AFF's Tales from the Shoutbox Review Thread 2015

[PervertedPages]

Well, it's the only way I see them surviving, really, I can't see people being completely random for eternity, and some patterns prove more useful and easy than others.

[GeorgeGlass]

Death has an Ugly Face -- Tahn

In horror movies, you always wonder why the dumb teenager runs for the basement. So I like the fact that this second-person scenario provides some logic to support that move. But I'm left with two questions: 1. Why is the story called “Death has an Ugly Face” when we never see the creatures’ faces? and 2. What WILL I do?

All Hallow’s Eve -- ThinLizzie

It's hard enough to write rhyming poetry that's cute or funny; it's even harder to write rhyming poetry that (successfully) evokes more serious images or feelings. So good job.

[Tahn]

From the Ashes -- Tahn

This is solid work. It's hard to capture a whole lifetime in a short story, so I'm impressed that you managed it without the story either seeming rushed or becoming bloated. Nice descriptive details; the fire scene in particular really sticks in my mind because you included details that others might not think of (eg, flames dripping from the crosstimbers, the way the stairs smoke before they catch fire). Also, [spoilerS] I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and yours was tearfully happy. Thanks for a good read.

Hehe, I'm really glad you like it I tried to be as descriptive as possible with the fire so it would be stuck in people's minds, the hell he went through.

Death has an Ugly Face -- Tahn

In horror movies, you always wonder why the dumb teenager runs for the basement. So I like the fact that this second-person scenario provides some logic to support that move. But I'm left with two questions: 1. Why is the story called “Death has an Ugly Face” when we never see the creatures’ faces? and 2. What WILL I do?

Death has an ugly face in this one because you know that the character faces that death, and both are ugly ways to die. Besides, the imagination gives a much more terrifying face to those options as the MC has to choose which way they will die.

The choice, is yours. Do you face a pack of unknown enemies that seem to want to play, that have claws, and human voices, or do you choose the unknown monster that you can hear breathing in the darkness just a few feet from you? Up to you.

[GeorgeGlass]

Right Like Rain -- KoKoa_B

I’ve always liked the idea of a Halloween party at which not everyone in attendance needs a costume. The use of punctuation and some of the sentence constructions were somehwat confusing; for example, where Tabitha says, “Lightning, ass,” I had to stop reading for a few seconds to figure out that “ass” meant “you ass.” Also, there are a few sentences of dialogue in which it isn't obvious who is speaking. As for the ending: [spoilerS] Wow, when you use that MCD tag, you don't fool around. But I liked the ending, because even though it was heartrending, it made sense in the context of the story and yet was a complete surprise. Generally, when a writer introduces you to an ensemble like this one, you assume that this is the first of a whole series of stories, because that's how it usually goes with TV shows, book series, comics, etc. Killing virtually all of the characters off at the end of the story is a great way to subvert that trope.

[GeorgeGlass]

So...better late than never, right?

Tricky Treats - DirtyAngel

I kind of felt like this was a series of inside jokes that I didn't have enough background to get. But I still liked "It looks like a baby’s arm holding an apple!" and the hilariously non-sequituriffic "back at the ranch" bit. And is "I’m your number one fan!" a Misery reference? (Good on you if it is.)