The Yankee's Nephew and the Philosopher's Stone review thread.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

On the off chance anyone reviews The Yankee’s Nephew and the Philosopher’s Stone, this is the review thread.

This story is completely separate from my other HP stories on this site.  In fact, with possible violence and mild swearing, this story should be SFW.

I “borrowed” some characters from my original fiction story, changed them slightly, and sent them off to merry old England.  So, instead of going to work for Grunnings Drills and marrying Vernon Dursley, Petunia Evens goes to work for the US State Department and marries John Dvorak, and is mostly reconciled with her younger sister before Lilly Potter is murdered in Godric’s Hollow.  Her firstborn child, and the other four she eventually has, are magical children, rather than only-child Dudley Dursley.

Reviews are not common here, but most authors do appreciate well reasoned ones.  Should this story receive well-reasoned reviews, I’ll reply to them here.

Thanks.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

I suppose I can post some chapter notes in this thread beyond any review answers, starting with Chapter 1.

First, the openly portrayed sexuality, especially the bisexuality and incest from Riding the Lincoln Way won’t be happening here.  The circumstances that caused those particular relationship quirks won’t happen, so the gay incest won’t happen either.  The “possible” relationships of the older Dvorak children will happen, but it will be mostly off-camera and in a much more “family-friendly” manner.  “The Treasures” will still form and become highly successful, although with at least some different mentors and “discoverers.”

A few other “changes” happened pre-story here, starting with Rick Dvorak/Ricardo Floyd’s asthma being discovered much later, seeing Rick medically discharged from the Army as a CW2 on the tail end of his second combat tour as an Army Helicopter Pilot in Vietnam.  So several key pre-story plot points from Lincoln either happened completely differently in Yankee Nephew, or didn’t happen at all.  John and Catherine actually did marry, and whatever parenting issues she had in Lincoln she didn’t have here.

The various pre-story tragedies here were the only way I could see to believably have John taking care of the children he was taking care of when he met Petunia Evans, as well as explaining how a very talented new car salesmen from near Chicago would be working in the UK.  Later chapters will reveal more, including why John and Catherine only had the two boys together in this story, even though the remained together much longer than they did in Lincoln.

As much as possible, I’m trying to stick close to the canon personality traits of most of the main characters as I understand them, at least to start off.  But, since this (like pretty much all HP Hogwarts Fanfiction) is an alternate universe, and the whole point of having John and Petunia marry is to change things.  Dudley John Dvorak will not be a “Magic Dudley Dursley.”  Dudley Dursley does exist with a different mother, and will be a minor annoying Muggle character in this story, since Vernon and Petunia Dursley will remain in the same primary school district as John and Petunia Dvorak.

Likewise, the meeting of Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall was different than in canon, and I might have to re-write it further.  The first of JKR’s multiple plot holes in canon shows up here, and I’ve at least tried to close it up a bit.  I might end up re-writing it further, since the PS working relationship Dumbledore and McGonagall have doesn’t seem to make sense in light of the later books.

As far as I can tell in canon, Sirius Black didn’t catch Peter Pettigrew until after Harry was placed with the Dursleys, although he probably didn’t know that Harry was there.  As for Dumbledore’s motivations, I believe that while Dumbledore might have believed Sirius innocent of betraying the Potters, that he was certain Sirius killed Pettigrew, and twelve innocent bystanders besides, and that Pettigrew as truly dead.  In fact, even in canon, Dumbledore doesn’t ‘warm up’ to Black until after he discovers for certain that Peter Pettigrew murdered the Muggle bystanders to frame Sirius and fake his own death.  By that time, Fudge was too personally invested, and well as too thoroughly bribed to give Sirius the trial (and exoneration) he rightly should have had.  While this may change here, Sirius won’t become Harry’s custodial guardian.

The only reason in canon that Sirius Black was a desirable custodial guardian for Harry was that Vernon and Petunia Dursley were a pair of abusive oxygen thieves.  John and Petunia Dvorak are not and will not be like that.  With a pair of loving sane parents and several siblings rather than a pair of neurotic abusive relatives and a bullying cousin, Harry wouldn’t dream of moving in with Sirius Black, even if he’s freed.

While Harry will grow up knowing about the Wizarding World, he won’t be raised in the Wizarding World.  He will be firmly planted in both worlds, at least until he starts Hogwarts.  Even then, he will know about both the Muggle and Wizarding world.  He will remain Harry Potter even while considering John and Petunia parents rather than aunt and uncle.  He will only ever be raised with the idea that Lilly set a booby-trap on him, not just to protect him with her love, but to take Voldemort out.  He will see Lilly Potter as a warrior and defender, and hope to live up to her example rather than buy into any of the “Boy Who Lived” hype in the Wizarding world.  He will have wizard and witch friends before attending Hogwarts, and they will quickly take up the same mindset.

Finally, while Harry won’t wear “Dudley’s cast-offs,” he won’t run around wearing new clothing all the time, either.  In canon, the Dursleys dressed Harry in Dudley’s old clothes because they didn’t fit, were already worn out, and to humiliate Harry just as much as it was to avoid spending any money on Harry.  Here, Harry won’t wear Dudley Dvorak’s cast-offs because they are just more than a month apart in age, and Dudley’s clothes won’t fit Harry.  While Dudley Dvorak won’t be a lard-ass, he will actually be ‘big-boned’ as well as muscular for his age.  But, John Dvorak is a tightwad at times, and he raises all of his children to be the same way.  So, while Harry won’t be wearing garbage, he will dress more like Ron Weasley than Draco Malfoy, despite the Dvoraks being even wealthier than the canon Dursleys.  In fact, I found “another Petunia” for Vernon just so I could show what a total asshole he was, even while Petunia found someone to inspire her to become a much better person than she was in canon.

