Sinfulwolf

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  1. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from InBrightestDay in SinfulWolf's Review Responses   
    A fresh batch of reviews I’ve not responded to yet. Here goes:
    First up, @Tcr for the Prompt Oneshot “Blackburn”
    Glad the sex was hot. A smutty one shot certainly would have fallen apart otherwise.
    This was fun for me, and aye I certainly wanted a different feel and tone to it than I did for Blood and Lace. I’m just happy the interactions between Eloise and Lauren was enjoyable, because otherwise no one would have made it to the sex later on. 
    I think I tried harder for elegance this time. Cause of setting. Lol.
     
    Next we have another for “Blackburn” from @JayDee
    Excellent that you liked it! And Annabelle was rather enjoyable to write, with just offering peaks at who she was. And that viper line I loved, so couldn’t help but slither it in there.
    Lauren was really the crux and start of the whole story. She was the first figure I imagined, pretty much right after I walked out of the movie “The Favourite”. The story was originally going to be more focused around her, but when I sat down to right, I had it from the Queen’s perspective to make it more interesting to introduce Lauren.
    The sex was just fun to right, and I realized I’ve not done much anal fingering, or mouth riding. So I fixed that.
     
    The last of the batch for “Blackburn” is from @CloverReef
    After watching a bunch (okay, only 2) of historical pieces centred around the intrigues of court, I just had to write something about it. Glad to see my thing for those small gestures is still appreciated. I’ve always enjoyed doing it, and I won’t stop… so that it’s enjoyed is good, lol. 
    I’m honestly not sure what I originally intended for pace, but I’m glad it is enjoyable and interesting. 
    Lauren… as said to JayDee, she is the crux of the whole thing.
     
    Last review is from @InBrightestDay for the tale “Comin’ Home”
    Don’t worry, I’m just happy you did leave one at all.
    The return home… I think I wrote this around Remembrance Day, and I had to think back to a lot of things I was personally remembering of how I felt on my own return home. It’s one thing to see your loved ones again, but then as you mention, there’s a slight oddness of so many little things being different. It can make the familiar unfamiliar, and the warzone feel comforting again. can anyway.
    I know in real life soldiers don’t return home with all that gear, but I felt it would be a touch more impactful if she did. So... I wrote that in. As to the sword and wider world, it’s almost funny that I had forgotten about it when going to write Blood and Lace. But yes, I thought it would be an interesting little nudge.
    Well, I’m glad it came out all right. I think I just got hyper focused on certain elements to get across the steamyness I wanted.
     
    To all four of you. Thank you kindly for the reviews.
  2. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from CloverReef in CloverReef's Review Centre   
    Woo! I want to read your dark and depraved.
  3. Like
    Sinfulwolf reacted to CloverReef in CloverReef's Review Centre   
    Yaaaas! Exactly what I'm in the mood for.
  4. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from CloverReef in CloverReef's Review Centre   
    Glad I could inspire something with that character, I do love dusting her off occasionally, and Corine seems quite cool.
    And I do hope you do more with this setting. Ambitions versus typing fingers battle or not. Perhaps something deliciously dark, and depraved. Like a good dark red wine.
  5. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Crap… this is your review thread. But story straight:
    Comin’ Home was the story that kicked off Blood and Lace. I wrote it first, then decided to expand on what I had.
    As to the art… it was commissioned. I asked a friend to do it up, but the pin-ups were commissioned. There is one piece floating around that I’ve not shared here yet that was part of a trade but… yeah. Guess I’ve got the authorial arrogance and neediness. Well, fuck.
    Anyway, had to set records straight, so back to your review stuff.
  6. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf reacted to JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    [totally hogging InBrightestDay’s thread] Long time ago I comissioned some art of my old (non smut!) roleplay original character, I’m respectfully disagreeing with it being neediness and arrogance and just saying I thought it was cool. Still do. S’quality artwork! Oh, and I got a $30 quick sketch based on my Mortal Kombat fic although that wasn’t my characters, more of a way to promo it on hentai-foundry when I posted there. and total humblebrag, one dude did some fanart after reading one of my TF2 stories, and another commissioned something based on one of my harry potter stories. but it’’s more humble than brag as neither told me and I only saw later.
    Oh, and if you get down there check out SinfulWolf’s Closing Time oneshot, that one was great! [/totally hogging InBrightestDay’s thread] I am probably the last person on the internet using fake html for forum posts.
     
