Review responses for "Twist My Arm" [The Loud House]

[GeorgeGlass]

Here, I’ll post responses to any reviews that “Twist My Arm” may garner.

[GeorgeGlass]

From ConanEdogawa on March 11, 2020

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I love how this would happen in the show keep it up I can't wait for the 2nd chapter

Thanks! I got the idea for this story some time after watching the episode in which Lori forces Lincoln to go on a double date with her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne. I figured that Lori’s psychotic behavior in that episode had a lot of potential for storytelling exploitation.

[GeorgeGlass]

From Fairy-Slayer on March 11, 2020

 

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(Chapter 1)

Beware Spoilers OF DOOM!

I’m sorry, but Fairy Slayer and the Spoilers of Doom was simply an inferior film to Betas of the Lost Fic. Fortunately, the franchise got good again with Fairy Slayer and the Lolis Get Laid.

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A very nice start and great set-up for some Loud fun. It doesn't surprise me that Lori would be willing to use Lincoln (and Ronnie Anne) to get what she wants out of Bobby. Nice to see Lincoln being brave with the girl who won't hesitate to deck him – and would have good reason – which makes me think that Lori's threats aren't what truly convinced him to play along.

His reasons are multifactorial, for sure.

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Of course he could have just told Ronnie Anne about Lori's plan in advance to they could fake it or go watch the movie from elsewhere, but I have a feeling that doing so could have actually ended very badly for him. (Heh, still could in a few ways.)

Lincoln didn’t have much opportunity to tell Ronnie Anne anything without risking Lori overhearing. Safer to just go with it.

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Even though Ronnie Anne is very receptive so far, I'm sure Lincoln's next achievement will require more skill and delicacy if he's going to… pull it off. 

Who invited Luan on this date?

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Thanks for the great start.

Thanks for the review!

[GeorgeGlass]

From RandomReviewer on March 12, 2020

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*cue the Scott Bakula "Oh boy!" XD

No, no, I already ripped that off in “Multiversity.”

Seriously, hope the rest of the story lives up to your expectations.

[king]

This has been awesome and I can't wait to see what's next ( no rush)

[GeorgeGlass]

7 hours ago, king said:

This has been awesome and I can't wait to see what's next ( no rush)

Thanks! I expect to be posting chapters every 1-2 weeks, so you won’t have too long to wait.

[GeorgeGlass]

From ConanEdogawa on March 17, 2020

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Now Lori needs to tell Lincoln to get to third base

No spoilers!

[GeorgeGlass]

From DoctorYnot on March 17, 2020

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This is a really fun story concept launched with a great first chapter! 

Thank you!

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This time, I'll be writing down my thoughts on the fic as I read it, so it's kind of in chronological order to what you wrote. I hope you can forgive the messy format of the review, but apart from being easier to get a handle on my thoughts this way, I think it provides a commentary that is keyed into specific scenes and expounds on tangible aspects of a fic instead of being a more broad overview of the whole chapter taken together. I think this style can be useful to a writer in its own way, you know? Like I said, I can only hope you don't mind too much! Here we go.

I don’t mind. That’s often how I write reviews. Although I must say, mine aren’t usually nearly as detailed as this one.

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I have to mention that, as always, you have a masterful touch at making your fics feel just like the show; what's always been present in your work but that I noticed first this time is how it comes down to even how you capture the rhythm of the way particular characters speak. It seems like a small thing but your grasp of the Louds' personalities combined with the terrific timing you have in knowing when to, for instance, italicize just the right word to emphasize something they happen to feel right then really makes your dialogue so distinct and brings the characters' speech to life so vividly; Lola complaining about having to see Lincoln in his undies (like she doesn't love it, hah!) read so crisp and perfect I could hear it in my head.

Thank you! To me, authenticity is paramount, because IMO, there’s no point in writing a fanfic if it doesn’t resemble and grow from the source material. 

A lot of people think that fanfic is easier to write than original stories because the characters and their world have been created for you; you’re just taking them out of the box and playing with them. But that’s also what makes it challenging, because you have to play with what you’re given. If you change the characters or their world (at least without some internally logical reason that you explain in the story), then you’re not really writing a fanfic anymore.