Thanks.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

I posted a revision to Chapter 1 at the same time I posted Chapter 2.

In Chapter 1, I explicitly wrote out several points that were only implied in the previous version.

Chapter 2 notes.  First, I explain why this version of John and Catherine Dvorak only had two children.  In Riding the Lincoln Way, the explanation is rather obvious, but here, it needed to be explained in a ‘plot-consistent’ way, since Catherine Taylor Dvorak ‘stuck around’ well after Michael’s birth.

Next, I show that Remus Lupin was the the ‘truest’ and ‘most consistent’ of the Marauders.  In Lincoln Way, John Dvorak has become an expert in rapidly and correctly judging others as to their motives and aspirations towards him and those under his protection.  Here, he is housing Lupin, and this pays off right away, and continues to pay off.  David Dvorak is also shown to have a similar tendency, which he also has in Lincoln Way, even if it’s less obvious.  We also get to see that Harry and Dudley are insane broom fliers, even if their closest friend is not.

Next, John describes his ancestors in this universe, and their relationship with the Wizarding world.  This is mostly ‘background’ to help explain what happens later on.  The ‘hedge academies’ are fanon, not canon, but I’ve used them here  The ‘fanon’ idea of ‘lesser magic schools’ makes more sense than JKR’s idea of only one school for an entire region of the world.  The ‘big schools’ do get most of the student magic wielders, though.

Did you really expect a person with “common sense” to see Peter Pettegrew in his Animagus form to not recognize him?  Especially if that person also knows what kind of ‘chunks’ of a person will or won’t survive a serious explosion?  John is the more ‘lawful’ of the youngest Dvorak brothers.  Rick would have just conjured a baseball bat and ended things right then and there.  John was able to tell that Arthur, and all the Weasleys had only been taken advantage of, though Rick would also have seen this.  ‘Ol’ Petey’ does manage to get a trial, for what good it does him.

John considers Sirius a friend, so he visits him along with Remus in hospital, after Sirius is allowed to go to the hospital.

This is more common for boys than for girls, but they also have this happen.  You meet the particular person, and all of a sudden, you are closer than siblings, and you freely share secrets that you wouldn’t even dream of sharing with just anyone.  This will probably happen with Harry and Ron, it happens here with David and Bill Weasley.

Cheers!

 

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 3 notes.  First, I hope I’ve done a good enough job telling the story instead of telling about the story.

The first scene at the Burrow shows the changes and non-changes from the Lincoln Way characters.  While the relationships between the Dvorak/Floyd brothers are less contentious here, they are still not all “skittles and beer.”  John is actually civil to Abner Junior and William, and only part of that is the recently demanded by Petunia reconciliation in exchange for her reconciling with Lilly.  Frank is also not nearly as big of a dick to his son Andy as he is in Lincoln Way, although his inability to help his dyslexic son is still present, and still sees Andy moving in with John Dvorak.  Frank’s relationship with his (dead here) brother is slightly better, because Rick actually flew Army helicopters in combat here, instead of being washed out for asthma during flight school.

One of the other “random switch-flips” here was Junior and William’s relationships with John and their mother.  While in Lincoln Way Junior and William believed Abner Senior could do no wrong, here the two biological sons of Abner Doubleday Dvorak took a more nuanced view of life.  They protected John instead of bullying or trying to seduce him, even while they still knew that John and Richard didn’t share their biological father with them.  Also, unlike in Lincoln Way, they also knew who helped Abner the First embark on his “journey of self discovery through a sausage casing.”  While neither Junior nor William could resist a ten inch dick, they weren’t nearly as affectionate to the man who hosted it, even if they both agreed that “Dad had it coming.  He should have fucked us who wanted it instead of trying for ‘little John.’”  They were also not resentful towards their mother at all.  When Sally Dvorak died, she had four loving sons gathered around her to see her off, even if the older two and the younger two didn’t get along well.  While John continued to own the house, it became more a of a family “Museum and Refuge” than a rental property.

David succeeds in keeping his very close friendship with Tim Cash, because he works at it.  You saw more of that here.  He’s also mostly formed an equally close friendship with Bill Weasley.  You’ve also seen more of that here.  Charley and Aaron will be members of this ‘orbit,’ because of the affection each has for their closest younger brothers.  In JKR canon Bill is closest with Charley out of all of his siblings, though he’s the “cool and admired” older brother to all of them.  Likewise, Aaron is David’s “third birthday present,” and while Rick and Stacy Dvorak were much better parents than Sam and Stacy Kopchek, David did fix more than his share of bottles and diaper changes for Aaron, even if his parents were actually watching from the wings here.

In the “tell about the story” paragraphs leading to the press conference and wand purchases, I gave a quick snapshot into the workings of the Dvorak and Weasley families.  John is friends with Sirius Black as well as Remus Lupin, and Sirius wants to be a part of Harry’s life, even while freely admitting that blood wards stronger than the Hogwarts wards are the best place for Harry to grow up, with two loving parents and a house full of loving siblings.  Pet is taking a leaf out of Lilly’s book on the remaining Marauders.  You’ve already seen the last of her discomfort with Remus’s “furry little problem,” but she knows to keep the “Mutt” on a tight leash.  The boys will see their toy brooms, in Devon, and off-camera.  Pet may be starting to like magic, but she really enjoys her walls free of broom-handle sized holes, thank you very much.

