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From JayDee on April 03, 2020 Part 3! Curiously chapter numbered part 2. Part one a prologue?Indeed it is. Well, no sex here but a little violence! I jumped when the hand smacking the door. Worked like a movie jump scare that. There was also a line I really liked “It screeched in a manner of a thing that dwelled in cold and dark being forced into warmth and light.” That’s good stuff that is! That was an impromptu thought I was gonna take it out but ended up leaving it in. The duel with Henry… well Harry wasn’t gonna lose was he? I guess it has some implications later? Funny thing, Harry gets used a nick name for Henrys, like that Prince Harry guy being a Henry. Is that a hint of a connection between them? Nice to see Harry not being a dick about it though. There’s always that feeling that James would have been. While, Harry can be a but of a dick. They’ve all been manhandled by a death eater dominated ministry of magic. Harry wants to be different from the ones who imprisoned them and make no mistake it is a prison. They’re sacrificial lambs and Harry is the only one who knows the true details of it. As part of the deal he made. At least kill it with fire still works. “Zombie has burning sensation after bondage game” possibly not quite the right headline.

You don’t want to be too specific. It takes the reader out of the story when they have to work to see exactly what the author is seeing. Unless what you;re describing is something so commonplace as to be universal, like a single-story, red brick factory building with a flat roof that occupies a full city block, readers should be able to invest some imagination into the scene. Your idea of Grandma’s cottage and mine might vary, but the general idea of Grandma’s cottage will conjure up an emotional response in readers that too much detail can obscure.