Of course, writing smut adds a whole layer of challenge -- and therefore fun -- because you have to create circumstances in which the characters would plausibly do the things you want them to do. This is easy in fandoms where there’s magic or technology that can change people’s behavior; in half of my Phineas and Ferb stories (okay, probably more than half), sexy times ensue because of an Inator or one of the boys’ inventions. Lisa’s mad science can be used to the same effect, of course, but I’m trying not to over-rely on that as a plot device.

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Another thing I definitely have to compliment you on is the humor as well. So much feels like something that could have come right out of an episode, like Leni getting up from her own bed when Lori orders her noisy siblings out of her room. That's classic Leni. I'm generally not too big a fan of comedy in erotic fics since I've always felt that amusement and arousal are two opposed mental states, and you can't feed one without diminishing the other. Of course, the laughter here is brief and punchy enough instead of dwelling on it too long that it doesn't become cloying or distracting, and it's placed appropriately before and after the sexy stuff instead of in the middle of it. But apart from all that, I've realized that, beyond just being funny, the way you build your fics serves another purpose as well. With the comedy being so right and the feel of the setting so damn familiar, I've noticed that it makes the reader, subconsciously, believe the world you're portraying is the world of the Loud House he knows and loves, so when the cast starts deviating from the show's characterization just enough to start, let's say...kissing their brother...you've already created enough immersion that the reader can accept it and not be jolted or have his suspension of disbelief broken. 

No one has ever put it quite that way, but that is exactly what I’m going for. I don’t want readers to feel like they’re reading smut with some familiar names tacked onto it; I want them to feel like they’re reading about the characters they know. And because humor is integral to every Loud House episode, I feel like it’s not a Loud House story if it doesn’t contain a solid dose of comedy. 

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It definitely takes a deft hand and a hell of a creative mind to engineer a tale this way, but you hit the right notes every single time. That consistent standard of excellence has always amazed me. I consider immersion, which necessarily springs from good characterization, to be the most important thing in fanfiction. After all, the characters still feeling like themselves but flung into new situations we haven't seen on the show is the biggest part of the charm of fanfiction, isn't it? 

Hell to the yes!

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Anyway, I know how hard it is, so your easy grace in that department is something I find tremendously impressive. 

Thank you.

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But, ahem, I've really digressed here. Let me get back to talking about THIS story.

>“Besides, that girl’s had a thing for you since day one. You don’t shove a sloppy joe down a guy’s pants because you like him as a friend.”

Heh, such a cute line.

 

That’s a reference to “Heavy Meddle,” in which Ronnie Anne starts picking on Lincoln (off screen) and Lori opines that her shoving a sandwich down Lincoln’s pants is a classic show of romantic interest.

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>“Even if that’s true, since then we’ve really been more like-”

I'll be frank, I think maybe a stutter would have been appropriate here at that 'even'. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne always get real flustered when people accuse them of being boyfriend and girlfriend, probably because they know it's true, and Lincoln's the nervous type to begin with (no doubt from those ten wild sisters of his keeping him on edge all his life.) I hope you'll pardon me bringing up something so subjective. Ordinarily this wouldn't be a comment I'd make since it's not a real flaw and more of my own personal feelings about a line, but since I'm doing a bit of a deep dive anyway, I figured I might as well mention it.

 

Fair enough, but I feel that with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne being physically separated these days, they really have fallen into each other’s friend zones. But maybe they’re not that far outside the romance zone.

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Honestly, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's relationship is so incredibly cute! The hand-holding! Love how Ronnie Anne is baffled at Lincoln suddenly being so forward but just happily goes with it. Not boyfriend and girlfriend my foot.

Their romance, or at least romantic interest, seems like something easily rekindled.

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Whew! Lori really went from 0 to 60! I think the manic edge she has is really truthful to the character and I can definitely dig it, but I have to admit that I would have liked a slower bit of build up for it, like a scene where Lincoln notices out of the corner of his eye how Lori is trying to escalate her displays of affection and Bobby is hesitating and begging off, and the frustrated glint in her eyes and change in bodylanguage as she becomes more miffed. 