  7. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Crap… this is your review thread. But story straight:
    Comin’ Home was the story that kicked off Blood and Lace. I wrote it first, then decided to expand on what I had.
    As to the art… it was commissioned. I asked a friend to do it up, but the pin-ups were commissioned. There is one piece floating around that I’ve not shared here yet that was part of a trade but… yeah. Guess I’ve got the authorial arrogance and neediness. Well, fuck.
    Anyway, had to set records straight, so back to your review stuff.
  8. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Heh, I am?
  9. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Your rambling there did make sense. But, while it’s good to have a support system, my exact concerns are going to be these two make love, and everything gets fixed (there’s only a few chapters left after all and at least one of them is going to be stopping the threat to the world). As JayDee said, making it F/F wouldn’t have made this particularly better. And I’ve not said you’re going to go that route… it’s just kind of primed for it right now.
  10. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Your rambling there did make sense. But, while it’s good to have a support system, my exact concerns are going to be these two make love, and everything gets fixed (there’s only a few chapters left after all and at least one of them is going to be stopping the threat to the world). As JayDee said, making it F/F wouldn’t have made this particularly better. And I’ve not said you’re going to go that route… it’s just kind of primed for it right now.
  11. Haha
    Sinfulwolf reacted to InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    And honestly, even that might not do it.
  12. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    So… all it takes for the US to adopt metric is a demonic invasion. Good to know
  13. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    So… all it takes for the US to adopt metric is a demonic invasion. Good to know
  14. Like
    Sinfulwolf reacted to InvidiaRed in What Has Science Done?   
  15. Like
    Sinfulwolf reacted to swirlingdoubt in What Has Science Done?   
    Went a little Cronenberg, there.
  16. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from Tcr in Comin' Home   
    Author: Sinfulwolf
    Title: Comin’ Home
    Summary: A soldier returns home from Hell to her lover.
    Feedback: Always welcome
    Fandom: Original – Fantasy/Sci-fi
    Warnings: F/F, Fingering
    Solo story or chaptered story: Solo story. This is actually a rather short one shot that eventually spawned my Blood and Lace setting.
    URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109262
    Review Reply thread: 
     
  17. Like
    Sinfulwolf reacted to InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Funny thing, I actually calculated how strong Luzurial is.  I wanted to have some kind of yardstick so I wasn’t making her too strong, so…
    In Whore of Heaven, Luzurial bites through a stone tentacle being used to gag her.  Assuming the magic animating the tentacle didn’t make it any stronger than normal stone (unlikely, but this at least gives us a minimum value), and assuming physical properties similar to granite, then it would have a compressive strength of roughly 200 megapascals or 29,000 psi.  Average human bite force is 162 psi, so assuming all of Luzurial’s strength scales to her bite force, that would make her (at full power) at least 180 times human strength.  Even assuming she’s at like one third of that right now, that’s still 60 times human strength.
  18. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    I’m not sure if it would have been Neutral Female only because Kevin and Abdul are clearly very out of their depths. However I think this also went to show how strong an Arch Angel can actually be.
  19. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    I’m not sure if it would have been Neutral Female only because Kevin and Abdul are clearly very out of their depths. However I think this also went to show how strong an Arch Angel can actually be.
  20. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Well, you’ve done well with the PTSD stuff, at least from my experiences with it. 
    And heh, that’ll happen. The update to dialogue does make sense in the context, and it makes a lot more sense knowing it’s not supposed to last for even an overly long time, though I would have accepted a “You’ll find out next chapter”.
  21. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf reacted to Tcr in TCR's Review Response Thread   
    Another review...  These shelves are shining lately...  <looks at review shelves; eyes boil from sockets> So shiny!
    First, something I forgot to do, a shout out @Sinfulwolf.  Sinful's been very helpful in terms and statements, not to mention actions and structure, throughout Last Full Measure.  So, I thank you greatly and appreciate your help and continued assistance with terminology far more than I can say.
    Second, another from @InBrightestDay on Last Full Measure.
    From InBrightestDay on February 06, 2019
     
