Cuzosu

This conversation happened last month, but I figured I should share it with the public (read: fellow pervs) here for laughs. I've already shared it with Raymy, who, I am very glad to say, has a wonderful sense of humor and pervertedness!
I meant to share this before now, but what with company and scattered inspiration and life in general, I've either been highly distracted or not on a computer. Still, I hope this makes everyone laugh. The text below was typed when I was still intoxicated...but I'd have probably phrased it the same way regardless, since the only thing drinking changes about my sense of humor is how much I laugh out loud.

"There is one more thing she will also do what no other fae woman before her has done. She will bare many children."
Here I thought the Minor2 tag was because one of the main characters is sixteen. Whoops.

"I often wondered why I torcher myself"
?

How about capitalization? I see numerous examples of capitalizing common nouns, i.e. 'He went to see the Doctor.' if your just going to see a random medical practitioner, shouldn't 'doctor' not be capitalized? As far as I know, the only doctor capitalized that way is one of the Doctors from Dr. Who.
i read this example somewhere else as well and it always makes me laugh
There's a difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

I review the vast majority of things I read, but I hardly get to read anything. The things I don't review are almost always things I couldn't think of a nice thing to say about them, because I don't like leaving wholely negative reviews. I get why this policy is a Bad Thing, but it works for me.

When I actually have the TIME to read, I review. It's the one way an author gets VISIBLE recognition of his or her efforts in this.

I leave one review for the day's reading. I write my reviews in notepad, and I user the <hr> tag within my review to let the author know that I'm going between technical and content portions of the review. When reviewing multiple chapters, I use <i>Chapter #</i> as part of my review to let the author know that there was something specific to that chapter I wanted to comment on.
Do I feel it's "too much time" I spend leaving good reviews? No, I don't. Since the author took the time to write the story, the least I can do is spend a little time saying thanks and giving a little detail as to what I liked/didn't like.

This.

I don't have a beta myself, largely because my fandom pieces are not in wildly popular fandoms and I do want someone who gets the 'verse in which I dabble. My original works, well, I have no excuse there other than not really knowing anyone I'd pester to beta for me. But I do also welcome concrit and delight in having someone point out where I can improve.
I have an inner Grammar Bitch who is relentless in terms of pointing out errors in punctuation, and who has made me twitch for years when I write dialogue that is not grammatically impeccable. Honestly, we aren't all known for flawless exposition all the time, and dialogue can sound stilted if you force the issue. I have manuscripts that will never get out of first draft if I don't reign in my tyrannical inner editor. I'm overly critical of myself, and the fact that I hit the publish button at all is amazing.
There should be a fine line between my obsessive self criticism and the blithe disregard for convention that triggered this thread. It would be refreshing, anyway, given that a great many of the people who can't be bothered to try and clean up grammar and punctuation errors are the same people who are upset by the lack of reviews on their stories.

I think a large part of the issue is the instant gratification that the internet and self-publishing sites, like ours, provide. People rush, rush, rush but never polish. For the most part, if the grammar is totally ignored, I ignore the story. The back button is there for a reason, after all.
Now what really burns my butt are the authors who ask for betas, are lucky enough to find someone who will work with them, then refuse to learn anything, apply the changes or post chapters before the beta returns the corrections. Hence, at least three reasons I refuse to beta anymore.

In addition to the dyslexia excuse, the "I was writing this late at night and I didn't proof read" or "proof read as I go" and "I don't have a beta reader" excuses are also irritating. Not so much as blaming dyslexia. My word processor underlines it in red - as does my web browser. If yours doesn't, you need to update your software.
And the one that I just opened actually admitted to deleting a review because it pointed out her flaws. That's not how I would expect a serious writer to behave.
Edit: Raymy, I was typing mine as your posted, and I didn't see your last statement first. So let me just say this: if there wasn't someone there to point out that there was a flaw, I don't know that the work would be worth the effort. Honestly, if someone doesn't point them out, then will you ever be a better writer? Do you want to stumble along thinking that you're perfect, only to find out when you finally have a serious reader that expects some amount of quality that you're not? (Not saying anything about your writing specifically, but those in general that don't want any type of criticism, just 'great job' responses.)
Regardless, yes, the whole point is that self-editing - learning about the aspects of the language in the first place - would prevent a lot of hard feelings on the part of people who post stories online. I've read works by those whose first, second and third languages are not English that have a better grasp of the finer points than those who grew up in households speaking it.