Frank in both stories is all about family and responsibility, even if he isn’t any good with his youngest son.  Here, he buys a house by John’s, for his and Junior’s use when needed.  Junior and Hannah will not die in this story prior to the 1990s, even though William Dvorak is toast.  Sometimes, even in real life, things are decided in seconds.  In Lincoln Way, Junior makes it to a railroad crossing with their daughter in the car with them, and they pay with their lives.  Here, Junior and Hannah arrive after the drunk student rams a freight train, if they’re on that road then at all.

While Frank didn’t stage the ‘impromptu’ press conference, he absolutely knew that it was likely, and he planned ahead; including a press release to hand out.  He also managed to build up enough ‘clout’ with MaCUSA to have them issue diplomatic license plates for his car, which is almost never done in real life, or here.  Rita Skeeter also discovered, much to her own cost, that the Taylor girls are almost as nasty to deal with as the Evans girls if you piss them off.  Even in JKR canon, Vernon Dursley never pushed Petunia further than she intended to go herself anyway.

For the wand selection, I ended up having to do more wandlore research than I had done up to now for Third Time’s a Soul Bond, and that ‘Ron Weasley’ actually makes wands.  The first thing I tried was one of the online “wand selection personality tests.”  I took the test for Danny Dvorak, giving the closest answers to what Danny himself would give if he was a real person.  The “options” didn’t match up with Danny would have chosen, so I had to pick the “closest” to the right answer for him.  And, the “quiz” gave Danny The Elder Wand.  I wasn’t going to have a fourteen year old guitar-playing Harley-Davidson fanatic bushwack Albus Dumbledore, so he got what he got here.  While this is a Harry Potter story, and Harry Potter will do the heavy lifting once he’s older than a toddler, the Lincoln Way characters will have some involvement in the story beyond “background scenery.”

This story is also focusing more on David Dvorak when compared to his fellow Lincoln Way characters. 

Spoiler

David will pass his NEWTs in sixth year, and accidentally banish Cuthbert Binns.  He will be forced by both John and Dumbledore to become the History Professor at Hogwarts for the rest of the story.

David will still be part of The Treasures, The Treasures will still be very popular and profitable, and he’ll still be an accomplished helicopter pilot; but he will do other things.  And while the Lincoln Way characters won’t be “Deus ex Machina” characters, they won’t be wimps, either.  You will see those cherry wands again.  The rest of the Dvoraks got wands that matched their personalities.  Likewise; Sirius, Bill, and Charley got wands most suited to their attitudes.  Ronnie will eventually get a wand in much better condition.  And, Ron won’t deal with his ash wand being weakened by being an “heirloom” wand.  It will work quite well for him, actually.

We will see several more chapters, including at least one run “on camera” of the Hogwarts Express before Harry goes to Hogwarts to learn magic.

Cheers! 

[Wilde_Guess]

“Embassies, Houses, Cars, and Tags.”

Hi, all.  I just had to do some quick “corrections,” and I’l also explain about cars and driving in this story.

I will be asking the Archive Moderators to change the rating to “Adult +” and change some content flags after I post this entry.  While nothing “flaggy” has been posted yet, the story is heading to the point where it might happen.  Although it won’t be covered in anywhere near the detail of Harry Potter’s time at Hogwarts, we will be reading about Bill, Charlie, and Percy Weasley’s pre-1991-1992 Hogwarts careers, as well as the Hogwarts-bound OCs.  So some content tags are appropriate, especially since one of the OCs is already dating.  And, even in JKR Canon, the content tag “MiCD” is warranted, since Professor Quirell definitely does not leave the “Mirror Room” under his own power.  Since that part of the Archive Database is still locked down for security reasons, the authors only get one chance to set the flags themselves; and have to ask the moderators to do it for them afterwards.  The flags that appear don’t guarantee any “creamy porny goodness,” especially in a story that is not porn-driven, but incidents that might happen or come close to happening will be covered by the appropriate tags, even if it’s only a few paragraphs in a very large story.  So, if you want to read a lot of Dvorak Sex Scenes, you should change channels over to “Originals” and read Riding the Lincoln Way.

As an American writing Harry Potter Fanfiction, you would rightly expect me to know that the US Embassy moved from Grosvenor Square to Nine Elms in Wadsworth to some controversy in 2018.  I didn’t, sorry.  I have fixed this, and also changed the relevant train station from Waterloo to Vauxhall.  At least it was on the same train line, even you would take the bus from Vauxhall to Grosvenor Square instead of the tube from Waterloo to Nine Elms.

I also managed to find Steve VanderArk’s wonderful map of the Little Whinging development.  Looking at it, I changed the house numbers for Arabella Figg’s house and the house Frank Floyd purchases.  Even with the original house numbers I’ve chosen, I’ve been going with the movie/fanon location having Figg directly across the street from Number Four Privet Drive, which according to VanderArk would be Number Seven.  I had Frank buy Number Two, since it is next door to Number Four.  So, the west side of Privet Drive will be Number 2 (Frank Floyd Guest House,) Number Four (Harry Potter, Pet Dvorak, et al,) Number Six (a long-suffering family living between the “Jolly Red Yankee Giant” and “Dog-Shit City,” and Number Eight (Vernon, Petunia, Dudley, and often Marjorie Dursley with her ill-behaved dogs.)  The family in Number Six might sell to a Milkman and his family who managed to win the lottery in the early ‘90s, but that is many chapters away if it happens at all.

