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Tcr

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Everything posted by Tcr

  1. Chapter 3 is posted. Officially feeling productive, if only a little.
  2. I've noticed that, on a whole, men aren't all like that, but there are a few out there that I've heard and, Well, why not add some realistic approach? Lol. Yeah. Honestly, in my opinion, it wouldn't be great either way (magic turning heterosexual people gay or vice versa), but I understand what you're saying. I found the implication of the ending to be... disturbing at best. But that's what I like about novels, people can always read things differently with different implications and thoughts. With regards to having extreme bigotry in characters... I have been told that in Hunted, it is probably the worst with that regard and... I admit that it definitely did go over the top, which is not the intention I had. In Last Full Measure, I started out similar to one of my others, where sexuality is less an issue. Aside from random spots of people... I'm not sure I'm explaining it right... lol. I am glad that Lian and Celeste's friendship is reassuring, and that Lian genuinely cares about her comes across. They've been through a lot together. I'm glad. Lol. Adara is definitely not a likeable character, but, there are some qualities I hope will make her even remotely redeemable by the end. Yeah. I'll write out a scene and it'll be like, "that sounds good" and then go back and second guess it all the way through and tear it apart. So it's like two weeks of writing four to ten pages... lol.
  3. A second review on Last Full Measure. I think I might have another fan, and I’m more than glad . From InBrightestDay on January 24, 2019 Chapter 2 Good news for Celeste, that bit getting caught in the shower wasn't nearly as awkward as it could have been, and luckily for her Tirsa seems to actually be interested! I like the banter between Celeste and Lian. There was some of it in the last chapter, but I like the stuff here about speaking in French specifically because she knows Lian can't understand it. And then the story gets dark. I really feel for Celeste here. A lot of people suffering from depression, especially if they blame themselves for something (I'm assuming Celeste blames herself for her daughter's death), often have a hard time reaching out to others for help, and it's clear that Celeste's mother, whatever her faults may be, genuinely wants to help (more than can be said for her father with that "Lauriers don't cry" bullshit), but Celeste keeps it to herself. I guess she wants to remain in the military, which raises the alarming possibility that she's hoping to end up KIA. A final note on something I forgot about last time: I like that you called it Orpheus Station. Given that Celeste has a lost love (a daughter, but still), the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, about losing someone and wishing you could have them back, has special resonance here. Again, thank you @InBrightestDay, for another review, it is greatly appreciated and I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far. Good news for Celeste, that bit getting caught in the shower wasn't nearly as awkward as it could have been, and luckily for her Tirsa seems to actually be interested! I’m kind of hoping that she doesn’t come across as ‘too’ interested. lol. There’s a little tidbit of Tirsa’s character down the line (in Chapter 4) that might counter that… Which would be bad considering… lol. I like the banter between Celeste and Lian. There was some of it in the last chapter, but I like the stuff here about speaking in French specifically because she knows Lian can't understand it. I’m glad. I was really hesitant about keeping the non-English elements of the story (Celeste’s Quebec French, another character’s occasional Serbian, et cetera) as it seemed like a lot of people I’d talk to, here and elsewhere, seemed to be against having those elements within. Emphasis on seemed, lol. But I wanted a more… I guess, authentic feel to the characters, in that they will speak their native languages occasionally. And I’m glad you liked their banter. Apparently, dialogue isn’t always my strong suit. And then the story gets dark. I really feel for Celeste here. A lot of people suffering from depression, especially if they blame themselves for something (I'm assuming Celeste blames herself for her daughter's death), often have a hard time reaching out to others for help, and it's clear that Celeste's mother, whatever her faults may be, genuinely wants to help (more than can be said for her father with that "Lauriers don't cry" bullshit), but Celeste keeps it to herself. I guess she wants to remain in the military, which raises the alarming possibility that she's hoping to end up KIA. This was actually an element recommended to me from a few different people and through several days, and weeks, of research into combat veterans, so I do hope I’ve done them at least some honour there. I won’t go way out and spoil everything, but she certainly does blame herself for her daughter’s death and the reasons for that event happening in the first place are, indeed, her fault. The events are actually taken up in the Christmas anthology and will eventually be discussed in the story itself. She does hide her emotional turmoil from