Noted. Keeping this in mind for the next chapter.

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On the other hand, that could have detracted from the cute, sweet scene of Lincoln and Ronnie holding hands...Hmm. It's not easy, I suppose. That said, she did make me laugh. 'You are TOTALLY comfortable with it!' Lori's pretty cute herself, if crazy. She's always been one of my favorite characters and you do a great job with her, just like you do with the others. I think it's an important aspect of her that she's insecure deep down under her tough girl/valley girl act from not really becoming attractive until late into her teens, the awkward puberty she had and all, and when her mania comes out it seems obvious to me it's from that, and also being the oldest and having to be almost like another mom to a lot of her younger siblings. She's always had a lot on her plate. It's really easy for me to forgive her bossy, unreasonable spells from that and just enjoy it for how adorable she is.

One thing I like about The Loud House is that although the sisters started out as stereotypes, most of them have grown into three-dimensional characters. There’s a lot to Lori, and we’ll get into some of it later in the story.

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Big laugh at 'That's a risk I'm willing to take.' Wonderful line, delivered with great timing. God, she's such a bitch. I love her though, plus it always makes me smile to see a cute, giving kid like Lincoln get put through the wringer by his forceful, hormonal sisters. You know what I mean. 'Making decisions according to which girl I'm more scared of' is another great line; what a perfect summation of the cute white-haired boy's life! Well if he doesn't like it then he shouldn't be so adorable!

Yeah, you get the idea that this isn’t the first time Lincoln has had that thought.

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Another thing I enjoyed was how I found myself getting drawn into the setting by all the little things about it, particularly the silly 'gourmet' popcorn. I have no idea if that's an actual thing or not but it had the sting of truth for me, there's so many food truck-style places trying to fancy up simple food that doesn't need it; I myself have had 'gourmet french fries' where it's just french fries with parmesan and truffle oil on top of it and this reminded me of that, so it pulled me into the world just that little bit more. I know it's a really small thing, but the devil is in the details, isn't it? It's lots of small things like that that, taken together, end up elevating a fic. Anyway, I appreciated it the veracity of the whole environment. Definitely helps the mood.

Food trucks are very popular where I live, and a lot of them are selling either fusion cuisine (kimchi enchiladas are surprisingly good, FYI) or upscale versions of street food. And because fusion restaurants seem to be popular in Royal Woods -- if Jean-Juan’s French-Mex Buffet and that Italian/Chinese place are anything to go by -- I figured I’d use that. Oh, and I liked cinnamon sugar on my popcorn when I was a kid.

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Quite enjoyed the feeling of doom and desperation as the popcorn levels keep getting lower, the thing about how each one disappearing brought him closer to the fateful moment was a good flourish for that. Lincoln's so adorable. I did feel it could have been longer though, like that Willy Wonka line: "The tension is unbearable. I hope it lasts."

I’m kind of the anti-Dickens, because my default is to sacrifice descriptive detail in the name of moving the plot along. Sometimes that works in my favor, sometimes not so much.

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Heh, 'her options for striking him.' A good example of the way the boy's calculating mind works, it's already racing to manage this situation and protect himself as best he can.

The inner monologue he has as RA jumps him is lovely. Feels super true to the character and who Lincoln is: self-conciousness, disbelief, apprehension, joy...Great scene. Very vivid.

 

Lincoln only gets so much dialogue in this story, so monologue seems essential to showing what’s going on in his head. And pants.

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It's a bummer that Lincoln is so busy, that cuts down on the interactions he could have with RA and shortens the fic, but at the same time I see the narrative necessity in keeping Lincoln and Ronnie Anne apart so that they can't ever discuss what their actual relationship is and thus maintain that great feeling of a panicky, flustered Lincoln getting pushed far past where he's comfortable by his bossy older sister, with no idea how his 'friend who is a girl' wink wink is going to respond to these advances which she has no idea are being coerced (which could lead to an equally entertaining outcome if she ever discovers it as the tale unfolds) which you have managed so far. I understand that's the heart of the story and the engine that's creating a lot of the amusement and fun. 

Yeah, allowing no one-on-one communication between them -- at least for now -- seemed essential to the story. 