Ashford, Surrey, is a “common fan consensus” for the location of Little Whinging, though not absolute.  I decided to go with it, and I’m staying with it.  Why?  Because Ashford is more or less underneath the flightpath for Heathrow Airport.  The sound deadening installed in all new construction homes in this area because of one of the world’s busiest airports is also perfect for The Treasures to work out of the basement of Number Two without bothering the neighbors with the noise from their rehearsal and practice sessions.

Finally, the “cars.”  The Austin FX-4 was the iteration of the “London Taxi” being built that year.  As will soon be mentioned starting with Chapter 4, both the brand-new one John bought for himself and the late-model one he bought to loan “extra-long-term” to Remus Lupin have “diplomatic plates” on them.  “Diplomatic” registration plates are issued by many countries, including both the UK and the United States for foreign diplomats driving in their countries.  While these plates are not a “get-out-of-jail-free” card, cars with diplomatic plates are given much less “intense” traffic and parking law enforcement when compared to the “ordinary” citizens of the host country.  While John is a civil service employee, he is also high enough on the totem pole that he and his American-born children are in the UK under Diplomatic Passports, and John’s cars all have diplomatic plates.  Only Harry himself is not directly given diplomatic protection, since he was born in the UK to two native UK Citizens.  But, as John and Pet’s adopted son, he has some diplomatic protections.  Petunia also has some diplomatic protection being John’s husband, but without renouncing her UK Citizenship, that protection is less than John has.

But, back to the cars.  John brought his ‘67 Ford over from the US.  He had to title and register it in the UK.  It has diplomatic plates.  He also bought Petunia a new (then) Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith II, since she didn’t like and couldn’t yet legally drive either of John’s two cars  It has diplomatic plates.  Any other car or motorcycle John owns and drives in the UK will also get diplomatic plates.  Frank Floyd benefited from a game of diplomatic one-upsmanship between MaCUSA and the UK, so his Phantom V, a coach-built chauffeur driven limousine, has diplomatic plates, too.  He will also be shown later to lawfully have a diplomatic passport, partly but not entirely from the same incident that got him his diplomatic plates. 

In the UK, if you get your driving license with a manual transmission, you can drive any passenger car.  If you get your driving license in a car with an automatic transmission, you can’t legally drive a car with a manual transmission without passing and additional test to get the “automatic only” restriction removed from your driving license.  So, John had to get Petunia something with an automatic transmission, since that’s all she was licensed for then.  He went with the Silver Wraith II because he could afford to pay cash easily and casually for it, and because it was a big car that would only take two trips instead of three or four if she had to get all the kids somewhere by herself.

The Silver Wraith II was also a focal point of one of the many “canon busters” here.  According to JKR, Vernon Dursley’s first (off-camera) meeting with James and Lilly Potter started out similarly to what I actually portrayed in Chapter 1.  In JKR Canon, Vernon bragged about whatever high-end luxury he and Petunia had just bought.  James in turn bragged about his racing broom.  But, having a chip on his shoulder, plus not being particularly observant or knowing anything about motorcycles, Vernon believed that the Nimbus 1200 was priced like a Muggle broom, rather than Ducati 900 SS which was its Muggle equivalent.  When James stated that he “didn’t work,” when combined with bragging about a broom, Vernon assumed that James was not only (gasp!) a “magical weirdo,” but that he was also on the dole.

Here, with just a little help from Sirius Black, things happened differently.  First, John did not have a chip on his shoulder.  He was actually trying to get Petunia and Lilly to reconcile, so he wasn’t going to start a war with James Potter if he could possibly help it.  Second, since he worked at the Embassy for both the United States and MaCUSA, he had access to the Wizard World equivalent of “Who’s Who in the UK.”  Third, he likes Muggle motorcycles, and understood that brooms, especially racing brooms were the Wizarding World equivalent.  So, John already knew that James was a “trust fund baby,” and not on the dole.  Second, his mention of the Silver Wraith II was made more in commiseration with James, saying how far he was already going for his Evans girl.  So, after “kvetching” to James that he’d bought his own wife the most expensive “showroom” car in the UK, and she still found fault with it, James bragged about buying himself a magical Ducati.  John was not happy with James, but instead of thinking “you silly wastrel,” he was more thinking “you selfish jerk!”  So, John made the quip about the “bang-zoom blessings.”  John grew up in the 1950s, when Jackie Gleason’s hit television series The Honeymooners was still first-run and “bang, Zoom!” was Ralph Kramden’s trademark phrase of displeasure towards his wife Alice.  Sirius, rightly sensing the tension, does his brother Prongs a solid by making his counter-quip, finally braking the ice. 

“Doctor Jules Montiner” is a real person, and would actually be a real-live analog to Fleamont Potter, on top of being a Chicago native.  The Jules Montiner company, most famous for their Stopette antiperspirant, also made Finesse shampoo.  Montiner sold his company to Helene Curtis in 1956.  Stopette was eventually discontinued, but the Finesse shampoo line is still being made.  Montiner’s company also sponsored the then very popular television game show What’s My Line, which John would have also watched as a teenager.

