Rick_Andrew

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Status Replies posted by Rick_Andrew

  1. I had a very close relative die in the summer and it’s kind of broken me too, as self-centred as it sounds when they’re the one who died, but I gotta try and move on a bit. Hoping to catch up on reading soon, especially the new halloween story jam you’ve got going on.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      JayDee, I've never chatted with you, though I've often come away better-informed by your posts, and grateful to you.  Sorry to hear you've lost a close one.  All the best to you JayDee.

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

  2. Not fiction, this happened in my house recently--

    It was a dark and stormy night, in a great big house.  Thunderclouds had swirled down from the north and were dumping the rain.

    On the phone I had just talked with Jenny--who, with our son, was out-of-state on their road trip to see a massive museum.

    I was in my recliner sitting quietly a moment because I was ready to go to bed.  The dark filled every room, all but disregarding a few puny battery-powered candles:  Left the only soul in the house, I was downshifting for sleep.

    Power briefly flashed out. The kitchen clock winked--otherwise I wouldn't have missed power, since I'd already had the lights out.

    But over the din of the pounding storm, I made out some grating noises and then--footfalls.  In our bedroom, over my head.

    In my mind I inventoried what had caused this big house to creak like that from time to time.  Creaking I could explain, yeah.

    But there were also the little dull impacts.

    Unmistakably, movement upstairs. It sounded exactly like Jenny getting out of bed and walking across the floor--a sound I knew well from repetition, having heard it here above my head-- sometimes every morning in a week--yes indeed: footfalls !

    But with Jenny in Ohio, then: who?

    The noise was, beyond my doubt now, a presence upstairs.  I froze to stone not wanting to be detected—trying to reassure myself thinking:  It’s the noise of the storm—that’s nothing upstairs  ! 

    And when would that Nothing--responsible for what almost was starting to sound like distant angry bangs and thumps--descend the stairs, coming this way?

    Starting to hear my heart in my ears, I mentally rejoined the presence by trying to reduce it to some mundane cause I knew--finding it nuts--

    Because nobody--especially in a pounding storm--breaks into the TOP floor, while rain slides off the roof and sheets down windows.

    Over the roar of the storm, I finally caught a distinctive sound: A plastic case, wheels on an axle jarring with an impact. 

    Our vacuum 'droid was loose.

    I'd been petrified by what I found to have been the noise of his slamming into furniture like a drunken bad actor who hadn't rehearsed his action scene.

    The power spike had jolted his dumb plastic butt right off the battery charger.

    And in the dark and fury of the storm, he was--

     VACUUMING.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Come to think of it, those two are heading out again this weekend !

      My wife says if there’s a bogeyman, she’s sure I can handle him.  

      But they did love how that vacuum ‘droid popped the dust bunnies out my ass.

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  3. Oh no !  I think I've joined one of those companies where they'll expect me to like--DO STUFF for that wage.

    That must mean I didn't make the c-suite.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      And on this note: As the whole group videoconvened, I reached--behind the laptop--rummaging for my dollar-store glasses.  

      I hear "Uh, Rick ?  It's not that kind of meeting !"  

      And I realize in reaching behind, I had panned the monitor (with built-in cam) downward.  

      I'm glad I dress head-to-toe for a workday !

      Because I wouldn't have chosen to uh...exhibit that zone on a Hallmark.  

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  4. Tis the season to eat a bulb of garlic every day to keep the vampires at bay.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Fret not, Desi—with a trim and the right conditioner, you can get that all-over once-sheddy mane lush! sultry! with a light scent of musk: seductive, like good suede !

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  5. so my favorite book author has a tiktok and she gave me the great idea based off of her recent tiktok about women faking ‘oreos’ lol so fingers crossed i can produce something to stop this dry spell! lol 

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      When I was a kid, every night I would chow down on those tuxedo-ish cookies after dinner. 

      But I’m just dense—I never perceived their vast orgasmic potential.  Closest I came was cocking a funny look at that lady in the commercial when she started moaning—then imagined her naked. But at 15 there was only a limited set of women I would not picture naked. It was what my day was for.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  6. Tis the season to eat a bulb of garlic every day to keep the vampires at bay.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Well, see, what I’ve been doing—set a razor and a can of Barbasol in the wreath, and we haven’t had an unshorn werewolf in years. Although we continue to get Chewbaccas.

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  7. Tis the season to eat a bulb of garlic every day to keep the vampires at bay.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      So that’s why I never see them at Italian restaurants.

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  8. Oh no !  I think I've joined one of those companies where they'll expect me to like--DO STUFF for that wage.