    Aaand I'm back!
    So we learn a lot in this chapter.  First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness.  Second...
    I need to watch Aliens again sometime.
    Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses.  Nonetheless, I liked seeing it.  We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story.
    Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars.  It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is.  Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter.  This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character.
    The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question.  Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command.  In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man.  Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way?
     
    Aaand I'm back!
    So we learn a lot in this chapter.  First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness.
    First, welcome back. 
    Ah, yes, the resident unit incest (thanks, Sinful, not getting that term out of my head now...  lol).  There are plenty of threads here and I don't know if they'll all be covered, but...  As it progresses, there'll certainly be some awkwardness coming.
    Second...
    I need to watch Aliens again sometime.
    Do it!  Lol.  As mentioned, there's definitely a few homages and lines from Aliens in here.  I love the movie and just had to.  And that line from the movie always got me to snicker.  Lol.
    Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses.  Nonetheless, I liked seeing it.  We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story.
    I wasn't sure how well the distress call would work, so I'm glad you liked it.  I definitely love building up the suspense and a little bit of unnerving.  Not seeing what's going on was part of that plan and definite don't want people to know too much.  Lol.
    Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars.  It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is.  Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter.  This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character.
    By far, there's enough blame to go around multiple people for Celeste's miscarriage.  So, the blame isn't squarely hers, though she bears a large part of it.  I actually rewrote much of the last part of the chapter so to create a depth to Adara.  She's not a great person, and she admits it, but she does harbour a lot of guilt for multiple things; her cheating on Celeste (And everyone can have their own opinions on whether Adara did cheat on Celeste with Alexander or if she was telling the truth), her leaving Celeste, and the miscarriage  (although the reasons for that will come out as time goes along).  I'm glad my rewrites did add some character to Adara that doesn't make her just a bitch…
    The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question.  Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command.  In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man.  Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way?
    This is probably a fault of the author  (...which makes it my fault...)...  That wasn't the intention to have that implied.  (Originally Adara's LT was Alexandra, but I realized that that was flooding the story...).  Indeed, there are a few minor characters to be introed in who are male and enlisted/noncoms, so I guess I should have elaborated a little more in that regard.  (And, yeah, her COs on Mars...  They weren't the brightest...  To quote @BronxWench in reviews for Christmas "I found myself wondering exactly who the Captain and Lieutenant paid off to get their positions, because they certainly didn't end up in command based on merit.").  
    Thank you, InBrightestDay, for your review.  As always, it is much appreciated and always a pleasure to receive.
     
  22. Like
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from InBrightestDay in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Ahhh, fair enough. That makes sense too. Well, I’m glad to see a happier ending coming out of it, even if they journey won’t be easy (I don’t think it should be either, considering).
  23. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from Tcr in SinfulWolf's Review Responses   
    A new review for Blood and Lace, and it’s a thick one: 
    Firstly thank you much for the review. Especially such a long one, and never need to apologize for reading, and especially not for leaving feedback. 
    First, I’m glad that Kris and Sam’s relationship seems good, and their dialogue natural.  Dialogue is certainly an area I have some doubts in my abilities, especially in making it sound natural. As you noted that some of it seemed just a bit stinted. I think I may have been having an issue with trying too hard to push forward what I needed to happen next instead of letting these two breathe just a bit more and help really nail down how they feel about each other. Certainly something to work on in the future. Would certainly like to discuss what you felt was stinted.
    As to Sam looking things up, I thought that would be an interesting way to kill two birds with one stone. A) A little bit of exposition, but also B) Show Sam’s willingness to invest in the relationship, despite not having signed up for demonic corruption.
    Moving on to Mia’s scene well… hard to give much away about what’s going on in her mind without spoiling anything. Looking back there’s certainly some roads I could have pushed down instead of what I did. But we shall see how it turns out no? Glad you liked the shadowy creatures. There is certainly more to come. No answers to them for now. 
    I did try to make the scene hot and disturbing at once. There’s a few times I gun for that.
    Rasha… at this point in the story Rasha’s personal tale is turning out to be a bit of tragedy. The spiral keep’s descending.
    Derek, well… same replies. Thank ye kindly. As to what he’s calling for. You’ll see.
     