Finally, even in Riding the Lincoln Way, John is much better at lawfully selling other people’s stuff than he is his own.  So, every house or vehicle John has ever come in contact with is either still his, or held in trust for the kid who’s supposed to Inherit it; and all of it is being kept in perfect condition.  Tim owns a pair of totally rebuilt six-flats in Mokena, Saria owns a house in Morris, Pixie owns two houses in Will County, and so on – on top of Orchard Municipal Flight Services belonging to David and Aaron.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 4 notes.  Towards the end of Chapter 3, Rita Skeeter got her clock maintained by John’s sister-in-law Hannah.  In real life, if the sister-in-law of a protected diplomatic service employee cold-cocks a reporter at a public event such as a press conference, it’s a serious diplomatic incident.  It’s a serious diplomatic incident here, too.  John also had to register his and his children’s wands with MaCUSA, report their magical school enrollments, and pay both MaCUSA and USA import duties.  Finally, in my ‘fanon,’ wands made with cherry wood are dangerous enough beyond the danger any wand poses that MaCUSA actually regulates them strictly, as well as differently than other wands.  So, John takes everybody except for the three Weasleys to the MaCUSA side to take care of his other business, and talk to both the MaCUSA and USA Deputy Chiefs of Mission and report the serious diplomatic incident.  There are very few things in real life that can defuse a serious diplomatic incident without seeing you and your entire family declared “persona non gratia,” or PNGed and literally stuffed on the very next flight home; or worse yet see the person involved prosecuted by the host country.  One of those things is having the very reporter your sister in law assaulted get caught in the act of having evaded Embassy Security and spied upon classified national security conversations.  And guess what Rita did?  They are at the Embassy long enough that Skeeter’s capture in the middle of the Embassy has already made the front page of the evening Daily Prophet.

In the next section, some wizarding eleven-year-olds can quote Kipling in context of their own lives.  A “fanon” that I originally borrowed with some credit from a great fanfic author gets borrowed again here, but from a different perspective, and at a time closer to when it happened.  Arthur Weasley receives some unsolicited parenting advice, but ends up accepting it.  Ron Weasley still isn’t a time traveler here.

Aaron ends up getting a wand.  Unlike Charlie, he’s taking the “early wand” business seriously.

A grave is visited and a prayer is sung.

David and Aaron talk to each other more or less like the eleven-year-old and eight-year-old boys they currently are.

Cheers!

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 5 notes.  In Riding the Lincoln Way, “The Treasures” will first achieve fame in late September of 1982.  Here, they’ve achieved in May, and their second sellout concert is at the Barbican Center, and is also broadcast live on BBC One Television.

Next comes the romance.  In the “movie version” of this story, “Love Theme from The Untouchables” is now the “love theme” here.  Who will be Al Capone to David Dvorak’s Elliot Ness?  It won’t be Voldemort, but who?

Some things happen the same, but differently.

Spoiler

In Riding the Lincoln Way, David Dvorak is precociously sexually “adventurous.”  While at his core he is the same person, here he was raised by two loving if imperfect parents.  He was never raped, and thus didn’t need to go looking for “brain-bleach.”  He also met Saria Cook much earlier here, and thus they’ve both known each other for longer, and shared both triumphs and devastating tragedies here.  So, he will only be with Saria in this story.

Tim gets interested in “experimenting” with David here, but is afraid to ask.  Bill Weasley is in the same boat...

A certain Pink Toad makes an off-camera appearance, but her maledictions are foiled here.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 6 notes.  This chapter gets the “1982 Gang” from Little Whinging to King’s Cross, and then to Hogwarts.

The Marine First Sergeant mentioned was 1stSgt Donald Hamblen.  His story is here.  https://www.historynet.com/donald-hamblen-one-tough-marine-and-purple-heart-recipient/

The Navy Salvage Diver was BMCM Carl Brashear, the subject of the movie Men of Honor.

Tom Daley is an “original” original character for this story.  He might be important later, but I haven’t decided.  He will be a much more typical eleven year old boy than the main characters.

Joe and Max Stock are borrowed from Riding the Lincoln Way.  Their younger sister was a “casualty of creative license.”  Their younger brother Peter is a happy, healthy future wizard who will attend Hogwarts with Paul Dvorak.  Joe and Max started what they’re doing for slightly different reasons, but not enough changes happened in their lives to stop that from happening.

Chapter 7 will start with the sorting.  The pace will soon pickup very quickly, since I’m actually writing about Harry Potter.  He is still a very cute 25 month old toddler in this chapter, though.

Cheers!

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Quick notes for Chapters 7 and 8.

Emily Tyler is a canon character from Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery.  Yes, while I will not write in great detail about that story line, it will go on in the background.

Minerva McGonagall at this point in canon is happily married to Elphinstone Urquart, who doesn’t die until 1985.

I introduce the OC Athelstan the House Elf here to show the differences between UK and MaCUSA house elves.  He will continue to works as a Professor at Hogwarts for some time.

My portrayal of Severus Snape will be closer to movie than book canon.  Snape is a very complicated character, and not always nice.

Other than starting off with Victorian Flower Language, why would Snape ask the three “Stereotypical Snape Questions?”  Was he really asking First Years Seventh Year material?  Or, was he just testing the students on everything a First Year would have read had they even opened the book, including the forward to the textbook?  While not nice, it isn’t quite unreasonable, either.

If you actually try to study JKR’s ‘schedules,’ you’ll soon discover that Professor Snape could only cover all of his classes with a Time Turner.  In fact, I’d read another fanfiction years ago where Snape mentored Harry, and Harry took over as Potions Professor.  That Harry was gifted Snape’s Time Turner so he could keep up with his teaching.  A.D.’s increased interest in Potions was a ‘spur of the moment.’  Binns delinda est was foreshadowed quite well if not heavy-handedly.

Chapter 8 notes.

If you’re not the youngest sibling to go to school, or an only child, then you leave younger siblings behind when you go.  Harry has ‘issues’ if people are gone overnight and he can’t figure out why.  He’s also gotten used to crawling into bed with David when both were sleeping.  So, Aaron rightly expected to have ‘visitors.’

