Review responses for "P. F. A. S. (Post-Fusion Attachment Syndrome)" [Steven Universe]

[GeorgeGlass]

Here, I’ll post responses to any reviews of “P. F. A. S. (Post-Fusion Attachment Syndrome).”

Edited July 14, 2017 by GeorgeGlass

[Guest neo4812]

this was a fantastic story! love the idea, really cute and the ending was funny. kinda wish garnet didn't wipe there memory though

[GeorgeGlass]

1 hour ago, Guest neo4812 said:

this was a fantastic story! love the idea, really cute and the ending was funny. kinda wish garnet didn't wipe there memory though

Thank you! And thanks for leaving a review in the archive, too.

Glad you liked the story. Cute and funny were definitely things I was trying for.

The memory-wipe was necessary to make the story compatible with canon, given that the story is set 3 seasons ago. But I’m glad that didn’t ruin it for you.

[G3ae]

Not bad, not bad at all. Usually, I'm not much of a fan of Steven Universe, but this one is pretty good.

Now, I wonder if I might ask how you liked the story I sent you or if you thought Johnny Test worth a look? Personally, as I said before, I thought you'd like it and possibly find it better material than Milo Murphy.

[GeorgeGlass]

On 7/16/2017 at 1:10 PM, G3ae said:

Not bad, not bad at all. Usually, I'm not much of a fan of Steven Universe, but this one is pretty good.

Well, I’m pleased that you read it and liked it somewhat even though it’s not your favorite fandom. Thanks!

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Now, I wonder if I might ask how you liked the story I sent you or if you thought Johnny Test worth a look? Personally, as I said before, I thought you'd like it and possibly find it better material than Milo Murphy.

I watched an episode (or two, depending on how you slice it), and it didn’t grab me. I might try another one or two before I pass final judgment.

That said, I have found a new ‘toon that I like: Mighty Magiswords. The artwork isn’t awesome, and the pace is a bit frenetic, but the rapid-fire dialogue is often witty. I’m working on a fic for it now.

I’m also incubating an idea for a Milo Murphy fic. It involves a mysterious villain from the future who, for reasons unknown, is trying to make Milo and Melissa get together.

[GeorgeGlass]

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From nautiscarader on July 18, 2017

Interesting idea - certainly good start fir a smut story, like with all those -inators from PnF.

Thanks! As plot devices go, nothing compares to the -inators; writing in other fandoms has forced me to be more creative.

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That being said, I think things went a bit too quickly here, and I'm not talking just about the duration of sex, which is understandable. Jumping straight to intercourse seems a bit too fast, I imagined they would start with something like 69.

I think 69 would be a little too advanced for them. Connie probably understands only the basic idea, and to Steven, it’s just the number before 70.

As for getting right down to intercourse, sexual arousal was only one component of that. They were also desperate to be as close together as possible.

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And, since Connie's mom is a doctor (I haven't really watched that much of SU, so correct me if I'm wrong),

No, you’re quite correct.

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shouldn't Connie at least ask for, you know, a condom? I know this is smut for the point of smut, but turning the sensibility knob a bit wouldn't hurt.

Connie probably knows that she’s too young to get pregnant (which I assume she is, given that’s she’s twelve -- maybe even eleven, since this story takes place in Season 1 -- and shows no sign of having reached puberty). Also, putting a layer of rubber between them seems counter to the purpose of their having sex. Lastly, it would introduce a hard-to-resolve plot problem: If Connie asked for a condom, there would be no one to supply it. And then what would she do?

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At the same time, loved the comedy of other Crystal gems.

Thanks! I love writing comedy, and given that SU is as much a comedy as it is an action drama, I don’t feel like an SU fanfic can be faithful to the show if it doesn’t include a good chunk of humor.

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Overall, it's a great, simple story that can be a starting point to something, perhaps.

I’m not planning a follow-up, but one never knows.

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I have to admit, I am impressed with how easily you are incorporating adult themes into regular stories,

Thank you. For many of these fandoms, I feel like I’m just rounding out the characters, because they would surely have sexual thoughts, feelings, and curiosity -- issues that can’t be explored in much depth in canon.

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I'm always waiting for something new from you, even if it's from a fandom I'm not in (like SU).