others (via, mostly, the workouts), but it does come out (such as the case with Adara and the anger there. And it’s funny that you bring up General Laurier’s line. He is a hardass, but, at least I hope, in the course of the story, it does come across that he does actually want to help (and does love) Celeste, he’s just not… one of those ‘highly emotional’ (which I’ve kind of based off a familial relation in my own life…). And, yeah, Celeste wants to remain with the United Earth Marine Corps and she definitely has a self-destructive lean towards herself and others… A final note on something I forgot about last time: I like that you called it Orpheus Station. Given that Celeste has a lost love (a daughter, but still), the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, about losing someone and wishing you could have them back, has special resonance here. I’m really glad that some of the more… subtle elements of the story are being picked up on. I love mythology and my use of Orpheus for the station was definitely not a mistake in both the terms of Celeste and the loss of her daughter as well as some of the later story, in a more abstract way. Much like my love of history, which hasn’t come across all that much in this one, I do hope that the other subtle entries, at least what I think are subtle entries and hopefully are good references, will also come across as good as the ones you have picked up on. Thank you, again. I greatly appreciate your reviews and the concrit that you have mentioned in the previous chapter as well as what you liked in them. It’s always good to receive one, like a payday. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed these two chapters and definitely hope you’ll keep reading and enjoying the chapters as they come and, for my part, I shall endeavour not to disappoint.
  4. Well, I’m not saying every male out there wants it… But I’m sure there’s more than a few who do. That’s the one, though I might have messed up the author’s name. It’s been a while since I’ve read it (although I did several times). And, funnily enough, was discussing it with a friend only a few days ago. It’s definitely a good take on what might have happened, and he does explore the idea better than I could (I’m not that conceited, lol). The only point that I was disappointed with that novel (and, admittedly, it was written at a time when this was… both the norm and nigh mandatory necessity) was the ending with the ‘magical cure-all medicine to revert everyone to ‘normal’’… That left a sour note with me in what was otherwise a great novel. LOL. I’m glad you liked that part. I debated it, that I know for sure, because I was thinking it would make her out to be such a bitch by adding that, but then it was like: Well, why not? She's been cheated on, tossed away (so she sees it), and she… Well, not going to give out a lot of spoilers, but yeah… Celeste definitely has some anger issues when it comes to Adara, as you see in the next chapter. LOL. My first sex scene written… Oh God, that was awkward. (Covers face with hand)… Extremely awkward… It worked in the course of the scene and the novel in general, but that was… Unintentional… lol. And it definitely terrified me as to what people would think about it. I’m still nervous when it comes to scenes involving intimate actions, I’m always doubting how well it will turn out… Or if it’ll be disappointing… lol. But thank you.
  5. Well... I've apparently fallen behind in review responses... Gotta crack the whip again... But, to get back into it, let's start with the newest, from InBrightestDay on Last Full Measure. From InBrightestDay on January 23, 2019 How has no one reviewed this yet? Oh well; let's get started! Chapter 1 I like the job you've done establishing the characters, Celeste in particular. She's the badass, hurting veteran, which could have come across as cliched, but I think she's very sympathetic. She's just been through a bad breakup in addition to whatever happened to her on Mars, and it's definitely easy to feel for her. I am curious about the society of this world. This line in particular made me wonder. Does that mean guys want Lian to be gay? "Unapologetically heterosexual" is another interesting choice of words, as it somewhat implies that heterosexuality is frowned upon or disliked in some way. Lian's self-confidence is obvious, but it nonetheless makes me feel a little bad for her if prejudice about sexuality hasn't gotten better but simply reversed in the future. Also... Was that an Aliens reference, by any chance? The bit in the shower was hot, although depending on how this goes it might get really awkward for Celeste in a moment. The only criticism I have is this bit: Lian's worried about "that kind of talk," but all Celeste actually said was "I wouldn't." Was there originally more dialogue there? I'm definitely going to read the next chapter, though I'll admit I'm a little worried. The phrase "the last full measure of devotion", after all, generally refers to dying in the line of duty. How has no one reviewed this yet? Oh well; let's get started! To be honest, I'm surprised at how quickly the first review, yours, came. So thank you, InBrightestDay, especially with the extreme self doubt I've been having lately, this was definitely a needed and welcoming sight. I like the job you've done establishing the characters, Celeste in