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I guess it's just my own greed, I can't help but want to read more and more Loud House stuff from you, I just love every second I get to inhabit in the worlds you create. Feels like a vacation of the mind and the soul to get to visit your version Royal Woods and hang out with your vision of the Loud family. I adore these characters, and you have such an amazing understanding of them and so much skill behind your pen a lot of time it feels like an actual sexy episode that just didn't get to air. I can't think of much higher praise than that when, as an erotic writer, you have to go so far out of the realm of what the show usually handles. It's a testament to your ability.

Thank you!

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What a great stinger to end things on! I'm seriously looking forward to the next update. This story has a terrific opening, is underpinned by a very fun idea, features a cast which feels true to who they are and a world that feels authentic to the show...Twist My Arm is a fic firing on all its cylinders with an author at the top of his game.

Thank you again.

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However, while I did enjoy my time with this fic a lot, there is one thing that does trouble me a bit about it. I couldn't help but also wish you'd slow it down sometimes, too. The narrative, I mean. The pace. Just a bit. It just feels so brisk right now, sometimes I feel like I don't get to enjoy the situations you've created as much as I could since the plot advances so steadily. But I think the idea seed you have is really strong, and it has enough bones that you can ease the pace on certain scenes and really let the characters feel their feelings: the hesitation before Lincoln acts, the joy when Ronnie Anne reciproctates, maybe even some more Lori and Bobby reacting to what's going on behind them or Lincoln's pondering of these events at home...I think we'd all enjoy that stuff. Plus, to me, believably creating a scenario and mood where Lincoln has to get romantic with Ronnie Anne or face being clobbered by his sister is 'the hard part' of writing this, and actually executing the situation once you've arranged so it can happen the fun part. I feel like, in maintaining the pace you are, you're not having as much fun as you could have from all the hard work building things up in the first place. Maybe it's just my own misunderstanding of things, but that's what I think at least.

You know, for me, the setup has really become the most fun part to write. I’ve written so many sex scenes now that it has become a struggle to keep each new one from being a copy of the previous eight. So I’ve become more fond of getting the characters into the sexy situations than I am of writing those situations themselves. 

That said, I’m trying not to skimp on “the good stuff,” either. I added some more details to chapter 2 after the first draft seemed to end too quickly.

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That's really the only thing that bugged me. Apart from that, I think this is a terrific opening chapter which left me super eager for more. Honestly, it's such a delight to get to read your fics again. I didn't have the facility to do it for a while and getting to now is a true joy. They're still the same beautiful sojourns into the Loud world I remembered them to be, and I can't tell you how grateful I am I get to enjoy them. I'm not sure I've mentioned it before, but it's the way I felt then and what I feel even more now: when you see the name GeorgeGlass next to a story, you can always be assured what you get is going to be great. Thank you so much for sharing your tales with us, Mr. Glass. I can only hope there'll still be many more to come.

Oh, yes indeed!

[GeorgeGlass]

From RandomReviewer on March 17, 2020

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God damn it- I have to follow up one of DocYNot's reviews? That's like trying to follow Elvis! 

Don’t worry, Elvis has left the building.

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Ok well, chapter two was like, good and stuff. Like, I'm looking forward to chapter three alot. There, I tried

Like, thanks, and stuff. Totally.

[GeorgeGlass]

From Fairy-Slayer on March 19, 2020

 

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(Chapter 2 – Beware Spoilers!)

Everything is progressing nicely, though I'm starting to think that someone has ulterior motives – not that anyone has to for this to be so fun and sexy, but over-thinking stuff is kind-of my thing.

 

Indeed. One of these days, I'll write something that actually justifies over-thought.

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I like that Lincoln realized Clyde would be less than useless in his predicament, plus he'd probably create more complications beyond Lori & Bobby. 

It has occurred to me that I'm always finding ways to sideline Clyde instead of actually involving him in the story. But I do have an idea for a Clyde-centric story that may well join the List of 20 soon.

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Even better was when Lincoln was getting cringey when Lori kept saying "boobs," though I laughed even harder when he got more scared that Lori might demonstrate for him than of what Ronnie Anne may do. 

I'm so glad those bits worked for you. 