It’s a high compliment that you’re interested in reading my stuff even when it’s in a fandom that doesn’t interest you. Thanks again.

Edited July 20, 2017 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

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From Fairy-Slayer on July 19, 2017

First off, it was a great way to start with the kids being excited to see each other, with only a hint or two that it was anything out of the ordinary. Garnet's feelings about it were very cute too, a nice extension from the episode.

There’s something I just love about Steven and Connie’s friendship, much in the way that I love Star and Marco’s on SVTFOE -- except that Steven and Connie’s connection clearly includes a mutual romantic vibe in addition to their friendship.

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Using a bit of future vision to give Steven and Connie's symptoms time to escalate until even Garnet noticed worked. Her "organic solution" comment (and implementation) was fantastic. Also, now that I think about it, it feels like Garnet set Amethyst and then Pearl to "fail the test" and get caught peeking just so she'd have some leverage to help get them out of the way for a while.

That wasn’t my intent, but now that you mention it, that’s probably the best interpretation of what happened (given how Garnet’s future vision works).

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Great work on the awkwardness of the two as they first have a hard time thinking about making love, and then the anxiety over how to begin.

One of my favorite themes is innocence. I love making characters who want each other figure out how to fulfill their desires.

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When Connie mentioned her nightmares about tests I wondered if she'd ever been naked too and, at least thinking of school and tests, that would be a little comforting actually.

Nope.

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"She really liked me!" cracked me up mostly because it's so real that it reminds me of my own awkward early escapades.

You and me both.

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Figuring out that it was up to them to decide how to make it happen was so Steven that if this wasn't about sex then it could be an episode.

It could still be an episode. I’m sure Rebecca Sugar could find a way to do it all in metaphor.

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However, the gentle start and gradual build up in their lovemaking played out beautifully. It also felt like it rose to a good natural point and was still completely satisfying (to the kids and the reader).

Glad you liked it.

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Again though, I'm glad that Connie didn't take Steven's cry of, "Freedom!" the wrong way. The residual reluctance to seeing each other naked even after sex was really cute, plus Connie's compliment was perfect.

These two characters are all about cute and sweet and innocent obliviousness. That’s why I wanted to write a story about them -- even if it did take me more than 2 years to finish it.

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Clearing their memories worked fine for me, both to stick to the canon while also avoiding so many complications. Though it would have been out of place, I like to think that Garnet at least wished she could erase their memories the way Superman did in Superman II.

Not going there.

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Greg's little cool-down talk was very sweet, and Connie's blushing was a nice way to make us hopeful that part of her remembers making love with Steven.

I put Greg in at the end to help ground the story in the broader reality of the show. I also wanted to show Connie’s reaction -- and her reaction to her reaction -- through the eyes of someone who has no idea what they really mean.

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The characterizations were great: Garnet's observation about people "reformatting their food" was a great look at humans through alien eyes. ("INSERT TURKEY IN DRIVE A: AND PRESS ANY KEY")

We don’t get to see that much of Garnet’s thought process on the show, so I thought it would be fun to get into her head a little.

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and the odd rules to Go Fish were a lot of fun;  

I liked the idea of Steven and Connie completely rewriting the rules of the game just so that they could sit next to each other (and have an excuse to play-wrestle).

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Nice use of callback thingy too.

Connie knows how to speak Steven.

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Then there was Amethyst wanting to watch the kids (she's one of us!) and better yet, her reaction to Pearl mentioning the bath water incident.

Of all the lines of dialogue in this story, I think Pearl’s bath water line is my favorite.

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So much Crystal Gem fun, plus Greg's reaction about the upholstery cleaner was adorable.

Again, trying to ground the story in reality -- including the pedestrian details of Greg’s job.

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Thanks for another terrifically lovely and beautifully written tale.

Thanks for another uplifting review!

Edited July 20, 2017 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

From Lucius-Walker on July 01, 2019

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MM, loved this fic! It's also can interesting idea, where gem fusions can have an unintended side effect. Perhaps it can be part of the reason to why Jasper acted the way she did towards Lapis. 

Wow, I never even thought of that. That’s kind of brilliant.

In any case, glad you liked the story, and thanks for the comment!