Ah, I love these conversations. It always sparks the "holier than thou" part of me that enjoys feeling superior to others. There aren't many aspects of life that I can claim to be an expert in, but I've always felt that I put a lot more effort than most others into language: spelling, usage and grammar. If you detect sarcasm braided with self-deprecation overlaying basic truth, then you get my point. (and perhaps, apple pie!) I'm not pointing any fingers, other than at myself, for I grew up lording it over my sister (older). It, being my aptitude for spelling, but mostly, having a better understanding of word usage. Just at Xmas dinner, she said, "The scent of the candle is "waffing" over to her." I bit my tongue in order not to correct her. That was a rare moment for me because I don't hesitate to do so at every turn. (and did incessantly during Xmas-time) We were both raised similarly, so it's not that I had any advantage other than my brain works differently. I have struggled to get over the enjoyment I gain at feeling that I'm better than her, but most of the time it's a losing battle. We are what we are. Because I have this relationship with my sister, I try to practice leniency for most poor writing I encounter. However, as I've admitted, my inflated ego gets the better of me, many times, and I tactlessly point out the flaws I perceive.
Seriously, the ease of learning literacy concepts and memorizing how words are spelled or used is something we may take for granted. Many people can't incorporate what they are taught simply because they aren't wired that way. They still have creativity and imagination that blows me away, and they deserve the forum to express themselves. I would like to see them recognize that they still need to try to learn, though. At the very least, proofreading their own work before they submit would make a huge difference. The worst part of being so "perfect", as many of you can attest to, is knowing that when you make a despicable mistake, you berate yourself the hardest. "Bad _____, you should know better!" I know that as long as there is someone who can point out my errors, I tremble every time I make a post or submit a story.

Agrees with Dany's rant.
Folks, not taking the time to learn the rules of grammar, even the simplest ones, is insulting to the readers and sheer laziness on the part of the so-called authors who ignore them despite someone trying to explain them.
Clambers down off soapbox, for now.

Heaven forbid, though, if we point out to someone that they make mistakes or need help. After all, this isn't a professional writing site and we shouldn't treat things in it as such. Or we hold the written word that people post to a standard of readability that doesn't want to make you spork your eyes out or you need a version of Babel Fish to figure out what was said.
And, sorry, not buying the dyslexia excuse for poor writing either as I am one that suffers from it and i sure as heck don't put that kind of horribly written stuff out there!
Sorry, all the excuses out there for poor writing are just that... excuses! There are ways to get help or fix it if you want to, most just think they don't have to bother.
</rant>
*goes back to hiding*

I actually don't know what I'm doing. Luckily I don't call myself a writer, I call myself a pornographer.

JayDee you knows their is sum body who just didnt get the sarcazm they're.

Your right, For all intensi've, purpose's I dont no wat Im doing theirs know {hope}.

Pittwitch, it seems they can do so rather easily, unfortunately. After all, as one person stated, prose and screen-writing are identical forms and require no alternative means of formatting.
Of course, that's complete bunk, but since the tripe is actually believed by someone, I'm quite certain that they also believe that using proper punctuation is neither wanted nor needed to communicate.
Considering the frequent miscommunication that occurs in society at large, one would think that the finer points of language would be at the fore of what the educational system chooses to impart. Sadly, however, it does not seem to be so. I can tell you that I saw a story a few months ago that attributed lines to a character that, had they been spoken by that character, made no sense whatsoever. The faux pas was the result of bad punctuation, which, yes, I did point out to the author in a review.
I shudder to think, though, that not only have the rules of grammar fallen to the wayside, but it also seems that broadening one's vocabulary is no longer considered a proper use of time. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've read the same phrase repeatedly within the same section of prose. It's not only irritating, it's boring.
And, Bronx, surely you jest. Read a book? Why, there're movies to prevent that practice!

Or if they haven't managed to read an actual book? The sad part is that this is not limited to the younger members, either. There are a great many members old enough to have learned these rules, but who simply can't be bothered, or so it seems.

Bronxie! That was my next sticking point. Geez, how can anyone call themselves a writer if they totally ignore all the rules of writing?

I am ancient enough to remember all sorts of rules of grammar and punctuation that have gone by the wayside, it seems. Such as using a comma at the end of dialogue, before closing the quotation and appending attribution, a convention that is also mysteriously absent in the archive.
Even if our children aren't actually being taught any of these things, there are numerous websites where one can self educate. Google is our friend. Failing that, one can real a book, an actual published book that has been printed and sold. It will be a revelation to see punctuation properly applied.

This has been driving me nuts in the Archive. I learned this rule as a ten year old kid so I now question WTH our kids are being taught. This comma makes all the difference in the world in a sentence. Let's demonstrate!
"Let's eat, Grandma!" means that we want Grandma to put the grub on the table.
"Let's eat Grandma!" means that we have suddenly become cannibals and Grandma IS the grub.
A lowly comma, long neglected by lazy writers, completely changes the context!
It also applies to terms of endearment or titles:
"Yes, Master," murmured the slave.
"Good night, my sweet," whispered the dom.
If even one person changes their evil ways, I shall rejoice with dancing, dearies!

Not Guilty.
Unless you count my son "walking me". He runs off and I have to give chase.
Have you ever slept more than 12 hours straight?
My body gets buzzy, and I feel crappy if I go more than 10.

Straight boys... in my pants. (Jeffree Star) I love boys...

Sealed With A Naughty Kiss
(I've been reading Terry Pratchett's "Going Postal" to my bf; SWALK is a fairly common acronym in that book.)
U N C O N D I T I O N A L