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(Then again, when they got back to Vanzilla then she'd already be satisfied and Ronnie Anne would just think Lincoln was terrified by the movie.) Of course, after they did the first double-date there's really no reason that the kids have to come on every single one, but what fun would that be?

It was Bobby's idea that the four of them go to this movie series, and Lori of course didn't want to tell him no.

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Great action though, especially as his self-doubt heightened Ronnie Anne's passion and neediness for him. Also, good thing he didn't have salt stuck to his fingers tonight or the poor girl wood be very sore. (Or course if he only had butter on his then he may have had the chance to lick it off, since that's only polite.) 

I love food and sex, but not at the same time. :\

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Nice that Lincoln the explorer made it to the mountaintops on his first try, and the mountain range loved the way he handled the little rocks at the top. Let's hope Lori didn't notice and find herself impressed by what a quick learner he was: she would probably ask Lincoln to demonstrate for Bobby (or worse, on Bobby). At that point Lincoln would just quickly end it all by getting under Ronnie Anne's top again and… “Oh, Ronnie Anne…” Lincoln breathed. "I've never been so happy that Lori forced me to do something."

'kay.

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Noticing Royal Woods' penchant for fusion cuisine was fun too, which should make for more interesting combinations as time goes one. (But nothing with parsley in it, right? ) Little pokes at that kind of thing adds to the world's flavor. 

I love fusion cuisine, myself, so coming up with new combinations is fun for me.

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Thanks for another great installment of Lincoln being forced into manhood by his sister… uhm, or something like that.

Yup, something like that.

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P.S. Kudos to DoctorYnot's keen observations. However now I'm starting to think that my writing is like knowing how to drive okay despite never having learned the rules of the road properly. (Over-used ref. omitted. )

Hmmm, in what sense?

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P.P.S. I wonder if Lori's real endgame could be related to a certain comic: http://tlb.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=24077

Nope. Never saw that one before I clicked on your link.

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P.P.P.S. Never stop saying boobs!

This I swear!

[FairySlayer]

On 3/20/2020 at 6:28 PM, GeorgeGlass said:

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P.S. Kudos to DoctorYnot's keen observations. However now I'm starting to think that my writing is like knowing how to drive okay despite never having learned the rules of the road properly. (Over-used ref. omitted. )

Hmmm, in what sense?

It feels like I can feel my way around writing a story, but I don't know the names or proper applications of different aspects of Storytelling philosophy. Sure, I've heard of "Hero's Journey," "Man vs. ___" and all that, but there are so many things about pacing, structure, point of view, etc. that I can't name and can only clumsily feel my way around. Sure, it seems to work to a point, but when it comes time to deconstruct something so that I can use it more effectively, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

Kind of like life in general I suppose. No big

Boobs!

[GeorgeGlass]

1 hour ago, FairySlayer said:

It feels like I can feel my way around writing a story, but I don't know the names or proper applications of different aspects of Storytelling philosophy. Sure, I've heard of "Hero's Journey," "Man vs. ___" and all that, but there are so many things about pacing, structure, point of view, etc. that I can't name and can only clumsily feel my way around. Sure, it seems to work to a point, but when it comes time to deconstruct something so that I can use it more effectively, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

Well, I’m certainly no expert in that sort of thing. I tend to follow the philosophy of a novel editor whose YouTube video I watched: Think of all the scenes you want to include in the story, then find a way to string them together. Joseph Campbell I ain’t.

Oh, and BOOBS!

[Guest Star Wars player 1]

Hi, it’s me, I just wanted to say hi and ask how are you doing. I also wanted to let you know that I’ve read chapter 2 of ‘Twist my Arm’ and the final chapter of ‘Make it all better’ and I really enjoyed them, I thought that chapter 2 of ‘Twist My Arm’ was really good and the final chapter of ‘Make it all better’ was a great conclusion to this story  Anyway, I have a few questions if you don’t mind, 1. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘For The Price of One’ ? Because I really loved chapter 3 and I can’t wait to see what Ramon means by ‘taking it as far as I can’  2. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘ Wishful’ ? I wonder what will happen next with Jace and his servants  let me know when you have the time, anyway, I hope you’re doing well, good luck with your stories, and hope to hear from you again soon, bye and have a good night  

[GeorgeGlass]

Hey, SWP1.