    That must mean I didn't make the c-suite.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Halloween...well I am, secretly, not a tie-wearer.  Maybe by Halloween they won't notice if I gradually morph into a suit:  That suit I got on my earliest birthday . Funny--everybody gets one, yet they all look different ! That suit be head-to-toe.

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  9. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Thanks Willow !

      I did keep a straight face as HR described their STD benefits (short-term disability, of course).

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  10. Fasting turns me into a fucking Tinkerbell! I only have space for one emotion at a time, and it’s amplified tenfold because my body wants food!

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Congrats on completing the fast, Willow ! Was Japanese Golden Curry and rice at the end of that rainbow ?

    2. (See 15 other replies to this status update)

  11. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Oh no, going back from break, gotta go on-cam—must stop giggling.

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  12. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Oh I know !  Them and their—clothes.   Sheesh.  

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  13. Tuna juice over canned cat food, cat’s now happy :)

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Just one step—makes Gourmet cat food !

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  14. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Well the girls were cute, but they had clothes.  Snobs !

      I keep thinking Bubba’s adventure was the reverse of when you invite someone to a costume party—but it isn’t.

      Crashing a party when you’re the only one clothed. is that just awkward?

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  15. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Awww.  Thanks !  Breaktime.  It was vid--nobody naked. 

      They liked the necktie but I shoulda worn more.

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  16. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Damn, now I am going to my first-day teleconference with necktie and the giggles.  But I’m not pulling out THAT story. 

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  17. In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

    So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

    Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

    Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

    Well, he'd wanted a look !
     

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Yeah it is, huh?

      I like how the girls don't shave the pyramid !  (was just listening to an Egyptian comedienne)

      Bubba never said a word, didn't even toss a thank-you back when he got going.  We were grumbling about that.  I think he was just processing too much for that particular brain.

      But his eyes had shone wide as ping-pong balls even as he frenetically wriggled the controls ( I think his eye contact was mostly with us !). 

      I wonder if he'd known that part of the lake shore was a nude beach. :yahoo:

       

    2. (See 14 other replies to this status update)

  18. Fasting turns me into a fucking Tinkerbell! I only have space for one emotion at a time, and it’s amplified tenfold because my body wants food!

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Well uh, I hope he'll have good news too !   

      24 hours  ?  I thought they only ever asked for overnight.  That’s so punishing  :spank:   

    2. (See 15 other replies to this status update)

  19. Fasting turns me into a fucking Tinkerbell! I only have space for one emotion at a time, and it’s amplified tenfold because my body wants food!

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Is the fasting for a special event or is it a regular thing ?

    2. (See 15 other replies to this status update)

  20. As of this morning, my potter fanfic has risen on AO3 in word count, now #16 longest in the category.  Got some writing to do!

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      I take it The more explicit the merrier !

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  21. Eureka! I have a car again! Picked it up tonight, and I am utterly delighted with my gently used Jeep. :wub: 

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Yay ! Brava ! Congrats on the Jeep find !

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  22. Changing jobs. Wife insisted I take a week off between.

    What happens when I get time off: By midweek now I’m so beat I can’t hit the gym one MORE day, I have to take time off from that too.

    Hmm—too much time—if my hand can only reach

    —ah! My espresso martini.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Wow, that sounds awesome  !  Uhhh…and that’s my cube there, with the red Swingline stapler.

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  23. Changing jobs. Wife insisted I take a week off between.

    What happens when I get time off: By midweek now I’m so beat I can’t hit the gym one MORE day, I have to take time off from that too.

    Hmm—too much time—if my hand can only reach

    —ah! My espresso martini.

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      Y'know, that reset vacation balance has figured high in my thoughts--wow, right before holidays !  

      Slight problem with the company kinda burning down behind me—sooo, I took the jump.

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  24. So, just when I think things are settling down, and life is beginning to approach normal once more, my car decides to die. This is not simply a case of spending a week with its favorite mechanic. Oh, no. This is a case of the computer no longer talking to any of its sensors, resulting in a very large paperweight that looks quite a bit like a Jeep. 

    The daft one and I are going car shopping tomorrow. Hide the whiskey...

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      • no problems with computer, ever
      • Never replace a battery
      • Manual shift
      • optional stereo (bring one)
      • Convertible
    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

  25. I know it’s automated and generic, but I still like the birthday cake Bing made me.

    image.png.07d06553151757bdfdeb3b3daa263e9d.png

    1. Rick_Andrew

      Rick_Andrew

      That is one celestial-looking cyber birthday cake.  Happy birthday !  :beer:

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)