All Activity
- Today
- Yesterday
-
Cicadas when I’m trying to write late at night: “I respect you and want you to succeed, so let me sit on your window and scream about it.”
I just opened my office window and told the damned bugs on the screen to go get laid somewhere else because I couldn’t think straight from their noise. Our neighbors probably think I’m nuts. Meh. They drive ugly cars; people who drive ugly cars don’t get an opinion on my sanity or lack thereof.
-
For me, it’s tree frogs who chorus with the cicadas, and one particularly nocturnal groundhog, who likes to thump underneath my cottage at around 2 or 3 in the morning.
The daft one asks me why I’m poking at the laptop in the middle of the night. I’m still trying to understand how he can sleep...
-
If you ever write your memoir, you’ve got to call it Screaming at the Bugs.
-
Chapter 1: The Insects Persist, but So Do I
Today I cussed out a crane fly that kept trying to fly into our kitchen. The damned thing would just get eaten by my cat, which would then vomit on my freshly mopped floor, so who can blame me? If blameless, then why did my next door neighbor stare at me like I’m some crazy person while watering their air conditioner?
Elsewhere on the internet:
”Tonight, a suburban housewife phoned the police regarding a neighbor’s mental health crisis over an insect in her yard. ‘She was out there using foul language in front of my peonies? What else could I do? The poor things are scarred for life!’”
The following week:
”This morning, a peony bush mysteriously caught fire. Coincidence, or retaliation? Discussion on the evening news, tonight.”
-
- GeorgeGlass and BronxWench
-
2
- Report
-
- Last week