1. Chapter 4 of “For the Price of One” is coming right along and is probably the next thing I’ll post.
2. I’ve gotten a good start on chapter 6 of "Wishful,” but it’s going to be a while. A lot happens in that chapter.

[Guest Star Wars player 1]

Okay, thanks for answering my questions and have a nice day  

[Sithlordshades]

On 3/21/2020 at 9:30 PM, GeorgeGlass said:

Well, I’m certainly no expert in that sort of thing. I tend to follow the philosophy of a novel editor whose YouTube video I watched: Think of all the scenes you want to include in the story, then find a way to string them together. Joseph Campbell I ain’t.

Oh, and BOOBS!

That sounds very much like Jim Butcher's method

[GeorgeGlass]

From ConanEdogawa on April 09, 2020

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I'm betting Lori will tell Lincoln that he needs to get Ronnie Anne pregnant so Bobby will get Lori pregnant

Interesting thought, but Lori still wants to go to college.

[GeorgeGlass]

From RandomReviewer on April 10, 2020

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Lol I can't wait to see how frenzied Lori gets for the finale.

Oh, she’s gonna get cray-cray. But maybe not for the reason you think...

[GeorgeGlass]

From Fairy-Slayer on April 11, 2020

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(Chapter 3)

There's an overall cuteness to the fact that Lincoln is enjoying being pushed into getting down 'n dirty with Ronnie Anne yet is thinking more about pleasing her than actually getting off himself. (Not that it won't make great fap material for him, I'm sure.) 

 

Lincoln's understanding of third base involves only the girl's genitalia. It never even crossed his mind that Ronnie Anne might want to play with his, too. That was a rather pleasant surprise for him.

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To me it seems that he's not being careful only to avoid getting pounded (the wrong kind, that is.) Unfortunately that also hints that he doesn't feel the full emotional connection yet (as in he likes her but doesn't really like like her thing), which is pretty in-character still. Good thing he's a people-pleaser at heart, for better or for worse.

Indeed, his feelings for Ronnie Anne are complex. But yeah.

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Lori's pre-game planning was a nice change of pace too, and Lincoln's in-the-moment fearful images were a nice way to subvert her usual behavior and give him a good sales pitch to keep him in the game. Then her more-final statement made it seem like a great sales pitch.

Even Lori understands that you can't be all stick and no carrot when it comes to motivating someone.

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I love that Ronnie Anne took some initiative this time, whether it was sensing his goal or – better yet – her own lustful desires boiling up. I'm surprised he got so far into it, literally, but his balance of coming up with strategies and his own horniness seems to have done a great job.

They're following their bliss.

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…but not as good as Ronnie Anne's brother. (Wait, that sounds wrong!) Adding a nice spice of challenge to the tale, which I'm tempted to somehow something fusion cooking metaphor… It kicks the story into a new level instead of just getting to the next base.

Hmm...

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The problem with time flying when they're just starting to have fun also seems like something to be dealt with, though perhaps Lori is also mulling that one over. (Too bad the drive in doesn't play longer movies.) 

I get the idea that psychotronic-type movies tend to be short because they were made on low budgets. (Plan 9 from Outer Space was only 79 minutes long.)

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Still, I have no doubt that he'll make grand efforts towards his new challenge…and probably screw it up somehow along the way. No matter what comes next, I am sure it will continue to be both great fun and deliciously sexy. Thanks.

Thank YOU!

[king]

Finally chapter for was a awesome and sweet chapter. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne where adorable together in this chapter.

[GeorgeGlass]

8 hours ago, king said:

Finally chapter for was a awesome and sweet chapter. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne where adorable together in this chapter.

Thanks! And this was not the final chapter; there’s one more to come.

