to contact us, so we've just been waiting patiently."
Willow sat down, and Kansas started serving up the dinner, sweet and sour pork, with rice and warm tea and iced water.
Willow ignored the question for a moment, when she took off into the kitchen with an exclamation. Kansas smirked, and nodded at the place setting in front of Vale, and pointed at the chopsticks,
"She suddenly figured you probably don't know how to use those. She's gone to find a fork and knife for you."
Kansas finished serving and sat down across the table from the elf.
"He's drunk, Vale. He's upstairs sleeping it off. He's been getting stranger and stranger since we got home, like he hasn't been able process what's going on. He broke down in front of me earlier tonight."
Kansas stopped talking when Willow returned to the table, and handed Vale the cutlery.
"I hope you can use those, I completely forgot about the chopsticks. Now, what were you saying, Kansas?"
"I was just answering his question." Kansas said slowly, and they exchanged a few meaningful looks.
Then Kansas nodded his head, and cleared his throat,
"He told me he's been having dreams and nightmares, and the only thing those dreams can be about is you. It is a great thing that you're here. I don't want to even imagine what he would have suffered if you had waited longer. His feelings for you are so strong that we can all feel them."
The young man turned his eyes to his dinner and started eating, both of them handling the chopsticks with expert ease. Vale started eating as well, and then Kansas looked up again and said in a low voice,
"It's actually strange. That chair you chose, that's Yuji's seat."
Kansas remained quiet for the rest of the meal, except when he spoke to Ryuu, while helping the boy eat.
Willow made small talk with Vale, asking him about Wench and Sand.
About halfway through the meal the front door opened and Satoshi's voice floated in, calling a hello.
Ryuu jumped in his seat, and refused to settle down until Kansas pulled the boy out of his seat and put him on the floor.
The little boy ran across the floor, as Satoshi entered the living area, asking in surprise,
"Who's suitcase is this? We've got guests?"
Before he got an answer he went down on his haunches and grabbed his son in his embrace, laughing and making silly noises.
Kansas rose from his seat, and waited patiently.
Picking the boy off the floor Satoshi came to the dinner table, and his jaw dropped.
Vale rose to his feet, and with his son on his hip Satoshi tugged the elf into an embrace,
"Oh, wow, I'm happy to see you finally. Where's Yuji?"
"Drunk upstairs." Kansas said with a derisive sneer.
Satoshi shook his head, and sat down, tucking into his dinner.
"Eat, and after you eat I'll take you upstairs to see him." Satoshi said with a warm smile, nodding at the elf with sad eyes.

Kansas stared up at the elf, blinking stupidly for a moment when Vale indicated his suitcase, not even noticing the offered hand.
"Vale?" he asked again, a little louder this time, and then jumped up around the elf's neck with a squeal,
"Vale! Welcome! Oh, wow. We were just talking about you. Oh, fuck. Come on in, come in. It's freezing out there, come in."
Kansas tugged at Vale's neck, grabbing at his suitcase to help the elf carry it inside.
"Please take your shoes off here, you can put them over here, on the rack. Hang on... Willow, where'd we put the guest slippers?" Kansas spoke fast and animatedly, yelling into the spacious house, and Willow came walking across the living room calling back,
"What? The guest slippers? Why?" As she came up the three steps and saw Vale, she gasped and ran at him full force, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and squeezing.
"Vale, welcome! Oh, my, I almost said welcome home... The slippers, the slippers." She turned to the small closet in the foyer and after digging around for a little bit pulled out a pair of soft slippers.
"Here. You can wear these or just your socks, that's fine also. Come on in, darling. We're about to start eating. Come on in. Kansas put his suitcase in the corner, we can take it to his room later."
Willow nearly dragged the elf inside the spacious living room, and picked her daughter off the floor where she was playing.
Yuji's eyes in miniature stared up at Vale with curiosity, and Willow tickled the girl's cheek,
"Vale, this is Yuji's daughter, Aika. Aika, this is Vale. And this big boy is Satoshi's son, Ryuu. Say hello, Ryuu." Willow tried to tug her son around her legs but the boy just giggled and stared up at the tall blond elf from behind his mother's knees.
Kansas grabbed him and lifted him up to let Vale see the child a little better.
Taking the elf's hand Kansas pulled him towards the dining area, saying,
"Come on, lets sit down and eat. Satoshi is still at work, and Yuji is taking a nap. Please take a seat."