Not all, but many kids are apprehensive about their ‘first day of school,’ particularly if they’ve been raised exclusively by their family. Paul is no different here, nor is his new friend.  “Marty Benson” is a ‘fanon’ character who is typically in Ravenclaw and a few years ahead of Harry.  I brought him in here and gave him a backstory.  If I decide I don’t need him, he can always go “back” to Canada and that school in Massachusetts.

Here is where I introduce “the Cabal,” also known as “R.”  I have Peregrine as Jacob and Queenine Kowalski’s second son, and the only one of the family who didn’t move or return to the United States after Rappaport’s Law was repealed in 1965.  I’ve also named “Jacob’s Sibling” here.

Bill and Charlie Weasley will be involved in the Cursed Vaults and the Circle of Khanna, as they are in the game, along with Fred and George.  Here, Percy will also be involved, along with the Stock Brothers and all the Hogwarts-attending Dvoraks and Floyds.  Other Dvoraks might also become involved.  Since he forgot to wear his ‘plot armor’ in Chapter 2, any tasks Peter Pettegrew performed for R will either be done by others or not at all.

...And two deserving working-class boys receive full scholarships to one of the most prestigious K-12 schools in the UK, including daily transportation to and from the school.  With a slightly rough start, Paul and his new friends finally get down to starting Kindergarten.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

 

Chapter 9 (and a couple of other) notes.

First, I’ve deliberately “retconned” the “Fat Friar” and “what is a Ghost” questions away from JKR Canon.  In my humble and sadly moniless opinion, JKR’s “Ghost definition” is weak sauce or worse.  And, her “Fat Friar” origin story is frankly stupid.  While a Catholic Friar would almost certainly heal syphilis suffers (JKR said “pox, not smallpox, and “pox” was an alternative name for syphilis,) or any other disease they could heal, they would not pull a rabbit, or anything else out of a Communion Chalice.  It just isn’t done.  While I’m sure the Church itself had put “witches” and “warlocks” to death, that was done far more often by secular mobs and Protestants as compared to a group of Friars living in a Monastery.  And, while if put to death a magical Catholic Friar or Nun could cast the “JKR Weak Sauce Spell,” they would be far less likely than a magical lay person.  By their very vocation, they have little to no fear of death.  Their faith tells them where they’re going and what it’s like.  And it’s the fear of death, not the fear of suffering while they die that powers the JKR Weak Sauce Spell.  So, her version of the Fat Friar (originally a word play on “fat fryer” from the cafeteria kitchen) just doesn’t work.  My “fanon” has Ghosts as the actual souls of the haunting departed, Sir Nicholas’s agnostic understanding of his own situation not withstanding.  In the case of the Fat Friar, he failed to move On not from fear, but from repentance for not Witnessing the Gospel to his fellow Wizards and Witches, since after graduating Hogwarts and awakening his Faith, he never returned to the Wizarding World until after he died.  You’re free to disagree.  But remember that this is the same JKR who retconned a major character she created as a white English girl Black after nineteen years of that character existing white in canon just because she liked the very skilled and very likeable Black actress who portrayed the adult version of that character in the premier of her play in London.  JKR had already created multiple non-white major characters including Angelina Johnson Weasley, and George and Angelina’s kids Fred and Roxanne.  Had JKR wanted a non-white lead character before 2016, she’d have had that character, or reams of “editor’s notes” from both Bloomsbury and Scholastic telling her why she couldn’t.  More “weak sauce” from JKR.  I enjoy playing in her sand-box and I sincerely hope she continues to grow it and prosper while doing so.  I’ll also point out politely where I believe she could have done better.

Second, while I’m making no promises, this is probably the last chapter where I use any major amounts of “non-English portrayed directly” instead of saying what language the character(s) are speaking and writing it as English in italics.  Up to now, the blocks of non-English made more sense creatively portrayed exactly as if you were a fly on the wall listening in, to demonstrate that the character(s) were actually speaking the non-English language they were speaking.  You can “Google Translate” to find the English translation even easier than I “Google Translated” to write it.  But, from here on, I should have little to no need for this, so you will (at least mostly) receive the more reader-friendly italic English pretending to be Latin, Czech, French, and so on you’ve become used to elsewhere.

Professor Snape is only slightly outside of his lane visiting John and Pet Dvorak.  But however contentious his relationship was with Pet Dvorak when they were children, he does know her.  On that basis, he could potentially and reasonably be expected to set up a conference about his academic concerns about the stepson of someone he’d known for many years.  So it isn’t like “invited himself” to a Parent-Teacher conference without any reason at all.

On John’s request, Snape presents a slightly different viewpoint of the exploits of Jacob in the Cursed Vaults, along with supplying information John hasn’t been told yet.  Duncan Ashe will be important.  So will Myrtle Warren, and the relationship the two teen Ghosts have with each other.

David is mature for his age, and honest to a fault.  So, he says and means exactly what he said, especially since he’d not only had the time to think about the likelihood of Snape visiting, but did in fact expect Snape to visit.

I’ve portrayed Harry and Dudley both as being on the very high end of language skills for their ages.  But, some kids do learn to talk faster than others, especially if they are talked to and read to routinely and frequently without babbling b.s. “Baby Talk.”  I also explained it in the story, along with what happened next.

Yes, you can have a multi-lingual toddler.  And if you do, you can also have them have a multi-lingual meltdown if they’re angry, hurting, scared, or are for whatever other reason throwing a temper-tantrum.