particular. She's the badass, hurting veteran, which could have come across as cliched, but I think she's very sympathetic. She's just been through a bad breakup in addition to whatever happened to her on Mars, and it's definitely easy to feel for her. I'm glad you like them and definitely Celeste. Although I wrote this first and had the Christmas Anthology entry long after, I was worried that Celeste may not be sympathetic, or have a hard time being as such. And you'll definitely learn more about Celeste, her ex, and what happened on Mars as the story goes along. I am curious about the society of this world. This line in particular made me wonder. Does that mean guys want Lian to be gay? "Unapologetically heterosexual" is another interesting choice of words, as it somewhat implies that heterosexuality is frowned upon or disliked in some way. Lian's self-confidence is obvious, but it nonetheless makes me feel a little bad for her if prejudice about sexuality hasn't gotten better but simply reversed in the future. I will admit, it was a line I worried about including and perhaps shouldn't have. It actually stems from a friend of mine, who would be asked to "go bi"... Eventually they just said they were unapologetically heterosexual. The scenario just worked around in such a way that I thought it worked in here (especially since I've seen or heard men talking about how the only thing "wrong" with someone was they weren't interested in other women). So kind of combined it... Not well, I think. Lol. Admittedly, the scenario of the flipped prejudice in regards to sexuality, an author, Mandela (I believe), in The Forever War explores that probably better than I could. Also... Was that an Aliens reference, by any chance? Definitely. There's a few references to Aliens strewn about in here. Firstly, because I love the movie. Secondly, because it's been an inspiration for this one. And I'm glad that it didn't pass by . The bit in the shower was hot, although depending on how this goes it might get really awkward for Celeste in a moment. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Lol. I'm not much of a sex writer... (irony at its finest)... And being the first attempt at a solo... I was absolutely nervous at how it was going to be seen. The only criticism I have is this bit: Lian's worried about "that kind of talk," but all Celeste actually said was "I wouldn't." Was there originally more dialogue there? I'll admit, I think there was some further dialogue that I edited out with intention of returning, then completely forgot about. I'll have to try to remember now. I'm definitely going to read the next chapter, though I'll admit I'm a little worried. The phrase "the last full measure of devotion", after all, generally refers to dying in the line of duty. Well, Firstly, I'm pleasantly surprised. I wasn't sure people would gather where the title was from. It is definitely a foreshadowing title and one I hope lives up to its name. Second, I'm glad you're enticed enough to read chapter 2, at the very least, and hopefully it continues to live up to expectations. Thank you, @InBrightestDay, for your review.
  6. Chapter 2 (C'est la Vie) is posted.
  7. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 29 (Hell's Frozen Over) is position got your reading enjoyment.
  8. Chapters 19 (The Needs of the Few...) and 20 (...Outweigh the Needs of the Many) are posted.
  9. Author: tcrTitle: Last Full MeasureSummary: Sergeant Major Celeste Laurier has not had it easy. Wounded in action three years ago on Mars during Christmas, her fiancee left her, and she had been relegated to service on Orpheus Station orbiting Pluto, far from her desired combat. But that’s about to change. A distress beacon pulls a company of Marines to a routine mission, only for them to land and be surrounded by unknown hostiles. Trapped, nowhere to run or hide, they must fight the enemy without and survive the growing tensions within.Feedback: Greatly appreciated.Fandom: Original/Science FictionWarnings: AFFO Angst Bi FF Fingering MCD MiCD Oral Preg Racist Solo Trans ViolenceSolo story or chaptered story: Chaptered.URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109223
  10. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 28 is posted.
  11. Well, to be honest, I used to write a lot more (ask @CloverReef, she’ll vouch for that… lol), but in returning to university (and three English classes, because I’m a crazy bastard) and work (because… well, crazy bastard), which is essentially a new job with a different place in the same company (again, crazy...)… I’ve been finding it harder to write in what amounts to spare time. Writing at work (at least, writing stuff for here at work) is impossible, especially with fifteen people crowded around and writing some kinky fun time adventures with people not necessarily looking over the shoulder, but still clearly seeing it, just doesn’t work too well… And essays and research and all that jazz, just drained the writing (lucky to have written anything for the anthologies), so much so that, even with classes being over and finals done, just haven’t been writing. Albeit, did get some done yesterday and a little today, so… YAY! But, stress (not to mention a distinct hate for the season… thank you, retail…), work, university… They’ve all played a major factor in a lack of written word…
  12. Tcr