Looking up Willow smiled at the black and blue haired imp as he came down the stairs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Is he alright?" she asked, pulling plates out of the cupboards, and placing them on the dining table, keeping one eye on the two toddlers playing in the middle of the living room. Kansas followed her with the cutlery and nodded slowly.
"He's asleep now. He was pretty upset. He kept asking me if we hadn't really gone on that vacation. Said he wasn't sure anymore whether Vale was real or a dream. He's been having dreams about chasing the sun. And then he wakes up and falls asleep again and has nightmares about monsters and shadows stealing the sun away. I think he's dead drunk." The younger man stopped laying down the cutlery, and looked at the front door. Willow stopped and looked at Kansas,
"What is it, sweets?"
"Someone's coming." he said quietly, and both stared at the door for a minute, but nothing happened.
Shrugging her shoulders Willow turned back to setting the table, and trying to set the college boy at ease said,
"Maybe it's just Satoshi."
"Doesn't feel like him, but maybe."
"And don't worry so much about Yuji. He's been having trouble sleeping lately, and I guess his feelings for Vale are causing him some heart ache. I mean, it's not like Yuji can pick up the phone and call the guy."
"I know, but still. Getting drunk before seven? He hasn't done that since... Well, since he thought he'd lost you. And I haven't seen him so upset in much longer than that. He started crying."
Willow stopped halfway to the kitchen and stared back at Kansas.
"Seriously? He cried?"
"Yep."
"And what did you do to calm him down enough to fall asleep?" she asked with a quirk of her eyebrow, and Kansas grinned back, sticking his tongue into his cheek while making a suggestive motion with his hand in front of his mouth.
"Kansas." Willow said with an indignant tone, and the young man just shrugged his shoulders, with an animated look, as he started walking towards the front door,
"What? It was all I could think of. He got a boner, I fixed it and he went to sleep."
"There's no one at the door, Kansas." Willow called after him, and at the same moment there came a heavy knock on the door.
Kansas turned around as he jumped up the steps to the foyer, and said loudly,
"See, I told you."
Kansas tiptoed across the cold tiles of the foyer and opened the front door at the same time he flicked on the light above the door.
On the front step there stood a tall, blond white guy, with emerald green eyes, dressed all in black and biker boots.
Kansas stared up at the man, his heart hammering in his chest, and his imagination went rampant for a moment, and then the man smiled.
"Vale?" Kansas asked in a breathy voice, and fell back a step.