     
     
  24. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from Tcr in SinfulWolf's Review Responses   
    Bit behind. Got a few reviews from TCR on Blood and Lace.
    “They” actually refers to the government. Certainly should have been more specific there. I was kind of going for that ambiguous ‘they’ that people use when talking about government organizations. Glad ye liked the description though.
    Aye, there should be. Though I don’t think italics are needed. That’s certainly a style thing.
    Too many “thoughs” I think is the biggest issue. Missed that one.
    Yeah, I fucked up with Your/You’re. The comma though I don’t think is needed. Comma’s generally mean a pause in dialogue. Didn’t want one. Yeah, used Courtney too often here. But, if you’ve not noticed, I tend to put a fair bit in after a dialogue tag. That’s the way I write, and that’s starting to really get into “proper” and “science vs. art” of writing. 
    Glad ye liked the sex though, and how the scene closed out. Though, I won’t tell on what yer reading into it.
    I really wanted to show the aftermath of the train, and that scene was just too cool in my head not to include. And it could be that, or it could be she’s just doing better getting away from her now ex. 
    Holy fuck is that line awkward. But, yeah Rasha is really delivering on the T&A aspect, mostly.
    Yep, thin.
    Why thank you. There are aspects that certainly I wanted to be brutal.
    Yeah, I focused more on the interactions here. I didn’t want to go into too much depth here though. It was mostly just to get these two back together and show how they get on. Didn’t want to play with much of their abilities cause then I can’t slowly unveil them through the following chapters.
  25. Thanks
    Sinfulwolf got a reaction from Tcr in SinfulWolf's Review Responses   
    Another from @Tcr
    Thank ye. Always like to make a good impression with the chapter opening. Though, I certainly should have done more to show that the roof was leaking. A bit of confusion like that can certainly take people out of it. Though, not much happened in the room the night previously. I have gotten to the point that sometimes I just allude to the sex rather than showing, mostly because there’d  be too many sex scenes, and not enough driving of the plot. I know this is a smutty story but it’s still a story first. In hindsight I think I could have done more with Kris’s realization.
    Eh, parts I wanted to sound somewhat awkward. A little less super hot and more stumbly. How well I succeeded, I dunno. Though at the end of the day, most of the scene should be sexy. And I’m glad it was.
    I’ll watch the commas, but I’ll keep sticking away from italics. It kind of hampers my style of perspective.
    I really liked that scene, was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it.
    I have my moments certainly, lol.
    I did like how that turned out. Though, I think the biggest change for Mia is being back in a sort of comfort zone, and away from her ex. She’s got a task to focus on now, instead of being left to wallow.
    Rasha is the most difficult to write, mostly due to the addictions she’s bringing upon herself. It does feed into lust being more than sex, but it’s also her human element, trying to deal with what she’s seen and done while in Hell. Burying it all in substance abuse. But I did really want to play with the sins, and what else could come from them. I play with the other 6 later on in the story a bit.
    You’ll have to read on and see
    The Derek scenes here are shorter mostly because he gets some screen time already with Kris. This scene was really just to help set up some later shit. Though, him being the weakest in your eyes, perhaps I’ll have to tinker and play with him a bit. Give some more meat to them bones. 
    I shall do what I can, but thank you for the reviews. And long ones I do enjoy.