I had originally planned to have Harry and his family actually visit Louisiana on their own when Harry was older.  But, I decided that since I’d already had a Shaman available, that I’d just have him take the trash out, and leave Louisiana Tourism for a different story, other than perhaps a quick “concert visit” for the band that Harry may or may not go on.  I also decided that for this story, that Harry won’t lose his Parseltongue, where I (will) have him lose it (eventually) in Third Time’s a Soul Bond.  Here, it’s easier to have Harry keep the snake talk, and easier to explain his keeping it, too.  Especially since Parseltongue isn’t nearly so scarce among the “good guys” in this story.

Dumbledore’s explanation is an answer to the fanfiction question “How could a ‘Good’ Dumbledore not do anything about Harry’s scar?  Why didn’t he tell Harry? and so on.”

I decided to put some more “light near-smut” in after the concert.  Could I have written “moar?”  Of course.  Can I write “moar?”  Perhaps.  if “reader demand” here suggests a demand for it, I can certainly write “moar” here, in the form of removing the ellipsis and replacing it with the 3-5 thousand words of creamy kinky almost-teen paramour smut.  My other two long stories here certainly don’t leave much to the imagination. 

In the one other place this story appears, I won’t get more explicit.  Based on what I’ve actually written so far, I could reduce the story rating at the other place to make the story more easily visible to more readers.  However, I’m not being as quick to update “over there” period, since their reader counters are broken, and they’re taking their sweet-assed time in fixing them.  Since they are in absolutely no hurry at all to tell me how many people over there are actually reading this story, I’m only in a slightly higher hurry to update or fix typographical errors over there.  I will do it eventually, since I do have some readers over there.  I have a better idea, or at least a better guess, of how many readers I have here.  Thank you to all of you who have read and recommended my story up to this point.

Cheers!

Edited December 5, 2023 by Wilde_Guess

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

I just updated Chapter 9.  I made minor corrections to prose and punctuation to improve the story flow.  I also updated the number of known “student Ghosts” to three, and named Simon Talmadge.  [No, it’s actually four with Willa Weholt.]  He [they] will also appear later in my story.

“Reader demand for ‘moar’” isn’t ‘holding Smut hostage for reviews’ per se.  If you request it in this thread, and it’s also obvious that you’ve actually read the story, that would be sufficient; no Archive Review required.  It might become “Chapter Nine and Three Quarters” if I write and post it here, since without the smut the chapter is already over 14,000 words.  While I like both writing and reading long chapters that don’t drag on, not everyone does.

Cheers!

Edited December 12, 2023 by Wilde_Guess
Corrected number of ghosts. See Ch. 10.

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 10 notes.

I’ve introduced the four expanded canon student ghosts.  Moaning Myrtle comes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.  Duncan Ashe comes from the smartphone video game Harry Potter:  Hogwarts Mystery.  Simon Talmadge and Willa Weholt come from the smartphone video game Harry Potter:  Magic Awakened.  In Hogwarts Mystery, which is the period Yankee’s Nephew is currently taking place in,  Duncan Ashe is a major NPC in the storyline.  In Magic Awakened, both Talmadge and Weholt are ‘one episode’ NPCs.  Since they were all present during Hogwarts Mystery and all seven original JKR Books, I decided to involve all four of them in both the (soon to be glossed over) Mystery arc and the more detailed “original JKR” arc.

Simon Talmadge was the first of the student ghosts to die, dying in “1825 or so”, which I pinned down to 1826.  The game didn’t give him a house, so I put him in Ravenclaw.  In game canon, he was a magic painting student, who liked the portraits more than real people.  He was the victim of a Gryffindor fifth year girl’s attempted bullying as a third year.  He was rescued by Slytherin fourth year Gwydion Idris.  In the game, Talmadge not only accepts Idris’s friendship, but develops a serious romantic crush on Idris, even while the two boys make other friends.  In the game, Talmadge dies under circumstances where only he knows the facts.  The story of his “accidental” death he relates is almost implausible, and the implication is that Talmadge finally made a romantic advance to Idris, was rebuffed, and deliberately killed himself by some means, perhaps actually doing what he claimed to have been doing when he “accidentally” was killed.

In Yankee’s Apprentice, I make a couple of changes.  First, I make Idris the Wizarding equivalent of real-life poet Lord Byron.  Second, I have Simon’s death as a genuine accident, after he and Idris have sex for the first (and only) time.  His death was so immediately after their assignation that Talmadge remains as a ghost first to prevent Idris killing himself in guilt, shame, and grief; and second to help Idris hide Talmadge’s dead and obviously just-finished-having-sex body so Idris doesn’t get arrested and put to death.  From then, up to the current time in the story, Talmadge was very unsociable.  But, this does change here.

Willa Weholt was the second of the student ghosts to die, dying in “pre-1908.”  I had her die in the spring of 1908.  In the game, she’s playing against Gryffindor for the Quidditch Cup.  She dove after the snitch in the driving rain on her personally modified Moontrimmer broom.  She was so focused on the Snitch that she didn’t realize she was approaching the ground until she crashed into the ground and died, having barely failed to catch the Snitch.

I expanded her backstory in two ways.  First, I made the 1907-1908 season just a little bit more dramatic.  After all, in order to be playing for the Quidditch Cup as Hufflepuff’s only Seeker, she had to have caught the Snitch against both Ravenclaw and Slytherin.  After she crashed and died, I had Gryffindor refuse to claim victory.  Instead, they deliberately shot forty-nine goals against themselves before one of the Hufflepuff beaters finally caught the Snitch.  Gryffindor and Hufflepuff shared both the Quidditch Cup and House Cup that year because of that game, and I had Hufflepuff start sitting next to Gryffindor instead of Slytherin that night, too.