Tokyo, Japan. Early morning of Jan. 21st, 2011.
Running down a hill, a pouch of green velvet in his hand,Yuji yelled at the sun to please get back into the bed and obey, the orange globe stopping and bouncing on the football pitch, rigth next to the piano. Catching up Yuji stopped to catch his breath and closing his eyes for a moment he wondered why the sun was making such an infernal racket while bouncing on the light brown sand.
The incessant banging made him open his eyes and groaning at the pale light filtering through the curtains, he brought his hand to his eyes and rubbed hard. Willow stirred beside him and growled.
"Why the fuck did we give them the room next to ours again?" she mumbled, rolling towards him and snuggling into his embrace.
Reaching to the nightstand Yuji pulled two breathmints from the bowl beside his lamp and dropping one into his own mouth, he offered the other to Willow. Both of them sucked the small tablets quietly for a few moments, listening to the banging on the other side of the wall, and Kansas' hoarse voice echoed through the ensuite bathroom.
"I gave that room to Satoshi when he moved in with me. That's why they're still there." Yuji said quietly, and giggled at the hand that traced his abdomen teasingly.
"What do you say we give them some competition?" Willow purred with her bedroom voice and Yuji giggled again, eyeing the alarm clock out of the corner of his eyes.
Willow's hand on his cock made him twitch, and he moaned a little, but his eyes struggled to be calm.
"I'm too lazy. Don't wanna get up. I've got to get up in like two minutes or I'll be late. I can't be late again. I've been late twice in the past two weeks since the holiday ended. The school master will have my behind."
"Oh, she would love to have your behind, wouldn't she? Let her try, that bitch, she'd have all three of us on her in a heartbeat."
"Willow. Don't talk lik… ah, ouch, little more to the left. My left, stupid, oh, yeah… right ther… ah."
Yuji let his eyes slip closed for a moment, relishing the feeling, then opened them up again to worship the beauty of the woman riding him. The soft curves of her waist, the breasts just the right amount ofhandfuls, and the lustfilled smile on her face.
"Satoshi can drive you to work. He's going in as well. And it's his turn to take Ryuu anyway. Oh, fuck Yuji. Right there, just like that…" her voice was breathy and moaning, and her hips moved constantly.
"But I'm still going to behah… ah, fuh… mmm… what was I saying? I'm still going to be late."
"Then hurry up and finish, man." Satoshi's voice from the doorway made Yuji jump and sit up, Willow arching her back on his lap, Yuji's arm instinctively wrapping around Willow's waist as his hips bucked harder into her.
"Just wanted to let you know, the kids are awake. I'll get them ready. But hurry up and finish, if you want me to drive you." Satoshi scratched the back of his head with a yawn and walked out.
Yuji buried his face in the beautiful breasts infront of his face and in a few minutes spilled himself inside Willow, her entire body shivering with loud moans.
Then Yuji tossed her back onto the bed, and jumped out, running for the ensuite bathroom.
He showered quickly and pulled on some clothes, nearly running face first into the wall as he aimed for the stairs.
In the kitchen Satoshi was arguing with Ryuu about going to kindergarden, while little Aika sat on the living room floor screaming at the top of her voice.
"Hey, baby, hey, what's this? Why are you screaming like that?" Yuji picked Aika off the floor and tried his best to comfort her, but the small girl just bucked and thrashed against him, screaming even louder.
Out of nowhere Willow swept in and grabbed the girl, shushing her, and entering the kitchen, grabbed a banana and Aika stopped screaming almost instantly.
Satoshi finally had his son by the arm and was dressing him in a winter coat, while screaming up the stairs,
"Kansas! Kansas, get your ass down here. Right now. I'm leaving." A couple of minutes passed by before Kansas came bouncing down the steps, his school bag slung over one shoulder and his face still a little flushed from the furious fucking he'd just received.
Willow came over and handed Yuji his travel coffee cup, and a bento box. Kansas kissed her quickly on the cheek,
"Thanks, Willow." He said, grabbing his bento box and stepping out into the foyer to put on his shoes. Ryuu kissed his mother goodbye as well, and Kansas helped the two and a half year old into his shoes.
Satoshi took his coffee cup and his bento box and kissed Willow slowly on the lips.
"I'll be late tonight, so don't hold up dinner. I'll let you know if I won't make it before ten, alright." He said, his voice still a little roughened by the morning quickie.
Willow kissed him back and nodded her head in agreement,
"Alright, love. Now hurry so you won't be late. Drive careful."
Yuji waited his turn patiently, his eyes staring into the distance, his mind sort of spinning. Willow placed cold fingers on his jaw and slowly drew him to face her,
"Hey, baby, where you at?" she said in a low voice, the love and adoration she had for him thick on her voice, and Yuji's heart quickened a tiny bit. It always did when she used that tone with him.
"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm just tired. Can't seem to get enough sleep these days. You should go help her." Yuji answered with an insincere smile and nodded towards their daughter, who was tossing banana bits around the kitchen. Yuji bent down and gave Willow a long slow kiss, nibbling at her lip, plundering her mouth for just a moment more, relishing the heat of her body against his.
Satoshi yelled from the foyer and Yuji jumped. He smacked one last kiss on his wife's lips and then ran out, literally jumping into his winter boots and slipping and sliding out to the car.
The three men drove to Yuji's high school in near silence, Yuji enjoying the soft voice of Kansas playing with little Ryuu in the backseat.
Arriving at the school, Satoshi grabbed the back of Yuji's neck and smacked a quick kiss on his lips.
"Have a good day, and do your best, alright." He said quietly, that same look of great love and admiration in his eyes as Yuji had seen in Willow's eyes.
Kansas just patted Yuji's shoulder as he jumped into the front seat, and sighing Yuji hurried into the high school, cursing under his breath.
The bell rang and he was about a minute late to the music room. His first class was the freshman music history class. He hated them just as much as they hate him, and the class was a torture.
Yuji counted the minutes until lunch and nearly kicked his piano students out when the bell rang.
Sitting down on the bench out on the teacher's lounge balcony Yuji lit up a cigarette and sighing contently leaned against the cold stone of the wall behind him, rubbing his eyes with a freezing hand.
His mind was still spinning, it had been for the past two weeks since they had returned from that strange vacation over the New Years holiday.
They had come home right after noon, and his sister had brought the kids over before dinner. There had been a lot of commotion, questions and demands to see pictures and Hideko had been very displeased when all four of them said they hadn't taken any.
The kids had been a handful for the next day and then Monday came around and Yuji had gone back to work, Kansas went back to classes at college, and Ryuu started kindergarden again.
Everyone around him seemed to settle into their normal routine, Satoshi had a holiday until the 21st of January, but Yuji just couldn't settle down. There was this tingle in his body, like he was missing something. For the passed week he had been having these intense dreams, strange and chaotic, which woke him up to a feeling of emptiness and longing.
He had a vivid picture in his mind of the elf that had surrendered to him so willingly, and Yuji felt a painful twinge in his heart every time he brought that picture up.
He had found himself going on the wrong train a few days ago, because he had glimpsed golden hair through the crowd and started chasing it. By now he was uncertain whether the elf was real.
Perhaps it had all been a dream. Perhaps they had never gone halfway around the world to attend a magical gathering of writers and their pets. Perhaps Yuji was losing his mind. He had always feared he would lose his mind, and maybe now it was finally happening.
But when he closed his eyes and his daydreams filled with green sparkling eyes and unruly blond hair, his heart quickened and he could smell that scent, he could feel those fingers on his skin and those lips against his. So he couldn't be losing his mind.
He didn't dare to bring it up at home, because they had all sworn not to.
When Willow had brought the idea before the three men, and they had decided to go, they had all sworn that whatever happened at the vacation house, it would stay there. That was the reason they had taken down their wedding rings, and pretended that Yuji, Kansas and Satoshi were Willow's pets.
Sighing Yuji lit up another cigarette and braced himself for the next four hours. At least he had a short day today, and it was Friday. He was looking forward to a weekend of whiskey, a teething baby, a horny wife and two lovers and grading music history papers. Just a normal life.
And those bewildering dreams.

