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I’m in the middle of writing something and I noticed that I have been very unstructured in how I refer to a particular character.

They’re the mayor of a town and in canon we know their full name. But when I write about them I often use just a piece of their name. For instance:

“Mayor John Smith says”

“Mayor Smith declares”

“Mayor John suggests”

“says John Smith”

Part of me worries that while I have established their full name within the context, if I’m constantly switching like that, I might confuse the audience.

How do you go about figuring out this problem? Or do you not worry about it?
 

  • 9 months later...
Posted
On 7/28/2023 at 11:19 PM, Deadman said:

I’m in the middle of writing something and I noticed that I have been very unstructured in how I refer to a particular character.
Part of me worries that while I have established their full name within the context, if I’m constantly switching like that, I might confuse the audience.
How do you go about figuring out this problem? Or do you not worry about it?

Apologies for not noticing this sooner.

I’d suggest keeping it consistent and in context.  If you’ve got a (real) friend of the mayor, they go fishing, might be like…

> “That’s a beauty.” John pointed at the large striped bass beneath the water.

Or in the speech, especially if it’s multiparagraph, you might not need to overly annotate either.

> Mayor John Smith spoke.
» I’m not a man prone to superstition, therefore, we’ll go ahead with paving over the Indian burial grounds for a Walmart.
» This strikes way for progress!

Though, suppose in slander, could be “The Mayor’s office has gone to the John” :)
 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Hi, Deadman and all.

On 7/28/2023 at 6:19 PM, Deadman said:


I’m in the middle of writing something and I noticed that I have been very unstructured in how I refer to a particular character.

They’re the mayor of a town and in canon we know their full name. But when I write about them I often use just a piece of their name. For instance:

“Mayor John Smith says”

“Mayor Smith declares”

“Mayor John suggests”

“says John Smith”

Part of me worries that while I have established their full name within the context, if I’m constantly switching like that, I might confuse the audience.

How do you go about figuring out this problem? Or do you not worry about it?
 

Generally, you should use the name of a character to clarify identities where they might otherwise be confused.  Remember, unlike a [visual production of any kind,] your reader only has your writing to help them picture the scene.

As for how you address the character’s identity “outside of quotation marks,” you should generally stick to a single unambiguous name for the character in third-person perfect or unidentified third-person imperfect.  In identified third person imperfect or first person, your labeling of a particular character is that supplied by your “viewpoint” character.  As a rule, you must be consistent in third-person perfect, and you should be consistent in other tenses.  However, deliberate changes can indicate changes in opinion by the viewpoint character or observer.

Inside of quotation marks, the character themselves will govern how the particular character is identified or addressed.

Cheers!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
On 5/26/2024 at 10:52 AM, Wilde_Guess said:

Hi, Deadman and all.

Generally, you should use the name of a character to clarify identities where they might otherwise be confused.  Remember, unlike a [visual production of any kind,] your reader only has your writing to help them picture the scene.

As for how you address the character’s identity “outside of quotation marks,” you should generally stick to a single unambiguous name for the character in third-person perfect or unidentified third-person imperfect.  In identified third person imperfect or first person, your labeling of a particular character is that supplied by your “viewpoint” character.  As a rule, you must be consistent in third-person perfect, and you should be consistent in other tenses.  However, deliberate changes can indicate changes in opinion by the viewpoint character or observer.

Inside of quotation marks, the character themselves will govern how the particular character is identified or addressed.

Cheers!

I generally try to do this although not with so many official sounding words or logical thought processes.

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