Second, I didn’t have Willa haunt the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch for a long time.  Instead, despite being a ghost, she designed the charms work on the Silver Arrow Racing Broom, and later worked for Comet Trading Company as a broomstick designer until retiring in 1968.  By having her not become obscessed with catching the Snitch like in the game, I’ve made her a more interesting and useful character.  This also allowed her to grow and mature mentally and emotionally.  So, while she died at “almost sixteen,” Willa has decades of actual life experience outside of a boarding school, working in industry and supporting her family.

“Moaning” Myrtle Elizabeth Warren is practically unchanged from how JKR portrays her later in canon.  Here, we meet Myrtle under less trying circumstances for her.  David also tells her that he refuses to use her common nickname because it’s a double-entendre that is very insulting to give to a young lady.  She points out, though, that he never said that she couldn’t have earned the rude meaning in life.  Here, I also base her appearance on the movie rather than the book.  And while Myrtle is dressed unflatteringly, she is actually quite attractive, and she would be more obviously so with better care to her personal appearance.  She is also a bit of a perv, both in canon and here.

Duncan Ashe was the last of the four to die, having only died in 1980.  So far, he is more or less unchanged from canon.  He’s suspicious of David’s motives for trying to gain his friendship, and not entirely without reason.  But while David absolutely has ulterior motives for making and building a friendship with Duncan, David is also sincere in his desire for the friendship of all four student ghosts, which he’s well on the way to cementing by the end of the chapter.

We also almost meet two minor characters, both of whom are Simon Talmadge’s friends.  They are Kossa the house elf and Gossamer the portrait based on a knight the painter had never actually met.

 

 

[Wilde_Guess]

Hi, all.

Chapter 11 notes.

Hogsmeade and Hogsmeade weekends.  The Hogsmeade shops listed are all from the “expanded” canon, plus a few more I haven’t named.  The Hairdresser’s doesn’t have a canon name, so I gave it one.  “St. Hedwig’s Church” is my fanon, and an extension of having a Catholic Friar haunting Hogwarts.  I had to make up the Hogsmeade Weekend schedule and rules I described.  JKR, and even the extended canon don’t really go into the details, since they aren’t actually trying to run a magical boarding school.  In Half-Blood Prince, there is a war on, so having all students return to Hogwarts early would only make sense.  Otherwise, JKR is silent about older students receiving more privileges than younger ones.  In a school and school without either a war or terrorists running the school, the schedule I described would make the most sense, especially since the seventh years are all Wizarding Adults.  With one hairdresser in town and none at school, the way I described would make sense for getting the first and second year students visits to a barber or hair stylist.  And, even boys deliberately growing their hair long, and being allowed to, would still need to visit a barber or stylist every eight to twelve weeks or so.

In canon, the reader doesn’t see Madam Rosmerta hire live bands.  The reader also doesn’t see students out after dark.  A pub such as The Three Broomsticks in real life would hire a live band on the weekends, when there would be enough of a demand that both the Landlord and the band would make money.  Since David is not only a musician, but a very popular professional singer and musician, he is being allowed by Headmaster Dumbledore to have his “school band” play live at The Three Broomsticks, for a number or reasons.  Beyond letting David’s band stay out extra late on “performance nights,” Dumbledore is also allowing willing and paying younger students to watch at least half of David’s performance.  He’s also loaned David help in the form of the school house elves.  In turn, David had a separate lower cover charge to cover only one of his two sets, both of which are a fair amount longer than typical for a “bar band,” at least in the United States; so the third through fifth years could, if allowed to stay out just a bit later watch a full set without feeling cheated.  He also allowed working Hogwarts Professors to stay without paying a cover charge.  David appreciates that Dumbledore is making the “extra effort” for him, so he’s meeting Dumbledore half-way.

In real life, at least in the United States, the venue always pays the royalties for “cover” songs performed by the band or bands they hire.  Whether they get a cut of the cover or are paid a fixed and guaranteed fee to perform depends on both the band and the venue.

The teen ghosts by now are David’s friends, and were more than happy to be on stage with him, even to the point of overcoming their own nervousness at appearing on stage before a live audience.  In canon, Myrtle was openly flirting with Harry, and reveals herself to be a bit of a perv, especially for a young British teenage girl of the mid 1940s.  We only see her interact with Harry, because she only makes friends with Harry.  Here, Myrtle is friends with all five living boys, along with the three other teenage ghosts, so she’s more open.  Even Simon, the least outgoing of the four teenage ghosts, is coming out of his shell here.

The “talk” David shares with his friends riding back to Hogwarts is also based on “real life” for performers in a band.

“Testing anxiety” for the real life GCSEs, O Levels, and A Levels is also very real.  The problems with the use of “norm referencing” in the British tests are also very real.  Norm referencing was eliminated in the first couple of years of the GCSEs according to sources I’ve been able to find, but has come back, to the dismay of everyone involved except for the brain-dead soulless bureaucrats who brought it back.  What Paul described, while extreme, is also a real problem with norm referencing, since norm referencing declares in advance that fifteen percent of the tested students will fail their tests no matter how well they actually performed, and that some students will also pass no matter what, even if the “best” student only got their names and identification numbers correct.

The “child interactions” in the last section are indicating that the kids are learning and growing “off-camera.”  I also used “English in italics pretending to be a non-English language” here.

Since I’m not actually writing a Hogwarts Mystery fanfiction, the next several chapters will gloss over all but the high points of Hogwarts Mystery, while also showing the older Weasleys, Dvoraks, and so on as they grow up to 1991.  This will still take more than just one or two chapters though, even with the longer chapters I tend to write.

Cheers!