I wish to stand up, cheer loudly and applaud until my hands bleed, like BronxWench.
This is an awesome post, KH_Woodward, and I thank you for it.

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

Must...resist...grammar...spelling...rampage...
Okay, calmer now. On the off chance that there is an AFF member alive who hasn't seen this yet, here is a timely and relevant music video: Weird Al Yankovic's "Word Crimes."

Grammar: a lost art.

Magusfang, as DemonGoddess explained this person posted a story that was a direct copy of a script of a show, or a published book by someone else. This is sometimes referred to as "read the book" fiction, I think, but it is purely just plagiarism, so that is not allowed on the site.
AFF does not delete stories for poor writing. The staff does not engage in quality control, no matter how much they might sometimes want to
And no, we're not leaving, not at all. My corner is right next to BronxWench, in my little crate

I agree with Bronx 100%. Parents need to take responsibility for the raising of their children in to functional human beings. Not the teachers in school, not the babysitter, or someone else. That job is the parent's job.
Children all too often these days, are brought up with an extreme sense of entitlement. You know what? I grew up learning how to EARN things. Not having shit handed to me to shut me up. Given the kind of behavior I see with much younger than me type people in the work place, that's just ONE of the areas where I feel parents are not stepping up to the plate. You don't get your way because you exist. You shouldn't be given things just because you are there. Privileges are earned. That's why they're privileges.

If they have serious mental issues, then by all the gods, they should NOT have been reading creepypasta. That scares adults, ffs. It only reinforces what I said, that parents have an obligation to make sure they know where their children are surfing on the Internet. And a large part of what's wrong with the Internet generation is that there is NO concept of consequences. No one expects them to take responsibility for their actions. No one wants to say, "You screwed up, and you are going to receive a punishment." I knew that if I screwed up, I was going to get spanked, lose privileges, and be generally miserable until I'd been deemed sufficiently punished. Guess what? I grew up to be a fairly good person, who gets involved with the community, obeys the law, works hard, pays taxes, and doesn't litter.
I've raised two children. I have one who's 19 and one who's 16, and I monitored their Internet usage. They earned privileges based on both age and how well they obeyed the restrictions I'd imposed on where they could surf. Neither one of them has ever shown any inclination to lure classmates into the woods and stab them to prove to a fictional character that they were "worthy." And if they ever had entertained such gruesome notions, I'd have known about it long before it got past the "what if we..." stage. I understood that kids don't spring into the world with a font of altruism waiting to be unleashed. They're largely amoral, selfish, impatient, and not at all empathetic. It's up to parents to instill some sort of values in their children. I'm not playing with theory here. I've lived it, and I'm speaking from experience.
It's not rocket science, people. It's called parenting. It's what OUR parents did, and it works.

Honestly, as the legal guardians of the girls that did the stabbings, their parents ARE responsible under the law. The fact that we rarely push to punish the parents doesn't make it unreasonable to think that they might bear some of the blame. We're fast enough to blame parents if a kid finds a gun and shoots a cousin. How is this different? When will we realize that kids need watching, and it starts AT HOME?
It's well past time that we started to expect people to be responsible. You bring a child into this world, and you are responsible for raising that child, feeding them, educating them, and teaching them how to be a productive member of society. You don't buy them a laptop at ten and say, "Have fun." You make sure they know what's right and what's wrong. It's no one else's responsibility.
Yes, the other girl is alive, but can you imagine how this will color her life? Not only now, when she's injured, in the hospital, and no doubt scared half to death, but years from now. Who's going to be there when she suffers PTSD, or has nightmares? Who puts her life back together for her and makes it all okay again? No one can give her back what she lost thanks to these two little monsters.

The parents DEFINITELY should take a share in the blame, AND the punishment. Perhaps if we start punishing the parents WITH the children, instead of relying on the electronic babysitters, other parents will actually become involved and KNOW wtf their kids are doing.

I already left. This is a spambot.
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