[Guest Star Wars player 1]

Hi, it’s me, I just wanted to say hi and ask how you are doing. I also wanted to let you know that I’ve read chapter 4 of ‘Twist my Arm’ and I really loved it  I liked how Lincoln finally had sex with Ronnie Anne and I heard in one of your previous comments that the next chapter is the final chapter, I can’t wait to see what happens next, so far this story has been a very nice and hot story, other than the fact that Lori threatens Lincoln from time to time which gets on my nerve, but other than that, this story is really great  I also heard about that writer who passed away due to the coronavirus and I made a prayer that she was resting peacefully in heaven, I’m sure she’s writing many more stories up there  I also wanted to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind, 1. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘For the Price of One’? I am really excited to see what happens with Ramon and Maya since Serena told her to do whatever he says, I was left anticipating what could happen with that  2. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘Wishful’ I can’t wait to see what happens with Jace next  Anyway, let me know when you have the time, good luck with your stories and hope to hear from you again soon, bye and have a nice day  

[GeorgeGlass]

From Fairy-Slayer on May 16, 2020

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(4)

First off, the chapter titles add a nice extra to all the fun.

 

It's funny: While I find coming up with story titles difficult, I love writing chapter titles.

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Good of Lincoln to be ready for Lori's weekly harassment, yet fun how it's still so difficult for him until Ronnie Anne stepped up to alleviate his fears. It was definitely better that he didn't have to initiate his first time gripped with fear – so much better to be gripped by Ronnie Anne's exploring hand. 

Indeed.

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It was also interesting that Lori hadn't gone all the way with Bobby yet, or that she told Lincoln, unless she was fibbing. I still think there's an ulterior motive in there somewhere.

My thinking is that Lori and Bobby had planned to lose their virginity to each other some time ago, but that their plans were derailed by the Santiagos' sudden move to the city. Besides, they're only 17; it's not unrealistic that they wouldn't have had sex yet. As for telling Lincoln, Lori doesn't care how much disclosure is necessary as long as she gets her special night with her Boo-Boo Bear.

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I think you were right to end with Lori's smug smile instead of too many details about cleaning up and what they did with the condoms. (I'm sure the mostly empty popcorn boxes and hotdog wrappers at the drive-in are full of them every week.) 

Yeah, I felt like another "Oh, shit, the movie's over and everyone's leaving" ending was unnecessary. Nor did I want to go the route of some rent-a-cop shining a flashlight into the van and busting them.

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Now I just feel bad for Lincoln because he's finally "tasted life" but that treat will be going back to the city soon. Even though Lori will be feeling some of the same, she owes him at least some sympathy for raking his young hormones & emotions over the coals. (Or maybe I'm just reading way too much into it.)

We'll deal with all of that a bit later on.

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Whatever is to come (and hopefully come some more) I'm sure it'll be fun. Thanks again.

Thank you!

[GeorgeGlass]

20 hours ago, Guest Star Wars player 1 said:

Hi, it’s me, I just wanted to say hi and ask how you are doing. I also wanted to let you know that I’ve read chapter 4 of ‘Twist my Arm’ and I really loved it  I liked how Lincoln finally had sex with Ronnie Anne and I heard in one of your previous comments that the next chapter is the final chapter, I can’t wait to see what happens next, so far this story has been a very nice and hot story, other than the fact that Lori threatens Lincoln from time to time which gets on my nerve, but other than that, this story is really great  I also heard about that writer who passed away due to the coronavirus and I made a prayer that she was resting peacefully in heaven, I’m sure she’s writing many more stories up there  I also wanted to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind, 1. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘For the Price of One’? I am really excited to see what happens with Ramon and Maya since Serena told her to do whatever he says, I was left anticipating what could happen with that  2. How are you doing with the next chapter of ‘Wishful’ I can’t wait to see what happens with Jace next  Anyway, let me know when you have the time, good luck with your stories and hope to hear from you again soon, bye and have a nice day  

Hey there. So glad you liked that chapter, and I think you might like the next one even better. 

As to your questions:

1. Chapter 6 of “For the Price of One” is coming right along. I’d say it’ll be ready in a week, definitely in two weeks.
2. That chapter is also coming right along, but there’s plenty left to do. It’s got two big sex scenes, plus a major plot-related scene in the middle, so it could end up being the longest chapter yet. 

[Guest Star Wars player 1]

Hi, it’s me, I just wanted to say hi and thank you for replying and answering my questions