    Hunted

    As a Christmas gift to the fans, Chapter 27 (New Arrivals) is now posted.
  13. Well, thus ends the semester...  Now to wait to see how badly I failed to achieve the necessary mark.  But...  Now I can take some stress off and get back to writing again!  Yay!!!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I’m sure you did very well, but yay to less stress! 

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I have absolute confidence in you :D

    4. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      If you passed, that’d be wonderful! If you failed, we can blast Another Brick in The Wall and bitch until you feel better. Now get yo write on, boiiii! 

  14. So, did a bad thing...  Still doing a bad thing...  Posting in class...  But, two chapters of Hunted up and hopefully get to reviewing the Halloween anthology this evening...  NSFW, you say?  I say, if no one knows, no one says anything...  Lol.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Sinfulwolf
    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      You have to recite the last page of the last book you read backwards to bleed off the bad luck.

    4. Tcr

      Tcr

      I like how @Sinfulwolf immediately goes to whips...  lol.

      Well, aside from DP, who I'll read when not at work (I think that might be pushing it...  lol), reviewed.  :) .

      YAY!

  15. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapters 25 (Help, Maybe) and 26 (Human After All) posted.
  16. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 24 (What Do You Know?) Is posted.
  17. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 23 (Worth the Risk) is posted for your reading enjoyment.
  18. Well, between university and work (when I find one here...)...  It's going to be very sporadic posting schedule.

    1. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      We understand. Pwn the hell out of that there edumacation! I’m proud of you

    2. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      Take care of yerself! Get life solid, then come back to us!

  19. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 22 (Good Enough Bait) is posted.
  20. Well, after 3 weeks of disaster, finally got moved...  Four days before university starts.  Well, at least a little time to write.  :)

    1. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      I’m glad you’re finally getting a chance to get settled in before you show university who’s boss

    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Get that halloween story out of the way before the term starts!

    3. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      That was quite a bit of time. Hopefully the disaster is all past.

  21. Well, what might be the last few chapters for a while were just posted.  Internet is gone after tomorrow for the move, so hopefully that returns pretty quickly, but eventually I will be back (even if it involves cheekily using other internet sources...)

    1. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      Best of luck in your move. I’ll be reading in your absence… and hopefully writing as well.

  22. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapters 20 (A Way Out) and 21 (Live One) posted.
  23. Here, I thought I was the only one who did that. I have a weird pattern going on. I will write some stuff completely on paper and have it red lined and worked on repeatedly before I go to the computer. Other things, I type out and maintain that. And, as others have said, occasionally for me, it depends where I am. If I don't have my laptop, but something strikes me that goes beyond simple notes, I'll write on whatever I can. (I have asked for a blank piece of printer paper while waiting in a doctor's office and while being in the hospital recovering... I am not too proud to beg for paper! I did get interesting looks, though.)
  24. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 19 (Taste of Death But Once) is posted.
  25. Okay, as usual, I'm late to the party... lol. As you're my beta, you kind of know how I write... But… For me, my writing is usually as a scene plays in the head. The movie plays upstairs and the fingers type it out. Sometime not for the better. As for what actually occurs, that depends largely on what I want to convey in the chapter ahead (YAY 1 for kind of but not really planning ahead!!!) Even in that opening, it's different all round. One can be all about the atmosphere, dark or otherwise, and thus starting with a depressive news or something similar that I try to permeate the rest. Others just the city surroundings to lay the groundwork. (Shamelessly, I do love the beginning of CHHW...)... Did I just ramble? I'm good at rambling random rambles randomly.
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